All message board users from India: report to the Thunderdome

[elmwood]

Dot, not feather.
Convenience store, not casino.
Tech support, not tomahawk.
You get the idea.

Anyhow, for about a year, the message board I ran was getting hit hard by spammer from India. Yes, there were some Nigerians, Russians, and Ukrainians among the lot of spammers, but the vast majority were from India. I put anti-spam measures in place -- posts that include a URL or certain keywords made by new users were sent to a moderation queue, many free email addresses were blocked, the IPs of new users were cross-checked against the location field upon registration, and so on -- but it wasn't enough Finally, about nine months ago, I edited the site's .htaccess file, redirecting IPs from India away from the normal registration page to a page with instructions about how to register by email. We asked for a username, email address, location, and statement about why they were interested in the message board.

It slowed the spam, but it didn't slow the idiocy. You see, before the spammers hit, Indian users on the site had a certain reputation; there were a few that made some great contributions, but most either never posted, or when they did, they were broad, vague questions that would have taken readers hours or days to answer: "You will kindly tell me everything about the subject at hand please." That didn't stop. Recently, though, Indian users that I registered manually have sent the forum email address invitations to India social networking sites, and entered it into "refer a friend" forms on various Web sites. Whie those posting from other countries seem to have sme command of English, many Of those From the India please ,seem to knownot ,about thelanguage Or capitalization ,or the punctuate!!?

Strangely, I don't have these problems with those registering from other countries. In the United States, Indian-Americans are a model minority; generally middle-to-upper middle class, well educated, and entrepreneurial, and with great food to boot. Online, though ... seriously, what's the deal? This being a SDMB spinoff, I fully expect responses of "Well, on my message board, we get lots of Indians, they're the most intelligent, articulate users, and they never, ever post spam or send all the moderators Yaari invites for weeks on end."

[ivan astikov]

This being a SDMB spinoff, I fully expect responses of "Well, on my message board, we get lots of Indians, they're the most intelligent, articulate users, and they never, ever post spam or send all the moderators Yaari invites for weeks on end."

Well, I hope they get pointed in our direction then. I'd love to speak to some witty, intelligent Asians of any sort.

[Liberal]

All message board users from India

Dot, not feather.
Convenience store, not casino.
Tech support, not tomahawk.
You get the idea.

Woo hoo! The idiot white man still isn't sure where his little boats sailed!

[Boozahol Squid, P.I.]

When you've got a billion people, it doesn't take a high shithead per capita ratio to make an awful lot of shitheads.

[elmwood]

Well, I hope they get pointed in our direction then. I'd love to speak to some witty, intelligent Asians of any sort.

Word, and on my site, too. Every time I register someone from India, I keep thinking "I hope this one will contribute something new and interesting to the board."

[eventually...]

I remember several years ago when the medical office I was working at decided it would be a good idea to "outsource" all of our transcription. The MD's dictated their chart notes via telephone, and they were transcribed sent back to us via email from...(wait for it)...India. You can just imagine the nonsense. Lasted all of about 3 weeks.

[xash]

Haha. I be from the India. Please kindly not to make the funs. Thank you for the Thunderfucking. Come again. That what she say.

It's not that Indians can't speak English though. There are many Indians who speak, and write, impeccable English. And even though that may be a minority within the Indian population, a minority within a population of a billion is still a lot of people.

I'd say about 40% of Indians are functionally illiterate. English is spoken in all the big cities, but many rural areas speak the national or regional languages. Most public schools use national or regional languages as the medium of instruction, although that is changing in some parts of the country. Private schools use English as the medium of instruction. If you didn't study in a good private school (usually the privilege of children from affluent families), you learnt English only as a second language from teachers for whom English was probably a second language. Many of these people have access to the Internet, and create the gems you cited.

Hindi and English are the official languages of India. However, each state also has its own official language. Imagine if California and Nevada spoke entirely different languages, and whenever you travelled across the state border, you didn't understand the language there. Not only are the languages entirely different, but even their scripts are different. Welcome to India. India has 22 officially recognised languages. Depending on the source, India has from a few tens to a few hundred languages, and a few thousand dialects.

When I first came to the US, I had to re-learn English because we speak British English which is so different from American English in so many ways, it's not even funny. Even the exact same words have totally different meanings. For example, I was once telling my american friends a story about the time I used to live in an outhouse, and they looked at me with wtf expressions. When I asked why they reacted that way, I was informed of the American meaning of outhouse and we all had a good laugh. An outhouse in British English is kind of equivalent to a pool house in American English.

[Liberal]

Frankly, even within the US, there are words like that. Around here, for example, a toboggan is something you wear on your head. My wife, from Minnesota, still has a hard time adjusting to that one.

[Clayton_e]

Frankly, even within the US, there are words like that. Around here, for example, a toboggan is something you wear on your head. My wife, from Minnesota, still has a hard time adjusting to that one.

That must be a local dialect... Its a sled, right? One of the big wooden ones that guarantees death if you ride it. A hat? FAR Northern NY checking in. We get a lot of snow, so that may factor in.

[XJETGIRLX]

Frankly, even within the US, there are words like that. Around here, for example, a toboggan is something you wear on your head. My wife, from Minnesota, still has a hard time adjusting to that one.

That must be a local dialect... Its a sled, right? One of the big wooden ones that guarantees death if you ride it. A hat? FAR Northern NY checking in. We get a lot of snow, so that may factor in.

It was a hat to me before it ever was a sled, and I've lived all up and down the East coast, as well as Europe.

[Liberal]

Yep. I think Yankees call it a "ski cap". We've always called it a toboggan.

[Boozahol Squid, P.I.]

Yep. I think Yankees call it a "ski cap". We've always called it a toboggan.

Toboggan, ski cap, watch cap, stocking cap, toque... There's no single name for the thing, and everybody uses a different one. I think we should let the Yankees win on this one, Lib... they use 'em a lot more than we do.

[Liberal]

Yeah, that's all well and good, but if I go into the WalMart 3 miles away and ask for a toboggan, they're going to show me the clothing department, not sporting goods.

[jali]

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&r...boggan&spell=1

I googled the word toboggan and the link about was the result.

[Liberal]

If you add "south" to the word, you get stuff like this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toboggan_(hat)

[ivan astikov]

If you add "south" to the word, you get stuff like this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toboggan_(hat)

So, if 3 regions, or groups of people, refer to a toboggan as an item of headgear, that means we all should accept that as its definition?

Get outta here! As Boozahol Squid said, you've not exactly got a shortage of other names to use for an item you wear on your head.

[Liberal]

So, if 3 regions, or groups of people, refer to a toboggan as an item of headgear, that means we all should accept that as its definition?

I don't give a rat's ass how you refer to it.

That's not what "We've always called it a toboggan" means. It doesn't mean "All people everywhere should call it a toboggan." Goddamn, I hate when people fuck up a simple statement beyond all recognition, and then start harping on the statement they've made up.

[featherlou]

Hey, Liberal, tell them about leaving your shoes on in the house - we haven't done that yet on these brand new boards. :mrgreen:

(And for the record, hooded sweatshirts are called "bunnyhugs" in Saskatchewan.)

[ivan astikov]

So, if 3 regions, or groups of people, refer to a toboggan as an item of headgear, that means we all should accept that as its definition?

I don't give a rat's ass how you refer to it.

Good. You and your ilk insist you can wear a toboggan on your heads. I'll just continue to sit here and chuckle.

[Liberal]

Around here, "chuckle" means performing self-fellatio.

[WhyNot]

Around here, being flexible and or hung enough to perform self-fellatio means you'll be invited to stay the night! 8-)

[Boozahol Squid, P.I.]

Apparently ruthless hijacking is just as effective a way to deal with stupidly racist OPs as flaming the hell out of them.

Interesting to know.

[ShelliBean]

OK, now that we have all the Indian people here can I go over one thing? Thanks: please teach me how to make Indian food because as it stands I am going to have to move in to the Indian restaurant and I am spending all my money there! And I have to go all the way to Birmingham just to get it!!

And yes, I realize the enormity of what I am asking - like saying: please teach me to make American food. But still, if you are committed I think we can get this done with the minimum of weeping and asking god why you agreed to it on your part.

[hatesfreedom]

OK, now that we have all the Indian people here can I go over one thing? Thanks: please teach me how to make Indian food because as it stands I am going to have to move in to the Indian restaurant and I am spending all my money there! And I have to go all the way to Birmingham just to get it!!

And yes, I realize the enormity of what I am asking - like saying: please teach me to make American food. But still, if you are committed I think we can get this done with the minimum of weeping and asking god why you agreed to it on your part.

lost the ability to search on google did you?

[ShelliBean]

I have googled and allreciped and all that. I want one on one instruction.

All it's gonna cost you is a plane ticket.

[ivan astikov]

Around here, "chuckle" means performing self-fellatio.

* takes note *

Do you have any other words with bizarre alternative meanings that I need to be aware of?

[Malacandra]

Around here, "chuckle" means performing self-fellatio.

* takes note *

Do you have any other words with bizarre alternative meanings that I need to be aware of?

Yeah, in America "tea leaf" is something to do with a hot drink.

[Jamaika a jamaikaiaké]

When I first came to the US, I had to re-learn English because we speak British English which is so different from American English in so many ways, it's not even funny. Even the exact same words have totally different meanings. For example, I was once telling my american friends a story about the time I used to live in an outhouse, and they looked at me with wtf expressions. When I asked why they reacted that way, I was informed of the American meaning of outhouse and we all had a good laugh. An outhouse in British English is kind of equivalent to a pool house in American English.

I hate to nitpick, but Indians don't generally speak British English. They generally speak Indian English. While based on British English, Indian English is its own collection of dialects.

[Liberal]

I saw a thing on TV about the training of Indian customer service people. I think it was 60 minutes. Or something like that. But they were trained in both American and British English, and were supposed to take on whichever accent was appropriate to the caller.

As an example, one of the things they taught was the difference in "t" sounds inside words. They used the sentence, "Betty put a quarter in the meter."

For British, it was taught as "Bet-ty put-ta quart-ter in the meet-ter." Real hard-spitting "t" sounds.

For American, it was taught as "Beddy pudda quarder in the meeder."

Interesting stuff.

[rivulus]

(And for the record, hooded sweatshirts are called "bunnyhugs" in Saskatchewan.)

Having grown up in Saskatoon, you can imagine my amusement the first time I saw gangbangers in the 'hood of North St. Louis wearing bunnyhugs. Oooh, scary bunnyhug man -- and pull up your pants. (Not that I would EVER say that to someone. I value my life. But it does run through my mind.)

Back to the OP, sort of... I had to talk to a tech support guy from India about a glitch with my wireless (I admit, I was the one that screwed it up!). He was so patient with my bumbling around on my end as he had me try stuff. When the call was done, I thanked him quite sincerely. He sounded a little surprised.

OK, back to your curry, not pemmican, bashing.

[featherlou]

(And for the record, hooded sweatshirts are called "bunnyhugs" in Saskatchewan.)

Having grown up in Saskatoon, you can imagine my amusement the first time I saw gangbangers in the 'hood of North St. Louis wearing bunnyhugs. Oooh, scary bunnyhug man -- and pull up your pants. (Not that I would EVER say that to someone. I value my life. But it does run through my mind.)
<snip>

I think the world would be a kinder, gentler place if everyone called them bunnyhugs.

[BB Rodriguez]

OK, now that we have all the Indian people here can I go over one thing? Thanks: please teach me how to make Indian food because as it stands I am going to have to move in to the Indian restaurant and I am spending all my money there! And I have to go all the way to Birmingham just to get it!!

And yes, I realize the enormity of what I am asking - like saying: please teach me to make American food. But still, if you are committed I think we can get this done with the minimum of weeping and asking god why you agreed to it on your part.

If you want real Indian food, I can't help, but if you want the type of food served in Indian restauraunts in the US, here you go. You basically make a puree of onion, garlic, and ginger (which freezes well), and use it as a base for all kinds of curry.

[ShelliBean]

Hmmm, having never been to India I assumed that what I got at the local Indian place (ahem, 3 hours away) was real. But I guess it would make sense that the same thing has happened to Indian food as Chinese, Italian, whatever.

Thanks for the link!! I have bookmarked it and probably buy soon.

Now, to search real Indian food so I can compare...

[ivan astikov]

Is Korma a typical Indian dish or has it been adapted to suit the British palate?

[BellRungSnufflupagus]

As an example, one of the things they taught was the difference in "t" sounds inside words. They used the sentence, "Betty put a quarter in the meter."

For British, it was taught as "Bet-ty put-ta quart-ter in the meet-ter." Real hard-spitting "t" sounds.

For American, it was taught as "Beddy pudda quarder in the meeder."

Yeah, Americans change t's into d's, but Brits tend to drop r's.

Betty put a kwoah-teh in the meeh-teh.

[Harlequin]

Yeah, Americans change t's into d's, but Brits tend to drop r's.

Betty put a kwoah-teh in the meeh-teh.

Some British dialects skip the t's too. Be'y pu' a kwoah-eh in the meeh-eh.

[BB Rodriguez]

Hmmm, having never been to India I assumed that what I got at the local Indian place (ahem, 3 hours away) was real. But I guess it would make sense that the same thing has happened to Indian food as Chinese, Italian, whatever.

I've never had any Indian food outside of the US either (Sorry Ivan, I don't even know if your Korma is the same as our Korma). All I know is I bought a ton of Indian cookbooks, and only the one above had the main dishes that I recognised from Indian restauraunts here. None of the other cookbooks had anything similar. I'm assuming they don't really eat the stuff we get here on a regular basis, or they'd be freaking huge!