Random quotes from the chat

[Jeff]

Feel free to add your own, let's make this thing longer than the anti-children thread at the dope.

hatesfreedom « Thu May 14, 2009 11:32 am » oh god What Exit is telling one of his senior stories again
hatesfreedom « Thu May 14, 2009 11:32 am » tell us about the time you made soup in 1995
What Exit? « Thu May 14, 2009 11:34 am » So in 1995 I got out a large pot and set the water to boil...

[Oliveloaf]

Chimera » Sun May 10, 2009 9:28 pm

"Or you could be a Real Man and use a propane torch."

[Oliveloaf]

featherlou » Mon Apr 27, 2009 3:05 pm

"I like Fucky better than Chunks"

[Oliveloaf]

Sarahfeena » Tue May 12, 2009 10:16 am

"To save water, we only flush on even-numbered days."

[featherlou]

featherlou » Mon Apr 27, 2009 3:05 pm

"I like Fucky better than Chunks"

That wasn't in chat, was it? I'm so confused!

P.S. There is nothing longer than the anti-kids thread on the Dope. Nothing.

[Oliveloaf]

featherlou » Mon Apr 27, 2009 3:05 pm

"I like Fucky better than Chunks"

That wasn't in chat, was it? I'm so confused!

P.S. There is nothing longer than the anti-kids thread on the Dope. Nothing.

It's in the F*ucking Oyster thread.

[Jeff]

This is for quotes from the chat, meathead!

We doan care 'bout no steeking fucking oysters here.

[Oliveloaf]

Boring.

[Jeff]

Please leave so I can be alone in my failed thread.

[Zuul]

There are no failed threads. Only failed posters.

Er...

I mean...

Just wait until a day when the chat room is hopping.

[featherlou]

Myrnalene « Fri May 15, 2009 9:42 am » Can we induce morality in sea monkeys?

MsRobyn « Fri May 15, 2009 9:34 am » Don't mind me. I'm just sitting here thining about how Canada is just adorable.

It's true; Canada is just adorable.

[Zuul]

This one just really needs to be preserved for posterity:

XJETGIRLX « Fri May 15, 2009 10:21 am » You know, I think we should just let Caerie make all the rules from here on out.

[Rube E. Tewesday]

Myrnalene « Tue May 19, 2009 4:22 pm » he's a little on the ribby side but I bet that's not too far from normal for them

Sarahfeena « Tue May 19, 2009 4:21 pm » That ferret looks like he's starving to death.

What Exit? « Tue May 19, 2009 4:14 pm » Blech! Ugly critter.

Myrnalene « Tue May 19, 2009 4:12 pm » that's what hates looks like under his clothes

[Claptree]

pepperlandgirl « Wed May 20, 2009 9:14 pm » I think stacking several small cakes for a majestic erection is for the best.

[Claptree]

A short while later, Caerie was terribly rude.

Caerie « Wed May 20, 2009 9:24 pm » Claptree, it is rather nice, but the pubes are a bit lacking and the testicles are pathetically small in comparison to the shaft.

and

Excalibur « Wed May 20, 2009 9:24 pm » If you want to capture the male essence in confectionary form it would be easier just to have some dude jerk off on a regular cake.

[Claptree]

Further questioning of manhood:

Caerie « Wed May 20, 2009 9:28 pm » Claptree, the dong is fine, but the danglies are barely big enough to dangle. They look like grapes hanging from a giant deli pickle.

[Jeff]

Dangerously Unqualified « Wed May 20, 2009 6:48 pm » Link my ass, post a picture of that crazy russians wanger.

[Dangerously Unqualified]

See, taken out of context that looks totally...

Um...

Ok, even in context it was...

Uhh...

Nevermind.

[featherlou]

I just walked into the middle of this discussion -

Q.E.D. « Thu May 21, 2009 6:56 pm » I don't think you can make such a broad claim. Have you ever seena dead, skinned baby painted purple and orange? No, you have not.

Um. Yeah. Okay then.

[Myrnalene]

terrifel begins a story......

terrifel « Sat May 23, 2009 4:22 pm » Astonished though he was to find a talking sea hare, the kind-hearted farmer's son could not ignore its cries of distress, and lifting up his pail he set about bludgeoning the savage barnacles, which retreated with surly grunts of displeasure.
terrifel « Sat May 23, 2009 4:19 pm » "Save me!" cried the sea hare piteously as it was roughly assailed by its attackers.
terrifel « Sat May 23, 2009 4:17 pm » There before his eyes lay a pearl-white sea hare, cast up by the tide, being vigorously molested by a mob of gooseneck barnacles.
terrifel « Sat May 23, 2009 4:15 pm » "Here is a strange thing!" said the farmer's son. "Never have I heard a voice laden with such sorrow!" And he went straightaway to lend what aid he might.
terrifel « Sat May 23, 2009 4:13 pm » "Alack a day!" it cried. "Will none hear the cries of a stranger in need?"
terrifel « Sat May 23, 2009 4:11 pm » One morning, as he was filling his pail with the finest and plumpest sand fleas, he heard a tiny voice from a neighboring tide pool.
terrifel « Sat May 23, 2009 4:10 pm » Every day the youngest brother would walk down to the sea, there to gather sand fleas with which to groom the eyebrows.
terrifel « Sat May 23, 2009 4:09 pm » In this kingdom lived a poor eyebrow farmer and his three sons.
terrifel « Sat May 23, 2009 4:08 pm » Once upon a time there was a kingdom by the sea.

Then Q.E.D. came along and interrupted the story, because it is Q.E.D.'s job to stamp out fun wherever he finds it.

[Jeff]

Caerie Sun Jun 07, 2009 4:01 pm I don't knw how many shos of tequla I've had, but my fingers are numb,. WOO

Sorry Caerie.

[Zuul]

Caerie Sun Jun 07, 2009 4:01 pm I don't knw how many shos of tequla I've had, but my fingers are numb,. WOO

Sorry Caerie.

You're going to make me star that Ask the Drunk Mod threwad, aren't you?

[Jeff]

Caerie Sun Jun 07, 2009 4:08 pm SWB has been posting pics of her handstands? And people haven't saved them?

Caerie Sun Jun 07, 2009 4:08 pm You fools. You sad, sad fools.

The Logos Sun Jun 07, 2009 4:09 pm Don't tell her, but I saved one of those pics, as well as a back bend pic. I don't want her to think I'm some sort of psycho stalker or anything.

Caerie Sun Jun 07, 2009 4:09 pm Don'tworry, your secret is safe witrh me.

[Sleeps w/Butterflies]

Eep! There goes pictures in chat!

[The Logos]

Caerie Sun Jun 07, 2009 4:08 pm SWB has been posting pics of her handstands? And people haven't saved them?

Caerie Sun Jun 07, 2009 4:08 pm You fools. You sad, sad fools.

The Logos Sun Jun 07, 2009 4:09 pm Don't tell her, but I saved one of those pics, as well as a back bend pic. I don't want her to think I'm some sort of psycho stalker or anything.

Caerie Sun Jun 07, 2009 4:09 pm Don'tworry, your secret is safe witrh me.

Not really, if that makes you feel any better, SWB. :smile:

[Jeff]

Eep! There goes pictures in chat!

My immature sense of humor has backfired yet again!

[AllWalker]

May this dialogue last for generations...

AllWalker Tue Jun 09, 2009 10:23 pm of ocurse, I'm multitasking

AllWalker Tue Jun 09, 2009 10:24 pm I'm watching 300 and looking at pics of sexy ladies

AllWalker Tue Jun 09, 2009 10:25 pm those 2 things are kind of opposite, now that I think about it

CatInASuit Tue Jun 09, 2009 10:26 pm some people would begin to wonder

AllWalker Tue Jun 09, 2009 10:35 pm yeah, I should choose one or the other - i never realised before that Xerxes was so pretty

[Exy]

Sleeps w/Butterflies Sat Jun 13, 2009 3:09 am I really just didn't know what to say other than "Did you just say 'electric nigger' to me?"

[OtakuLoki]

A little more context for the above post:

Sleeps w/Butterflies Sat Jun 13, 2009 3:05 am He said to me "I'm tired. My boss has been working me like an electric nigger"

[Zuul]

And yet wider context:

Excalibur « Sat Jun 13, 2009 2:04 am » Dem free-niggers f'um de no'f sho am crazy!
Sleeps w/Butterflies « Sat Jun 13, 2009 2:05 am » OMG Exy reminded me of a guy I met a week or so ago at a bar
Sleeps w/Butterflies « Sat Jun 13, 2009 2:05 am » I will never get over racist people saying racist things as if it is nothing.
Sleeps w/Butterflies « Sat Jun 13, 2009 2:05 am » He said to me "I'm tired. My boss has been working me like an electric nigger"
Sleeps w/Butterflies « Sat Jun 13, 2009 2:06 am » I damn near choked

[Jeff]

Sleeps w/Butterflies Sun Jun 14, 2009 7:22 pm what are we talking about?
Excalibur Sun Jun 14, 2009 7:22 pm GOD DAMMIT MOONALENE SHUT YOUR WORD HOLE RIGHT NOW
Myrnalene Sun Jun 14, 2009 7:22 pm the whale is the one with, "Oh my poor friend!" lol John Barrowman fucking sucks

It's not often that I have absolutely no fucking clue what's going on in chat.

[Myrnalene]

Excalibur « Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:32 pm » Eventually I would have ejaculated my various internal organs
Excalibur « Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:32 pm » In a pool of ejaculate
Excalibur « Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:32 pm » Hollow
Excalibur « Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:32 pm » If Gregory Peck had done porn I would by this point literally be a shell of a man

[Exy]

Excalibur « Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:32 pm » Eventually I would have ejaculated my various internal organs
Excalibur « Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:32 pm » In a pool of ejaculate
Excalibur « Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:32 pm » Hollow
Excalibur « Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:32 pm » If Gregory Peck had done porn I would by this point literally be a shell of a man

That doesn't sound like something I would say.

[Myrnalene]

Caerie « Fri Jun 19, 2009 9:39 pm » Everyone else on the Internet must live in a lovely land of pretty people and the few, rare people who don't look like screen idols die virgins. Because where I live, I am surrounded by giant toothless hippos who are fucking like mad.

[Sleeps w/Butterflies]

McNutty Sun Jun 21, 2009 2:39 am - /me sticks one finger through, pauses, withdraws finger
featherlou Sun Jun 21, 2009 2:39 am - one shouldn't indiscriminately stick his penis through a glory hole and hope for the best. He might try looking through it first. If the person on the other side is hard and stroking, he might then poke a finger through. If a finger from the other side returns the gesture, it's time to play ball. Or he might stroke his own penis as a sign of availability until a guy on the other side bites. All is nonverbal. There is no room for small talk in the world of cruising and glory holes.

featherlou Sun Jun 21, 2009 2:38 am - Here we go - "GLORY-HOLE PROTOCOL"

[OtakuLoki]

dread pirate jimbo Thu Jul 02, 2009 12:14 am Can't play a proper game of baseball without snipers. Ya GOT TO have snipers!

[featherlou]

Oh yes, the Glory Hole Protocol. I'm sorta thinking, "New username?"

[Jeff]

Excalibur Wed Jul 01, 2009 10:02 pm LOOK I WOULD LET BARACK OBAMA FUCK ME AT ANY POSSIBLE OPPORTUNITY

[featherlou]

terrifel « Mon Jul 06, 2009 9:06 pm » i remember when a single scrotum bought as much as a dozen do today!
Excalibur « Mon Jul 06, 2009 9:02 pm » things that i am not really into include: scrotal inflation

It's always scrotum, scrotum, scrotum around here.

[featherlou]

Here's a good one from today:

Auntbeast « Tue Jul 07, 2009 8:27 pm » you seem old school
binks « Tue Jul 07, 2009 8:27 pm » the only reason I shave my crotch beard is so freaks cant suck them while they beat off

[binks]

::hangs head in shame::

[Jeff]

SRS CHAT BIZNESS

Caerie Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:03 am If you were a werewolf, would you eat bears?
AllWalker Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:03 am are no bears where i live
binks Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:03 am would you kill baby Hitler?
AllWalker Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:04 am hitlet?
Jeff Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:04 am if i were a werewolf i would eat whatsoever i wanted
Sleeps w/Butterflies Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:04 am duh Jeff, you ARE a bully
AllWalker Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:05 am if i were a vampire, i would eat werewolf hitler
binks Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:05 am I'd target people and infect them with my werewolfery
Jeff Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:05 am I will start with Sleeps for an appetizer, and then spend my days blissfully stalking BigMac-flavoured fat people outside McDonalds
AllWalker Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:05 am but if i were a werewolf i would not eat vampire hitler
Jeff Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:05 am Because she is mean and calling me a bully
Caerie Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:06 am I mean, a bear would be a more interesting challenge than a human. Imagine the rush of taking down a grizzly.
Sleeps w/Butterflies Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:07 am awwww
AllWalker Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:07 am if you were a werebear would you eat a wolf?
AllWalker Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:07 am that would be awesome
binks Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:07 am but imagine the rush of killing grizzly hitler
Sleeps w/Butterflies Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:09 am if I was a werewolf I'd kill lib
AllWalker Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:09 am hmm, if there is a grizzly hitler then there must be jewish bears
Sleeps w/Butterflies Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:09 am I wouldn't eat him, but I'd kill him and stuff corncobs up his ass
Sleeps w/Butterflies Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:09 am well, his people call it maize

[Myrnalene]

AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:11 am » *sigh* my best recipe, but no one is here to appreciate it

AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:09 am » then throw the scalding water in their face, bash them with the stone and rob them

AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:08 am » there! free stone soup. delicious!

AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:08 am » repeat, but with meat

AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:08 am » repeat, but with vegetables

AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:08 am » after a while, repeat, but ask for stock

AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:08 am » after a while, taste it and rave about how delicious it is. if they ask to taste it, say it is not yet ready. ask for a pinch of salt

AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:07 am » when they don't believe you, offer to make it in front of them. go into their kitchen and begin cooking the stone in water

AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:06 am » it's a brilliant recipe - ask someone to give you soup for free. when they refuse, tell them it's okay, you have a delicious stone with which to make your own soup

binks « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:05 am » well, that does sound rather appealing

AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:05 am » all you need is a stone!

AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:04 am » and, if you do it right, it's free

AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:03 am » you could always make stone soup. delicious!

[Claptree]

AllWalker « Sat Jul 18, 2009 2:29 am » tentacle porn

[featherlou]

AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:49 pm » kangaroo is delicious, if you don't mind the gameyness
Claptree « Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:49 pm » I'm gonna get me a late night snack of lutefisk and meatballs
AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:49 pm » someone should rearrange the continents like i proposed
Claptree « Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:49 pm » f me running. Nice job on the quota, mate!
AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:49 pm » ah, damn timezones
AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:48 pm » but last night, i BBQed up some kangaroo steaks and kangaroo sausages while drinking, so my aussiness quota has been met
Claptree « Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:48 pm » Well, I should be getting to bed, actually. I've got a quarter to 4.
AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:48 pm » it's winter - puts a dampener on festivities... and yes, it is quarter to noon now
Claptree « Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:47 pm » It should be mid morning your time, right=?
Claptree « Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:47 pm » As an Australian, how do you defend your not being out getting drunk and nailing Sheilas right now?
Claptree « Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:46 pm » Just one question

Damned furriners.

[featherlou]

Jeff « Fri Jul 17, 2009 9:41 pm » Which will no doubt be covered with unsightly body hair by then
Jeff « Fri Jul 17, 2009 9:41 pm » I'm just getting old and decrepit. Soon I'll feel the clammy hand of deeeeeeeeaaaaaaaath on my shoulder.

That's hawt.

[featherlou]

Jeff « Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:58 pm » that is so hot
Myrnalene « Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:58 pm » I don't think I have any penises
Zuul « Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:58 pm » They levitate around my collarbone.
Myrnalene « Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:58 pm » I dn
Zuul « Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:58 pm » My breasts are DDD cups and don't need a bra.
Zuul « Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:57 pm » ...damnit, Jeff.
Jeff « Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:57 pm » Don't worry, one time I made the same mistake
Excalibur « Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:57 pm » man the only thing bigger than my penises are my H-cup breasts
Jeff « Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:57 pm » that's your forearm, caerie
Sleeps w/Butterflies « Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:56 pm » they see him reading. they hatin
Zuul « Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:56 pm » My penis is only sixteen inches. ;_;

It's all about the penises. Always.

[Zuul]

Worst. Typo. Ever.

Myrnalene « Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:28 pm » he would probably taste kike cyanide
terrifel « Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:28 pm » Nazis taste just like other people, don't be racist
Sleeps w/Butterflies « Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:28 pm » You know, people tease exy about not liking people. . . I think Exy likes way more people than I do
Excalibur « Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:28 pm » raeg
terrifel « Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:27 pm » thank you binks
Myrnalene « Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:27 pm » I don't think a Nazi would taste very good

[AllWalker]

Sleeps w/Butterflies Sun Jul 26, 2009 4:22 pm oh man I shouldn't do nursely things when I'm high

[Dangerously Unqualified]

featherlou « Thu Jul 30, 2009 2:25 pm »

I disavow fence sitting. I've no preference either way but detest the way we lie to ourselves in an effort to make ourselves feel better about joyfully participating in that which we claim to abhor.

But you've just described the true American Way!