My fingers have been loosened by cheap off-brand vodka and I am now quite willing to inform you guys that I am so awesome it amazes even me, despite my own jadedness.
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My fingers have been loosened by cheap off-brand vodka and I am now quite willing to inform you guys that I am so awesome it amazes even me, despite my own jadedness.
There's probably a very surprised look on the face of the unicorn on the left. Minding his own business, out in the field...
You know those stupid videos of random anime images set to popular songs on youtube? I masturbate to them.
You know what? You really are a better man than I; I would never have confessed to that.
I once shot a man in the outskirts of Carson City just to watch him die, but his life was saved through emergency surgery.
Given your other thread, I would have expected the Dave Foley bit.
I once shot a man, just to watch him die.
Then I got distracted and missed it.
Oh, I asked my friends to describe it to me, but it wasn't the same.
I fought the law and the law won...
My semen makes an excellent silver polish.
Do you have a monkey butler?
A better question: have you ever fucked a re-tard?
Ha! Drunk? That's nothing. i'm on pain killers, tranquilizers, and sedatives. My typing is on autopilot.
I am woman, hear me roar in numbers too big to ignore.
There's a party in my mind
And I hope it never stops
There's a party up there all the time
Let's party till we drop
hahah.. Oh God, Excalibur, I'm going to have nightmares for that last image.. Not right.. Not right at all.
Fuck you, you terrible whore.Quote:
Originally posted by Clayton_e
That statement is overly ambiguous.Quote:
Originally posted by Excalibur
I haven't felt like this since....Funkytown!
I am pure Rape Lincoln from now on. someone please change my username.
I am drunk.
I traveled back in time and found Lincoln to be exactly as depicted in snuff films.
I miss read this as "Fuck you, you turtle whore."Quote:
Originally posted by Excalibur
I was sitting here trying to figure out where you came up with that phrase. Turns out it was my psyche's own creation.
Oh my God. Brilliant.
So: I see no contradiction to the obvious fact that I am a million times better than you guys.
I expect more gratefulness from now on. I am gracing you guys with my presence. Please show adequate respect.
Make me.
I'm not much for the swears, but I think I might have to use that.Quote:
Originally posted by RoOsh
And Excalibur really is drunk if he thinks he's more magnicifent than I am.
Posting drunk is against the rules. Knock it off. Don't do this again.
Your sobriety privileges are currently under discussion by the imbibation team.
Imbibibi, imbed, imb, immmmmbibbo...
huh?
Your words are hard.
I can't be the only one that thinks Excalibur is pathetic now, can i?
J
I worship the water that Excaliber walks across.
Also I've long had masturbation fantasies about a threesome with Marge Simpson and Lois Griffen,but people look at me as though I were mad when I tell them the fucking weirdos.[]
Well, I'm getting drunk, though I doubt I'll be as lucid as friend Exy. :) But I'll try.
Today, here in Australia, is ANZAC Day. That's similar to Veterans' Day in the US, but for both Aussies and Kiwis. It's a pretty big deal (as it should be) where we honour all our vets, especially those in WWII and WWI (and in particular Gallipoli). At least that's how this Yank sees it. It started just for the WWI vets, but it seems to have spread to encompass all the vets in service, which I think is a good thing.
It's a very nice holiday with lots of parades and church services. My boy is too young to understand but I still made him sit through it.
I never served -- I was fortunately of the age where I did not have to. But I have a great deal of respect for anyone who takes on the responsibility for whatever reasons they choose. There are certainly dumb wars, but that's not the soldiers fault -- and in AU and NZ and US and lots of other places they do an amazing job, and I admire them for it. I admire their courage.
So here's to all the men and women who sacrificed to make this country, and all the western countries, free. Free hearts, free foreheads... one equal temper of heroic hearts...you deserve our best respect.
PS -- Exy, you are one bad nonny!
What i hate about Anzac Day is that leading up to it there are always stories on Today Tonight and A Current Affair complaining about how some Anzac vet didn't get his way somehow leading up to Anzac Day.
"They've made their march on this street in this small country town every year. But then the evil Mayor comes along and realises that legally they need insurance to do this, they can't pay, so they can't march!"
"This digger just wants to fly his Australian flag, but local laws say it's too big!"
"This returning soldier parked in a no parking zone and got a ticket! THE DAY BEFORE ANZAC DAY!"
J
Agreed. But that's because TT and ACA are both sleazy tabloid 'journos' with no respectability who just want ratings. Every day they have a sensationalist headline -- why should Anzac be any different??Quote:
Originally posted by The J Word
I'm sure most of us - well, some at least! - know what it's like to be the only sober member of a party of drunks, or even the only straighthead among a group of trippers, and know how excluded one can feel as a result, so I think we should all arrange to be drunk at the same time.
Come on, let's pretend it's an important social experiment!
I really don't want you to feel left out. What can I do to be your chief enabler?Quote:
Originally posted by ivan astikov
This seems like a good place to try out an embryonic domebo meme:
St. Fulc*
*Shut the fuck up, leave cake
Seems like the Patron Saint of Sulfuric Acid.
Are you criticizing CC's baking skills?
No... no it's really not a good place. Please stop posting.Quote:
Originally posted by CairoCarol
Oi, you ferret-featured fucker, that's my unborn meme you are summarily dismissing. Just watch it!Quote:
Originally posted by hatesfreedom
Allieration memes are so 2003.
All retro becomes fashionable at some point! This might be my time?Quote:
Originally posted by beebs
You may have posted that lightheartedly but that sounds like a bloody good idea.Quote:
Originally posted by ivan astikov
I'm totally up for it but I'll need a few days notice.
Right, I'm gonna get a 2 litre bottle of cider and stick it in the fridge in readiness. Gawd help ya!Quote:
Originally posted by lust4life
No, I'm drunk!
Oh, wait, that's Spartacus.
I am now much too hungover to pretend to find this funny.Quote:
Originally posted by CairoCarol
Excalibur's hungover -
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!~!!!!!11!!!12!!!!1111
Aw, poor baby. You need a huge, greasy breakfast to fix you right up.
Why is this thread even here? Does Excalibur not have a blog?
J
He saves his blog for rants about Hollywood Jews.Quote:
Originally posted by The J Word
Nice.Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
But i didn't rant.
If you have a view on the topic please post it in the relevant thread.
Unless you think "Jew" and "Hollywood" can't be mentioned int he same thread without offense intended? Fool.
J
Ear wax makes outstanding lip balm.Quote:
Originally posted by Excalibur
(I read this in some Boy Scout field guide.)
HEY EXY, HOW ARE YOU TODAY!!!! :smash:
Well, I just woke up but thankfully without a hangover. That's mostly as I chugged a bottle of one of those so-called "Vitamin" water drinks - basically sugar water with a tiny amount of vitamin additives. (Interestingly enough, the rapper 50 Cent made a fucking fortune when he invested in the stuff a few years ago.) I also drink water throughout the night when I wake up to pee (which is often after a night of heavy slurping). However, I am damn tired because I woke at 6am and I really hoped to sleep in. Ah well. At least it's Sunday.
Is there anything you don't masturbate to, Exy?Quote:
Originally posted by Excalibur
Porn?
A picture of his dad?Quote:
Originally posted by MsPurlMcKnittington
His anus?
My anus is a fucking work of art.Quote:
Originally posted by leander
Well, it's certainly been studied enough.Quote:
Originally posted by Excalibur
Surely you meant 'studded'?Quote:
Originally posted by leander
Actually leander is a great admirer or Exy's ass. He can stare for hours and wax eloquent about its magnificence. Why do you think Excalibur has such a high opinion of it? :smack
Ain't that the truth. It's like the blackhole of munificence! :)Quote:
Originally posted by Glazer
The more things change...Quote:
Originally posted by Exy
I've barely had a drop in the last month or so. :(Quote:
Originally posted by Zuul
But you still think you're better than us. :sci:
This thread has been raped by the Rapist!Quote:
Originally posted by Zuul