Tell us why a story you love would make a great, mediocre, or terrible movie

[Skald the Rhymer]

I was going to stipulate that we should restrict ourselves to books that have not already been given the cinematic treatment, but I figured no one would listen and it was just a waste of electrons. In fact, I don't even care if the book you bring up is not your single most beloved work of fiction. All I ask is that it be a work of fiction--either novel or short story-- that you actually like.

I'll start off with Valerie Martin's A Recent Martyr. Set in New Orleans during the 1970s, it's the story of Emma Miller, an unhappily married woman in her mid-thirties having an affair with Pascal Toussaint. Pascal, in turn, is enamored with Claire D'Anjou, a 20-year-old postulant being obliged to spend a year outside the covent to test her faith. Claire, for her part, is friends with Emma, but has passion only for her God.

It sounds a bit like a romance novel. It isn't. It is, instead, an exploration of the nature of obsessive love. Emma is the narrator, and she comes to see her love for Pascal as a variation of Claire's love for God. This isn't presented as a good thing in either case; both Emma and Claire see their lovers as persons who will be satisfied not simply with their submission to their desires, but with absolute possession of them; whether Emma and Claire will survive the experience is entirely beside the point to both Pascal and God.

I love this book, but it'd make a terrible movie. Oh, there'd be plenty of opportunities for hot naked chicks doing sexual (and sometimes degrading) things; Emma's lovemaking with Pascal grows more and more dangerous as the story progresses, while Claire has a habit of self-flagellation to gain control of herself during prayer sessions. But most of the action of the story is internal; it just wouldn't translate to the screen. I wouldn't want anyone to try, actually--not even if Natalie Portman and Kristen Bell were playing the female leads and agreed to the nudity. Even if the movie were given the indie treatment, I suspect all the interesting things about the story would be lost.

Anyway, that's just me. Anybody else?

[Cluricaun]

The book "I Know This Much is True" by Wally Lamb is a great and well written story that would make the worst movie of all time. It would have to be 11 hours long and most people would quit watching before it ended.

Also for the Baroque Cycle by Neal Stephenson. It would make Lord of the Rings look like a Superbowl Commercial it'd be so long. It would be amazing, but probably really disappointing if they ever even tried.

Conversely, most of Clive Cussler's work would make for some pretty entertaining movies. Sahara and Raise the Titanic both being pretty bad and Cussler himself working against the idea probably means we'll not see too many more while he's still alive.

[What Exit?]

"Stranger in a Strange Land" should never be made into a movie. It would never work, it would be changed too much and edited too much. This is as opposed to something like "Starship Troopers" that could be made true to the book if they wanted to.

[OtakuLoki]

Mairelon the Magician by Patricia Wrede could be made into an awesome film.

First off, the viewpoint character is perfect. She has her own secrets, but they're personal to her - living as a boy on the London streets to avoid pressures to become just another whore in the stews - and something that would be very easy to show to the audience without giving the game away to the rest of the characters. She then falls in with someone she'd thought was a street performer, but found herself actually trying to spy upon a real wizard! Of course, why a real wizard might be hiding as a street magician confounds her. And would the audience, as well.

From there, the action spreads out in ever-increasing ripples from the actions that started when Kim tried to burgle Mairelon's wagon. It's a bit of pure confection, not much meat to the story at all, but it's just so much FUN.

[artifex]

Also for the Baroque Cycle by Neal Stephenson. It would make Lord of the Rings look like a Superbowl Commercial it'd be so long. It would be amazing, but probably really disappointing if they ever even tried.

Zodiac, OTOH, would make a decent movie of a reasonable length. And Cryptonomicon would be interesting, though they probably couldn't get it much under several hours if they included all the major arcs (and cut the math talk to a minimum).

I have noticed that they try to make a lot of movies/miniseries out of Stephen King books, and only once in a while do they not suck. I understand why they want to make the movies - they provide not-terribly-cerebral entertainment for millions of people! My personal theory on why his books don't translate that well to film is that most of the time, the real action is internal, inside the characters' heads, and unless the movie is really heavy on the monologues, the important stuff is hard to portray on-screen. (The Dark Tower would be an exception to this, I think.)

[OneCentStamp]

And Cryptonomicon would be interesting, though they probably couldn't get it much under several hours if they included all the major arcs (and cut the math talk to a minimum).

Or an HBO mini-series with about 10-12 total hours of screen time.

[What Exit?]

"The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt" has a good chance of being made and Martin Scorsese is attached to the film. This would be great and having Martin Scorsese involved gives me hope. The book was written in 1979 by Edmund Morris.
Rumors are that Leonardo DiCaprio will star but that is still very open to change I would think.

I find it interesting that kids have become more aware of 'Teddy' thanks to the "Night at the Museum" pictures. So this project has a chance to do pretty well despite being a History Movie.

Any picture about Theodore could make for a good movie. He was truly bigger than life.

[Orual]

Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell would not work as a movie, sad to say. (As much as I would love a cinematic treatment of magic + the Duke of Wellington = awesomeness.)

The footnotes are half the fun, and there's just no way to translate them.

[Cluricaun]

Or an HBO mini-series with about 10-12 total hours of screen time.

Oh god please let something like that come to pass. I'd actually buy HBO for the first time since The Sopranos went off the air.

[OneCentStamp]

Oh god please let something like that come to pass. I'd actually buy HBO for the first time since The Sopranos went off the air.

Yes, but not not not a Sci-Fi Channel mini-series. Because then it would suck great big encrypted donkey balls.

[Skald the Rhymer]

Yes, but not not not a Sci-Fi Channel mini-series. Because then it would suck great big encrypted donkey balls.

You mean "SyFy." And you have to pronounce it siffy, in order to communicate the appropriate contempt.

[Myrnalene]

Rumors are that Leonardo DiCaprio will star

For the love. Give it a rest, Scorsese. You're allowed to work with a different actor once in a while, ok?

Ender's Game will probably never be made into a movie because there are not enough great child actors in the world to play all the characters without making them wholy annoying. And the story isn't all that cinematic either, IMO.

[What Exit?]

For the love. Give it a rest, Scorsese. You're allowed to work with a different actor once in a while, ok?

Well it is a young Teddy, basically from Harvard to the Rough Riders. So Leonardo could work and he is a good young actor. I'm not sure who a better choice would be in all honesty.

Also I strongly suspect the reason Leonardo is rumored right now is as Scorsese is involved. I don't believe the movie has been casted yet.