Product directions/warnings that make no sense

[OneCentStamp]

I remember looking at a container of Q-Tips, and it had a panel describing all the many uses of their premium cotton swabs: you can use it as a paintbrush! - apply makeup with it! - clean and varnish a musical instrument! Then I saw a little warning under the directions: do not insert into ear canal.

Um...all the household uses in the world do not obscure the fact that what people do with Q-Tips is stick them in their freaking ears. I mean, come on.

And today, whilst idly reading the back of my bag of cough drops, I read a warning not to exceed the recommended dosage. Huh? Dosage? So I looked for the dosage, and it said: do not exceed one lozenge every two hours.

When you have a bad enough cough and sore throat that you need to brave the nasty flavor of cough drops, you just wolf them down one after another, all day. That's what you do.

Any other examples?

[Inner Stickler]

Q-tips damage your ear canal. You shouldn't stick anything bigger than your finger in the actual ear. I like to use q-tips to clean the ridges of the outer part of my ear. I forget what it's called but it's where piercings go and use a washcloth in the shower for the actual ear.

[Cluricaun]

That warning is so that when you're in Las Vegas with the woman who will one day be your fiancee and you're getting ready one afternoon and you're, er, Q-tipping your ear so deep that there's more of it in your ear than out of your ear and she comes charging into the bathroom knocking the door into your Tip wielding arm's elbow so hard that 6 years later you still occasionally still sneeze out bits of cotton and brain tissue that you cannot sue Q-tip for this happening.

[AllWalker]

That warning is so that when you're in Las Vegas with the woman who will one day be your fiancee and you're getting ready one afternoon and you're, er, Q-tipping your ear so deep that there's more of it in your ear than out of your ear and she comes charging into the bathroom knocking the door into your Tip wielding arm's elbow so hard that 6 years later you still occasionally still sneeze out bits of cotton and brain tissue that you cannot sue Q-tip for this happening.

Exactly. All warnings like this are CYA*, pure and simple.

I like the one I saw on the driver's side window of a bus - "Do not enter the vehicle via this window". Oh please, not even once?

*Cover Your Arse. Lawyers have to sue someone, so make sure it isn't you.