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Thread: The free medical advice thread!

  1. #1
    Banned
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    Default The free medical advice thread!

    Since that other place is cracking down on this kind of thing, I was thinking that what we need is a thread where Mellophants can get together and offer free advice for the diagnosis and treatment of real medical conditions!

    Step right up, folks, and ask your questions and the kind folks at Mellophant -- all of whom are not just doctors, but your doctors -- will tell you exactly what you should do!
    Last edited by Exy; 15 Mar 2010 at 12:46 PM.

  2. #2
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    I've had a scratcy throat and cough for days. What's wrong with me?

  3. #3
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Head lice. Rub some tar in your hair and you should be fine.

  4. #4
    Curmudgeon OtakuLoki's avatar
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    The simplest and most effective way to lose weight is using a chainsaw to cut slices from your ass, thighs and belly. Anaesthesia is for wimps.

  5. #5
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    Better to be save than sorry, Rube. Stop by my van tomorrow for a good bloodletting.

  6. #6
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Here's some of that medicine that --- Good stuff, I tell ya!
    Last edited by ivan astikov; 16 Mar 2010 at 06:21 AM.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  7. #7
    Aged Turtle Wizard Clothahump's avatar
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    Stop picking at it, it'll get infected!!!!
    Political correctness will be the death of our country.

  8. #8
    Living la vida broke-a Revs's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ivan astikov View post
    Here's some of that medicine that --- Good stuff, I tell ya!
    You seen Jonsey recently? He could definitely use the hair part.


    Also I've got this pain in my shoulder, not sure where it came from but it's there.
    Give me whiskey when I'm thirsty,Give me a cold beer when I'm dry, Give me root beer when I'm sickly, Give me a headstone when I die.

  9. #9
    Oliphaunt
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    A witch has put the evil eye on you, Revs. Chop up some toad heads and wear them in a bag around your neck.

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