Reveal a deep dark secret

[Sarahfeena]

Don't worry, we won't tell.

[What Exit?]

I love "Come On Eileen".

[dread pirate jimbo]

Now I'm gonna have "Come on, Too-ra ta-loo-ra" running through my head all day. Damn you, What Jim!

I know the entire dance routine from Bananarama's "Venus" video by heart.

[Laughing Lagomorph]

...

I know the entire dance routine from Bananarama's "Venus" video by heart.

I didn't think this was too bad...until I realized a guy had posted it.

[Cluricaun]

I wish to own an actual human skull and I think that the Fair Tax proposal is a good idea.

[Cluricaun]

And I sometimes drink Coors Light.

[OneCentStamp]

I already knew about the Coors Light, so the additional revelation that you want to build yourself a throne out of the skulls of the working poor is no big whoop.

[Laughing Lagomorph]

I rooted for the Red Sox, once (to beat the Mets in the 1986 World Series).

[Cluricaun]

I sneak into grade school bathrooms and poop in the urinals and leave a note that "Skyler" did it, because I hate children named Skyler.

[Sarahfeena]

I sneak into grade school bathrooms and poop in the urinals and leave a note that "Skyler" did it, because I hate children named Skyler.

OK, REAL confessions, please!

[Cluricaun]

Ha! You think it WAS Skyler don't you? Have fun in therapy and never having recess again Skyler, you little bastard.

[OneCentStamp]

Once, when I was 16, I went to a party at the house of a girl who was a FOAF. The house was big and very nice and there were probably 200 people there, from my high school and another neighboring school. I went upstairs to use the bathroom because there was a long line at the downstairs bathroom. The shower curtain in the upstairs bathroom was halfway open and all the bath products were lined up on the edge of the tub. I took a bottle of hair conditioner and poured it out until it was only about 1/4 full. I then poured Nair from another bottle into it, about twice as much Nair as conditioner. I re-capped the bottle, shook it up well, and put it back in place. I was originally going to do it to a shampoo bottle, but I realized that people leave conditioner in for a lot longer and it would be more likely to have an effect.

I ruined a complete stranger's junior jear in high school for no reason.

[Cluricaun]

Ok, ok. Back to serious stuff: I honestly believe in my heart of hearts that despite the fact that I'm almost 100% assuredly unable to do so, that if I wanted to I could do one of those "Run up a wall and do a back flip" moves.

I'm also pretty sure that I'm a fantastic dancer.

I have a surplus of self confidence.

[Sarahfeena]

Once, when I was 16, I went to a party at the house of a girl who was a FOAF. The house was big and very nice and there were probably 200 people there, from my high school and another neighboring school. I went upstairs to use the bathroom because there was a long line at the downstairs bathroom. The shower curtain in the upstairs bathroom was halfway open and all the bath products were lined up on the edge of the tub. I took a bottle of hair conditioner and poured it out until it was only about 1/4 full. I then poured Nair from another bottle into it, about twice as much Nair as conditioner. I re-capped the bottle, shook it up well, and put it back in place. I was originally going to do it to a shampoo bottle, but I realized that people leave conditioner in for a lot longer and it would be more likely to have an effect.

I ruined a complete stranger's junior jear in high school for no reason.

I don't know if this will make you feel better, but it takes longer than conditioner-time for Nair to work. I think like 10-15 minutes. It also stinks to high heaven. So, she may have caught on, and even if she didn't, it probably didn't have TOO much of an effect.

[OneCentStamp]

I don't know if this will make you feel better, but it takes longer than conditioner-time for Nair to work. I think like 10-15 minutes. It also stinks to high heaven. So, she may have caught on, and even if she didn't, it probably didn't have TOO much of an effect.

She lost her hair in handfuls. I didn't even have to ask about the results of my handiwork (and in fact, I was terrified of retribution and didn't talk to anyone about it until I was 30); word spread.

[Sarahfeena]

She lost her hair in handfuls. I didn't even have to ask about the results of my handiwork (and in fact, I was terrified of retribution and didn't talk to anyone about it until I was 30); word spread.

Oh no. Yikes.

[vison]

This isn't my confession but since my poor brother died, I will make it for him: he was drunk at a party and hid in the shower (the shower curtain was opaque) so as to jump out at girls when they came in to pee. But it sorta backfired as girls often go in pairs and the first pair jumped him and turned on the shower and that was the end of that.

I stole a bra once. From Woodward's at Oakridge. In about 1963. I'd go and pay for it now, but Woodward's went broke. I wonder if that stolen bra had any part in that?

[Revs]

Once my friend's and I cost another friend of ours several hundred dollars in tire replacement costs.

Pete(not his real name) was a guy in our circle of friends. He was one of those guys who would either act like your best friend, or a complete jackass, depending on his mood. So we all had a hot/cold thing going on with him.

One night we are all at a party. Pete comes speeding in and is mad as hell. Someone had slashed a tire on his car while he was in a restaurant getting something to eat. After handing him a drink and a round of questioning, it comes out that the reason Pete was so mad is because he had to spend X amount of dollars to get it fixed. Someone pointed out that a new tire shouldn't cost as much as X. Pete then says that he had his car towed because he didn't have a jack or lug wrench with him. Now we all begin poking fun at him "what were you thinking man, we all live within a 10 minute walk of where this happened, you could have called any of us to come jack your car up and put the donut on." I even got in on it too " WTF Pete, I don't even have a car and I have a jack and lug wrenches in the garage."

Now Pete is the sort of person that gets upset when confronted with logic, and often confuses good natured ribbing with grievous personal insults. He then starts accusing everyone else at the party of slashing his tire and is also going around demanding alibis from us. A few hours later he is inside still acting all pissy. Someone had the idea of not slashing his tires, but letting the air out, just to see the look on his face. We all thought this was a great idea, especially because someone had an air pump in their car and would just fill the tires back up right there. So we went ahead and let the air out.

Pete comes out and discovers that he now has four flats. He gets volcanic eruption mad. We all have a good laugh and try to calm him down and distract him while someone goes back a fills up the tires again. He calls a tow truck again, and ends up replacing all four tires. To this day he still doesn't realize that he ended up spending a couple of hundred bucks on the tow and new tires due to a practical joke.

[OtakuLoki]

I would bare hand potentially contaminated surfaces when I felt that the risks were lower than the hassle of donning proper anti-contamination clothing.

I did, of course, make sure to frisk my hands very carefully after those instances.

[dread pirate jimbo]

I didn't think this was too bad...until I realized a guy had posted it.

And that is why it's a deep, dark secret!!!

I also have about 1/2 of the choreography from Kylie Minogue's "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" video down cold. Still working on that one -- it's much more complicated!

[Inner Stickler]

I don't know if this will make you feel better, but it takes longer than conditioner-time for Nair to work. I think like 10-15 minutes. It also stinks to high heaven. So, she may have caught on, and even if she didn't, it probably didn't have TOO much of an effect.

Nair is one of those goops that works in 20 seconds if it would be really bad and takes for-ever if you are using it properly. And there are nair formulations that don't reek so bad as the full-strength stuff.

[Oliveloaf]

I can't stop watching Golden Girls.

[Clothahump]

Post deleted.

[Zuul]

The last time I saw my dad he was pissed off at my mom and, by extension, me. It was the only time we parted company without a hug. Two months later he was dead.

[Rube E. Tewesday]

I have 20 year old porn videos hidden in my house.

I don't own a VCR anymore.

[Hatshepsut]

Post deleted.

No, your original impulses were right - share with us!

Between my freshman and sophomore years of college, I had a hellish summer job working at a girl's camp. I had an absurd number of job responsibilities - manning the switchboard (an old-fashioned low-tech monstrosity that made Lily Tomlin's get-up look sophisticated), keeping the books, teaching creative writing, publishing the weekly camp newsletter, planning the chapel service every Sunday, and completely running the camp store. The camp owner was a tyrant. We all lived in terror of her rage. So, it was an unhappy and stressful summer.

I still cannot believe I did this, but I used to wake up in the middle of the night, sneak down to the camp store, and take candy bars/ice cream from the inventory and gobble them up on the spot, never paying for them. (I'm not sure how I got away with this, but since I was in charge of practically everything administrative, I'm sure I was able to fix the inventory records.) I still feel kind of guilty about it.

Also, I voted for William Weld as governor of Massachusetts. But his opponent was John Silber, so that was a no-win situation.

[Skald the Rhymer]

I can think of several events in which, if things had gone only a little differently, I would justifiably have been in jail the next day.

[Taumpy]

I rooted for the Red Sox, once (to beat the Mets in the 1986 World Series).

That's pretty awful, dude. The Yankees could be playing against Satan's legion of the damned, with Hitler on first and Stalin in left and I still wouldn't cheer for them. Even if they were playing for all our souls.

Something that happened in high school that I'm still sort of ashamed of. One day I was on my way to a class and found a ten dollar bill on the stairs. Later in the day, in a different class one of the girls was crying (literally crying) over having lost a ten in the same area I found it. I don't remember what she was saying it was for, but obviously it was important because she was pretty upset, and I.... didn't give it back. I don't know why I did that, but obviously that's pretty jerkish.

[Laughing Lagomorph]

That's pretty awful, dude. The Yankees could be playing against Satan's legion of the damned, with Hitler on first and Stalin in left and I still wouldn't cheer for them. Even if they were playing for all our souls. ....

Well, it was either them or that Yaweh-cursed crowd of coke fiends and egomaniacs that were the 1986 Mets. I was at college and all the obnoxious Long Island kids were rooting for the Mets, since my Yankees weren't in it I figured I should root for the AL representative team.

So you see why my dislike for the Red Sox is pretty strong...the one time I wanted them to win it they blew it, in pretty classic fashion. Then when they were "supposed" to blow it (2004) they won it! At least when they always lost the big games/series they had a certain underdog charm. Now they're just Yankees Lite.

[RabbitMage]

I found $400 once.

I kept it.

(Do you feel like less of a jerk Taumpy?)

[Zuul]

How did you find $400?

[RabbitMage]

Magic!

Actually I was traveling to a conference with a group of co-workers. We stopped in a town along the freeway that only exists to cater to drivers, and coming out of the Starbucks I spotted something near my feet in the parking lot. I moved to grab it-and it turned out to be a hundred dollar bill. I looked up and saw three more sitting there. I held us up for about twenty minutes trying to figure out who to contact about it-no one at the Starbucks seemed to know what county we were technically in, I scoured their phonebook...I even asked a group of firefighters in the parking lot for suggestions. No one seemed to know what I needed to do with it or what number I needed to call.

In the light of everyone's cluelessness including my own, and the fact we were now 20 minutes behind the other car we were traveling with, we left. I took the money with me. I still torture myself occasionally, hoping this wasn't money for someone's dialysis treatment or something awful. :-(

[Taumpy]

(Do you feel like less of a jerk Taumpy?)

No, not really. But thanks.