Well? Where the fuck is it?
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Well? Where the fuck is it?
Did it fall out of your pocket on the bus?
Ok. Tell me all about it. ::takes out pad and pen::
(Looking around) ...No, I don't see it...
Oh, by the way, what's an oyster card?
Its a plastic card (usually blue) with a chip inside that you can use to pay for public transport in London. See here.Quote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
Ah, okay.
I thought it was some frequent-dining promotional card from Long John Silvers.
Which remind me, I would really like some hush puppies right now.
I was wondering how you could possibly shuck an oyster with a card.
Mmmmmm.....hush puppies. I might just have to break out the deep fryer this weekend.
All joking aside, that sucks, and I hope Nancarrow finds it. Failing that, I see from the website it's possible to register them in case of loss or theft. I hope you did that (knowing that I probably wouldn't)
There was this restaurant, I don't remember the name and don't remember where, but they had the best hush puppies in the history of the WORLD. It was south of here. Or maybe it was Cleveland.Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
Now I want hush puppies, too.
Out of deference to the lost oyster card, we could take a bus to get hush puppies.
I like to dip mine in tartar sauce.
The best hush puppies in the world are served in North Carolina. Especially the ones at Bridges BBQ in Shelby. They look more like corndogs than normal hush puppies, but they have just the right texture and seasoning. Perfect for dipping into the sauce and munching.
I've always given mine away. I didn't know they were good. i thought they were fried batter left from the fish.
:eek:Quote:
Originally posted by jali
Hush puppies are marvelous! Truly what the gods eat at their BBQs. Although, originally, they were leftover batter, fried up and tossed to the dogs to quiet them down. But they've mutated over the years into corny delight.
That look of horror made me smile.
I'll try some and let you know.
What da heck are 'hush puppies' that you can eat?
Over here, Hush Puppies are an item of footwear.
I think we can safely say this thread has been hijacked.
Yes, but don't look at me for having the missing credit card!Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
Does the oyster card have debit card functionality? Because, if accepted, it could be used to purchase hush puppies.Quote:
Originally posted by ivan astikov
Hush puppies. Yum!Quote:
Originally posted by ivan astikov
You know what would really rock?
A hush-puppy stand called "The Fucking Oyster".
It would only sell hush puppies, deep-fried Twinkies, and Cherry Dr. Pepper.
Or Cheerwine. Maybe RC Cola as well. Oh, and Moon Pies.
I like your stuff better.Quote:
Originally posted by silenus
Let's go with the Moon Pies and RC.
I love the Fucking Oyster!
Road trip!
If this is too bold, please push back, but I nominate The Fucking Oyster as the official
fictional restaurant of Domebo.
Thoughts?
Moved and seconded.
I have some GREAT logo ideas.
Sorry, my clam ate it.Quote:
Originally posted by Nancarrow
Quote:
Originally posted by kenner116
My God! That could be the logo!
That's kind of cruel considering the man lost his fucking Oyster Card.Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
A cab then?Quote:
Originally posted by RoOsh
Yes we need lots more catchphrases, that is what makes an internet forum great.Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
paraphrased as clamato?Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
I refuse to have anything to do with the Fucking Oyster unless it also serves beer. Beer and hushpuppies are just made for each other.
(Besides, I figure this is the perfect thread for drunken posting tonight - so we definitely need more beer in here.)
If we add beer to the Fucking Oyster menu, it can only be one type of one brand.
Say, Genesee Cream Ale...or something else cheap and poundable.
Oliveloaf - I'm posting from Rochester.
Of course I'll be willing to support selling Genny Cream Ale! Gotta keep the brewery open! :D
But, I'd agree to anything so long as it's not Red Stripe.
Wow.
I would love a plate of hush puppies and a cold beer right now.
Really. That would be awesome.
The ones I'm talking about looked like the fingers of particularly fat children.Quote:
Originally posted by silenus
Fat children made of corn.
Ladyfingers of the Corn?
What is the Oyster Card?
I move that the Oyster shall be accepted at the Fucking Oyster, but only with the purchase of combo meals.
A gift certificate for a Rolex of course. I'd be hacked too, if I lost one.Quote:
Originally posted by Limp Prickles
I get what the Oyster Card is (I have something very much like it to use in the laundry room here), but why is it called an Oyster Card?
What is this....public...transportation....you talk of?
It's the method of choice for arriving in style at The Fucking Oyster.Quote:
Originally posted by Shirley Ujest
Cause the world (or at least London) is your Oyster with it?
I've lost my Oyster Card too, but that's not too bad as I doubt I'm going to be in London any time soon. More annoying is the loss of my Pass Navigo, and I'm in Paris at the end of the month!
Willing to trade Metrocard for admission to Fucking Oyster....
Can't you just ask the police to kindly look through their vast stockpile of surveillance camera data for a recording of where you lost it and what subsequently happened to it? After all the BS about how putting everyone under 24/7 government observation would make their lives so much better, it would be nice to see them actually do so.
You know, kind of like having an elder brother who's looking out for you.
Deal. Hope you brought your belching shoes.Quote:
Originally posted by Count Blucher
Well fair enough that the thread was hijacked, I didn't exactly put much effort into it. And I've never been responsible for even the teensiest intarwebz meme, so please do all continue to visit The Fucking Oyster as often as you can (thankyou Oliveloaf), and I shall take some comfort in that.
I don't think it fell out of my pocket on the bus. I normally keep it in a card holder with about 15 other cards in there. There is now precisely one empty slot in it where The Fucking Oyster Card should be. How do these things happen? There remains the possibility that it is in my flat. My flat is a 3x4m room with a little shower room and 'hallway' (space for a front door to open) attached. But, most of those 3x4m are taken up with piles of paperwork, bags of rubbish, laundry in various states of cleanliness, books, files, dirty dishes. I suppose I should clean up.
Needless to say I did not register it to protect against loss. Fortunately it's pay-as-you-go and only had maybe a fiver of credit left on it, so I'm not bankrupted or at risk of extortion or identity theft as far as I know. But I'll be fucked if I have to pay £2 for a bus ride for much longer. And the tube can certainly go fuck itself til I find that card. Except, oh shit, I must go to college on Monday to hand in some coursework! And I can't spend time looking for the card! As I've hardly started the coursework yet! And I'm posting here! Fuck!
I've also had a couple of days of fever and a week of the shits. So I'm not a terribly happy bunny. But typing the word 'fuck' repeatedly does seem to ease the pain.
Too many hush puppies?Quote:
Originally posted by Nancarrow
If it helps you, I lost my ID badge today.
But the lady still gave me a discount on my food cuz I was sweet about it.
And then I found my ID badge 13 minutes later in the hallway where I first entered the building.
Perhaps this will help you in some way. Keep the Faith, OysterSoulBrother!
Charter members will always get a 20% discount at the Fucking Oyster*.Quote:
Originally posted by RoOsh
*Alcoholic beverages, tax and gratuity exclude. Offer not valid in states will more than 300,000 residence. The Fucking Oyster reserves the right to end this promotion at any time without warning. Fucking Oyster employees may not be legal residents, and may not be fully trained in food preparation or sanitation. The Fucking Oyster accepts no liability for illness or accidental death as a result of employee negligence, depression brought on by post binge-eating regret or colon-stretching flatuence. The Fucking Oyster is a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Dipilatory Products division of Union Carbide LLC. All Rights reserved. Member FDIC, FSLIC, UNICEF and Student for Free Hand Guns.
I trust you'll be using 100% pure lard to fry the hush puppies. Go with tradition.
Mmmm, Genny Cream Ale and hush puppies. Hope you have a lot of toilets there handy, too. I'd suggest a row of porta-pots out back.
I was thinking more along the lines of a vomitorium.Quote:
Originally posted by krisolov
The FO is now hiring.
Nah, I think you should go with Pearl.Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
Genny, Pearl, Iron City...any cheap-ass beer will do.
Balentine Ale
Old Style (quite poundable when ice cold)
PBR all the way. Onlt thing to drink with Hush Puppies.
My only complaint with all those other beers is that they're not normally found inside oysters. :tongue:
I'd be willing to wait tables or wash dishes.Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
I insist upon being paid in PBR and hushpuppies, though.
I have a question: why are my lame threads never hijacked and given a dose of the awesomesauce like this one? Huh?
You people make me sick, although the food might have something to do with that.
Well I know exactly where my Oyster Card is.
It's right by my bed, here in a village in rural Greece.*
No problems for me if I need to hop on the tube.
*It really is, and has been for a few months. Just lying there in its little blue wallet. I have no idea why.
What, you got something against hush puppies?Quote:
Originally posted by AllWalker
Communist.
Just pondering a hush-puppy sandwich.
Like, on a long roll, with melted cheese and mayo.
Oh God.
You'll serve alcohol to Canadians without requiring to see our passports (when we look all of our 40 years old), right?Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
I can't do it. I can't do a starch sandwich, even if it's deep fried starch.Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
Do I have to turn in my Fucking Oyster Card? *sob*
That's okay - for you I'll make my famous grilled fat and fat sammich: grilled avacado and cheese.
Quote:
Originally posted by OtakuLoki
Is there any mayo or ranch dressing involved here? I hope so.
Ooh, or like som Arby's Horsey Sauce.
I could go for the Arby's Horsey sauce. Do we want it for a dip, or spread inside the sammich?
Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
Holy shit you guys.Quote:
Originally posted by OtakuLoki
We may be close to developing a signature sandwich for the Fucking Oyster. If we go with sandwiches at all.
The Double Puppy Fuck w/Cheese.
Long roll, spread with mayo on both sides, a generous helping of hush puppies, piled high with thin-sliced avocado, and then slathered
with American cheese and toasted until the cheese is bubbling.
Served with a side of ranch or Horsey Sauce for dipping, and a prepaid cell phone with 911 on speed dial.
The Double Puppy Fuck w/ Cheese ValuePak(tm) includes an Olde English 800 tall boy and a neck rub from a
retired escort-service employee. $8.99 plus tax.
Good lord, I never knew I could get indigestion just from reading something ...Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
Quote:
Originally posted by Orual
Does that mean you want two, or just one? :lol:
I think they should be called Fuck Puppies. And in Canada, we'll call them Puck Fuppies.
A Double Puppy Fuck D-Lux(tm) would come served with chili, cheese and onions.
....I hate you guys.
Now I'm hungry.
oh God... I'll have a Double Puppy Fuck D-Lux and a roll of toilet paper, please.
You people are literally nauseating.
I understand doper picture threads much better now.
Think of it as cullinary masterbation.Quote:
Originally posted by Excalibur
we could also add Fuck Puppy Minis.
for the kiddies.
I like the way you think. :)Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
Shall the Fucking Oyster have a breakfast menu?
And should it involve sausage gravy?
If the Fucking Oyster does go for a separate breakfast menu I think it should have sausage gravy.
I'm not convinced that it needs a separate breakfast menu, though.
OTOH, how would people like the Scotch Puppy Fuck? Described, here:
Ingredients:
1 long roll, as used for the Double Puppy Fuck
2 hard boiled eggs
4 oz breakfast sausage, uncased, unformed, raw
6 oz hush puppy batter
sausage gravy
2 oz grated cheddar cheese (optional)
Directions:
Take the hard boiled eggs, wrap each with a thin layer of the breakfast sausage, then coat each in a similar layer of the hush puppy batter. Deep fry. Remove eggs from fryer, and cut into quarters. Place eggs on roll, cover with a ladle's worth of the sausage gravy, and sprinkle cheese, if wanted, on top.
As always, the prepaid cell phone with 911 preprogrammed is complimentary with your purchase.
I'm actually starting to want to try making this. Must resist... After all, can't eat pork any more.
Quote:
Originally posted by OtakuLoki
I am in awe.
That sounds good, in an "Extreme food" kind of way.
I'm thinking there would be defibrillators every 10 feet or so.Quote:
Originally posted by OtakuLoki
Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
I think we should call them Chunks. Fuck Puppy Chunks, with a rascally puppy mascot. With an eyepatch or something. Maybe a peg leg, too.
Quote:
Originally posted by BiblioCat
Yeah, but they don't get to take the AEDs home. We'll need those at The Fucking Oyster.
Chunks it is!Quote:
Originally posted by krisolov
What's the mascot puppy's name? is Fucky out of line?
No, no. Chunks is the dog.
Chunks!Quote:
Originally posted by silenus
"Hey Kids! Come to the Fucking Oyster this Sunday to meet Chunks!"
Yup.
I like Fucky better than Chunks - it made me snort out loud. :)Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
Someone with some talent has to put together the marketing program for the FO.
Well, no, of course not. But with some of the sandwiches you guys are suggesting, the waitstaff will need to be trained in how to use them.Quote:
Originally posted by OtakuLoki
It's not too hard, aim in the direction of the person clutching their chest and gasping, yell "clear!" and throw the switch.Quote:
Originally posted by BiblioCat
Then again, maybe all the chairs should just have built in defibrillators with control switches on the table so other members of the dining party can just throw the switch and continue with their meal. "Billy, Daddy's having an M.I. would you be a dear and flip the switch and then pass me the salt?"
That thing with the sausage gravy sounds good.
Will you be serving these at The Fucking Oyster? It's a cone made of bacon, filled with scrambled eggs, topped with sausage gravy and a biscuit.
They'd fit right in with the theme. Mmmmmmm.....
Quote:
Originally posted by featherlou
I think Fucky works just fine. It's a heart-warming name for a mascot.
Just remember he's a shill to sell Chunks. Lots of Fuck Puppy Chunks. Or else Fucky gets a beating.
So...tempted...to change sig line...Quote:
Originally posted by krisolov
please feel free to do so. Fucky needs the support.
Fucky needs friends. Along the lines of the Hamburgler and Mayor McCheese.
I miss this thread.
For old times sake.
You have to do better than that if you want to revive it! ;)
I hadn't dreamed as big as reviving it, only had hoped to ask those who would to savor its charm.Quote:
Originally posted by Sarahfeena
Can something as wonderful as the Fucking Oyster really be relived?
I always picture two oysters in the same shell...
Holding hands?Quote:
Originally posted by Sarahfeena
I had missed the thread when it originally appeared, but thanks to Oliveloaf I have been able to savor it in all its oystery goodness.
Mmmmm.
Let 'er die son.
Okay - I have to ask: Has anyone been insane enough to try any of the recipes in this thread? And if they were - how did they taste?
::clapping hands, stomping feet and shouting::
Wait.
Isn't this the revival?
::wanders out, confused::
Holy shit, I didn't realise you guys actually pulled all the threads over from domebo. What the fucking fuck was wrong with the name domebo anyway? Fucking faggots. I have a new Fucking Oyster card by the way. So fuck you.
Oh yeah, about those kids menus at The Fucking Oyster. You know, the ones with the Fucky the Dog mascot on them. We should call them 'Kiddie Fucks'. Seeing as how this board is only a pale shadow of the SDMB anyway. May as well get in the "edgy" "topical" "fucking" jokes while they're fresh.
Mmm... kiddie fucks.
:smack As if this thread wasn't awful enough the first time.
Hi Nancarrow! There was a big hullabaloo about the name change at the time. I'm glad you found your oyster card!
No, no, no. I believe we're supposed to be a pale shadow of the GB, not the Dope. Common mistake.Quote:
Originally posted by Nancarrow
I want hushpuppies.
Tell me about hushpuppies, Orual.
Fuck Puppy w/Cheese Kid-D-Meal, please.
(Includes Fuck Puppy sticker book and temporary tattoo.)
Hush puppies are what happens when someone decides to deep-fry little pieces of cornbread. They are nuggets of pure deliciousness.Quote:
Originally posted by Zuul
I found a restaurant out here that served me hush puppies and beer WHILE PLAYING LIVE BLUES MUSIC, and it was the best night ever.
The End.
::makes a note to go to San Francisco::
That was a beautiful story, thank you.
Oh! The kind you eat.Quote:
Originally posted by Orual
I thought you wanted help shutting up some dogs.
:: puts away shotgun ::
Carry on.
:)
This proves it...Oliveloaf is completely recovered from his traumatic experience.
So what was this odd thread actually about? I remember it from before and never figured it out.
Fine dining.Quote:
Originally posted by What Exit?
Well what is an Oyster Card then?
Will the bathroom utilize the Three Seashells technology?
Oyster CardQuote:
Originally posted by What Exit?
I'll stick with my paper travelcard, thanks.
I miss these:
http://ktransit.com/farecards/US/images/chi-tkn01.jpg
Now they make cufflinks out of them. Wonder how many are still floating around out there, in peoples' junk drawers, dresser trays, change purses, etc.
Be nice to frame a few of those. Very cool.Quote:
Originally posted by Sarahfeena
On the other hand, when I saw the Chicago transit system in operation this summer, I was left wondering why the hell Toronto still uses tokens.