Invent (and brand) a cocktail!

[Oliveloaf]

Friendly Flotsam(tm)

Ingredients:

1 shot vodka
4 oz lemon lime soda
1 tablespoon finely crushed dried yard waste
1 drop olive oil (optional)

In a wide-mouth glass combine the vodka and soda. Carefully distribute yard waste over surface of beverage. Add olive oil to create oily stagnant creek effect. Serve over ice.

[jali]

Bring jali Tea, Tea.

Chai tea prepared.
Gin. Lots of gin.

Shake in iced container.
Strain.
Pour in Martini glass garnished with lime.
Bring to jali.

[OneCentStamp]

I actually make this for artifex all the time. It's basically a hybrid margarita/daiquiri, writ large.

Hemingway's Shotgun
2 parts Bacardi or other decent white rum
1 part Triple Sec - we like Bols brand because it's 60 proof, higher than the average liqueur, and not too sweet.
1 part lime juice - fresh usually, but we keep some bottled juice in the fridge just in case

Shake in a cocktail shaker with ice, pour over the rocks and serve. In its usual proportions here at the OCS/arty household, 1 part = 1.5 oz jigger, so it makes a pretty big drink. It's like the luge, to make a Winter Olympics reference: it goes down fast and smooth, and if you don't know what you're doing, you're gonna get crushed.

[Cluricaun]

Burlington Manhattan

1 measure Makers Mark

Half measure sweet vermouth

Half measure maple syrup

Splash of Angostura Bitters

Shake with ice, strain into chilled martini glass.

[OneCentStamp]

I think I'm missing the spirit* of this thread, because my drink doesn't sound gross.


















* heh.

[Hatshepsut]

I think I'm missing the spirit* of this thread, because my drink doesn't sound gross.

Well, I'll go for black humor with my drink:


THE CLOSET ALCOHOLIC
2 parts vodka
1 part water
2-3 ice cubes

Grab "your" coffee mug that no one in the house ever drinks from. When no one else is in the kitchen, very quietly pour in the vodka, making sure cabinet door opens and shuts softly.

Noisily open freezer, rattle ice tray, and add ice to coffee mug.

Exclaim loudly, "whew! I'm so thirsty all the sudden, I need some cold water!"

Turn faucet on full (or splash some bottled water into sink). Fill mug to top with water, being careful not to add too much. Take a few long, deep swallows before rejoining family members.

[Sarahfeena]

Well, I'll go for black humor with my drink:


THE CLOSET ALCOHOLIC
2 parts vodka
1 part water
2-3 ice cubes

Grab "your" coffee mug that no one in the house ever drinks from. When no one else is in the kitchen, very quietly pour in the vodka, making sure cabinet door opens and shuts softly.

Noisily open freezer, rattle ice tray, and add ice to coffee mug.

Exclaim loudly, "whew! I'm so thirsty all the sudden, I need some cold water!"

Turn faucet on full (or splash some bottled water into sink). Fill mug to top with water, being careful not to add too much. Take a few long, deep swallows before rejoining family members.

My parents will be here on friday, and my sister's wedding is a week from Saturday. I think I'll be mixing a few of these up for myself real soon.

[What Exit?]

Chocolate Russian.
Blender, 1 cup measuring cup.

Chop about a cup or two of ice in blender.
Add many scoops of Chocolate Ice Cream
4 oz Kahlua
4 oz Vodka (cheap is fine)
a Dash of vanilla
add milk to fill out

Blend to frothy Milk Shake.

To mix it up, add a little Amaretto and call it the Rasputin.

[Zuul]

To mix it up, add a little Amaretto and call it the Rasputin.

Nice.

[OneCentStamp]

To mix it up, add a little Amaretto and call it the Rasputin.

Nice.

Agreed. What Exit?, you are a man of arch subtlety and devilish humor.

[artifex]

THE CLOSET ALCOHOLIC
<snip>
Take a few long, deep swallows before rejoining family members.

My variation on this is what I like to think of as The 16-Ounce Cape Cod: a vodka-spiked bottle of cranberry juice. The value-added here is that no one in my family will ask why I'm nipping from a bottle of cranberry juice, as I might say it's because I have a UTI resulting from Having Teh Sex, something my Mormon family wants to avoid all reference to.

(The daiquiri thing OCS makes is indeed awesomeness, as are his whiskey sours!)

[Cluricaun]

I think I'm missing the spirit* of this thread, because my drink doesn't sound gross.

What if you were to garnish this with a slice of crisp bacon?

Edit - "this" of course being my awesome maple and whiskey drink of course.

[Hatshepsut]

My variation on this is what I like to think of as The 16-Ounce Cape Cod: a vodka-spiked bottle of cranberry juice. The value-added here is that no one in my family will ask why I'm nipping from a bottle of cranberry juice, as I might say it's because I have a UTI resulting from Having Teh Sex, something my Mormon family wants to avoid all reference to.

And another advantage, particularly likely to apply in a family of teetotalers who may not be so familiar with the taste of alcohol: cranberry juice probably offers quite a bit of protection against anyone taking a sip and discovering the secret ingredient. First, a lot of people don't like the stuff, and second it probably masks the taste of vodka pretty well.

Unless it's really, really strong, of course.

[OneCentStamp]

What if you were to garnish this with a slice of crisp bacon?

Edit - "this" of course being my awesome maple and whiskey drink of course.

Well, it would certainly further the apparent purpose of the drink; i.e. to create the most interesting vomit possible.

[Cluricaun]

Damn. Does it make a difference that we’re not talking about taking a plastic bottle of Log Cabin brand HFCS out of the pantry and squeezing a fat dollop into a glass of Old Crow? We’re talking about using real maple syrup, the stuff that costs as much as booze does in the first place, to add the sweetness where the sweet vermouth would normally put the sugar into the drink, and using the dry vermouth as the spice base and thinning agent. There’s real thought going into that drink! Harumph I say. Harumph.

I’m guessing that my gin, apple cider and cranberry drink isn’t going to sound good either.

[OneCentStamp]

OK, that sounds a little better. I'd try one. Hold the bacon, though.

[Cluricaun]

Good. Now's the time to say, however, that we're using bacon infused bourbon.

2 strips warm cooked bacon, chopped
4 ounces bourbon
In a small bowl, combine the bacon, any fat that collected in the pan during cooking, and the bourbon. Refrigerate for 1 hour, or until the fat solidifies on the surface of the bourbon.

Remove and discard the fat on the surface, then line a mesh strainer with cheese cloth, then strain the bourbon. If not using immediately, refrigerate.

[OneCentStamp]

I hate you. I take back everything I ever said about admiring your armed atheistness. :Shake:

[Hatshepsut]

I hate you. I take back everything I ever said about admiring your armed atheistness. :Shake:

FOOD FIGHT!!!

[Zuul]

No, no, no. Booze shouldn't break us apart. It should bring us together.

[OneCentStamp]

FOOD FIGHT!!!

Hey, I'll fling a bolognese alla nampla at you just as quick as I'll huck this bacon bourbon at Ryan.

[Cluricaun]

What....what have you done you fools? Throwing bourbon at him only makes him stronger..........

[Zuul]

This is one I made up one night when I wasn't quite old enough to be drinking and we just had a few odds and ends left in the kitchen:

Rainbow Sherbet

2oz Sunny Delight
1oz Creme de Banana
2oz Midori Melon Liqueur
1oz Strawberry Liqueur
1oz skim milk
Splash of grenadine

For maximum enjoyment, mix in a blender so that the milk and Sunny D froth slightly, then pour into one of these:


Then proceed to walk around and say, "Holy crap! This tastes just like rainbow sherbet!" If there are limited bathrooms, try to pace things so only one person is vomitting at a time.

[Hatshepsut]

1 part Zuul's Rainbow Sherbet + 1 part Hatshepsut's Closet Alcoholic + 1 part insanity = Something that might actually be good to drink!

[AllWalker]

Jali's chai tea with gin is brinign back memories...

Water of Life

* sweet iced Green Tea, available from most Asian supermarkets, looks like a bottle of soft drink
* bottle of vodka

Mix to taste. Oolong tea works as a substitute for the green tea.

[Oliveloaf]

Horny Chicken(tm)

3 oz chicken broth
3 oz tonic
1 juice of 1/2 lime

Shake and serve over crushed ice.
Add fried cock's comb as garnish.

[Peeta Mellark]

Death by Screwdriver

1 scoop vanilla ice cream
2 ounces Triple Sec
3 ounces vanilla vodka
Splash of orange juice