The funny RL observations and anecdotes thread RPG omnibus

[Jizzelbin]

That's no good. What kind of person up and says to themselves -- "yep, it's windy enough....let's get the paint out! maybe clean the asbestos out of the carport, too."

I hope you learned your lesson. painting in strong wind. not good.

And that's a "hobby"? Painting exterior walls? No, a hobby is like hunting with a crossbow or bird-dogging split-tails at the pool hall or maybe knitting doggie sweaters and making monkey socks.

Oh yeah, so why I came in here was I just now saw this woman who, when she decided to walk in front of me, is like almost exactly my height (6-2.5, 6-3, I don't know). What was freaky is she had a feminine face, unlike most of the ueber gorillas amazons you see in the sports. Blue-splattered hair, too, I guess, so you know she's a freak.

I found her height utterly repellent. Like, what the hell would I do with that? It'd be like .......... weird, like doing it with myself or something.

And that's your news for the day. fuckers.

[Rube E. Tewesday]

You lack imagination, jizzlebuddy. Amongst the dazzling smorgasbord of Woman, why restrict yourself to mashed potatoes?

[Jizzelbin]

So women of appropriate size are mashers? Besides, those are the only ones you can really do something with. This one would have been like lifting an anvil or three. I bet she gets a lot of attention from little guys who have some kind of fetish, though. Probably why the blue hair.

Oh yeah, so yesterday a friend texted me that I was a "disgusting animal." And some girls around midnight when I was coming home said "nerd!!!" out the window of their car. That merits a flip-off and "faahhhhh q," even if half-heartedly. But it was dark and I think they might have been drinking.

And also, I'm pretty sure jeans are designed to make women's butts look amazing -- they're like butt-bras. Cause you know those spandex -- that can be OK, but, not especially *flattering* as such. More a natural, hippie look. Trust me, I know now.

[Jizzelbin]

Weird. So walking out of one of the labs, and some pretty nice looking bitch passed me in the hall and stared right at my bulge (ok, lump, ok, walnut, whatever). Pants are not tight, and not revealing -- kind of canvas or denim work pants. And not even dirty or stained in the crotch, unlike some pants I could name (that one pair of Dockers -- FUCK YOU ARE A WHORE WHERE DID THE CROTCH STAIN COME FROM????????).

And she was probably a real person, like a secretary or a TA, because she wasn't dressed like undergraduate filth.

So, fine, whatever, I don't blame her one bit.

But what's weird is a few minutes later, walking down the street, shades on, just walking, as you do, some dude who had a real homosexual look to him stared right at my face and said "smack!" with a nice smile. Which is cool -- again, I can hardly blame him. Only thing I could come up with was a really lame "nigger" said laconically, and he probably couldn't hear.

WTF? Is it like mating season or something? I'm dressed pretty normal -- sneakers, clean pants, even clean shorts and somewhat clean socks, clean T shirt, clean bowling shirt, clean athletic track jacket (I guess is what you call it). Am I having a good hair day? That one assneck dude couldn't even see my eyes, so couldn't blame it on my crazy out-of-focus eyes.

Fucking weird. And am at a park now so can't even jerk off, really. Well, maybe a little. No, hot Nubian classy chick sitting next to me (I was here first!), not going to do it. Caught myself before I muttered "white nigger" to some panhandlers giving me the business. I am a saint of race relations. Believe it.

[Jizzelbin]

Oh what is this fucking bullshit? A bunch of morons on some bikes doing some bullshit, after the three busloads of assnecked children I thought I was free of, but that's fine, two speds in orange vests marked "PARK HOST." And they checked some of the rose plants and didn't even say anything to me about my pipe smoking? I was really hoping, not to be rude or angry, but just to say, should they have complained, "So what?" or "What are you going to do about it?" I had those lines all ready. Oh they are back....

And I only had to flip off one of those kids. His little buddy turned around and looked at me for longer than appropriate, then his assneck buddy did, so he got the finger.

It does smell like fish over here -- I'm just guessing that they put some fertilizer on the shrubs recently, maybe. It's not me. One of the girls (I don't know....they were 12 maybe?) said "Ew, it smells like fish here!"

As a gentleman I did NOT say "It's you," but I was tempted. Because that tone of voice is sooooo irritating. "Ew, ermagherd, it smellz like FISH!"

Oh, now there's like three of the vests, and probably their boss in a khaki shirt.

The really pinched-mean looking 40-something bitch looked directly at me from their little cabal, and apparently enjoined another vest to look at me. Since I happened to have been looking that way already, I continued, pipe hanging out of my mouth, until finally I had enough and did the index finger across the throat gesture and put in my earplugs.

oh classy, "There was a big black guy standing by the door" one of those cunts said. fucking white bitches. do they not know there is an urban lady sitting right next to me? white bitches.

[Jizzelbin]

OK, so they have a new thing. They have little trash bags and are having their hen party picking up imaginary pieces of trash. There's one lisping dude, and another little dude, so I guess they are hens for this purpose of my communication.

What a bunch of fucking weirdos.

And my nubian lady sneezed and I got to say "Gezundheit." Don't think she heard, but I bet she heard me mumble something and her body language signalled that she approved.

[Jizzelbin]

Blondie walking by, a couple of white dudes said jovially "Hi, beautiful!" Like how you do. Finally, a woman responds like a regular person -- kept walking, and even gave a nice smile as a gift to them. And to me. I turned, I saw, I have that be-jeaned ass in the spank bank long time. Nice lady.

[Jizzelbin]

So those "Park Hosts" gang of jackasses walked by my little white gang of....now....four. I think one is a tranny dude, and one is a black dude, and one is a skinny-assed white nerd, so now it's multiculti. Oh yeah, so the head bitch said something...earplugs, and the leader of the tranny gang said like "I have OCD, so like....something I couldn't hear." white bitch was like "Well, you know OCD is good for picking stuff up!" in a pleasant way. Dude said loudly "I ain't picking up shit!" The white squad walk away, and I give them the finger behind their back.

The rock and roller "I'm going to be lead singer in rock and make 185,000 a year" (oddly specific) is appropriately amused. "Hey he's right!" "Hey I love that Sherlock pipe you got!" I give the jerking off motion to the squad again behind their backs. "Yes! Hey you watching porn over there?" Jerking off motion. "Yeah!"

My kind of people.

[Jizzelbin]

Oh yeah, I think one of the white gang did see me flip them off, but apparently they haven't been informed of the concept of "fighting words," so they suck and I rule! Flip them white bitches off and ten more just like them.

White bitch laughing like a harpie pushing a baby stroller, probably joking about the multiculti crew. She got a nice belch and....I can't remember what, if anything I said. Probably "white bitch," since that was what I was writing/aka "thinking" about.

[Jizzelbin]

hdear: where to begin.

low-hanging fruit, I guess.

I have no idea why I deliberately insulted this woman when I was grabbing a bench and a sit-down -- I wasn't that mean, she was just all like "eh bleh look at me tell me i am special!" so natch was just "nice outfit!" and that's all I said. Oh, I did audibly chortle when she was about eight feet and a few seconds later. And I might have accidentally said aftr I was done laughing "hilarious," as sarcastically as possible.

But she in her body language did seem kind of deflated.

So that wasn't very nice of me. I wasn't wrong, because she was all being proud and shit, but I am not feeling good about having apparently made her feel self-conscious.


Actually, I feel pretty shitty about that, but there's not anything can be done now.

But I did a good thing this AM, when apparently after a fifth of whiskey I saw my bad influence boxing buddy and really jacked my hand by for some reason by just wailing on this 4x4 structural beam. So upshot is I can't really put my hand in FRONT POCKET thanks very much that is the only place a wallet goes George Costanza, and this nice looking, young, kind of chubby, but still nice and pretty nubian princess, accidentally did the fingertip "go ahead" because my hand was stuck trying to get my wallet, and it's totally gay to do the whle "after you milady! please! i insist!" ugh i hate that it is very awkward when people do that, but they don't know any better so smile and whatever.

Oh and the brilliant coup (by me) was apparently I am such a dumbass I lost my new pipe last night drunkenly fighting my Choctaw buddy. BUT I FOUND IT IN THE GROUP HOME THIS AM AND BUDGETED EXTRA TIME TO LOOK FOR IT!
God damned, I am the fucking man. I win!

[Jizzelbin]

And that is an object lesson in why the default should just be a cheerful, non-threatening, "looking good, mama!"

[Jizzelbin]

TNP has said multiple times "Looking good, mama!" and everything is fine, and people like to be complimented, because whatever. Big difference between being some like these ladies have whatever boyfriends, just like, hey mama, looking good. 100% of the time since the sun came out in PNW of the US, people be like, "Yeah, you know it!"

Life is good when the hen weather is good enough.

[Jizzelbin]

Oh yeah, so here's one that made me kind of irritated. Not surprised, mind you -- I'm fully aware of how depraved and uncivilized people can be, and have come to expect it.

Yeah, so heading back in to the library to finish scanning pages from *The Great Gig Book* (lots of novelty tunes, polkas, xmas tunes, that kind of stuff which is handy to refresh yr memory) and thought, eh, I haven't had my morning bowl yet.

So sit down on an bench in the public park right in front, and some slowbones appeared to be doing some kind of interview with some person in a dress shirt ("Well, I travelled a lot.....I've been to Costa Rica, and.............Switzerland......and, just you know," etc. some kind of moronic bullshit). "Erm, hi, do you think you could smoke downwind of us?"

Stood up, adjusted my shades with the middle finger -- not too obvious, but, you know, out of principle -- sat down after sighing audibly.

"Thank you so much!" She addresses her baby on her lap, "That man has a cool pipe!" "Thank you again"

Dead eye stare after taking my sunglasses off and shaking my head slowly.

I wish I had the balls to blow a nice cloud of smoke in her direction.

What the hell kind of person is this piece of garbage? Go inside, bitch, and please drop your babby in a wood chipper -- the world is richer when you are saddened, you stupid cow in violation of all rules of polite society.

[Jizzelbin]

Hey those differently-abled types put that piano back on the street corner.

Finally got to play it this time.

Unfortunately, I was so excited I sounded like one of those people playing fragments of everything they had on the "current" pile.

Started with "Parisian Thoroughfare" with a couple of improvised choruses, in the bebop style, and ended with "Right Place, Wrong Time," so at least I had a theme I was going for, vaguely. But in between since I have been getting back into this, little bits of "Memories of Professor Longhair" I partly transcribed off the record and a few other things classical just to test out what it could do -- fast runs, a little of the B minor Bagatelle Op. 126, whatever, a little "Cherokee."

No one was around so just tested the piano and happily bookended it with two good thematically-cogent tunes. Don't know what to play to improvise on "Right Place" except just the part (well, close enough) Dr John did on the record. Can never remember all the parts of that tune, either, just the basic riff and the basic rhythm parts.

Kind of nice. The sustain pedal was not really working that great,

[Jizzelbin]

What. In. The. Fuck.

Yeah I'm no mandarin, I watch all kinds of bullshit, but I have seen the TV for the past few hours.

blah blah Craig Ferguson doing whatever. some shtick for morons.

and now the real treat, Kathy Lee and Hoda?

They are pretty good working as a team.

Who is it who watches or participates without irony?

IOW it's a NY show for white people.

[Jizzelbin]

To quote the noted thespian Annie Potts in her role in *Ghostbusters* -- we've got one!

Holy fucking shit. So I came home last night -- it was still light out, and one of my shitbag neighbors was fucking fixing his fucking BIKE in my carport. So, naturally, I said "I need you to move this trash out of my parking spot." A few minutes later I brought a broken rocking chair that TBH I was never going to fix (not my thing) and repeated my statement, blocking his egress.

This fucking nurd had the gall to say, verbatim "What does it feel like being such an asshole?"

And, verbatim, for once I had a good reply: "It feels good. It's what makes the world go around."

Fucking what a turd. Of course I spoiled my Noel Coward-like wit by muttering, as I went back inside, "stupid fucking faggot hippie," but we can't all be perfect.

[Rube E. Tewesday]

Was there any particular reason he couldn't be fixing his stuff in his own place?

[Jizzelbin]

I have no fucking idea. These morons have their own carport stuffed with like four under-powered motorcycles and a bunch of fixing crap, which is against CC&R (the fixing crap), but I've generally been just zen with them revving up their little scooters to try to get up the hill. No skin off my teeth, really -- I don't give a shit what happens outside my door unless it bothers me.

But, and maybe this is my flaw, but I don't think so, I go absolutely apeshit when people use my property without my permission. Some cunt realtor mistakenly (apparently) used my carport or directed her client to use my carport -- I put a bunch of empty coffee cans made of aluminum and glass behind his or her tires. My new downstairsnikeh used my spot apparently by accident, so I told her straight-up, verbatim "You need to move this car, now" And a few weeks later, some guest of hers made the same mistake, so I taped a note to their car which said, "You are welcome to offer me payment to use this spot.'

So, apparently, I am a raging asshole, but I don't think I'm wrong -- don't put your shit on someone else's property. You just don't do it. It's antisocial, it's potentially felonious, and I'll say or do whatever the fuck I feel like, within the limits of the law, regardless of what some little hipster twink or some moron realtor or whatever thinks.

My downstairsnikeh got the picture fast -- maybe she thinks I'm a psycho, or whatever, but she doesn't put shit on my property anymore.

[Jizzelbin]

So new question: do I have too much balls or not enough brains?

Probably both.

eta or neither, let's be fair!

[Jizzelbin]

Have decided. I have way too much balls, way too few muscles to back it up, and just an average amount of brains. So what? Just the way it is.

[Jizzelbin]

Well, my sexegenarian buddy came out while I was on the balcony at the clubhouse, offered me a Milano cookie and just was chatting -- he had just heard a 1948 Furtwangler version of Zauberflote and he was all excited about it. He's an owner up here, and so we got to reminiscing about favorite performances and various conductors with embroiled pasts.

Then some dude from the board came out to ask if we were going to vote on this new thing tomorrow -- I said I'd have to think about it, and they two started chatting. Man, this cat was really adamant that I either come vote tomorrow or sign a proxy for someone else to vote. Some heavy shit going on.

He left, so I started back up my pipe (technically not allowed here, smoking, but no one cares except for some law-and-order types) so me and my buddy resumed chatting.

Eventually I relayed my displeasure at my little motorscooter assholes, since we were talking about the proposed vote on ratio of renters to owners, and man, this cat is cool as can be, and he had a string of stories about asshole neighbors -- some here, some elsewhere. he seemed to suggest I report them, but I'm like, "man, i know, but i'd rather handle it myself....besides, i'm sure they have plenty to complain about me..."

He insisted when I said, "i'm only 38, but i'm really getting cranky," "it's only going to get worse."

Earlier tonight, on more pleasant note, he let me hear some of a ballet he'd composed back in 1990 through his Sony MD-1 headphones -- those are some sweet cans. $300 supposedly. He seemed to have some ideas about directional linear copper wire that .... I kept silent.

That short little gay old motherfucker knows his music, though. It truly is a pleasure to have a relaxing few minutes conversing with someone who doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, and who just likes art and talking about it.

[Jizzelbin]

Oh and interesting:

I picked up a sportcoat I hadn't worn for a few weeks. It was like digging for treasure in one of the side pockets -- first, some shreds of an empty box of triscuits. Wait, it gets better. then a whole handful of crackers. then a few pieces of salami.

I disgust myself! and others!

[Rube E. Tewesday]

Well, as long as that story didn't end with "Score!"

[Jizzelbin]

Debussy's first name was Achilles! (well, Achille-Claude, but same thing) I rule! eta I was further off on death of Debussy than my little friend, but we were both wrong! But he started it!

[Jizzelbin]

Actually, I kind of was like -- "Dude! I haven't had triscuits and salami in a long time!"

So yes, I put the remains on my (clean I hope) cutting board in my kitchen and thought..............you don't want to know what I thought.

Oh yeah, if I find a hungry racoon I can give throw it off the balcony.

That's the ticket,

and no you fucking ritardandi, I don't live in a group home, i have my own balcony several hundred meters from the clubhouse -- i just am not going to pay for wifi when i pay my association a shitload every month for access up here

[Jizzelbin]

I don't think I gave the right idea about my little buddy here -- he's not some counter-culture freak. He looks like any other person, except with expensive casual/sportclothes+shoes+grooming. Just a regular guy who happens to enjoy talking.

Mon semblable!

eta he looks like a retired banker -- well-groomed, in good clothes, just enjoying his neighborhood -- and you only see him every so often, not like someone who "hangs out" all the damm time.

[Rube E. Tewesday]

Nice to know someone like that.

[Jizzelbin]

I'll say -- most people I know that age are either batshit crazy or don't give a shit about the stuff I care about

[Jizzelbin]

And, yes, I ate the triscuits and salami. Wasn't that bad! Good little snack. Except now I have all these damned crumbs in my pocket. Honestly, I'm probably not going to worry about that unless I get way, way, way too bored.

[Jizzelbin]

Speaking of bored (oh shit that .... wait for it) -- I had a few minutes yesterday to go to the tobacconist to grab a new pipe tool (keep losing them -- it's like a bike tool except for non-frittatas -- they're all the same but life sucks pretty much if you smoke a pipe without one), so the skateboarder punk grabbed me one -- he actually held it up fifteen feet away from me and asked "this?" You fucking moron, they're all the same. And then I asked another question, about changing the stem on my current briar, and as he was clearly out of his element, he called over this dude -- he might be the owner. Older guy, friendly, and *especially* friendly to people I assume he can tell aren't just hipster twinks looking to try a pipe as a new fashion accessory.

That dude was awesome.

I showed him my current briar, expressed my dissatisfaction with the stem, we agreed I'm pretty much stuck with it, I asked if it was bad that I sanded off the varnish (he was non-committal), and then we got to the question of reaming. He brought out a small 4x6 case -- like a socket-rachet type thing -- and I was like "*that*'s a reamer? that looks complicated!" That old motherfucker, after we were talking about thickness of cake and optimal frequency of reaming, took my pipe, was disgusted that I didn't have an empty bowl, but after I told him, yeah, I hadn't smoked that in probably a day, CLEANED out the crud into a trash bin, took it back somewhere, and brought it back to me about five minutes later, fully reamed.

Jesus fucking christ. See? That's somebody who knows if you're in a service business, you give a little, you get a customer for life.

Contrast that to that stupid punk who, when I rang out with the cheap little pipe tool, some primo pipe cleaners, and a few pouches of tobacco, and I said, "Hey, I'm not sure about this little pipe (I picked out a little cheap throwaway pipe after the old man and I looked and talked about cobs)" had the balls to say to me, "just don't put your mouth on the mouthpiece."

That little shit deserves to have the shit kicked out of him -- little stupid hippie faggot moron twink moron idiot.

So it all comes down to -- where do these people come from? Are they WVhill people? Why would anyone who cared about their business get involved with people like that?

Well, I guess that says more about me than anything -- I started out pleasantly surprised, and turned a corner into negativity.

[Rube E. Tewesday]

It 's always a treat to find someone who knows their craft.

[Jizzelbin]

Yeah, it is, but it is doubly-depressing to find someone who (i) doesn't seem interested in their craft (ii) isn't good at it (iii) and is borderline sociopathic in being rude to the very reason they are apprenticed to a craft.

Maybe that's a bit much, but if you're going to be a cashier at a small tobacco store, maybe not be such a little bitch. Hey, it's his life, whatever, but don't be complaining to me when I accidentally forget to tell you there's a bus coming when you step off the curb,

[Jizzelbin]

OK, fine, by instinct I would try to warn him, or at least administer aid after his "unfortunate accident."

[Jizzelbin]

I decided to come up to my condo clubhouse after a few days of not having been downtown, and eventually found there was some older guy just working the steel on a double-bass (you know, a jazz-style one -- I guess those are 3/4 size. whatever, a stand-up bass). He was just going to town. He used the room where we have our board meetings -- I assume because of acoustics or his wife/gf kicked him out or something.

Pretty good -- he was going for like an hour, doing some tunes I didn't recognize (obviously improvising, but, you know, you normally can tell what the harmonic structure is, if ur listening).

After a while I was like, "fuck, let's see what the room sounds like!" so pulled out a folding chair and listened -- in a cool way, not even facing his direction, just hearing the acoustics.

Shortly after I left and refolded the chair, he came out, grabbed a cup of water out of the sink, and REALLY? Even after I offhandedly commented on his playing, and mentioned I had at one point made a F/T living at jazz music, he was like some grumpy old man, like I just shit on his lawn.

I've always known genuine musicians to be pretty responsive to detailed, sensitive praise from their peers -- we are all egotists! What the fuck was this guy doing in public playing if he didn't want/expect some feedback?

[Rube E. Tewesday]

Huh. Yeah, musicians normally pretty much are always game to talk shop with other musicians.

Maybe he believed that Charlie Parker story from Whiplash and is trying to become world class on his own.

[Jizzelbin]

Nah, he's too old for that! I will see say he was pretty damned good, and I'd have been interested in putting him in my book in case any straight-up piano trio job came up.

Yeah, that did surprise me to see someone improvising so fluidly and with great technique (sounded to me) both on bow and plucking whose personality was such a Mr Wilson.

He could have been upset that I said I also play Hammond organ (which obviously doesn't require the use of a bassist!) or that I said his playing reminded me a bit of Charlie Haden with Ornette -- "yeah's he's good" was his response, to which I said, "yeah, he is OK"

So, in retrospect, I think I was a tad too forthcoming. Contrast to one of the last times I saw Frank Hewitt play, when he came out of the club to refill his coffee cup with whatever, I said (he recognized me from years of me coming to his shows, I'm sure), "You really blew my mind tonight!" I think he almost gave me a hug.

Lesson to be learned -- always begin with extreme praise, so long as it's genuine!

[Jizzelbin]

Just killing some time wiresharking at a Starbucks (nothing good), but I came across at random this:

(1) A political subdivision in this state shall not adopt or enforce any local law or regulation that makes any of the following an offense, a violation or the subject of criminal or civil penalties or sanctions of any kind:
(a) Public intoxication.
(b) Public drinking, except as to places where any consumption of alcoholic beverages is generally prohibited.
(c) Drunk and disorderly conduct.
(d) Vagrancy or other behavior that includes as one of its elements either drinking alcoholic beverages or using controlled substances in public, being an alcoholic or a drug-dependent person, or being found in specified places under the influence of alcohol or controlled substances.
(e) Using or being under the influence of controlled substances.

I didn't know that, actually. So I could literally, it appears just crack open a cold one at lunch time, exempt from legal sanction of any kind (except a particular kind of civil hold which appears to depend on the discretion of an officer of the law).

Not my thing, really, these days but that's kind of a weird little bit of information.

[Trojan Man]

What is wiresharking?

About the bass dude, my guess is he wanted some place private to let loose without an audience, then realised he'd had an audience anyway. And/or maybe he thought you were trying to alpha him with a bit of one-upmanship. I'm sure you've met dickwad musos who do that. It's annoying as fuck. So I guess he just misread your interest and admiration.

[Jizzelbin]

Oh, well, I figured out the bassman -- turns out I'd already met him in a completely different context. He was trying to rally people to vote against corporate off-site management of the homeowner's association and reinforce hard limits on the proportion of renters to owners.

I didn't recognize him, because of a completely different context and no glasses on. Turns out he is trying to organize regular jazz concerts at the clubhouse with some (local) name players and him. He wants to charge $10 to get in (which is weird, because owner's don't have to pay to reserve the clubhouse, but I think he wants to pay his sideman/men something).

So, I see him around the neighborhood (I walk down and up the street by where he lives everyday, just my regular route) and we're cool. Nice guy.

Oh yeah, "Wireshark" is a packet-sniffing program which you can use to check what information you broadcast when you're surfing on any given network. So, if you're at a coffee shop with free wifi, it can be a good idea to make sure you aren't inadvertently broadcasting what websites you're visiting, usernames, passwords, and whatever.

You could, if you wanted to, just out of curiosity, see what other people are doing on the same network as well. This is perfectly legal according to USA federal case law. Can also kill some time. If there are no new threads here, of course.

[Trojan Man]

Sounds spine-tingly-dingly. I googled wiresharking, got a brief outline of what it is, but I don't see how it would be useful or interesting. I'll ask one of the IT geeks at work for more info.

[Jizzelbin]

Well, what I was doing when I said "wiresharking" was spying on everybody who was in the Starbucks across the street to see if anyone was looking at porn. I think wireless networking is a fun topic, but I don't know much about it -- this is just something to do to kill a minute or two. It's like something a teenager would do with a smartphone app-- not technical at all.

[Trojan Man]

Ah yes, I've heard of those apps. I always thought they were like those "turn your phone into a thermometer" when all they really did was use your phone location and provide the temperature in that region... Well, I might make up for my Luddite teenage years, and give it a go!

[Jizzelbin]

Sure, I guess. I really have no idea what people can do with their phones now -- I assume they "have an app for that." I just use my chromebook.

The most shocking is how many of these fucking hipster musician types are such fucking early fucking adopters of all that shit. It's ridiculous. Yeah, I used to like to use some technology for recording at home and storing copies of fake books and albums and slowing them down to learn some badass solo. But these guys are fucking nuts, with their fucking shit.

I guess everybody wants something packaged and slick, that somebody nerd decided they should use because of this bullshit online "community" idea of "sharing" and "open source" and "being helpful." Bunch of fucking computer monkey-fucking asshole hipster shit-heels.

[Trojan Man]

Are you talking about the elitist music nerds? I think (generally) guitarists are the worst for that. Your guitar body is made from Canadian mohogany? Who gives a fuck??? Can you actually play anything? A bad tradesman blames his tools, I say. I think a poor quality recording with interesting music is better than studio quality versions of Three Blind Mice. FFS.

[Elendil's Heir]

Just killing some time wiresharking at a Starbucks (nothing good), but I came across at random this....

Oregon law, eh? See this, too: http://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com...ation-laws.htm

[Jizzelbin]

Yeah, that is from 430.402 of whatever. Pretty neat, I guess, but I heard from somebody that it's not really all that fun to be involuntarily held at a "detox station" at the whim of a policeman. But I did not know that you cannot be cited for having an open container of alcohol.

Are you talking about the elitist music nerds? I think (generally) guitarists are the worst for that. Your guitar body is made from Canadian mohogany?

I don't know about elitist about technology -- more like struggling to be the hippest person with the coolest newest little gadget.

Instruments, OTOH, are a whole nother thing. Yeah, the guitarists can get there with the "see, the sustain! listen, you can hear it!" with a bunch of little fantasies about whatever kind of wood or whatever, but keyboardists (aside from regular pianists and organists) take the cake for sheer techno-nerding. You'd be shocked if you heard how much even your regular working or weekend-warrior keyboardist spends on just regular gear, many times just for the sake of keeping up with the latest.

At least guitarists are actually playing something, at the higher end, made by somebody, not a team of engineers in a windowless control room in Japan teleconferencing with a plant manager in China who also is in charge of making buttons and fiberglass packing materials for boats.

[Trojan Man]

Well there's that. Just wankery. I bought a new voice mic last week, and it's pretty cool. It's certainly not high-end, but good enough to hear myself over the guitar. And it distorts if you get right up close and scream in falsetto. The cheaper mics did it too, but this one does it with clarity.

That's about as nerdo as I get with equipment.

[Jizzelbin]

Which mic? I subscribe to TapeOp, but that's all I do with recording tech these days -- in fact I might just let it lapse, because aside from the entertaining gear reviews, every other ad (it's a free-to-USA delivery, paid for by ads) seems to have a glamour shot of (invariably) some dude's grinning face trying to look like a hip studio pro, and even the interviews (and there have been some amazing interviews) abound with glamour shots of some douche/douchette/both. It's really distracting to me when I'm trying to pop out a grumper or two on the toilet.

[Trojan Man]

It's a CAB mic. It's not what a top vocalist would use in a proper studio, but way better than the shitty ones I was using before.

Well, I tend to keep my music and toilet activities separate, but each to their own. What material inspires you to ''pop out a grumper or two''?

[Jizzelbin]

I don't need inspiration! Ray Jardine, noted long-distance thru-hiker, and proponent of ultra-light backpacking, advises us to observe how animals eliminate: "in one fell swoop."

In addition, he recommends that one's micturations be "copious and frequent."

But I like to watch TV shows on the computer while I shave.

eta and I did not mangle your precious chords! It's right there -- Gmaj7, 9 (or G7) --> D7 --> Bb9 (optional passing chord B9) --> C13 --> Emin9, 13 --> A13 --> Ebmaj7.