The funny RL observations and anecdotes thread RPG omnibus

[Jizzelbin]

You wouldn't believe it if I told you.

Few weeks, number of broads. Minor traffic mishap. Sophie's birthday at work yesterday.

But I got Rachel's phone number, and I'm playing it straight, no monkey business about me over-texting this very pretty woman from Western PA (Pitts) who teaches school kids and both smokes, drinks and third plays an OK game of pool. And she knows NYC, and she lives ten minutes her gig and five minutes from the crib in PDX. And she probably doesn't have crabs or chlamydia, so I rule!

***AND*** I managed to piss off Janice yesterday by being a polite customer sipping Laphroaig 10 and calling her "honey" and all that like I do everybody else. She actually said to my face "Could you stop calling me 'honey' and 'sweetheart
?" The balls on that woman. Former friend. Obviously not current friend, That woman makes me want to puke, and she keeps showing up at bar. ***DENNOCH*** the bar manager was right there, who is the only reason that c**&* works there and said to me "I got that case of Bushmills Black you asked for, first one's on me!" Boo-ya. Third act? "Hey, Janice, sweetie, do me a favor and grab me a Rainier from back there, would you?" Janice about shit her pants about that...but....I'm the man! Don't fuck with the man! Jaime beat the snot out of me at the pool table, but he's pretty goddamned good.

Fucking great. That actually makes me happy, upsetting enemies. I really despise Janice, and I think that anecdote should illustrate why. But I like other people and I'm not giving up, and the bar manager has my back as well.

And whose digits have I got? Fucking Rachel's. Goddamned right, motherfucker!

[Jizzelbin]

Wow.

I normally try to avoid that place when I known whatserface is going to be there. (J is a bartender a few times a week, who used to be a friend).

Judas fricking priest.

She was not hysterical, nor was I, but I had no idea. She literally admitted to have been thinking about this supposed "incident" for several days. This was about a week ago, and she served me for maybe thirty minutes.

To her credit, she was rather calm and the gist was "I'd appreciate it if you not call me 'good girl' or 'honey' and so forth."

Wow.

I think I fixed it but just being calm and listening to her and telling her that's how it is, and it has nothing to do with her and that AFAIC, we just have a professional relationship, and hearing her concerns.

But, man, that was a good ten minutes of unloading on her part.

Which is OK with me: I'm a good listener and believe it or not I sometimes understand people.

Really? Janice spent days and days formulating this little obviously pre-rehearsed speech to me? She doesn't know that I consider her an enemy? And certainly not a friend.

Actually, that's kind of endearing, but I wouldn't go there with a ten foot pole.

But, I think I made her understand that it's not personal, it's business.

[Jizzelbin]

Well, it turns out one *can* in fact have a pretty nice pool table in one's front room.

And the cat (her name is Bobbie and she is a proud feline of a certain age!) likes it too.

https://i.ibb.co/Q7br32vH/20260726-014419.jpg

Also, with enough diligence, it's possible to ferret out an OK deal on a pretty good 4wd truck WITH locking rear (axle) differential. Tires are, stock, nothing to cream about, but I'll bring a little caliper and see if Ferris and the boys haven't been peeling out in the lot much. Plus, four doors, which I think is gay, but I don't even think the higher trim Tacoma models come with the 2-door "extended cab" option. 6'1" bed. It's Japanese, and despite my revulsion at their historical behavior in all things military, they do make good cars that hold their value.

https://images2.autotrader.com/hn/c/...800&height=600

[Jizzelbin]

Huh. Yeah, so I'm applying to join yet *another* private club.

Another pistol and rifle club, but this is in city limits, and is primarily the home base of a bunch of .22LR pistol and rifle teams, including some youth teams.

So, they are careful about vetting people, including that it is open 24/7 for members, to ensure they know how to be safe and not be dicks.

Just bought my first revolver today: second-hand, from a guy in town, so we met at a FFL place so they can do my federal background check and all that.

What a beautiful machine this is! A Smith 686+ with seven-chambers in the cylinder, with a six-inch barrel, and designed to run .357mag all day if one wanted to.

No, not going to be something I'd carry....well....it fits in my shoulder rig pretty well, even though that's made for a FS 1911 firearm....but the elegance and simplicity is something very nice. Easy to defoul the bore and the chambers as well, which would be needed since I'd likely be firing .38spl wadcutters through it most of the time at the range.

Two more "vetting" sessions to go for me with live rounds to see how well I observe basic safety. Last week I used my Ruger Mk. 3 (in .22LR) and while I had some OK groups at a whopping seven yards, they really are concerned if you can hit the paper target and above all be safe while doing it.

Next week will probably bring the GSG/Sig 1911-22, because I find the Ruger really uncomfortable (it is pretty, though!) and am more comfortable with the grip angle and the mechanics of the 1911-format pistols, and the new (to me) Smith 686 with some lead round nose .38sp.

Jesus, H, fucking Christ.

I'm joining clubs all over the fucking place. I'm now a Knight of Columbus, officially, and now these private shooting ranges. What the fuck else, sell Girl Scout Cookies?

In some way, it's a kind of involvement in the community, especially in the KoC, which I'm in a position to contribute to with time and perhaps some lucre (I don't buy their life insurance, but I have the necktie!).

Weird times, people!

[Jizzelbin]

BOOM!

Third degree Knight of Columbus with my local council. Exemplification and all that. No, it's not especially secret, although that's just what one would expect me to say, and there is not a secret handshake. It's basically a bunch of older dudes from the neighborhood who sit around every Tuesday evening, have a few brewskies, and pretend to do stuff. I'm easily the youngest member of this council at age 0x32, or as Jack Benny might have said, 39d. Not by much, but by far am the coolest dude in the council, which isn't saying too much....just that I'm a swinging bachelor who has a bunch of bills to pay and no woman yapping at me all day about her damned kids and whatever.

Whatever happened to that Strine dude? I swear, that little bugger ups and goes as he pleases. Probably in Estonia now, working at his Estonian language skills. Or maybe imprisoned in an underground bunker

These guys are falling down, though....not much with the fundraising for the current fund-raising for those with intellectual disabilities.

Will soon get working on changing that.

And, no, we don't have any cool stuff to wear....the ceremonial sword, scabbard, and the headress are regalia for fourth-degree Sir Knights. At most, a little lapel pin, and some neckties, but those are not supposed to be worn or displayed outside of Knights-related affairs, and at Mass on Sundays and other holy days of obligation. Which is kind of a bummer, because the lapel pin is pretty cool, and the neckties are pretty nice silk ties for any occasion, really.

But my council does issue membership "cards"....so I guess that's kind of neat to have an NRA membership card, a Knights of Columbus ID card, a Concealed Handgun License, a Concealed Handgun Insurance card with a contact number if I need an attorney to post bond for me....and some other stuff in there. Two gun club IDs.

"Hey, Jack. You ever have sex with an animal?"

No, not really. But if there was a Zelig-Gump sort of timeline of improbably coincidences, I might have taken a shot at one or two of them.

Oh, here's one last random thought/observation....finally remembered to buy a ballcap or two from "bighatstore" dot com....yeah, the old melon is 7.75"and none of the regular ballcaps fit me.

It's wise to wear one when target shooting with G. Gordon Liddy's force ghost beside one....hot brass and all that.

Now I don't ever like to leave the house without a ballcap on.

That's not in itself bad...I always take the time to curve the brim into a good "redneck roll"....but people probably think I'm bald or baldinger than is the case.

And, no, I'm not going to funnel any money into a Bills-branded cap, although they are the closest to "my team" when it comes to NFL It's not just because Buffalo is determined to suck every damned year since forever, despite all that talent up there. Don't care enough about baseball to do more than half-heartedly cheer on the Ms and silently try to make Oakland/Sacramento/Las Vegas fail, as well as the Yanks and Boston, who can all suck it. Have never followed hockey, really.

So, kind of limited in "expression," about the caps, but damned if those things don't work pretty well at keeping sun out of one's eyes. Plus, kind of comfortable....yes, even around the house. Keeps my eyeglasses from falling off, and pins that filthy rats' nest of hair away from my skin, and the brim is a pretty sturdy anchor for a headlamp, which I find is a useful tool when doing some kinds of mechanical fiddling around with...mostly cleaning and reassembling firearms, but also for sorting out audio cables of all kinds to and from various sources and through one of several audio mixers.