Rant away, Mellophants. In a Mello kind of way. :dumbo:
Printable View
Rant away, Mellophants. In a Mello kind of way. :dumbo:
I wish this friggin board would get more friggin posting. Come on people, entertain me more. ;)
I wish you both would stop posting. Right now.
http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/7...starvation.jpg
I hate when normal people are taking photos and they do that 'I'm doing a serious look like in calvin klien' or some shit and then there's shit picture of a gay guy or a girl or some shit staring at you like you fucking pissed in their cornflakes. You know what that fucking shit look works in advertising? Cause I don't know them. SHIT! If I know you you just come off as some sort of shit bag shitster.
I hate facebook people who haven't shittin figured out they should be on twitter. BUT not nearly as much as I hate people who only elude to whatever the shit they want to say in their shit shit shit updates. here's a shitty example from a shit bitch:
shitbitch says "hangin out with my boo and my friend about to eatz and then go out."
shitbitch says later "i miss you boo"
these are TWO different people come to find out, NONE of which are this shitbitches boyfriend. Fuck you shitbitch. You are a dumb slag shitster and I know for a fact all of the employees who work for you hate your guts. You don't even know that cause you're a shit bag shitster bitch.
I hate bisexuals and bipolars. They're both the same shit people in shit land. Bisexuals actually think people care about them, that's what that shit is. Some chick telling you, oh i'm bi i'm unique. I don't care, shit. Nobody cares. We don't talk to you because you're an annoying shit for entirely different reasons. Go shit around in your special happy place you damn shitsexual.
Bipolars. GOD I HATE BIPOLARS THESE DAYS. Shit bipolars here's some hints: If your life doesn't seem very interesting than your fucking normal. If your life is always having something to talk about with your friends, than you are a shit friend! I don't want to hear about how EVERYDAY you injure yourself, or something goes wrong, or somebody dies, or something. I don't care THAT much you shit blizzard. Also, if you find yourself lying to people, go seek help you shit. I'm tired of bipolars 'making up' stories to be like the fucking end of the world and then you get there and it's like SHIT. sit down, remain calm, this ain't shit. I had an old man shoot at me once. heard that shit pass me by. I don't go on about it, cause nobody gives a poop. Anyway you're all great in bed, but fuck I can't stand your me me me me me phases.
Quote:
Originally posted by hatesfreedom
GOD-DAMN IT DON'T HAVE TORTILLA CHIPS IN THE OFFICE.
The candy tray is eminently resistible - I haven't got much of a sweet tooth to begin with. Tortilla chips are just exactly everything I love: salty, fatty starch.
::sigh::
I'm not hungry. I'm not hungry. I had my lunch, and I'm not hungry. Just because food is out, doesn't mean I have to eat it. I am also not hungry.
Hates I think you could have fit a few more shits in there. I expect better than that from you. Do not let this piss-pour performance happen agan you little shit.
I'm mello - but not mellow.
About 9,000 :eek: out of over 500,00 people voted in the Mayoral election in the city of Atlanta. I'm so angry, hurt and disappointed I could spit. (I don't spit, but I could:Shake:)
jali, I'm sick of the apathy so many people have towards local only elections. Fucking idiots.
My own complaint:
Sure, you're a brick and mortar store selling connectors and esoteric electrical/electronic parts. In this day and age that means you're desperate for business. So desperate you've gutted your core business to shift something like 50% of the store to cater towards the cellphone market. Of course, so many other businesses have hit on the same formula to save themselves.... it's doing diddly for you.
I understand that you want to keep your job. I even understand the utility of trying to spark that old impulse buy.
But, for the love of little green sounding rods1, have some dignity about the whole process. Finishing the sale for a minor piece of telephone connection equipment isn't going to do much for your commission, I get that. But when you ask, "Do you want a new cell phone? A GPS unit? An MP3 player?" Accept the simple "No, thank you," and let it go.
Trying to spark an early Xmas sale after that, you're going to get just what I gave you - a description of the neato geek gifts I'm considering from places like Think Geek, that you don't carry!
It's not that surprising to see turnout low when there's no national races (although yeah, it's pretty bad how many people don't even bother voting for their mayor.) Given how low turnout was in the special state senate election we just had, though, I know a lot of people lied to my face when I asked if they were planning to vote.Quote:
Originally posted by jali
Of course, it's not hard to figure out they're lying when they say they're planning to vote but aren't even aware of the biggest thing on the ticket, which was the senate election I was volunteering for.
It's not like I'm going to judge you for not voting in an election like this. I know hardly anyone bothers. I know it legitimately can be hard to make a decision when you don't have that much information about the candidates. Why lie about it?
Yah, I didn't vote because honestly I have no idea who is running. I also can't really get motivated enough to care about who is running (or even who won? I dunno.) I mean it's virginia. as long as our elected people are 1% competent we're fine and will continue suckling at the government tit.
I don't mind if most people don't vote. I'd rather nobody vote than have stupid people who don't know anything about the election vote.
Jeebus Crimeny. Our neighbor across the street has her Christmas lights up. And turned on. :smash:
ARRRRRGH. Thanksgiving is a fabulous holiday, and it gets NO respect anymore! :smash: :smash: :smash:Quote:
Originally posted by Queen of Hearts
One local house has had their holiday lights up since before Halloween.
You'll be happy to know I respect the shit out of Thanksgiving. I have a giant turkey on my lawn strung with Thanksgiving Lights, an inflatable cornucopia, and an animated scene with a Pilgrim and an Indian sitting down to a feast together. It's the most respectful thing you could ever hope to see.Quote:
Originally posted by Sarahfeena
*wonders if his giant inflatable blowup of the indians dying of smallpox is in poor taste*
Let's just review a few things:
1) When the stage manager calls you because you are 10 minutes late for your call time, the proper response is "I'm already on my way and I'm bringing you a chocolate cake and a thing of tums." Not "I'm washing my hair." I'm glad we had this little chat.
2) Let's do a thought experiment: if you are in a play set in 1934 where you are chasing your sweetie up the stairs, which phrase seems more appropriate (and is also the one in the script) "Alice, let me talk to you!" or "Alice, come on!" There is a wrong answer.
3) Finally, I am not in charge of props or costume pieces. We're at the point where that is a dialogue between the actor and the props or costume crew. I actually have more to do than remember where your oh so special prop is and if you roll your eyes at me one more time, I'm going to scoop 'em out with a melon baller and practice a few scenes from Lear.
My daughter's inlaws are Jehovah's Witnesses.
They don't celebrate Thanksgiving - they all get together on "that Thursday in November when we have turkey and all the fixin's". What hypocritical goofballs.
Sheesh, yeah, if you're going to belong to a crazy, annoying religion, go all out for it.Quote:
Originally posted by jali
Aw, now you've gone and made me all nostalgic. ::sigh::Quote:
Originally posted by Inner Stickler
Which part? Frankly, I would love to play around with some scenes from Lear. That is such an awesome play.
All is well.
(looks around suspiciously)
In today's edition of cursing water for being wet:
Why can't nominally educated and intelligent people recognize that if they insist that their particular budget item from the State budget must be treated as a sacred cow, it has the effect of ensuring that all budget items get treated as sacred cows. And the predictable result is that the budget deficit grows, larger cuts become necessary down the road, and you have have people suddenly whining about things like new license plate fees that were set up to be taxes without instituting new taxes.
Grow the fuck up!
(The specific catalyst for this rant is this story, but the mindset has been common throughout NYS for the past year, with almost all aspects of the budget.)
I went out to see some bands last night. Although it's November, the temperature is still in the 70s at night here. So guys at the show, lose the leather jackets you just kind of look like a fool. And to the kids at the goth club next door, lighten up. Oh and the bat wings sewn onto the back of your shirt look fucking stupid.
I think you meant shit-poor performance....Quote:
Originally posted by Glazer
Attention computer sales fucknuggets:
If I cough sheks for a PCI card DVR and it says on the box, "with Pinnacle TVCenter Pro and VideoSpin editing software", I will not react favorably when the detailed directions tell me that the video edit software is actually an extra cost offer from an affiliated vendor. Especially when a careful review of the manufacturer's web site also does not disclose this information.
In conclusion, fuck right off. But in a mellow sort of way.
I am all melloly annoyed at theater patrons that honestly cannot shut the fuck up. Peep this. I decided to see the movie Precious (great performances in that movie). Went to The Little which is a tiny theater that usually is nice and quiet. Imagine my surprise when it was packed to capacity and loud as hell. Every time Precious' mom said something mean or vulgar, folks in the audience had to wince and gasp and cry out in shock and outrage and faint and pass out in the damn aisles. Just shut up! I don't mind if you laugh when it is funny. I don't mind folks that scream when a movie is scary. But I cannot stand it when folks can't contain thier emotions to the point that they have to cry out in amazement when they hear Mo'Nique call her daughter a bitch, or scream "OH MY GOOODDDDD" when they see her get slapped. I mean, if you can't handle that kind of movie, just stay home.
Ah, that's not a failure to contain their emotions. That's "demonstrating" Whooooole different creature.
Tell me more of this 'demonstrating'.
"Demonstrating" is when someone feels the need to include everyone else in what they're feeling. For example, you're in Petco and some woman is yelling at her child, "Don't open that container of crickets! If you open it, they'll get everywhere! Don't open the crickets!"Quote:
Originally posted by Nzinga, Seated
A normal person would say, "Stop that!" and take it away from the child. A demonstrater wants to be sure that everyone else knows what she's doing so that they can share in her exasperation.
People who do this at movies don't want to just enjoy the movie. They want to be sure that everyone else is aware of how they're enjoying this movie.
The flipside of this is, of course, sour-faced sticks in the mud who sit there and don't react at all. They suck for entirely different reasons. :Shake:
It irks me when people "make a short story long" by adding descriptive information that is unneccessary for the casual listener to hear.
"My coworker John" is good enough. "John Anderson, the head of the the accounting office in Phoenix who is here on loan for a couple of weeks" doesn't add to the story about what happened in your office today. It makes me tune you out. Stop this now!
That is cracking me up! Ha! I never realized they were an entire species of people.Quote:
Originally posted by Nrblex
Yeah, me too! :lol:Quote:
Originally posted by Nzinga, Seated
I had totally never thought about it that way but I think Nrblex has really stumbled onto something here.
I'm sick of the chat drama. I don't understand the bullshit (and that's exactly how it reads) between folks here. Friends/not friends - people taking sides, people quitting the boards... over what?
Shit! This is worse than the 8th grade lunch period. WTF is up with this?
This is the 4th or 5th time I've read transcripts of pure ugliness - why? How can adults allow snarky bullshit to create this type of chaos?
I didin't understand the "featherlou" drama. I didn't understand the rest either. I thought myrn and sleeps were tight. How does shit like this happen to adults on a message board?
I can see a dispute about politics or religion - some people take their positions so seriously, but petty shit? Damn.
People have invited me to chat. Hell no!
I'll give the boards a break for a while because I just don't want to see this anymore.
See you in a few weeks I guess. I'll keep my committments - the Secret Santa, ect., but fuck a conversation with any of these childish mofos!
Jali, I am so so so SO sorry you feel that way, not that I particularly blame you. Have a GREAT holiday season, and please come back to us. The mod staff is committed to making Mellophant a pleasant place for all of our online friends. :)
Well I think you are smart about staying out of chat. As fun as it can be, it can also really suck!Quote:
Originally posted by jali
I'll miss you around here and I hope you don't stay away too long. Couldn't you please just ignore the silly chat drama and stick to the board side? There are too few of us that post as it is.
NOO! Jali, don't go! If you stay I promise to post more pics of my hot self!!
Yeah here's hoping you don't stay away too long. You're a great poster and I, for one, love having you here. Just ignore the "drawma", it is tedious.Quote:
Originally posted by jali
I'll miss you, jali, and I hope you return soon. I don't blame you (or anybody) who wants to avoid the bullshit, but at least it's mostly contained to one or two places (the chate itself and the Pit). There's still fun to be had in the other forums!
Hey, don't scare her off. :eek:Quote:
Originally posted by TFR You SOB
;)
As AG said, it's best to just ignore the drama. It's all contained in the Pit/Cage where it should be.
If you have to take a break, I don't blame you, but we love you and want our jali time. :(
But...but...jali, I will bring you tea.
I am sorry to hear of you leaving as well. For what it's worth, I think you embody all that is right with mello. I hope no one else feels offended if I mention that my favorite posters here, bar none, are you and Hatshepsut. I love everyone else, but I race to read your posts first and I hope you come back soon to make lots more.
In other news, my brother-in-law is still an asshole. Love, love this family gathering stuff for the holidays!
Is it too early to drink?
Never too early on the holidays. :smash:
My niece surprised me by inviting three extra people to dinner, including someone I hate. When I pointed out that she did not ask me if this was okay, she told me my mother said it was fine.
Oh, I'm sorry. My mistake. I thought I was an adult. :fist:
Stop putting wrappers back in the After Eights box and making it look full.
:Shake:
For the love of sea slugs and other aquatic invertebrates, Dad, will you for stop trying to 'help' when you're making more of a mess for everyone?
For that matter, it would be nice if you could recognize that the reason you've got bed and chair alarms is because you're so unsteady on your feet you've been falling at a rate of about once a month - this when we all know you're aware that you're supposed to be calling for assistance when you need to get up. Don't tell the neurosurgeon and NP that you're doing fine, no falls. AAARRRRGGGGH!!!
If anyone has some spare patience, I could use a shot or two. Thanks.
There should be a law banning any baby strollers from public transportation that are more than X times the length and width of the actual baby.
Exact value of X to be determined from historical data. Seriously, the monstrosities people use these days to wheel their brood around are definitely incompatible with commuter trains.
Oh man, it takes a clueless parent to use anything but an umbrella stroller on mass transit. I guess if the baby is still too small for said it could be a problem. But even there, our infant stroller was only about 2' wide tops. (around 61cm). What are they doing, going back to the old fashion strollers?
Oh God, yes. There is something seriously wrong when a baby in a stroller is taking up as much room as two adults. And at least the two extra adults would have been more maneuverable.Quote:
Originally posted by kk fusion
Shyamalan. You know how to write it. Don't fucking pretend you don't.
He even went and used an easy to remember, if pretentious, "M. Night" for the rest of his working name. The last name is the most normal part.
When you pretend you've never heard of it before and this is the first time it's passed through your brain, it's not funny. Are you really that proud of your own ignorance? Hooray for you, ignorant fucktard! Keep it up! Are you so culturally backward that you really have never heard a name that doesn't sound like your own? Don't bother mangling the name. Just go with 'dothead'. Or 'raghead'. Maybe 'wog' or 'Paki' if you like. No need to be accurate. Do you hate his films, and want to insult him for making them? Make sure to be as childish as possible. Call him a poopypants while you're at it.
Maybe you don't always spell things 100% right. Look, no one's going to complain if you say 'Shymalan'. But this isn't 'Nagheenanajar' or 'Nahassapeemipetilon'. Those aren't even all that hard to write or say and they aren't fucking real names. So call him M., call him Night, call him Manny, Nelli, Manoj, Mr. Shyamalan, Siyamalan, Ṣiyāmaḷaṉ, ശ്യാമളന്*, but don't be a fucking idiot.
This is a Mello rant because he's not that great a director and in a few years no one will remember his name anyway.
*This isn't a fucking footnote, that asterisk is there because apparently this text box can't get his name right and inserted it instead of the right character.
A lot of people REALLY can't spell, though. And also, for some reason, the pronunciation seems to be "SHAH-mah-lahn" even though there's that Y. I assume it's pronounced in whatever language it comes from, but Americans don't. I'm not sure how he pronounces it, though.Quote:
Originally posted by parzival
Also, stop taking the elevator up to the second level of the parking garage. The stairs are right there. It's FASTER to take the stairs one level than wait for the elevator. And me? I'm parked on the sixth level because the State of Michigan section starts on the fifth level. Taking an elevator to skip five flights of stairs is legitimate. But if you're going to two, you can fucking walk it. It will save us BOTH time.
I sent this feedback to Google about their new image search screen:
Quote:
Originally posted by me
Now that is an impressive piece of feedback. Also I appear to be getting the old GIS today so maybe your complaint did some good.
Please stop talking about your "food baby." It is not cute or clever and is in fact a really disgusting idea. Know why? Because when you say your belly looks like you're six months pregnant with your "food baby" I start thinking about the "poop baby" it's going to turn into.
Just...shut up. Please.
God, who says this?Quote:
Originally posted by Zuul
Wikipedia's images: they have the small size in the articles, and you can click them to get the original size, which is often bigger. Sometimes WAY WAY bigger. I see a little pic of a city or something, I want to see it a little bigger. What do I get? A five megabyte photo that takes forever to download -- especially if it's over my crappy work internet connection -- that's 5000x3000 pixels or thereabouts. I then have to resize it if I want to see it since it's five times as big as my monitor.
Hey, guys? How about displaying it at a nice moderate size on the "view photo page" -- say around 1024x768 -- and then have a link to view or download it at the original size if I really want the absolute maximum quality? Since, usually, I don't. I just want to see the statue or bridge or whatever at a nice comfortable size.
Judging by my Twitter feed, women between the ages of 22-30 who think that they are cute.Quote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
...
They are not.
There's more than one? :wth:
I believe it all started with the movie Juno, so it's, you know, those sorts of people.
Hey, I loved that movie.
Do you quote it regularly?
Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it.Quote:
Originally posted by Zuul
Dear McDonald's,
As a female comic book fan, I take offense to your employees' referring to the Marvel action figures as the "boy" toys. If I hadn't been ordering Happy Meals specifically to get Littlest Pet Shop toys for my sister, I would have said something supremely snotty. As it is, thanks to your tasty cheeseburgers, I'm going to let it slide this time.
(emphasis added)Quote:
Originally posted by Marsilia
Boooooo!
Dear Straightdope mods.
You have weally, weally, weally hurt my feelings now. Boo hoo, fuck you too.
Had to get that off my chest before it tore me apart.
Hmmm... not even an "ivan, you asked for it, you got it." comment?
You lot really have given up your Dope addiction, haven't you!
wot is dope
also, high schooler should be leashed.
For a moment I read that as "lashed".Quote:
Originally posted by Inner Stickler
Either way, it makes no sense.
I don't know whether to have a mello-rant about it, or not... nah, I can't raise the ire.
schoolers. High schoolers should be leashed. Because I don't feel like I get paid enough to nanny.
Nope, Sticky, I'm not feeling you on this one.
Can you just say what you mean without the cryptic bits?
D'oh! I get it now... you aren't even referring to my post; you're just having your own little mello-rant.
I could get behind lashings for hard-bodied 18-year-olds.Quote:
Originally posted by Feirefiz
First of all, we are human fucking beings. We are not wolves or gorillas. If humans ever had a system that could be split into alpha males vs. beta males, it hasn't been recorded and it seems pretty unlikely.
Your concept of an alpha male running around getting all the ladies means that there is going to be heavy physical competition between males, which lends itself toward a harem structure and sexual dimorphism. Men are slightly larger than women, but not by enough to imply such a social structure was common enough to have an impact on our evolution. Have powerful males in history taken large harems? Yes. Is this how most human reproduction is accomplished? No.
Secondly, this "alpha" and "beta" talk is quite often used in a metaphor involving wolf pack structure. That is ridiculous. An alpha wolf is pretty much the exact opposite of what you idiots think of as an "alpha male." In a wolf pack, there is an alpha dog (note that this is the proper term for a male canine) and an alpha bitch. They breed together and the rest of the pack helps them raise their young. The alpha dog prevents the other beta dogs from mating by staying close to the alpha bitch during estrus while the alpha bitch prevents the beta bitches from going into heat, usually by harassing them. The alpha dog is the alpha bitch's mate and all pack activity is ultimately centered around them surviving as a reproductive unit. It is by forming a successful breeding pair that they become alphas. The alpha dog has to keep his mate safe, keep his pack fed, and communicate his pack position by showing his dominance, strength and health through his every physical movement. The alpha dog isn't alpha because he's a big mean jerk who hurts the poor widdle betas' feelings. That's actually the bitch's job.
So the way that you are using alpha and beta to refer to human beings makes no sense no matter how you look at it. Do women prefer men who are exceptional in some way? No doubt. That isn't an example of how unfair life is and how you can't get laid because you're a "beta male". Nobody wants to fuck somebody who is mediocre. Everybody would prefer the exceptional partner.
So in conclusion: please for the love of God, never use those two words to refer to humans again.
Dope? Straightdope? Need to Google here.Quote:
Originally posted by ivan astikov
Back.
So, you persistently misbehaved on this other message board, got "banned", and now you run over here to whine about it. Goodness me. Would it kill you to grow a set? It's as bad as that snivel of yours about how unfair the driving test was.
Now if you'll excuse me, company's due to arrive any moment. ;)
Mom, when we say goodbye before we leave on our vacation, maybe you could just say "have fun" like everyone else. Leave out how you've told everybody not to let us know if you die while we're away.
I'm convinced these sort of drama queens do this shit deliberately - to make sure you call them regularly.
Dicky, Dicky, Dick, Dick, Dick - I hope you dont mind being called Dick, or would you prefer Sir Dick? Oh, fuck it, I'm gonna call you Dick; it seems somehow appropriate. Anyhoo, Dick, back to your reply...Quote:
Originally posted by Sir Richard ffoulkes
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir Richard ffoulkes
Erm, no, not really. But I suppose that's one way of interpreting it.Quote:
per·sis·tent (pr-sstnt, -zs-)
adj.
1. Refusing to give up or let go; persevering obstinately.
2. Insistently repetitive or continuous: a persistent ringing of the telephone.
3. Existing or remaining in the same state for an indefinitely long time; enduring: persistent rumors; a persistent infection.
Yay, you got something right. There's hope for you yet!Quote:
Originally posted by Sir Richard ffoulkes
Well...I'm banned over there and I'm a member here... where should I have gone and "whined" about it, Einstein?Quote:
Originally posted by Sir Richard ffoulkes
My balls are hale and hearty, but thanks for showing concern.Quote:
Originally posted by Sir Richard ffoulkes
I made a reasonable and seemingly uncontroversial complaint that a test that wasn't carried out by everyone, wasn't what I'd call a fair test. You are entitled to disagree, just as I'm entitled to think you are a poncy prick of the highest order.Quote:
Originally posted by Sir Richard ffoulkes
Let me guess... the pizza delivery guy was on his way?Quote:
Originally posted by Sir Richard ffoulkes
Well, let's take those in order shall we? You can call me Dick if your tongue stumbles over two whole syllables, Mr Nasty Cough, but if you were aiming for a humorous riff I should tell you that eleanorigby got there first, and the difference is that she is a pretty, witty and charming little thing while you are a thieving Mancunian twat. You can scurry off to the dictionary and present some definition of the word "persistent" that you then assume without further argument strengthens your position, but the fact of the matter is that you got warned again and again and could not be bothered to learn your lesson. I've no sympathy. You may think this other message board is the cyber embodiment of a Fascist state and all the moderators dribbling morons, but if you join the club you play by their rules.
You ask where you were supposed to go and whine about it? You weren't supposed to whine anywhere! It's as if you were up before me in the magistrate's court and I asked you why you urinated in somebody's doorway and you scratched some of your more disgusting sores and mumbled "Well, whose doorway was I meant to piss in?", you poor sap. Is this so hard to understand? Perhaps I was wrong to question your testicular fortitude when I should have been focussing on your reasoning powers.
By all means call me a poncy prick - based on, I presume, the "Sir" and the fact I delivered the verbal slapping that you asked for - and I'll call you a larcenous oik and we'll each go our way rejoicing, shall we? But, while I can't presume to speak for you, I respect my digestive system too much to inflict take-away pizza at any time, and certainly not at midnight. I don't expect you to understand this, as I'm sure when the munchies kick in you'll scavenge eatables out of the waste-bin if there's nothing you fancy in the fridge.
But, talking of food, the breakfast trolley has arrived, and scrambled eggs and orange juice in bed with a dear little thing appeals far more than trading insults with you, so I'll be off. Enjoy your Sunday!
I'll just call you Prick then, shall I?
So, listen up, Prick, unless you've been following my posting habits like some kind of stalker with a hard-on for bad guys, I'm going to guess you know next to fuck all about the reasons for my banning, and whether or not it was actual misdemeanors that got me banned, or a possible personality conflict with some of the jack-boot wearing, jumped-up cunts that the majority of people on this board came here to get away from.
Now, despite the presence of those self-important wankers who call the shots over there, I actually liked posting on the Dope because a) it was always busy. b) there was always some topic that interested me. and c) there were some smart people to bounce ideas off. These pros outweighed the cons of encountering tits like yourself, with over-inflated egos and smarm oozing out of every orifice, just sufficiently enough to keep me going back each day.
So, I come here, have my mello-rant, and behold, my only substantial response is from yours truly Sir Prick ff-ff-ff-ffuck-wit, and here we are.
So, come on, what other wonderful insights do you want to share regarding my posting technique, or lack of it?
ps. Ponder on it while you are frolicking with your "dear little thing" - aka fucking your Fleshlight - and eating your cheese on crackers.
Dudes. You're harshing my Mello. Go have a slap fight somewhere else.
Why, are these the reincarnations of Dorothy Parker and Oscar Wilde? On this very message board?
<3 Dorothy Parker <3
< checks forum >Quote:
Originally posted by Nrblex
Thought so - The Thunderdome. Not Granny's Parlour, or some other genteel discussion area. If you don't like a slap-fest, don't get inbetween one.
It's not a slapfight so much as a droolfest. I'd say never come to a battle of wits unarmed but this is neither witty nor a battle. It's like two retarded monkeys are shitting themselves.
"Drool-fest", "two retarded monkeys shitting themselves"...?
You're not really doing much to up the ante, Sticky.
I'm not really invested in it so
I'm more irritated about the fact that the History Channel is having a special on aliens.
Hard-on? You mistake me for a former cellmate, evidently. Bad guy? You're not a bad guy, you're a petty crook and small-time loser, fit to be a living testament to impressionable children on the evil consequences of poor life choices. I don't need to stalk you, I just need to do five minutes' research to pop up the thread in which the Straight Dope moderator announces your banning and follow the links to get the executive summary of your repeated (if you like that word any better than "persistent") failure to learn simple lessons. This I did only because of your whining and snivelling and because it plainly irked you that no-one was coming in to tell you it was all your own fault so you could scream, cry and throw your toys out of the perambulator. Well, now you've got what you asked for and you don't like it. Much what could have been expected, really.
Yes, yes, The Man hates you, whether it's the judge sending you down for yet another stay at Her Majesty's Pleasure or the jack-boot wearing jumped-up cunts and self-important wankers that boot you from your beloved message board for reiterated assholery. Once the bluebottles put the mark on you, you haven't got a chance. Couldn't have anything to do with your ongoing bed-soiling and general childishness, now could it? That must be why everyone and his brother over at that other board is foaming at the mouth in indignation over the injustice perpetrated on you. Like him, and him, and him, and him, and him, and...
Now, you post your little cry for attention and I, as a thoroughly disinterested and uninterested party, take a few minutes to give you my dispassionate view on the matter, and what do I get? Playground insults. Explains a lot about you really.
And just to set you straight, I personally have no need for a Fleshlight (and Cosette, as I'll call her, would be very disappointed right now to learn that I had any stamina left over for one ;) ), but I have no axe whatever to grind against cheese and crackers. Fortnum's do some excellent examples; perhaps, next time you're in Piccadilly, you might pop in and pinch some, although don't say I told you to.
Inner Stickler, I commend to you the famous utterance of the Master Of Quick Wit And Repartee.
Now, if you'll excuse me, the bar's open and I have a busy week ahead of me. May catch you later if the wifi on the train is working any time this week.
Do carry on, this is all very interesting. I'm sure other posters would love to know your methods of determining a person's personality and lifestyle, based on the perusal of --- how many posts?Quote:
Originally posted by Sir Richard ffoulkes
Go on, continue to dig yourself a hole, smart arse.
ps. What is the reasoning behind mentioning your "dear little thing" in every response, Prick?
HISTORY CHANNEL. :RAEG:Quote:
Originally posted by Inner Stickler
I KNOW RIGHT?
Idiots.
Hmmm... maybe if the thread announcing my banning hadn't been instantly locked before the 1,000 + viewers had had their 2c worth, you might have seen some protestation. For every person you've linked to there who hates my guts, I could find you at least one post that has praised me for my contributions on that board, but still, thanks for reminding us all that it's a personality contest over there and if you don't fit, they'll contrive a way to prove it.Quote:
Originally posted by Sir Richard ffoulkes
Quote:
Originally posted by Inner Stickler
You mean they've ran out of Hitler programmes? Fuck me, that is a shocker! What is the world coming to?
What a drama queen.
Poor Muffin. If you consider this drama, you must constantly be on the verge of wetting yourself with excitement everytime something happens around you.
On review of Muffin's previous posting activity, I see he's not been over here in more than a month.
What a sad and dreary existence he must lead, if coming here to snipe at me is his only inspiration.
Dear School Across the Street from my Bedroom,
TURN OFF THE FUCKING GIANT GENERATOR! I'm trying to get sleepy, and this shit is really not helping. This is a residential neighborhood. It's bad enough that I have to plan my days off around your dismissal (since I invariably have parents parked in front of my driveway to wait for their kids), now you're going to keep me up all night. Thanks, Aniston Elementary. Thanks.
Dear Hottie Hipster Co-worker,
Please don't call me in the evenings ever again. You are really cute, shouldn't you be busy? Like, shouldn't you be balls-deep in some girl with adorable glasses, while Mission of Burma plays in the background? Rather than calling me about work stuff at 9 at night? Because you are a whole lot less likable when I'm not looking at your pretty, pretty face.
Love,
Exy
P.S.: From now on, no phone calls or emails. I only respond to in person contacts. Also, my cubicle is a pants-free zone.
Dear Dental Hygienist who moved to Florida,
Was it me? Honestly, I have been flossing so much lately. I value you, and your opinions, and I have been trying to live up to the demands you (rightfully) make. I never meant to let you down. I never meant to not measure up. I have a toothbrush at work. I floss in the bathroom there a lot of the time even though it makes me look like a gigantic goober. I mean, I really tried to meet your standards.
So why did you abandon me and move to Florida? Florida is horrible, it's even hotter and more humid than here, and they have bugs that are like eight inches long. Is it because of me? I felt like I was making so much progress. My gums were shrinking; I was getting really good about brushing after I drank coffee so I wouldn't get stain on my teeth. I really tried, here. I really worked on our relationship problems.
Whatever it is, please come back. I'll do whatever you say. Please don't leave me with this woman who talks about her divorce while she's scaling my teeth. I know I probably need more work than most patients. I understand that my saliva chemistry causes me to accumulate more tartar than most people. That's something I can't change. It doesn't mean I don't love you and value our relationship.
I'm not perfect, but I'm trying.
Warmest regards,
Exy
Dear jackass,
Ignoring all political commentary, your belief that the two languages of Haiti are identical and there's no reason to keep both of them is deeply retarded.
The lexicon of Haitian Creole is largely derived from French, but pronunciation, morphology and grammar are dramatically different. In the past it borrowed from African languages, Spanish and Taíno and recently it's started more heavily borrowing from English. The sentence structure is almost purely African in origin, meaning that if a French speaker could get around the pronunciation differences they'd still be looking at a largely foreign syntax.
To give you an idea of how different that pronunciation and syntax is, "I am Haitian" in Creole is "Ayisyen mwen ye." In French it's, "Je suis haïtien."
Haitian Creole is a creole language. It isn't French.
Uh, really long effortpost follows. (Sorry, skip it if you're not a huge nerd. I did a couple papers on creoles in school, one of which focused heavily on Haitian Creole.)
Absolutely.Quote:
Originally posted by Zuul
Exactly how African creoles are may be debatable (in the case of creoles with an African "substrate" language and a European "lexifier" language, obviously -- there are of course creoles with no connection to Africa, and a number of creoles in Africa in which all the languages are creoles.) There are different schools of thought on this.Quote:
The sentence structure is almost purely African in origin, meaning that if a French speaker could get around the pronunciation differences they'd still be looking at a largely foreign syntax.
What I would term the "conventional theory" of creole genesis essentially holds that creoles are newly-invented languages, spoken when a large number of children in a community whose only shared language is a pidgin (i.e. a simple communication system that's not really quite a language, with a small vocabulary and no consistent grammar) grow up speaking it. This theory holds that the syntax of creoles is essentially a kind of "default" syntax for human language that we all have wired into us. Look up Derek Bickerton's Language Bioprogram Hypothesis for a well-developed discussion. (Although if you want to read it, there wasn't an electronic version available when I needed that paper a few years back so it'll be hard to find.)
That theory doesn't really require all that much influence from the substrate languages. Naturally there could be some, because such children would almost certainly hear some of their parents' native languages, but it doesn't really result in a grammar that's identical or even all that similar to that of the substrate languages. John McWhorter, a pretty well-known creolist, has developed a "Creole Typology" which he claims describes all creole languages, and while I think he's wrong, it's a pretty influential idea, and to the extent that creoles in the Caribbean, the Pacific, Asia, and within Africa all have similar grammars -- and they do, to some extent -- then those similarities are probably not the result of influence from substrate languages.
Gradualist theories (look up Salikoko Mufwene for a pretty well-known advocate of them) argue that creoles originate from imperfect second-language acquisition by adults -- adults who (in the case of Haiti) were enslaved and forced to try to communicate in French. Due to imperfect command of French, and then other adults learning imperfectly from the first group, and so on, you eventually see a totally separate language. That would allow for a major influence from the substrate languages, although if I remember right Mufwene really tends to play down the substrate influence, and tends to see there being relatively little.
This is long so I'll wrap it up, but I just wanted to note that there's a lot of debate in creolistics as to how much creole grammar results from substrate influence, how much is of European origin, and how much is due to the "defaults" of our innate linguistic faculty. The Wikipedia article on creole languages actually has some interesting discussion of this, and IIRC their article on creole genesis is pretty interesting too.
Note though that the spelling system used in Haitian Creole tends to magnify differences. For instances, "ayisyen" and "haïtien" are pronounced pretty much identically. The sound system of Haitian Creole is obviously not the same as that of French, but if you hear it, you will notice how similar they are.Quote:
To give you an idea of how different that pronunciation and syntax is, "I am Haitian" in Creole is "Ayisyen mwen ye." In French it's, "Je suis haïtien."
<3 <3
in which all the languages involved in the origin of the creole are AfricanQuote:
Originally posted by me
:smack
Okay, that's it! I'm fucking annoyed now. How am I supposed to enjoy my catfish sandwich after watching this pleasure-seeking fish?
Somehow zombie fish bother me more than friendly fish.
Fuck dat shit! Now I can't eat porcupine!
Dear hillbilly roofers,
Perhaps you live in a barn, but when you have to walk into my air-conditioned home and it's hot outside close the fucking door. I pointed it out once. That really should have been sufficient. :RAEG:
God DAMN it, you had the exterminator out here, spraying, and you DIDN'T TELL HIM about the dead bird in the trash bin??? Really? REALLY??
I swear it's like this fucker WANTS the whole house to be infested.
Dear Dad,
You liked to think of yourself as a handyman.
You also had no aptitude for the avocation. But you persisted. Which could be admirable. Except you were far more likely to volunteer for projects, and then never do anything on them. Case in point: Great Grandpa Stabel's box in your shop. It's sat there for 15 years that I'm pretty sure of, and you never even emptied it out!, let alone started work on it. There are several other identifiable projects in your shop that I can see. All in equal states of completion.
Then there's the tools you got from your father-in-law's shop. Did you ever even plug them in? Why on earth made you think you had a use for a drill press, a band saw, and a power grinder? The reasoning behind taking them just fails to come clear to me, no matter how much I turn it over in my head.
What's worse, however, were the jobs you managed to complete.
The sink faucet that's canted 15 degrees from vertical I can understand, sorta. I'm as strong as you, and I know how easy it can be when using a torque multiplier (also known as a pipe wrench) to exceed design tolerances on household fittings. Why you didn't fix it a the time, however, I don't know. The toilet that was turned so it was obliquely facing the bathroom wall, however, seems to me to be an adjustment that was actively making that unit more difficult to use.
Finally, the dehumidifier: Why on earth did you use a waterproof epoxy, in a layer one half of an inch thick to fix the hose onto the discharge fitting from the catch basin? Did you really think that you'd never have to replace that dehumidifier? Were you afraid that the mice would unscrew the hose? Were you really that concerned about the potential for drips off the dehumidifier? It's not like you were going to be paying an increased water bill for it.
And if you did have to do that, why on earth did you have to choose to sacrifice the one hose you had that was an oddball size, and construction, so that it's impossible to find an adapter to fix that hose?
And I can't ask my dad any of these questions. He'll just look confused and sleep some more.
So you get to hear 'em here.
GYAH!!!!!!!
Dear Glee,
"SENSATIONAL TRANSYLVANIA"? Really? I will watch this episode on Wednesday afternoon, just like all the others, but this retired Columbia has a deep sense of dread about what y'all have done.
Dear McDonalds,
I want a God-damned cup of iced tea that isn't freaking dripping tea when you hand it into my car.
What the hell?
I DON'T WANNA BE AT WORK ANY MORE. I WANNA GO HOOOOOOMMMMEEEEE.
::dissolves into tears like a pathetic 3-year-old::
People who program television sports networks:
POKER IS NOT A DAMN SPORT!
It really amazes me how loose networks will get with what they show. TLC is nothing but freakish baby making, SyFy has wrestling, the History Channel has truckers...
It just makes no damn sense. I'm turning to this network because the name of it implied what sort of entertainment might be available.
Dear beloved sister of mine,
Look, you married an asshole. Everyone gets that but you. You go ahead and cling with both hands to your pathetic dreams that maybe someday he'll do half the things he says he can do, you pitiful codependent thing. The rest of us will endure, as we always have, because while we'd like to make you face the consequences of your own poor choices, when push comes to shove, you're family and we'll continually step in to help when you're suffering.
More specifically, my friend gave you a generous gift of a vehicle, since having only one greatly complicates your lives. It's not the newest shiniest thing on the road, true, but it's a decent dependable vehicle that could be used for your work commute handily. All that's required is one inexpensive repair, and of course plating and insuring it. You make a good living, there's no good reason why this vehicle is still in my driveway nearly two months later. You're paying someone to take you back and forth to work each week, for fuck's sake! You walked away from your mortgage a few months back, since you didn't have a house payment for months in anticipation, how can you not have the couple hundred bucks to put it on the road!?
Gah!
Wow, Queen, I had to stop and remember that you lived in Detroit. My wife gave our old car to a friend of a friend a few months ago, and what a pain. Helping out people who would rather be fucked up is pointless.
Oh, and while I'm here: BILLIARDS AND DARTS AREN'T DAMN SPORTS EITHER! NOTHING YOU CAN DO WHILE DRINKING A BEER OR EATING A SANDWICH IS A DAMN SPORT!
Look, you're on a secondary, local access road. You're either here because you're a local, or because you're looking for a specific address. I'll give a bye for the out-of-towners, reluctantly. But what the fuck is up with you morons who have to be in the left lane on East Ave, as it passes Allen's Creek Road? Sure, the left lane is no longer a left turn only lane, but still at least 30-50% of the people who reach the intersection in that lane will be turning left there. Whether they've signaled their intention in advance or not. (Which is another rant.) It happens every fucking day on this road. If you want to go through the intersection quickly, you get into the right hand lane, like I have been in. No matter that I'll have to move over to the left lane to go straight through the East/Linden intersection 300 feet down the road.
What the fuck is up with your goddamned, signaless, panic swerves into my travel lane? Especially when you lack the ability to check for oncoming traffic? If this were happening just once in a while, I wouldn't be quite so peeved, but you lousy, microencephalitic, syphilitic morons can't seem to learn.
Yeah! Once I turned on ESPN and they had baseball on! :DQuote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
Heh, I know, but show me a guy who can play the hot corner with a pint in his hand, and I'll withdraw my comments.Quote:
Originally posted by fachverwirrtYeah! Once I turned on ESPN and they had baseball on! :DQuote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
Well, not in his hand (you need both to catch and throw*), but I'm sure someone somewhere has played third with a beer hat on.Quote:
Originally posted by Rube E. TewesdayHeh, I know, but show me a guy who can play the hot corner with a pint in his hand, and I'll withdraw my comments.Quote:
Originally posted by fachverwirrtYeah! Once I turned on ESPN and they had baseball on! :DQuote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
*Unless you're Jim Abbott.
Wow. You really haven't been to Aussieland, have you?Quote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
Wow. You really haven't been to Aussieland, have you?Quote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
Do not listen in preparation of responding. Listen to understand. It's very, very obvious when you do the former instead of the latter, because then I get a response that's latching onto something you can stupidly relate back to you and has nothing to do with what I was actually saying.
Stop that. If you want to communicate, it has to go both ways and you have to fucking listen.
Do the fish? Why are you talking about fish?! :???:Quote:
Originally posted by Peeta Mellark
To the guy with the alarm on his blackberry that went off for a solid five minutes. You knew it was you, you annoyed everyone in the carriage with its constant bleeping.
Idiot. Probably a highly-paid idiot, but still an idiot.
Gawker: I didn't need to know what Christine O'Donnell's genitalia looks like. You claim you're uncovering hypocrisy, yet I note no male candidate who condemns premarrital sex has ever had his drunken makeouts posted all over the Internet. She told the guy she wouldn't have sex with him and she didn't. You just look nasty and sexist for holding her to a standard no conservative male candidate is held to and you don't even realize it. Thanks for making Crazy Pants look sympathetic, you dickholes.
I think the story was worth publishing. Largely because it inspired this parody:
I Got Blueballed by This Famous-Ass Chick, Yo
Quote:
So these wasted chicks walk in, and it's like, obviously they wanna blow the shit out of everyone there. The famous chick was dressed like a ladybug, and ladybugs are horny as all fuck, yo. Everyone knows that.
Quote:
But this chick was like, DRESS UP SO WE CAN GET DRUNK WITH YOU AND DO YOU. And I had a boy scout's uniform in my closet because it's cool to have a boy scout uniform hanging around in your closet, not like, because I'm a weird pervert or anything like that. I know what you're thinking and it's not like that, even though my father's like WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT LITTLE BOY'S SHIRT IN YOUR CLOSET? every time he's comes with mom to bring me detergent and I'm like, bro, Dad, it's not like that and I don't know why he'd think that but he does.
Quote:
And then she ended up doing my roommate and dating him for a bit, because he's a piece of shit, is why. And don't ask me if I'm bitter because you already know the answer to that question, because you're smart enough to read this blog website. NO, I'M NOT BITTER MY ROOMMATE DIDN'T GET BLUEBALLED BY THIS FAMOUS BITCH AND DATED HER. Obviously.
Anyway, because I'm a good guy, and she's like super famous now, I'm telling this story for everyone to know about her, for the public good. Sure I made some money from it but whatevs, yo, it's for YOU, it's something YOU need to know when you go see her movies.
Jaegermeister, don't act all chummy with me, like we're friends, just to turn on me the morning after. Not cool.
Local radio station, don't bang on about alopecia and gall stones while I'm eating breakfast. There are already too many hypochondriacs here and you're freaking them out, and putting me off my food.
I just love it when people who pray to gods tell me to "grow up"!
May you trip and stub your toe in the morning and spill your coffee all over your shirt. And I hope it's a good shirt, too. And maybe you bend your toenail backwards inside your shoe and it bleeds a little. And then I hope you're late for work and your boss yells at you and you go hide in the bathroom to CRY. Yeah, that's the kind of day you deserve. :RAEG:
You know, when you run a restaurant, and you only have two people working at the counter in the first place, having one of them go on break at lunch time probably isn't a great idea.
Just sayin'.
Attention CNN: Your Headline News is supposed to be about major news stories of the day, and since you're based in the US, I expect your stories to be focused most upon things that will actually affect the United States.
So why the FUCK are you spending so much goddamned airtime telling us that Prince William has gotten engaged, what the wedding will have to live up, and that he and his fiancee are living some kind of fairy tale. (Which trope worked out so fucking well for his mother.)
It's not even like there isn't important shit going on today in the US. Rep. Rangel getting the ethics committee censure is pretty big, and going to affect Americans a lot more than the latest in the Brit Royals soap opera.
Pretend you're a fucking news outlet, not an advertising revenue machine. Fuckers.
Dear plants of northern California: It's November. Stop Fucking Blooming. I would like to exist for some small portion of the year without nasal allergies. You all suck forever.
Okay, this is getting annoying. Every time I connect my Reader to my computer to recharge the battery, Windows pops up with a window telling me "This device can be faster if connected to a USB 2.0 port. (Click here for details.)"
Which is really fucking annoying since my computer has no USB 2.0 ports. Thank you, Microsquish.
Dear lady on the train. I understand you want to get to work, but there is no room for you to get on and shouting "Please move down" when there is no space and then trying to shoulder barge on is an exercise in futility, gives those of us by the door bruises and a hatred for annoying commuters.
Yeah, I know the annoyance that comes when the train is packed by the door but there's plenty of empty space that people are too stupid to move into, but the characters who insist that that's the case when their own eyes should show them that the train is, in fact full, are annoying indeed.Quote:
Originally posted by CatInASuit
Dear Facebook friends. Please stop posting half-assed, ranting, idiotic political screeds as your statuses. I get that you are passionate and believe that half the country is your enemy. You've made that abundantly clear. You can stop now. Seriously.
Oh great, in another sign of rampant commercialism and americanisation, Amazon is trying to import Black Friday to the UK.
It's just not gong to work in the same way.
I want a tattoo that says "Being old is not an excuse to not know things." If I have one more person act like touching the "Shop" icon to shop for books only makes sense to me because they think I'm younger than I am, I think I might start wadding up flyers and throwing them at people.
Mother, walking out while mumbling something you expect me to hear is childish, and unacceptable.
OY. INTERNET-DATE GUY.
It is obvious that you are painfully shy. That is OK, I am too. But we seem to have a lot in common, and, wonder of wonders, you don't creep me out.
I CANNOT KISS YOU ON THE TRAIN. It is in public, and brightly lit, and I'm just too Lutheran for that. IF YOU HAD OFFERED TO WALK ME HOME, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN EXCELLENT OPPORTUNITY FOR SNOGGING.
IN THE FUTURE, PLEASE TAKE SOME INITIATIVE.
... I should have asked him to walk me home. I am a doofus too. :fail:
Dear Simple Dog,
There are times, dear puppy, when I will have to leave you outside for several hours at a time. Some of those times, school will be in session. Those little kids cannot be your new friends. Their teachers are the ones who call the doggy cops to come lock you up. So, in conclusion, please refrain from digging under the gate when I leave you outside for more than five minutes. I can't afford to bail you out all the time.
Oh dear god, mothers. My mom does this thing where she starts to say something, then quickly stops and sometimes even says something like, "no I won't say it." Thanks mom, now not only do I know I was about to be criticized, but now I don't even know what for. That is not better, that is worse.Quote:
Originally posted by OtakuLoki
Yeah, sorry, no kissing on the train. I don't even kiss my husband on the train.Quote:
Originally posted by Orual
Prudes.
Dude, I'm not a prude. It's just...PDA <shudder>. Have a little dignity.Quote:
Originally posted by Inner Stickler
Maybe it's the train thing. It seems so wrong on the train.Quote:
Originally posted by SarahfeenaDude, I'm not a prude. It's just...PDA <shudder>. Have a little dignity.Quote:
Originally posted by Inner Stickler
Absolutely not. I've never had it before, why should I start now?Quote:
Originally posted by Sarahfeena
*begins macking on people on the train*
Quote:
Originally posted by Inner Stickler
IT'S PART OF MY CHARM.Quote:
Originally posted by Inner Stickler
*eyetwitch* Do you have any idea how stupid what you just said was? Every gram of fat has 9 calories and every gram of carbs or protein has 4 calories and insoluble fiber isn't digested. By adding those things up you are--wait for it--COUNTING CALORIES.Quote:
Originally posted by Some person, somewhere else
You know, drug store that has a Post Office contract, I understand that you are a hopelessly fucked up store. That's why we stopped getting our prescriptions filled there. But I can't go to another Post Office to pick up my parcel. Neither can the other people who have parcels there. So, really, even for fuck-ups like you, don't you think it's wrong to close the Post Office for an hour lunch break in the middle of a Saturday afternoon in December? Hmm?
Oh God, Rube. That reminds me of the PO in the small town I lived in before this. They were open from 9-4:45 and closed an hour for lunch Monday through Friday. On Saturday, they were open 9-11. Because it was rural service, they only delivered to a few of the houses in town. Everyone else had to go in and get their packages from the office. Meaning that if you had a normal job, it was next to impossible to get your mail.
OK, fine, so internet-date-guy was apparently not so much "shy" as "completely not interested in me". ::sigh:: :smack :( :fail:Quote:
Originally posted by Orual
Also it's raining and my shoes are wet.
:(
Find something to kick, Orual. Kick it hard!
:: punts a wastepaper basket::Quote:
Originally posted by Zuul
I plan to deal with my vexation as I do many vexations: by building death traps for my Sims. :suicide::madsci:
Hey Hawk that ran into my window and broke it: Fuck you. Fuck you very much. I hope it gave you a whopper of a damn headache. Stupid suburban hawk.
Hey work: do you think that maybe, just once, we can work on doing some preventative maintenance on exterior doors and lights in the spring, summer or fall? I'm fairly sure crawling around on hands and knees on top of a solid sheet of ice with a fucking propane torch to make the dock locks work isn't an electrical issue, nor is it any kind of right.
Hey, menfolk of my household: when it is agreed that y'all will take care of the snow and ice, do that. Not a half-assed midway through the snowfall and never get back out there bullshit effort, but actually do it until the job is FINISHED. As in, steps, porch, sidewalk and driveway all thoroughly cleared of y'know, snow and motherfucking ice. Scattered salt or ice melt is acceptable.
Oh, and when you say you'll take care of our friend with cancer and dig out her 3 foot porch and path to her vehicle? Maybe 3 in the afternoon the next day isn't an appropriate time to wander over to see if it's magically melted away!
And furnace? Yeah, you know you're guilty. You can just stop with the cutesy acting up and do your damn job, too!
Grr!
Let it out, QT!!!! You sound like you need it. :)
Dear Fucking Pedophile Who Tried To Film My Good Friend's Rape,
That was a year of my life I'll never get back, you fucking cock. Everything that happened goes back to you. I lost a job, I lost friends, and I nearly lost my mind because your pretend reality where you weren't doing illegal things behind closed doors brought down a fuck ton of bullshit on the rest of us. So, no. I do not want to be your friend on Facebook. I do not want to speak to you at conventions. I do not want your little minion trying to talk me into forgiving you for dismantling my life so thoroughly. Stay the fuck away from me.
No Love,
Marsilia
P.S.
You are a bad, bad person, and everything in me wants to go all stabby on your face.
P.S.
You are a bad, bad person, and everything in me wants to go all stabby on your face.
I think the double post gremlin agreed with you Marsilia
As well he should...geez, Mars, I'm really sorry. :(
WTF is it with people thinking Facebook makes bygones be bygones? Fuck that.
Bah. Unless your friend has cancer of BOTH LEGS there's no reason she can't get her fat ass outside and chisel her own goddamn car out of the glacier.Quote:
Originally posted by Queen Tonya
But I appreciated the thought nonetheless. :)
I really really want to stab him in the face.Quote:
Originally posted by CatInASuit
Exactly. And, he does this every time he comes across my name for any reason. I friend someone who happened to friend him, he has to try to friend me. One of his friends sees me out in public, he has to try to friend me. As he really is a registered sex offender, I've tried to get him kicked off Facebook, but he keeps popping back up. I'm not sure if he's just lying to them about the charges, or has convinced them that he's being harassed, or what.Quote:
Originally posted by Sarahfeena
Could you maybe report him for harassing you to the actual police? Assuming you have told him to not contact or friend you.
It seems like being a registered sex offender is plenty of reason to not be allowed on Facebook or any other location like it that teens use regularly. What is Facebook's policy on this?
From what I've been able to find, Facebook is pretty lax about getting rid of sex offenders. They've claimed that they're taking an offensive position against them, but while MySpace went through last year and found 90,000 of them and deleted their accounts, Facebook says they've only found around 5,500. :dubious:
So is it that all the pervs like MySpace better? Doubtful. More likely, Facebook just isn't doing a very good job about it.
I can't actually report him for harassment, since the last time I answered the phone when he called was nearly four years ago. I've told several mutual acquaintances that I can't forgive the dishonesty and can't wrap my head around the other stuff he's done. Within the past couple of years, I know of at least one girl (I think she might have been of age) who he got exceedingly drunk, watched her tell one of his friends to quit touching her, then told the would-be rapist to hold on while he got his camera. The man is sick, twisted, and in need of a good face stabbing.
I've found myself wondering if my uncle's lake ever dries out.
So don't leave us hanging. Were you able to cook the person in such a fashion that you no longer hated her, or was she like Brussels sprouts -- either you love them or hate them no matter how they are prepared and served.Quote:
Originally posted by Zuul
I've found the addition of molten cheese tends to solve this problem, whether discussing Brussels sprouts or people.Quote:
Originally posted by Muffin
Yanno, you're in the fucking snow belt. If you can't drive more than 10 MPH on a road with no traffic, and less than a quarter inch of snow, and plenty of sand: GO SOUTH FOR THE WINTER!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK, I left my package of Christmas gift-cookies on the kitchen table because I was trying to be a nice roommate and share. THIS WAS NOT AN INVITATION FOR ONE OF YOU GREEDY SNATCHPASTRIES TO TAKE THE WHOLE GODS-BEDAMNED PACKAGE.
I only got 2 frigging cookies! :(
Dear Evening Standard, I don't mind if a puzzle has multiple solutions. I do mind if you have misprinted the problem so it has NO LOGICAL SOLUTION WHATSOEVER giving me a headache as I try to solve an impossibility.
Sleep.
Oh sleep.
Sleep, you fucking bastard.
Why won't you come to me?
Dear Seventy-Five Degrees Fahrenheit,
Why are you not warmer than this? My feet and hands are freezing, and I was having muscle spasms last night that I think were because my body forgot how to not shiver. Please, stop being so cold.
No love,
Me.
Seriously? Did y'all forget that it gets cold here? You're not allowed to complain about the cold if you're not going to wear a coat.
It's bad when your initial mental response to every new task your boss throws at you is "lick my balls", especially when you don't actually have balls, right?
The canteen has run out of bottles of Coca Cola.
This is an emergency, someone get me some Coca Cola now, and I don't mean Diet. :\
Oh no you poor thing. There were days I didn't have access to a Coke at work, and it was literally all I could think about. Damn, that stuff is so addicting it should be illegal.Quote:
Originally posted by CatInASuit
I have a headache, and Monday was not kind. Tuesday had better be better.
The bus heater partially melted my backpack. Not cool.
It rained all weekend. Again.
And it was cold and grey.
Can we have some sunshine please.
Dentist Office: When you give me a "courtesy call" about and upcoming appointment, shouting in the phone and blowing out my eardrum is not a "courtesy".
If I wanted to be yelled at over the phone, I'd call my mother.
Hey boss, this unflappibility that makes me a good person to toss extra projects at -- I guess you figure that means I'll remain unflappable when you never give me anything that I ask for from you?
Anxiety blows goats. That is all.
My two favourite puzzles in the Evening Standard have been replaced by scrabblegrams.
Bastards.
Seriously, dude. You can give me the title, the author, and a freaking page-by-page synopsis. I still need to know who the order is for, and that IS NOT PRINTED ON YOUR MEMBER CARD!!!!
OK, seriously, like: My mother, my kid, my clients, all of you: The phone carries sound. YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT INTO IT!
IT IS NEVER GOING TO STOP FUCKING RAINING AND IF I AM PREVENTED FROM DOING LAUNDRY TONIGHT I WILL GO ON A TRI-STATE KILLING SPREE.
Also, if you say you need me to do a bunch of printing for you, because you're going to pick it up at 9:30, and you STILL HAVEN'T BOTHERED TO COME GET YOUR SHIT by 11:30, I should be allowed to stab you to death with paperclips. And throw your shit out the window.
Congratulations on trying to cause fear and concern by saying that radiation from Japan has now reached Scotland.
If only the amount itself was not really, really miniscule and have very little effect.
Idiot reporting at its finest.
OK, is everybody who knows me going on Mellophant, figuring out my IRL identity, realizing that yelling into the phone annoys me, AND DECIDING TO YELL AS MUCH AS THEY CAN?
I can't take my 4-year-old anywhere because he WON'T STAND STILL and he WON'T FOLLOW WHERE I'M GOING IF HE WANTS TO GO SOMEPLACE ELSE. It's making COMPLETELY INSANE.
ME = :woowoo:
actually, as a conservative christian..I'm really OK with someone being queer...as long as they don't HAVE GAY SEX. The bible says nothing about your sexual tendencies, it only talks about your ACTIONS. So stop uphill farming, you welsh bastards, and you can still go to heaven.
Have you considered getting the kid a leash? Some of them are sort of cute.Quote:
Originally posted by Sarahfeena