Which sucked the most eggs: 300, MATRIX REVOLUTIONS, or REVENGE OF THE SITH?

[Skald the Rhymer]

All replies must be in the form of dirty limericks.

Well, not really.

[What Exit?]

Never could get through the dreck that is MATRIX REVOLUTIONS but I saw 300 at the movies with a friend that loved it. So 300 was worse for me as I had to sit through it. Matrix Rev. I just turned off and it cost me nothing. Sith? Not as bad, a terrible movie but watchable once.

[Zuul]

Matrix Rev was the worst, by far. Sith was really, really bad, but we were all expecting it to be bad. 300 looked like self-loathing gay porn. Matrix Revolutions could have been good.

[Skald the Rhymer]

Matrix Rev was the worst, by far. Sith was really, really bad, but we were all expecting it to be bad. 300 looked like self-loathing gay porn. Matrix Revolutions could have been good.

Say that 300 looked like self-loathing gay porn is like saying Taye Diggs looks like a hot black dude.

[The Original An Gadaí]

Sith was the least worst of that execrable trilogy. I didn't see the other two films.

[Inner Stickler]

I haven't seen Sith or Matrix Revolutions. I sat through Phantom and Clone Wars and just couldn't make it that last few hours and I fell asleep 20 minutes into the sequel to the Matrix and so never bothered to watch the third one. (The Matrix was a good movie, I thought until about five minutes after it ended and I realized how nonsensical it truly was.) So I guess 300 because if the plot and action bore you, you can amuse yourself with watching hot guys shirtless?

[Orual]

Sith wasn't great, but it was miles better than the rest of the prequel trilogy. It might have had 5, or maybe even 10 whole minutes of decent acting.

Sequels to The Matrix are just so disappointing. I liked the first one, and it could have stood alone as a decent, if slightly nonsensical bit of scifi. But they couldn't leave well enough alone ...

I'm not going to type out my endless undying rage at 300 twice in one week.

[Skald the Rhymer]

Sith wasn't great, but it was miles better than the rest of the prequel trilogy. It might have had 5, or maybe even 10 whole minutes of decent acting.

Sequels to The Matrix are just so disappointing. I liked the first one, and it could have stood alone as a decent, if slightly nonsensical bit of scifi. But they couldn't leave well enough alone ...

I'm not going to type out my endless undying rage at 300 twice in one week.

But this thread was part of a transparent attempt to whip you, personally, into a frothing fury so that you would be funny again!

[Orual]

But this thread was part of a transparent attempt to whip you, personally, into a frothing fury so that you would be funny again!

... and NOT ONLY were the elephant completely anachronistic, they couldn't even use the right kind. War elephants were INDIAN elephants, not FUCKING MUMAK.

And just because it's a story about an ancient battle, doesn't mean that our friend Frank Miller can't figure out a way to work in the degrading rape of an assertive woman. Come on, who would want to see a movie without that?

Let's have the council of elders be creepy pedophilic lepers, too! That makes sense!

:Shake:NERDRAEG:Shake:

[Skald the Rhymer]

... and NOT ONLY were the elephant completely anachronistic, they couldn't even use the right kind. War elephants were INDIAN elephants, not FUCKING MUMAK.

MumakIL. Mumak is singular. I think. I would check Wikipedia but I don't know how to use the Internet.

And just because it's a story about an ancient battle, doesn't mean that our friend Frank Miller can't figure out a way to work in the degrading rape of an assertive woman. Come on, who would want to see a movie without that?

But at least she gets to kill the rapist!

Also, you're friends with Frank Miller? Why? Did you get direct orders from Aslan not to let me feel lonely or something?

Let's have the council of elders be creepy pedophilic lepers, too! That makes sense!

Well, they're not PEDOPHILES. The maidens they abuse are clearly post-pubescent.

I'm not sure why I'm arguing, since we agree that this movie sucks ostrich eggs.

[OtakuLoki]

I don't know.

I have seen none of these films and have come into this thread simply to boast that I wasn't stupid enough to invest the time on the degree of self-torture any of these films provide.


Neener! Neener! Neener!

[dread pirate jimbo]

I didn't hate Sith -- the big lightsaber duel at the end was sweet and the scene with the mask lowering onto Vader's head from his point of view was extra sweet. And I also agree that it wasn't even the worst in that trilogy -- Phantom Menace was much, much worse. Two words: Jar-Jar fucking Binks.

I also didn't hate Matrix Revolutions. Was it as awesome as the first one? Not even close. But I think it pretty much ended exactly the way it had to; with Keanu Reeves dead (which is awesome!).

I haven't yet seen 300, so I can't comment on it.

[featherlou]

You're just saying that because you know he's Number One on my celebrity freebie list.

I haven't seen 300 yet either (gay porn? must look into this), but Revenge of the Sith and Revolutions both disappointed me because they could have been so much better. George Lucas desperately needs to hire someone else to write his dialogue, for one thing - "ham-handed" doesn't even start to cover it. I'd have to give the edge for worse to Revenge because it doesn't have my sweet baboo, Keanu, in it.

[Orual]

I haven't yet seen 300, so I can't comment on it.

I haven't seen 300 yet either (gay porn? must look into this) ...

HEED MY WARNINGS. HEED THEM. IT IS NOT AT ALL THE FUN KIND OF GAY PORN.

[featherlou]

Okey dokey.

[Skald the Rhymer]

Okey dokey.

Ignore the Queen of Glome. The key to watching 300 as gay porn is to turn the sound off.

That'll be a dollar.