People you meet at the dog park

[elmwood]

The Poop Nazi



Demographics: usually female and 50+

She's the one who, as soon as a dog looks like it's squatting over to poop, will yell "SOMEONE'S DOG IS POOPING!" She'll yell at you, screaming that your dog is pooping, even as you're running over to Fido with plastic bags in hand. She'll yell at you if your female dog is squatting low to pee, because it looks like she could be pooping. She'll blame you for stray poops she picks up around the park, even if you've just walked through the airlock moments ago.


The Pug Posse



Demographics: urban hipsters in their 20s, usually female

They all meet up at a certain time every day, each with one or more pugs. Just as the pugs play in their own little world, shunning the big dogs, members of Pug Posse ignore everyone else at the dog park who doesn't own a pug.


Womyn of the Wolf



Demographics: lesbian women in their 30s and older

They're living stereotypes: two stocky, butch women with short hair, arriving in a Subaru Forester, with a Siberian Husky, Malamute, or Arctic breed mutt that looks "wolfy" in tow.

The Mutt Snob



Demographics: female, late 30s and up.

They usually arrive in a beater car covered with bumper stickers with phrases like "Don't Breed or Buy While Homeless Pets Die". All their attention is directed towards mutts, especially the "SPCA brown n' black" variety. With the zeal of a Baptist missionary or Linux user, they preach the superiority of mutts over purebred dogs; hybrid vigor, less prone to genetic diseases, and so on. They chastise owners of purebreds for paying hundreds or thousands of dollars on a dog while hundreds of homeless mutts are put down in animal shelters every day. Allergies to shedding dogs, desiring a certain temperament, or rescuing a purebred aren't adequate excuses for not owning a Chow/German Shepherd/Lab/Beagle mix.


The Agility Hippie



Demographics: usually male, mid-to-late 20s to mid-40s.

Looking as if they followed Widespread Panic around the country for the past two months, you'll see the Agility Hippie off in one corner of the dog park, playing frisbee with their obsessive/compulsive Australian Shepherd. Of course, dogs being social creatures, many will venture over to compete for the frisbee with "Garcia", "Fillmore", "Windsong" or "Kindbud". The result: the Agility Hippie's mellow will be harshed, and he'll usually yell to the pack of humans "Hey, man! Keep your dogs away from us! We're in training, man!"

How about your dog park patron archetypes?

[Zuul]

I don't have a dog, so I feel a bit left out here. Your post did leave me wondering, though: are there any men at these dog parks?

[RabbitMage]

Here's a few I've noticed in some of my dog park adventures.

That Guy Who Shouldn't Own a Pitbull
http://www.steelcityblueskennels.com/Gotti2.gif
Demographics: Usually male, 20-30's, often talking on cell phone the whole time.

Pit bulls can be very good dogs. However, due to dog aggression which is common in the breed, they don't always make the best candidates for dog park socialization. There's always one dude who comes in with a hippo-style pit bull, usually sporting a leather studded or spiked collar, or a choke chain. The dog is usually male and usually isn't neutered. And usually, most other dog park patrons will leave.

The 'Child Substitute' Owner
http://www.thepet-boutique.com/image...ess_small1.jpg
Demographics: female, early 30's-mid 50's

They show up with their dog, who is usually under 10 lbs, sporting a matching collar and leash set PLUS puppy's new designer dress/tank top/matching hat/shorts. Assuming they actually set their dog down, they'll complain when any dog tries to meet/play with their Precious Baby, or that her darling little clothes got dirty.

The Child Care Center:
http://www.ausgang.com/collect/gif/g...id-dog-gun.jpg
Demographics: One or two parents, usually in their late 20's to mid 30's, and a minimum of two overactive children under 10.
This family shows up with a young dog/puppy of some hyper, sturdy breed that puts up with endless hours of manhandling and roughhousing by the kids. Neither the dog nor children are properly trained. The dog plays rough with other dogs or barrels into people, while the kids assume all the other dogs act exactly like theirs, and run around the park trying to play with/pet/poke each and every one. The parents ignore the bad behavior of their brood, or at so busy correcting the children's/dog's behavior they don't notice the bad things the dog/children are doing.

Edit: Yes Zuul, there are men. But the more notable characters tend to be female.

[dogbutler]

I don't have a dog, so I feel a bit left out here. Your post did leave me wondering, though: are there any men at these dog parks?

I go, and last time I went, there was an Army sergeant explaining why he had a 4lbs Yorkie with a pink harness.

[ivan astikov]

Great thread idea and a well executed OP.

I've met all the above except The Womyn Of The Wolf, but I think that is probably a good thing - they look quite scary.

I go, and last time I went, there was an Army sergeant explaining why he had a 4lbs Yorkie with a pink harness.

Let's hear it then. I bet he blamed it on his wife!

[Sarahfeena]

I don't have a dog, so I don't frequent dog parks. But there seems like every other gay couple in my neighborhood has a chihuahua!