Did you read that last scene between the pair?Originally posted by Elendil's Heir
Did you read that last scene between the pair?
In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.
Yeah, heh, she tried to take control and Velir ran for the hills... or perhaps I should say away from them. In any event I think he showed he was less than impressed by her aggressiveness!
That's not how I read it. I read it as Kylah thinking the only way to hang on to him was to give herself to him, and Rangin was too much of a gentleman to take advantage. Besides, he was still trying to understand why there were two other guys in her room with her dressed like that.
If Kylah weren't so intent on running away, the two of them might have ended up in a hotel after dinner. And then lovely music would play and the camera would pan to the window as a flock of birds fly by, and in the distance, a train goes into a tunnel, and beyond that, a rocket takes off for space.
Of course! Well, mostly. I was joking, obviously--CIAS and I went over and over that scene and I'm hip to Velir's motives. (Most of them.) I'd put more emphasis on Rangin's not wanting to take advantage while simultaneously not trusting her. Something or someone in his past is gnawing at him, it seems, given some of the things he's been second-guessing about Kylah's own reasons for behaving as she does, including both pushing him away despite apparently sleeping w/Jan after knowing him five minutes, and now who's this Johnson guy hanging out near her room, and oh hey now she wants to sleep with him even though she won't answer any of his questions. It's totally fair that he's confused and mistrustful, especially if he has his own issues on his mind, not just hers.
If Kylah weren't so intent on running away, the two of them might have ended up in a hotel after dinner. And then lovely music would play and the camera would pan to the window as a flock of birds fly by, and in the distance, a train goes into a tunnel, and beyond that, a rocket takes off for space.
Hitchcock once said, "My characters do not call the police because that would be no fun."
Time wise, Collins and Cooper are way ahead of the rest of the crew, unless they ran full speed up the mountain (which isn't very likely). So let me know, please, when 4 hours since beam down has passed. kthxbai.
Go ahead and post as you wish, anyrose. I'll get the timelines in synch when needed.
I must say, Graham is quite the generous suitor! He doesn't chintz out when it comes to courtship.
+1
Heh...the funny thing is, he neither has expensive tastes himself nor feels obligated to get something fancy--this is one of the lines that IMHO best captures his personality:
Still no point in buying Nia a cheap piece of crap....
BTW one of the other top ten is:
"Your style's pretty good after all," she says, watching his powerful arms attack the water as if it's just insulted his mother.
Thanks, anyrose and general_urko! CIAS and I had fun writing the scene, especially since we ended up writing for each other's characters more than usual. Johnson is such fun as a character; totally irreverent. Having someone like Kylah meet up with him right when she starts on the ship helps explain why she's so stiff/defensive by the time she meets Collins. Bravo to CIAS for developing him as such a rogue with a heart of gold. Also thanks to EH for helping us with Bennett and looking through to catch any problems re: Trek and Starfleet terms, as well as noting a few typos too.+1
Pragmatic and thoughtful -- and it's still pretty generous. Not bad traits to have.Heh...the funny thing is, he neither has expensive tastes himself nor feels obligated to get something fancy--this is one of the lines that IMHO best captures his personality:
Still no point in buying Nia a cheap piece of crap....
Aw thanks! Barely five minutes after Nia first met him, she's made a good observation about his character. That bodes well, even if she doesn't remind him of his late wife. (Which might actually be a good thing, in the long run!)BTW one of the other top ten is:
"Your style's pretty good after all," she says, watching his powerful arms attack the water as if it's just insulted his mother.
Last edited by choie; 03 May 2015 at 02:57 PM.
Okay, so we've got the soap opera of Kylah and Rangin, the sitcom couple of Collins and Cooper, and the rom-com love triangle of Nia, Bennett, and Graham. Maybe, when T'Var goes into Pon Farr, Johnson will still be single.
Or the All-Vulcan Championship Wrestling Team will need a ride aboard the Yorktown to some remote sector....
http://www.planetary.org/become-a-me...ve/bricks.html
I'm a member of the Planetary Society, and have donated a $100 brick with this inscription:
OFFICERS AND CREW
USS YORKTOWN
NCC-1717
If the rest of us kick in $20 each, we could get a brick with our characters' names.
That was really cool of you, EH! Thanks very much!
Glad to. And by all means, buy your own bricks, if you like. The Planetary Society is a great organization, and worthy of the support of every Trekker.
I really think choie ought to consider this character icon when posting as Kylah
How about this one?
Okay now that's just mean!
Apologies for not being around much, we had a sunny Bank Holiday weekend, which is a rarity to be enjoyed.
Thanks to choie for collaborating on the story, it was fun to participate and get to write a bit more about Mr Johnson, other than just being that guy who plays chess against T'Var.
EH - those bricks are a very cool idea.
In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.
Oh wait, would that maybe not be the best course of action?
Dude! Have some decorum! Do I flash your PC's genitalia by proxy?
Wait, hang on. You're telling me that in the future there's no way for someone to put a stop-payment on a credit transaction? Damn, the Federation really does suck at this money thing.
Federation credits are not "credits" as we think of them. They are the actual currency of the Federation. Once a credit - or a dollar, pound, ruble or shekel - leaves your hands, it's gone. Even if that were not so, the bartender clearly has some connections with the underbelly of Federation society, with the ability to put money out of the reach of whoever gives it to him.
Oooooh! It's ON now!
Boy howdy and I thought Rangin's tirades about Graham were epic...!
Wow, no kidding! Gripping stuff, choie and CIAS.
Thank you, EH. I don't know whether toor
over such a painful scene. CIAS really took Velir's leash off--what a torrent of hurt anger that can spill out of normally calm guy! Clearly that was building up for a while.
I had the easy part--after all, confronted with that, what could Kylah possibly say? Except the wrong thing, which is her specialty, poor hapless idiot that she is.
Yeah, Velir went and nuked the bridge on that one.
We hurt the ones we love the most...
In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.
Let me count the ways for Graham to step in it the next time he runs into Rangin...
Be sure to have him find out that Rangin left a distraught Kylah down on the planet by herself. I'm sure that would please Graham to no end. Especially in a half-hour or so when she doesn't return.
By the time Rangin and he have finished speaking, Graham is probably going to want that sparring practice with Collins.
In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.
Adam Savage (Mythbusters) and friends make a Kirktastic captain's chair. Go to 32:23 if you just want to see it when it's done: http://www.slashgear.com/adam-savage...hair-18383958/
OH! EM! GEE! That is beyond awesome!
I'm sure when she's brought onboard on a stretcher Graham will be totally calm...By the time Rangin and he have finished speaking, Graham is probably going to want that sparring practice with Collins.
Wow. Eight pages before the first conflict!
Kjaerstad!
Ooh! That's not just exceedingly clever, it's a lovely bit of turnabout. I hope it works!
Damn, that Rangin is a clever guy!Well done, CiaS
Now if we could just pair "boss sensor skilz" with "not leaving colleagues behind to be robbed and beaten" we'd really be in business...Damn, that Rangin is a clever guy!
Collins just channelled Lenny Briscoe: "Look, we're Homicide, not Vice. Don't worry."
It's fun lying around and bleeding out. Nice and relaxing.
Jeremi Collins: Making Friends and Influencing People since c. 2244.
The bartender might have gotten to sample the experience himself, if Collins had let Graham into the bar...It's fun lying around and bleeding out. Nice and relaxing.
Last edited by general_urko; 19 May 2015 at 11:40 PM.
G_U flex his paws hands, reminding himself the peon staffing the desk in front of him was not personally responsible for the nth consecutive fiasco in the last forty-eight hours. That doesn't fully remove the temptation to smash the desk into ten thousand pieces, given the lack of sleep that resulted from arriving in City A hours late, after 2 in the morning, due to flight delays, nor the fact that upon delayed arrival at City B he is informed he doesn't even has a real hotel room (despite online pre-check-in), rather a fold-out in the carved-off anteroom of a suite, which makes him feel great about the thousands of dollars he's spent on physical therapy in the past few months, but since every freaking hotel in the immediate area is full and he went to bed at 3 AM last night and has to speak in front of 800 people tomorrow morning, maybe he just needs to suck it up for the moment and try to relax. Which would be easier if the hotel bar which ostensibly closes at midnight didn't take last call at 11:30...
More backstory than you need for an apology about dropping off the map at a dramatic moment- posting should return to normal tomorrow evening Eastern time and be cool for rest of week.
Last edited by general_urko; 19 May 2015 at 11:43 PM.
Life happens like that from time to time- hope everything works out for you G_U
In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.
What a pain in the ass, general - so sorry. Hope your speech is boffo and that you have a smooth, safe trip back home.
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