From the "Mildly Interesting a Bit Surprising" file

[pepperlandgirl]

Meredith Baxter reveals she's a lesbian.

Also she's a "later in life" lesbian. I guess she realized 7 years ago (after 3 marriages) that she was in fact a lesbian and kept her orientation a secret. But it looks like from the article that she's got a lot of support from her family and friends.

[tunaman]

Put me in the "not the least bit surprised" column.

[OneCentStamp]

Poor lady - just think of all those years she could have been wearing more comfortable shoes.

[pepperlandgirl]

OneCentStamp that made me literally LOL.

I'm always fascinated by these types of stories, though. In the 53 years prior to her relationship with a woman, did she ever look at a lady and think "I've got to break me off a piece of that" (Or whatever is more appropriate there)? Is there anyway that this really could have been a surprise to her? The article made it sound like it never occurred to her to be with a woman prior to the first relationship.

[Sarahfeena]

Mrs. Birney?! How can that be?!

[tunaman]

Mrs. Birney? She dropped that from her name years ago (my GF used to watch a lot of Lifetime movies).

[Sarahfeena]

Mrs. Birney? She dropped that from her name years ago (my GF used to watch a lot of Lifetime movies).

Oh, I know...I think she's been married a couple times since then. Now we know why the marriages weren't working out!

[Inner Stickler]

For a moment I was thinking of Meredith Viera and I got confused. At any rate, I'm glad she's found happiness and I hope her smooth transition, or whatever, will inspire others.

[Oliveloaf]

This is a big "Who cares?"

I am puzzled as to why folks still feel they still need to "come out." Unless you're completely washed up and have an autobiography on the way. Of course, then it's also a good idea to out your father as a pedophile. But I digress. Seriously...doesn't making a big announcement just feed the notion that being gay is somehow wrong or strange? Do I need to make an announcement that I am overweight? Does Sarahfeena need to make an announcement that she watches way too much reality TV?

Public outings should be reserved for things you admit you need/want to fix. So, maybe like Sarah's TV problem.

I would be completely cool with Sean Hannity (or James Dobson) outing himself as a dick, for instance.

[Sarahfeena]

I think (speaking as a straight, totally mainstream person who doesn't really know what she's talking about at all) that people still have to come around to an acceptance of it, though. Especially an older person who grew up in a time when it wasn't as accepted as it is now. Part of that process is to do the coming out thing...I almost think it's a way of making it OK to yourself.

[Inner Stickler]

I think for celebrities, a lot of it is beating tabloids to the punch.

[Sarahfeena]

Yeah, that makes sense to me, too. At least that gives them some control of the story.

[pepperlandgirl]

I think that it's still important when celebrities (no matter how major or minor they are) come out as gay. Sure, very few of today's young people know who Meredith Baxter is, but it's part of a cumulative effect. You might not care if a person is gay or straight, Oliveloaf, but plenty of people still care, and care deeply. I mean, somebody on this board has a loved one who is at risk of being suspended from school because he has a boyfriend. That's it. That's all. I know lots of people who don't dare come out to their families or their communities for fear of being disowned/ostracized, and so feel like they're living a lie every single day of their lives. Has there been great strides towards GLBT acceptance in the past, say, decade? Of course. But being gay isn't unremarkable yet (as in, not even worthy of talking about because it's so accepted and common).

I remember when Ellen came out and she did an interview on Oprah. Several of the audience members asked why Ellen thought anybody would care or that it was anybody's business. The subtext of those questions were "Why won't you stay in the closet where we don't have to acknowledge you? Why are you making us recognize you?" They were angry because they could pretend that they were enlightened ("Gay, straight, I don't care!") when in reality they were just unnerved because they found homosexuality disgusting/distasteful/etc. I'm not saying that this is the subtext of your post Oliveloaf. Not at all. I really do believe that it's a non-issue to you. But for many people, that is still the subtext for that sort of question. And the best way to fight against that sort of subtle bigotry is to live their lives openly and proudly, without shame. In other words, people care not because it's so weird/exotic/unique that somebody is gay, but because there's still such a large population in the United States that would keep gay people in the closet, in the dark, and on the fringes of society.

[Zuul]

I think for celebrities, a lot of it is beating tabloids to the punch.

Yeah, I think you're right. They come out because the alternative is to be tabloid fodder and have everything they do turned into a big homophobic joke. By coming out and giving a few splashy interviews, they're making it as boring as anyone else's sex life.

As to the question about how someone can go that long without realizing they're gay: denial and societal pressure are powerful forces. There doesn't even need to be any kind of overt pressure or hate pushing them to keep them from recognizing their orientation.

Our cultural narrative has men + woman as the default. No one has to come out as straight because everyone is assumed to be straight. Some people recognize that they don't fit into that paradigm early on in life, but a lot don't. If they don't enjoy heterosexual relationships as much as they should, they might think it's a low sex drive, or incompatible partners, or a million other things. Most of the people who came out later on that I've known or read about knew on some level even if they didn't admit it consciously, but it's entirely possible that with a woman's far more fluid sexuality Meredith had simply not recognized it until recently.

[Oliveloaf]

I think that it's still important when celebrities (no matter how major or minor they are) come out as gay. Sure, very few of today's young people know who Meredith Baxter is, but it's part of a cumulative effect. You might not care if a person is gay or straight, Oliveloaf, but plenty of people still care, and care deeply. I mean, somebody on this board has a loved one who is at risk of being suspended from school because he has a boyfriend. That's it. That's all. I know lots of people who don't dare come out to their families or their communities for fear of being disowned/ostracized, and so feel like they're living a lie every single day of their lives. Has there been great strides towards GLBT acceptance in the past, say, decade? Of course. But being gay isn't unremarkable yet (as in, not even worthy of talking about because it's so accepted and common).



I remember when Ellen came out and she did an interview on Oprah. Several of the audience members asked why Ellen thought anybody would care or that it was anybody's business. The subtext of those questions were "Why won't you stay in the closet where we don't have to acknowledge you? Why are you making us recognize you?" They were angry because they could pretend that they were enlightened ("Gay, straight, I don't care!") when in reality they were just unnerved because they found homosexuality disgusting/distasteful/etc. I'm not saying that this is the subtext of your post Oliveloaf. Not at all. I really do believe that it's a non-issue to you. But for many people, that is still the subtext for that sort of question. And the best way to fight against that sort of subtle bigotry is to live their lives openly and proudly, without shame. In other words, people care not because it's so weird/exotic/unique that somebody is gay, but because there's still such a large population in the United States that would keep gay people in the closet, in the dark, and on the fringes of society.

You're right about me wanting it to be a non issue. And I see why it might "normalize" things somewhat it people realize how common homosexuality is.

But I'm cynical enough to question late-in-life confessions by celebrities in decline.

The George Takei (Sulu) coming-out hysterics were mystifying. Dude's in his late Sixties. Media loved it though. And I suppose if a few people came to accept an openly gay couple because of it...that's good.

I'm waiting another twenty years before I come out and tell the world that I am Jame Earl Jones' bastard child. Oh, and he used to make me dress like a girl, read Penthouse and smoke menthols.

[Oliveloaf]

Meredith Baxter reveals she's a lesbian.

Also she's a "later in life" lesbian. I guess she realized 7 years ago (after 3 marriages) that she was in fact a lesbian and kept her orientation a secret. But it looks like from the article that she's got a lot of support from her family and friends.

BTW, I would have liked this info back when she was hot.

Just saying.

[SeeOhTwo]

Tonight is right for love, you know I
Wanna touch you where the lights don't go
Tonight is right for love with Meredith Baxter-Birney