The next person to post in this thread...

[Elendil's Heir]

Hmm, not by name, but there had to be plenty of people like that in Nawlins and vicinity since the Louisiana Purchase was completed.

TNP has been to New Orleans in the past year.

[Jizzelbin]

Nope. Surprisingly, never been. All the music is from there.

[Good point about Cajuns/Acadians....but the correct answers are Jack Kerouac and William F. Buckley ]

TNP has found himself or herself somewhat recently in the awkward position of having to explain to a sole proprietor that one was charged double for certain invoiced items, in a number significant enough to matter.

[Elendil's Heir]

Hmm, no, that hasn't come up. I did recently get a refund for a ticket to a political event, though, when the organizer noticed I'd already bought another one awhile back.

TNP is reading a damn good book these days.

[Jizzelbin]

Yeah. It's on interlibrary loan, but it's a dense mofo. I think I might pony up the sixty or seventy bucks and get my own copy. Because I don't much cotton to reading on somebody else's schedule.

TNP has recently recommended a book (whatever that might be) to someone when prompted. And TNP didn't have to think too long before giving a genial response.

[Elendil's Heir]

Yes, twice, actually. I recommended Gary Jennings's Aztec to a friend who wanted to read a good historical novel (it's my favorite in the genre), and David Hackett Fischer's Washington's Crossing to another who wanted to read a good book on the American Revolution (and IMHO it's one of the best).

TNP has read either of those books.

(And just what are you reading these days, Jizz?)

[Jizzelbin]

No. Actually no, never even heard of. And it is getting to be about that season. Gracias, tío!

[Edw. Baring, Converts to the Real. Catholicism and the Making of Continental Philosophy. 2019 Cambridge: HUP. And, apparently, the 1961 revision of the Roman Breviary. And some other stuff.]

TNP can and will name somebody with an improbable name. No, nothing too personal, but for example, I know a bartender whose name is "Minnie," as in like the mouse or whatever. Something like that.

[Elendil's Heir]

My wife once tutored a little girl with the name Silver Anne Gold. I kid you not. What parent would do that to a child?!?

TNP has the perfect first and middle name for his or her imaginary next child, and will share it with us.

[Jizzelbin]

Gaylord Johnson _______

[I'm in no hurry to plant my seed....as long as I can get it up, I can trick some gal into bearing my child....my masculine child! Although I love that...."Silver Anne Gold"....cute!]

TNP is still following the MLB boys of summer, or is more than ready for some football!

[Elendil's Heir]

I much prefer baseball to football, so I'm no particular hurry for the summer to end.

TNP has a fun vacation trip coming up.

[Jizzelbin]

No. Maybe. Don't remember.

TNP would find it amusing to watch a video of RFK, Jr being raped to death in a toilet. Hey, "he" and "our" people are actively trying to exterminate people by the bushel, and succeeding, so it's no great loss.

Also, TNP has zero sympathy for mass murderers like RFK, Jr., and people who defend that kind of animal. Fuck 'em.

[Elendil's Heir]

As much as I hate the guy, and as much harm as he's doing the nation and its public health, I could never wish that on him. So no.

TNP is wearing uncomfortable shoes right now.

[Jizzelbin]

Yeah, kinda. These LL Bean suede loafers that do double duty as my house shoes and occasionally if I want to run up to the grocery store. They're well made and have held up fine over a number of years....even put my trademark Spenco Support Max insoles in them....but they're just not the most comfortable shoes on the planet.

They have the convenience of loafers/slip-ons, but not the firm embrace of laced shoes. For that matter, I don't particularly enjoy wearing my black Chelsea boots with a suit....they fit, and have also my own insoles in them....but kind of a hassle to put on and off and the toe box is not very roomy.

TNP will decide which shoe-style reigns supreme: (i) slip-on (ii) trad laces (iii) lock-lace system (iv) velcro (v) hippie barefoot and pregnant (v) Spartacus-style leather straps up to the knee.

[Elendil's Heir]

For dress shoes, I've been wearing slip-ons for several years now. Very convenient and quick to put them on or take them off. For sneakers, I still have lace-ups. I've never worn Spartacus-style laced sandals! A distinctive look, no doubt, but just not my style.

TNP has an ink stain on at least one finger right now.

[Jizzelbin]

Actually, yes. I had to emend this document with a felt-tip pen earlier this day.....almost disappeared by now, by the agitating power of friction and use (ahem....don't say that!).

TNP doesn't give a damn about if the "letters of transit" signed by Gen. Weygand in Casablanca existed IRL or not — i.e., whether such instruments existed or not — but still finds the relevant film to be amusing and worthwhile.

[Elendil's Heir]

Oh, definitely! In fact, it's my all-time favorite movie, despite its plot holes. The others in my Top Five, at the moment, include Breaker Morant, Star Wars, Raiders of the Lost Ark and The Incredibles. Ask me again next week, and the list might have changed a bit.

TNP will now share his or her Top Five favorite movies.

[Jizzelbin]

Well.....you've only been talking up Breaker Morant for the past over ten years...pretty sure that stays on your list!

Oh, me, top five? Tough one. Citizen Kane, Pee Wee's Big Adventure, The Hustler (get your mind out of the gutter! the movie, not the magazine!)). Gone in 60 Seconds and....I don't know....The Color of Money.

Kind of a random list, but first thought, best thought!

TNP has ever had to just break it off (once or multiple times) with a gal, just because of irreconcilable personality differences. And a follow-up TNP: is there a word for a 49 year old woman who just....is in a state of arrested development? For guys, the go-to is "man-child," I guess. Never heard of a similar slang for a gal, though.

[Elendil's Heir]

Thanks for your movie list, Jizz!

No, haven't had to break it off with a gal for that reason, fortunately. Dunno what the word would be for a woman like that. Hmm. "Bimbo" or "ditz," maybe?

TNP has a ditz in the family.

[Jizzelbin]

Meh....I don't want to pick on any of my nephews....so I'll go with my godfather/maternal uncle. He's pretty much a dumbass, but with an astonishing memory. I don't know how he's still alive, since he's so stupid he'd forget to breathe without an instruction manual.

TNP can explain why someone would pay, for example, an attorney or an accountant a retention fee/"retainer" if one did not wish to secure future services. Seems like something people do to make themselves sound fancy. Like flashing a c-note at a Maître-D to get a swell table.

[Elendil's Heir]

Yes, sometimes there's an element of conspicuous consumption involved. Some people simply expect they're going to often need a good lawyer, however, and consider it a way to keep that particular lawyer "on tap." Don't know if anyone does that with accountants.

TNP knows at least three accountants.

[Jizzelbin]

Sure. I don't know if the CPA exam is at the level of a state bar exam, but by all accounts (errr...ahem) it's a pretty rough old boy of a trial.

TNP does not see the connection between cobwebs in the corners of one's ceilings and spider webs. Not that there's anything wrong with that!

[Elendil's Heir]

Uh... cobwebs are just abandoned, decaying spider webs, aren't they?

TNP has been to a comedy show in the past week.

[Jizzelbin]

Well, if by "comedy show" you mean observing the hilarious effects of telling your woman you like her "fat ass"....then...sure....kind of funny. Sort of a subversive comedy show, I guess. So subversive it's about as funny as Lenny Bruce's "Dracula" impression.

(No, I don't see any connection between cobwebs and spider webs....but seems to be a popular misconception).

TNP gets regularly schooled by a woman of one's contemporary age at certain games/sports, and doesn't mind it a bit.

[Elendil's Heir]

I've certainly seen some talented women athletes, but none has ever schooled me. Maybe because I so seldom play competitive athletics.

TNP will be in New York City before the end of the year.

[Jizzelbin]

Likely not. Haven't been back there in a long while, and don't have a reason to especially.

TNP thinks it would be a good idea to hire a process server to deliver a letter to an ex-girlfriend. Or at least it would be funny, TNP thinks.

[Elendil's Heir]

Depending on her sense of humor, sure! Might not be worth the expense, though.

TNP is listening to a good audiobook these days.

[Jizzelbin]

Sure. I'm gonna go ahead and include "the voices in my head" as an audiobook! No, I just received Willie Mosconi's autobiography today in regular book form (of course written by a "co-author" but on the basis of recorded interviews.....Mosconi [as far as I'm concerned] still holds the highest verified record of high runs in 14.1/Straight [s]pool[/s] pocket billiards, which was his game).

TNP thinks the little motto of Irish author Joyce, namely, "silence, exile, and cunning" can and should be applied to many different scenarios. TNP is encouraged to provide an example, but is not enjoined to do so.

[Elendil's Heir]

As an approach to life, that seems well-suited to someone living under a dictatorship. May it never be so here!

TNP has eaten a grape in the past 48 hours.

[Jizzelbin]

Well, no. I've certainly thought about grapes since you mentioned it.

TNP has ever picked grapes off the vine for one's private uses.

[Elendil's Heir]

Hmm, no, I don't think I have.

TNP thinks drinking wine is the best means of grape consumption.

[Jizzelbin]

Sure. It's among the top three uses, for sure, including fresh, and unfermented grape juice.

TNP has ever said to somebody "I want more life, fucker," in full confidence that that was the correct phrase from the correct version of a correct film for the moment.

[Elendil's Heir]

I get and appreciate the Blade Runner reference, of course, but no, I've never had occasion to utter those memorable words myself.

TNP was rooting for Roy Batty all along.

[Jizzelbin]

Mmmmmm........well not until Roy delivered his speech about tears in the rain. So, I guess not from the very beginning, but Roy Batty was very convincing toward the end of the film.

TNP has at present a wristwatch with a calculator-style keypad. And bonus TNP, if one does, one would not be unhappy if a woman friend took it as a trophy, because good luck trying to silence the various alarms one programmed into it....not very intuitive devices, those. IIRC the manual for one of them is about four-hundred pages long.

[Elendil's Heir]

I have several wristwatches in my desk drawer, but haven't worn them in years. None have a calculator-style keypad. When I need to find out the time, I look at my phone, or at a wall or computer clock, which are usually close by.

TNP will be traveling out of the country by the end of the year.

[Jizzelbin]

No. If I were, I'd have to get one of those "Real"IDs or renew my passport. Neither of which I'm in any hurry to do. Anyway, because of a dismissed DUII (dismissed means no conviction) I'm not allowed legally to enter Canada, and Mexico is too bright and sunny, and France is a hassle to fly to.

TNP has the spendthrift notion that if one spends a bunch of money on dumb shit (unexpected dental OOP fees, body repair on a car, etc.) one should probably "invest" about the same amount into pleasure items....musical instruments, firearms, clothes, whatever.

[Elendil's Heir]

As long as you're still able to pay for necessities and don't go too badly into debt, sure, why not?

TNP has his or her eye on something big for Christmas.

[Jizzelbin]

Not really. It's been a pretty lean year, as far as my finances go — a lot of expenses and ins and outs and what-have-yous — so I'm just hoping to ride out the year in one piece and start the new year looking forward to filing federal and state taxes....that will be...interesting and exciting.

TNP is heading out to the countryside for a day or so sometime soon...and if so is looking forward to getting out of the city/suburbs for a bit.

[Trojan Man]

I probably should. Just take my guitar, pen and paper, and some food and water and go wild for a day. There's a mountain nearby that's pretty remote, and so is around the base of the mountain. Some good bush tucker around there too.

TNP likes mayonnaise.

[Jizzelbin]

Hmmmm......I don't mind making mayonnaise, but in most applications I find it to be too heavily applied. But, yeah, it's a good sauce used appropriately.

TNP, if headed out into the country, will choose and state being the preferred instrument (i) a guitar in a gunny sack (ii) a nice acoustic in a hard case (ii) one of those mini backpacker-style guitars (iv) just a strat/tele with or without a little battery operated preamp. Oh, and (v) other.

[Trojan Man]

Either an acoustic with no case (strapped over my shoulder), or a ukulele. I'd like a portable mini-guitar but can't afford it. But now I have to decide which acoustic to take, because they're all in different tunings. If I take one in a strange tuning, it MIGHT unlock a creative portal. Or it might not. If I take my one in standard tuning, it MIGHT allow for a more focused writing session. Or it might not. Being a creative person is FUUUUUUUUUUUN!

TNP prefers mayonnaise to aioli.

[Jizzelbin]

Oh, no. Garlic has antiseptic properties or something (probably not, but it tastes good).

TNP has a little field recorder (say, something on the order of a Tascam DR-40x or something like that) and maybe a small microphone or so that can be very handy for capturing wild sound or little ideas and such.

[Trojan Man]

I just record things on my phone. If I could get some peace and quiet at home, I could multi-track things in Audacity, but that's not going to be possible soon. So I just record on my phone and remove as much of the background noise as possible.

TNP prefers mayonnaise to custard.

[Jizzelbin]

Neither. Just not a big fan of the creamier sauces and confections. I like it hard and crunchy, just like I like my women.

Tell the truth: is TNP a shortstop or better at playing pool? And bonus points: pool (various games) vs snooker.

[Trojan Man]

No idea what you mean by "shortstop" - I thought that was a beisbol term? I used to be fairly good. I played a few seasons competitively. Haven't played for years, though. I can't fucking stand snooker.

TNP prefers mayonnaise to mustard.

[Jizzelbin]

ZOMG you and your mayonnaise! No, I prefer mustard. Preferably Colman's.

[Oh,"shortstop" in pool is just a common slang for someone who is kind of in the middle of the pack in terms of skills....not a run-out player, very few multi-packs put together....It kind of goes with the equally informal "ratings" of A, B, C, etc. players.

Not as solid as what's called one's Fargo rating, but just common shorthand for a rough idea of a player's speed.]

TNP would be pretty royally pissed off if a woman one just spent hours and hours shagging not two days ago greeted one at a drinking establishment with a muttered desultory "Whaddup {name}?" without even breaking stride.

Bonus TNP: if one were in such a situation, probably the best play would be to pretend as though one didn't hear her or just ignore her.

[Trojan Man]

I would treat her like a $2 whore, because that's what she's acting like.

TNP prefers mayonnaise to the contents of a dead dog's anus.

[Jizzelbin]

Well...sure. I've not had the pleasure of eating a dead dog's anus. So, mayonnaise wins by default. Final answer? Yep.

TNP considers himself or herself an optimist when it comes to "romantic" (whatever that means) relationships: even after one throws in the towel and says "OK, honey, we're done here," TNP can be convinced to give it one more chance, despite all odds and past experience.

[Trojan Man]

No. I'mvvery patient with people until I'm not. If someone pisses all over any kindness I give them, for long enough, I cut the cord and move on.

TNP prefers mayonnaise to pickle juice.

[Elendil's Heir]

No, I actually like to slurp a little pickle juice now and then. Salty, spicy (I like kosher dill pickles) and bracing.

TNP is a barbarian like me, and prefers Miracle Whip to mayonnaise.

[Trojan Man]

Never tried Miracle Whip, so I can't say.

TNP prefers mayonnaise to ketchup.

[Jizzelbin]

I prefer a hot load of baby batter to either. Right in the face. Meh, truthfully, he says, either are good on a burger, provided the right amount is applied. Not both at the same time, though....either/or.

There are likely support groups devoted to the overly zealous mayonnaise enthusiasts....perhaps one might be right for someone in your life!

So the answer is "no": I like both sauces equally.

TNP thinks it can be amusing to send letter(s) to friends or enemies by printing out address labels and return-address labels (with a fake name and location), putting them on an envelope, and sending them via post. Bonus points if TNP has done so.