Clothing advice thread for non-tools

I've decided to augment the correct use of an umbrella, in rainy weather, with some sort of hat. I'm not going to wear a fedora, nor anything that looks too-outdoorsy...when I go hiking, I use my own gear, which is not, IMO, appropriate gear for a city.

Also, I need some non-athletic shoes or boots that I can wear with casual wear, like sportcoat/slacks/overcoat. Not sure about just getting regular athletic-shoe types in black or brown uppers, even though I have a source for those i certainly could procure and would be OK from a distance.

The only criterion for the latter is that they can be worn for 6-7 miles a day, just through the city, even with wool socks, without getting blisters, like my regular dress shoes.

I still will never understand how detectives/cops in the movie go on these epic foot-chases wearing wingtips and shit.

OK, so I got a nice, regular raincoat with an awesome removable liner suitable for wearing over a suit or sportcoat.

New black dress shirt -- maybe a little gangsterish, but I like black, and my two other ones are broken.

Navy blazer in the mail now.

Screw the rain hat -- I'll just use an umbrella.

Doc Marten "Chelsea Boot" in brown leather.

About these latter -- fuck me in the ass, I've only gone maybe five miles in them, and I have blisters you would not believe.

The chickie at the store made a point of saying -- "we have thirty day return, so just hang on to your receipt." I don't think the soles are too scuffed, and that I can meticulously clean them to like-new condition, I am pretty sure.

Is it worth the trouble to try to do an exchange for a different model of walking shoe? I'd be a little sheepish, but I can always have some liquid courage and grow some balls.

I've never returned shoes, but she did make a point of stating their liberal policy, and obviously, I can't be having blisters on my feet.

OTOH maybe I'll get some callouses eventually.

OTOH I've never had blisters -- when I go out and pump out 20-30 miles on the trails, I wear trail runners (essentially sneakers), on the advice of long-distance backpackers with a lightweight (if not ultralight) ethos.

Why not test if chickie was telling the truth about the return? Life is too short to have sore feet any more than you have to. (I've reached the age where every day starts with sore feet, I sure wouldn't want blisters, too.)

Yeah, I probably should -- it is kind of a hassle, but then again the Marten store is right on my commute, and if you don't ask, you don't get.

Oh, here's a fucking winner. It turns out I accidentally ordered two identical blazers, and it appears they already shipped. So yet another hassle. Apparently there is a physical JosABank store where I can supposedly return the superfluous item, but it's way out in the burbs and kind of inconvenient to get to. Fuck. You'd really think somebody would have noticed I likely made a mistake or there was a computer glitch when the order went through.

And to top it all off I still have to send back the Chromebook I bricked to have them wipe the drive and restore the boot sector.

And I still want to send in a couple of busted Zippos for free repair.

This is not my week for wasting a bunch of time on stupid errands.

Some weeks are like that.

Hell, some years are like that.

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Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday

Hell, some years are like that.

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Well that is officially depressing as shit. Yeah, you are right -- sometimes chores are tough -- but I have a hard time conceiving of YEARS of unending little tasks. For some people, they have a way of complicating their lives, but I try to arrange things so I have a minimum of bullshit to deal with. Never volunteer for little tasks, always procrastinate annoying crap like vacuuming or dusting or cleaning the toilet (hey man I'm zen with shit-rings on my toilet -- if some guest doesn't like it, they can go fuck themselves with a loofah), only commit to things you want to do.

I think Chuang-Tzu wrote something like "the hardest thing is knowing what you want"

Just how shitty DOES it look to wear sneakers with a sportcoat and/or raincoat? I just have it my head that it looks pretty sloppy, but maybe the times have changed. I'm not saying wear sneakers with a suit, just for knocking around town and stuff.

I really enjoy walking, and don't feel good abusing my feet.

OTOH, I really value just going with the flow and not abusing the visual flow of regular people.

I dunno, in my experience, unless you're doing something with a bona fide dress code, people don't pay much attention to shoes, especially on dudes. Sneakers are pretty common for most anybody anymore.

Well, sure people notice. And what is regular, casual, same-as-everybody-else streetwear but a dress code?

I've had woman specifically comment on various shoes I've worn before, so it's a real thing.

Dudes notice too -- I just don't think they give a shit, typically.

I was ridiculed on FB for suggesting that nice, new, stylish hiking shoes could be a good compromise for wearing a sportcoat and raincoat around, especially in PNW.

Fuck them, I think they're wrong.

I changed my mind. I already have dress shoes for if I need to go fancy. And for the same price as those Dr Marten foot-flayers I could buy a very nice pair of low-cut hiking shoes with a subdued appearance. Granted, most of my sneakers already have a subdued apearance, but it's the principle of the thing.

So, I guess that's just going to be my thing, and if they don't like it, they can go eat a big bag of hipster bullshit.

Nice thing is, this AM I got up my mettle to carefully inspect the tread of the horrible Chelsea Boots -- miraculously, after up to a half-dozen miles of pavement walking, there is not a scuff, a tobacco burn -- just a little shmutz I can wipe off with a rag. Apparently they have the technology.

But I have the talent to get them to make good on their return policy. I don't even want to exchange at their store anyway. I'm going back to Merrill's.

Unfortunately, it is a PITA to shlep their shopping bag/box down there.

But nowhere NEAR the PITA it's going to be to return that navy blazer -- even if I can do it in person, it's a major hassle being anti-motoring-enthusiast to shlep out to the burbs.

suck my dick bitchez. i finally grabbed my balls together and wasted a shitload of time down at that ass-clown doc martens or whatever store.

saved some money, and got a nice pair of leather loafers. the gaywad at the counter wasnt even too much of a dick -- he ran out to me when I forgot my coffee in the store. OTOH he did ask me if i'd worn my returned pair outside, so he can suck a ball sack for that,

happy with these low-cut, nice leather loafer slip-ons. expensive, but you can all suck my ass -- at least my feet wont hurt.

humorous -- i asked about a dozen randos around campus "how do you like my new shoes?" never heard a bad word. maybe they were scared of me but i don't think so!

i rule!

my two duplicate JosABank coats came in two days ago. Not bad at all -- really nice material, buttons r not too ridiculous.

fuck, I guess 41 fits my shoulders.

now all i have to do is drop a few/twenty pounds to get a more trim fit about the midriff.

nice sportcoat, however.

One step at a time...

Is there any other way? That's the only way I ever heard of.

Well there's getting ahead of yourself ... I assume that means jumping...

I don't jump -- that would hurt my feet or knees. Don't be ridiculous!

As an aspiring amateur boxer, maybe I *should* start using the jumping rope. fuck, couldn't hurt, amirite?

A hundred pushups qd combined with some in-place cardio -- that sounds pretty good. Combined with some bare-knuckled sparring a few times a week (OK beer-drinking included) could be good!

I like it!

WTF? Apparently a 41L (marginaly too big in the shoulders, but good for wearing a sweater underneath, so that's kewl) has sleeves that are fucking short and the overall length seems too short.

There seems to be enough material in the sleeves that a tailor can fix it.

Is it even fucking worth the trouble? It's a nice coat and the whole reason I bought it is so I can wear it.

WTF!!!!! I don't know why these people can't just do their job -- I hate fixing stuff.

Fuck it. I already need a tailor to sew on my elbow patches, because my wimpy needle can't cut through tweed, and also lazy, but these sleeves are too fucking short.

What do they not understand about the "L" size? I'm not Yao Ming -- not even all that tall. It's going back with their idiotic 2x order, and if they're lucky, I'll let them exchange it with a cheap navy suit with free alterations.

Fuck JosABank(s?).

Pain in my fucking ass (not my regular one, mind you).

Bunch of bitches.

OTOH, test drove my new Doc Martens or whatever loafers -- I bet the leather in the heels will soften up, as will I bet it would suck to walk a mere dozen miles in these, but the soles are pretty good. Did a few sprints on pavement -- it was like the detective movies. Sticky soles.

Couldn't wear them to dancing school because of the soles, but fuck dancing. Good enough for not looking like just bumming around town -- a real up-and-comer!

Yeah, that's a phrase I got off somebody trying to tout his apartment building many years ago -- "thick concrete walls, built in 1907, good for up-and-comers!" Gotta love Italian-Americans.

Well that was kind of a sexy lady about my age behind the counter at JosABank -- first customer of the day. No, she wasn't like a stripper, just like a friendly, regular looking woman with a regular looking physique and well-dressed, natch. My kind of people.

She grabbed the dupe jacket and that was fine, held up the other one and immediately said "that's not a long! mislabelled!"

We had some fun chit-chat (my name is similar to a judge her father plays golf with), and she revealed that elbow patches are "coming back!" and I expressed my amazement that she was able to see at a glance the size of the coat.

I have a rule not to ask out service people -- I really do think that crosses the line, and I wouldn't like it if someone put me on the spot if I were in their shoes -- but I really would have liked her phone number. I could sext the shit out of that bitch any day of the week. eta well, fine, if that offends you, i apologize out of respect for this place -- in my defense the phrasing is appropriately ironic and so just deal with it.

So, anyway, got that chore done -- WTF it takes 3-5 biz days for the refund to show up on my card? I'm almost totally broke and I wole have chese and whete!

Oh, here's one -- she suggested an extra-long, "I didn't even know there was an extra long" --"Oh yes! What are you, six-four?" "Well, six three, six four somewhere in there." Dude she knows how to stroke a guy's ego! I bet she can stroke a lot. My kind of gal! Seriously, if you saw her on the street, you'd think "lady lawyer." But more importantly, she was friendly, socially correct, appeared intelligent, well-spoken. That just makes my day having a horrible chore turn into a fun little light-hearted exchange.

Bear in mind I hadn't shaved in two days, was clearly hung-over, and only moderately-well-dressed -- nice sweater, decent shoes, grimy khakis, raincoat (which I think looks sharp, even though it's not raining today) with all kinds of half-burned tobacco in the pocket, greasy hair with only a cursory combing, some BO, didn't have time to brush my teeth this AM, BUT I was extremely polite and well-spoken -- not fancy, just my regular way of being light-hearted, articulate, and polite. Maybe that's my default to flirt with all the gals, but at least I'm damned good at it.

Real contrast between her and the pipe store jerk,is what you're saying?

Night and Day. Tits and Balls.

No, she was yet again someone who knew the shit out of her craft, and was courteous and even eager to engage in pleasantries (not that that matters, but it's still a nice trick). eta, you know -- people who can make other people laugh or feel good via pleasant chit-chat -- well, that's my kind of people. I guess it *is* a trick, of sorts, but it's a nice trick and it kind of separates those those who annoy from those whose company you enjoy.

That's why I like life -- observing how people get along. Obviously i have my own preferences, but it's pretty damned fun seeing everything out there -- and I've been around the block, but still, it doesn't get old to me.

All right, let's talk sunhats.

My finances are dwindling, but I'll be very VERY upset with myself if I don't forgo getting a box of wine in favor of a hat I can wear in the sun. I dislike sunscreen -- it's messy, and I'm skeptical that it's anywhere half as correct as just covering up.

Take elite ultra-lightweight long-distinct thru-hiker Ray Jardine -- he actually made his own little gloves exclusively for use in the sun to protect his hands. And I'd just as soon wear pants and maybe short-sleeve, I can deal with some deep bronzing on the arms.

However, I do not want to age myself prematurely and end up looking like Quint from *Jaws* by the time I'm 40.

Yes, on 15-20 mile walks through the sun, with no shade, I have used a Lawrence of Arabia type thing, just a towel wrapped around my head.

Ball caps are no good -- my hat size is 7 3/4, or, maybe 7 5/8. No regular ball-cap at some store, unless they're specially made for freaks.

Gotta keep ALL sun off my face -- it's just not an option having a lobster-red face all summer.

Also not an option is looking ridiculous -- I'm not wearing a fedora, a coolie-hat, or a sombrero. OK I did used to have a straw fedora that I guess was OK, but something I can just roll up and pop in my man purse when I go inside would be OK. And, no a real "Panama" hat you can supposedly fold into a little square is out of my budget. I don't want to spend any amount of money beyond something that works and doesn't make me look like a fucking asshole.

Man if Panama hats and baseball caps are out of contention I really don't know what there is. Most of the other contenders do look fairly silly it's true. Are you sure you can't rock a Fedora?

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Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday

Man if Panama hats and baseball caps are out of contention I really don't know what there is. Most of the other contenders do look fairly silly it's true. Are you sure you can't rock a Fedora?

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A felt fedora in the middle of the summer?

No.

Even a straw hat shaped like a fedora is...not going to fit in with when I'm outside in the sun with wearing just regular shorts+t-shirt+sneakers. Not for me.

Not fashion-forward, me, I prefer to be fashion-same-as-everybody else.

I guess I could order a ballcap with the right size, and drape a handkerchief over my neck, desert-style, to avoid getting the redneck, BUT, ime, the brims of ballcaps don't cover the whole face, and definitely not the ears.

I'm going to go to an army/surplus store and see what they got, I guess. PITA to get out there, but whatever.

And yes I am right, sunscreen is great, but NOT EVERYTIME YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE TO SIT IN SUNLIGHT (for more than just getting from a-to-b, but actually being outside where there may be little natural shade) TO COAT YOUR ENTIRE FACE LIKE A CLOWN. I'm just not that talented. Seems easier and better to just cover up.

ETA I should say I don't bother with legs and arms with sunscreen -- unless extreme circumstances -- they can get crispy all they want, but I don't want my face looking like a leathered prune.

Yeah, a panama hat would be cool -- real ones are expensive though, and a regular straw hat, I can't shove in my back pocket or man purse without it getting all fucked up.

Well no thanks to you buttholes, I pulled the trigger on http://www.villagehatshop.com/produc...eball-cap.html --

they *claim* fits up to 7+3/4, but I bet the crown is going to be too tiny.

However, the bill is supposedly pretty long, so I can just deal with having my head crammed into a tiny space, so long as it keeps that damned sun off my face.

Mind you, I actually tan pretty well about the legs and arms -- it's just I really don't want my face to be wrinkled unless I'm a shark-fisherman and it's my livelihood and I have no choice.

I went with the color "Navy" -- seems less hit-mannish than black, but still sounds cool.

Also pretty cheap, with free shipping.

I just hope I don't have to return it because of their ineptitudinal sizing schemata.

Nu? Opinions?

Well, it's a look. Myself, I don't care for that long a bill, but everybody's built different eh?

Yeah, I re-inspected the specs -- the bill is only 5 inches long, so I think they took the picture using one of those tricks.

Years ago I did special-order a ball cap built for giant heads, and it was OK. It was black, so it looked ratty from sun-bleach-effect after not too long. Of course I lost it, and now my only concern is not slathering my entire face in sunscreen like Al Jolson.

We'll see when it gets here. I have no doubt the "cap" part will be too short for my head, however much I can extend the circumference.

here's what you people sound like.

Some butthole friend suggested I take these tips.

I politely said, "fuck you."

Hemingway was known for his long-billed baseball caps: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...3f8cb2452f.jpg

Well, I guess Hemingway was a person! lol

Well thanks for putting *that* into my head that I'm copying some old fart journalist!

Here's some more:

(i) I'm liking these Doc Marten (sp?) slip-on leather casual shoes. I've been more than a few miles in them and seems fine. But the fucking SOLES! They're so thick and spongy, I think after a few hundred miles of walking on pavement they're just going to be eaten away. I don't like it.

(ii) i feel a little self-conscious (meaning: i like to do the same thing everybody does, and don't like to stand out in a crowd) wearing my raincoat on a cold weather. I have other coats, but if it's a bit nippy in the morning (like 28 deg Farenheit), it's a little better to my way of thinking to wear a coat that has a little better coverage. AND it does a good job of stopping the wind chill.

(iii) should I drop a Jackson at Costco for a nice pair of jeans? I have all the docker-type pants I need, just wondering if it's worth the trouble.

Obviously, I don't know a shit about fashion, but equi-obviously, I care a lot about looking the same as everybody else. So, you guys.

Never hurts to have a good pair of jeans.

Meh, I don't know, since they'd just be for fashion (the few times I help out sister or mom with manual labor I have some ratty clothes to throw on), seems like a waste of time and money.

I like jeans, but I grew up at a time and in a place when they were probably more common.

hippie

eta I guess I still have some black jeans (with a hole in the crotch, but with black shorts on, can't notice) and some blue jeans with a dime-sized hole near one of the front pockets.

the tragedy is that my "stylish skateboarder" jeans are basically ripped to shit around the crotch -- cannot be worn. and my canvas work pants, same deal.

Anyone else remember those catalogs where Chuck Norris posed for photos doing some crazy kung fu shit, like for jeans with reinforced crotches, and crazy-ass toe socks and nunchuks and shit?

I can't believe I missed that!

Wait, no… yes, I can believe it.

Those were in the early-1980s! They were awesome! Some white dude with a moustache doing a high-kick demonstrating the strength and flexibility of some kung-fu jeans with reinforced crotch! And turn the page and he's dressed like a ninja with those little toe-shoes!

That guy was awesome!

HEY! So here's a real clothing thing -- has anyone actually got a needle and thread to hand-repair some jeans?

I replaced a button on a leather jacket a few years ago, and it took forever and broke a few needles.

I'm REALLY not looking forward to paying the Vietnamese lady $25 to sew on elbow patches on my beloved tweed, ("You already ask me! I say twenty-five dollar!" -- she's kind of aggressive), but if it can be done on denim, with a high-test needle, I can do it on tweed myself. ETA natch I'd tape some corrugated cardboard around my fingers. My momma didn't raise no fools! Well, maybe me, but I have a sibling!

Of course, I'd have to make myself a pitcher of gin gimlets to get through the tedium, but TBH I'd probably do that anyway.

By that second sentence, I was not asking for someone to send me a needle -- and I have plenty of thread -- just, like has anyone actually got it to work (with a heavier-gauge needle, seems to be the way).

I mean, the people at the dry cleaners can do it, so it should be possible, and I doubt they invested in a serger (it's the kind of sewing machine they use to make jeans and stuff -- I think it has kind of a fish-hook-shaped needle or something) just for the odd customer who wanders in.

Cucumber water for customers only!

Wrong person to ask, dude. If the dry cleaner won't do it, the clothes go to Goodwill. I admire your industriousness.

What???? All it needs is ONE elbow patch! (And, some rando told me you gotta do both just for symmetry)! Plus, It'll look cool! Plus, the lady at JosABank said elbow patches were coming back in! Of course the dry cleaners will do it -- I just don't want to pay them what they want for it.

Hey, my hat came in! That bill is NOT 5" long -- it does look more like the picture. But still it doesn't look too strange. And the crown, while marginally too small, actually fits pretty well. I should have gone with black rather than navy, but who cares, as long as it keeps the damned sun off my face.

http://imgur.com/6F9N4na

See? Not too bad -- I just have to avoid wearing it too often so people don't think I'm Ron Howard-style bald trying to cover up.

Yeah, that looks OK. But yeah, guys trying to hide bald-spot would also try to grab that look.

That's what I said! The ball cap is the refuge of the hairless!

Well, whatever I still like it.

And TBH, my hair has been falling out in clumps since I have more stress in my life. I asked my internist if that was "a thing," and he said, "yep!" At least I don't have male-pattern or premature-graying, so I'm pretty confident. I do have a long-term strategy to start dyeing my hair when my graying eyebrows start migrating north -- hey, I'm extremely vain and I just can't be having gray hair at the stage in my life I'm starting a new career.

Also, I probably comb my hair too much -- to compensate, I barely ever bathe (but am perfectly groomed, fingernails, nosehairs, whatever). So that minimizes the damage, I feel. Also, shut up you h8rz! People should bathe when they stink, and wear clean clothes.

IS IT BETTER TO:

give a ballcap the old "redneck roll," or give it a sharp crease right down the middle, like Quint had in *Jaws*?

Not asking for me -- I already went "crease" because then it's easy to cram it into my man-purse. Plus Quint was awesome. As was Robert Shaw. Just in general, I want to poll the crowd like Oprah or one of those reality shows.

My own background is more inclined towards doing things the redneck way.

Well, I don't know that the redneck roll is any less redneck than just making a sharp crease in the middle of the brim. Quint wasn't exactly a college boy.

"heh, city hands, Hooper, not for sharking! ok bring him along as ballast, captain, chief, mate. Hooper drives the boat."

This is too funny, because I did this two days ago, and only just now recognized the comedy in what I had done.

I DID measure the brim of my cap, and it WAS five inches. Almost exactly, maybe a little longer (not joking -- I used my "Rulers of The Art World" illustrated wooden ruler, and it couldn't possibly be inaccurate. no, pedants, I used the word I intended to use, you fucking dumbass cunt: i.e., NOT imprecise)

And I DID say to myself, "it sure looked longer than that in the picture"


That is a true story.

Here's one: obviously, I'm not a fashion guy nor a visual guy in general, but what's the idea behind double-breasted suits? Is that to make dudes look taller? I'd not go for that, but I'm a kind of a curious nature, so what's the deal with that thing?

That's why I went for the raincoat I went for, rather than a trenchcoat. Just kind of, you know, regular.

Also, I had a disappointment at CostCo -- they had some Levi 514 (?) so, 36x34, but they were too tight around the thighs. I could spend thirty bucks at Ross and get some fashion-forward jeans for probably less money.

Nah, it's not to look taller, it's to look cooler.

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Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday

Well there's getting ahead of yourself ... I assume that means jumping...

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After reading this whole thread, I'm guessing he was getting head from himself...

*wanders off*

The tennis racket or the BJ?

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Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday

Nah, it's not to look taller, it's to look cooler.

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Well, I guess everyone knows which side you hang on.

Hey, Humphrey Bogart rocked the 2x breasteds, so I'm not criticizing.

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Originally posted by Jizzelbin

The tennis racket or the BJ?

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The thick lumpy custard. It oozes.

Sounds like somebody is hungry for a delicious creampie.

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Originally posted by spitz

Quote:

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Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday

Well there's getting ahead of yourself ... I assume that means jumping...

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After reading this whole thread, I'm guessing he was getting head from himself...

*wanders off*

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACpkyiVFBok

Yep, that's exactly what I do (that is SFW, AFAIK -- it's a ten-second clip from the parody show *Robot Chicken*).

Well, I don't know why I was dragging my heels on doing the elbow patches. It took like five minutes to tack one on. I can always go back and do it right, and do the other one for symmetry.

See? When you stop trying to do it right, and just do it "good enough," things are a lot easier.

Only broke one needle. Unfortunately it was my last needle.

Also, I have officially sewed on all pants buttons and coat buttons (piece of shit Cellini overcoat, I had to immediately redo the buttons as soon as I got it. I guess the Koreans were off their kimchi that day).

Now all that's left is repair the pockets on a camelhair blazer, and do a better job on this suede patch on do the other one.

Question: I was thinking of buying a Navy blazer (with dark plastic buttons)+charcoal flannel plants and a navy suit.

I think I should buy a navy suit, some charcoal pants, and the jacket can double as a blazer.

Thoughts?

Also, probably should buy better dress shoes. Brown lace-ups seems to be more versatile.

Also, red silk tie. Don't bother arguing, I'm going to buy one.

Thoughts on knit ties in general?

That all sounds fine. If your pants, shirt and jacket will all be solid colors, as it sounds like, I encourage you to get a striped or patterned tie (red, if you have your heart set on it, although light blue, green or yellow also look good IMHO).

Not a big fan of knit ties myself. To each their own.

Well, I'm not sure about the patterned ties -- basically I'm just trying to buy stuff that will last me through the next ten years, and so that's why all this "Navy blue" and "charcoal flannel" and shit.

Anyway, I hate shopping, and I'm a poor bachelor, so I want to make that dollar holler.

I think I might just grab a knit tie, since I'm in a shopping mood. In addition to a red silk tie. So, what color? (There are only two -- blue or red).

Should I buy a replica of (a) Booger's "High on stress" t-shirt or (b) Jack Burton's *Big Trouble in Little China* shirt. Yes, I'd wear it.

Knit tie??? Do you live in a retirement home or something? What's wrong with a normal one, or silk? I recently bought a red silk, it blazes against my cobalt blue dress shirt I got from Russia. Also have some duller ones. And black is the most versatile colour for shoes etc.

Yes, a red tie on a blue shirt usually looks good. I'm not a fan of knit ties myself.

You people have no taste! Booger!

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Originally posted by spitz

Knit tie??? Do you live in a retirement home or something?

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I thought it would look snazzy, duh!

You might as well glue a doily to your face.

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Originally posted by spitz

You might as well glue a doily to your face.

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More like your mom's face.

Stop quoting me you fecking cretins -- AFAIK nobody has me on ignore and nobody's going to erase my posts. So there's no problem.

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Originally posted by Jizzelbin

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Originally posted by spitz

You might as well glue a doily to your face.

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More like your mom's face.

Stop quoting me you fecking cretins -- AFAIK nobody has me on ignore and nobody's going to erase my posts. So there's no problem.

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Until now. They'll strip you naked and go to work on you with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch.

That's what your mom said.

Maybe she'll crochet a shawl for you, jizzle wizzle.

Oh, you are fucking dead, spitz.

Don't wait for it -- it's coming.

You are a big fucking sheila --- and you're going to get it right in the end.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7MwxFdb0Ls

And she could decoupage your wooden furniture with daisies and daffodils and love hearts. Squee!

There is no "squee" in "me."

You fucking faggot.

Say the words!

Then she'll braid your back hair and do your nails for you.

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Originally posted by spitz

Then she'll braid your back hair and do your nails for you.

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wo


That sounds kind of good.

Wait. I don't want my nails done.

Then she'll put a pink frilly pillowcase on your pillow, and give you a nice warm glass of milk before you go beddy-byes.

Stop being such a little bitch, spitz!

I'm a man and I deserve a man treatment!

Don't get upset, grampa. You'll break a hip.

It's all in the reflexes.

Where's my truck?

And also, Egg-foo Jung -- you are fucking dead, you hillblly astronaut. I am going to end you, motherfucker!

Buckle up your seatbelt, you hick son of a bitch, because it's take-off time. One way ticket!

Yes, yes, of course you are. How are those knit ties going?

I'm a classy guy! Going great! How's your sister's face?

What is wrong with the mods around here? You and me both should have been booted off a long time ago.

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Originally posted by Jizzelbin

What is wrong with the mods around here? You and me both should have been booted off a long time ago.

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You fucking monkey-looking Australian. Eat my anus.

Oh, is "dingus" the correct term?

I'll call the nursing home, see if you left your meds there.

Yeah, I'll swing by your sister's house on the way home.

Yeah I got a "man treatment" right here, fancy boy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNFMeT0h-74

Getting back to your roots! I like it.

Yep. Same way I root your mum.

Yeah, well she'd like it -- she likes all kinds of short-dicks.

Yes, they remind her of you.

Like father like son.

Dad? Is that you?

OK you win. I needed the brain bleach first. Blech!

Hi Dad! Is Mom with you?

:barf:

That is fucking nasty.

Make it stop!

:barf::barf::barf::barf::barf::barf::barf::barf::b arf::barf::barf::barf::barf::barf::barf::barf::bar f::barf::barf::barf::barf::barf::barf::barf::barf: :barf::barf::barf::barf::barf::barf::barf::barf::b arf::barf::barf::barf::barf::barf::barf::barf::bar f::barf:

http://i.imgur.com/OXBQcPa.gif

Oh, you are fucking dead, spitz. I'm going to beat your ass until it sings.

Quote:

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Originally posted by spitz

And black is the most versatile colour for shoes etc.

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You might be right -- probably are.

I think they look a little silly with more casual pants, but it could be pulled off.

If you haven't guessed, I don't like putting much effort into "pulling off" a "look" or "assembling" an "outfit." I just want to grab something out of the closet/pantry/floor and be awesome and head out the door strutting with some barbecue, macking like a boss, pimping like a mofo.

That's why I told you black is most versatile. It goes with anything. If you buy brown/grey belt/shoes/whatever, it takes more effort to look sharp. Actually you're more likely to look like Kramer. Giddy up!

Gratuitous 1990s reference! You are an old man!

And I don't resemble a hipster doofus!

Grey belt? Why would I have a grey belt? OTOH my black belt is starting to fall apart -- not to mention the self-punctured holes I've never been happy with (although, I guess it works).

You ozzies probably wear big cowboy belts all the time, with the buckles to prove it.

eta I'm much happier now that I started wearing a belt all the time. It's a hassle to change pants -- you've got to rethread the belt. But nice to know I can rip it off and start smacking. How else am I going to tame that bewitching little filly from logic class? She likes it -- I can tell.

Only the cowcockies do that. I go for a belt that will just meet requirements.

I just realised how old Seinfeld is now. It was so long ago....


GET OFF MY LAWN!!!

Quote:

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Originally posted by spitz

GET OFF MY LAWN!!!

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Lawns are not friendly to the environment.

I think I might be horribly racist and sexist.

I should acquire a wardrobe to match -- right down to the womb broom and the man-perm hair.

eta "cowcockies"? Wow. You guys do enjoy your slang.

Bloody oath, mate. We're bang up for a bit of strine.

I bet a good impersonation of strine would go over pretty good in an ozzie bar, drunk at the middle of the night.

Bunch of tossers, not wearing cow cockie belts. Wankers!

Sure, you'd get a few free drinks if you could bung on a decent accent. If your accent was shit, we'd just laugh at you.

Quote:

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Originally posted by spitz

Sure, you'd get a few free drinks if you could bung on a decent accent. If your accent was shit, we'd just laugh at you.

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A few free drinks? Give me the bottle, then take me out hunting kangaroos! That's what I'd expect!

That, or get into an awesome fistfight!

Wow, you guys are pretty soft out there. "Laugh" at me? I'd expect at least a good fight.

eta yes, I know getting hit in the face and breaking your knuckles hurts, as does being out of breath and almost having a heart attack after a few seconds of fighting. But still! This isn't the opera house! I demand excitement from my hard-drinking, tough-brawling, crude-talking ozzies! I can get in a fight any day any where in america -- I thought you guys were the new cowboys!

Oh you could get a fight pretty easily here, I think. Just be yourself! :p

Good! That's what I like to hear. After you've been drinking, and there's no sheilas in sight, what else is there to do? Tip cows, hunt kangaroos, or fight like an awesome!

You can go looking for dropbears

Or play jazz on the village piano, but we can't all be Kenny G all the time. Or drunkenly call ex-girlfriends and insult them, but eventually, they change their numbers.

What in the hell is a "dropbear"? I'm guessing that's slang for something unsavory.

ETA never mind. Unlike SOME people, I can use wikipedia. Eh, I don't like it -- not enough meat for me.

Jizz, stop being such a prig!

Yeah, I got a prig right here.

Where do you people come up with this "drop bear" stuff? It's pretty entertaining. Don't come to the US or a jackalope will get you!

Actually, on a more serious note, coyotes are kind of getting upsetting around me over the past year or so. No, I'm not scared of them, but they make annoying noises at night, and they kind of skulk around (when you can see them) in little groups and have a funny walk -- almost like they're limping. True story.

Sounds like the dingo situation here. Except dingoes aren't ugly.

Did a dingo eat your drop bear?

Quote:

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Originally posted by Elendil's Heir

Did a dingo eat your drop bear?

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FINALLY THE TROOF EMERGES!!1!1!!

See? Look at that! Respect the EH! You ozzies got nothing on Yankee ingenuity!

Hey, I didn't call him a fruit or a weener, or a Hugh Grant fan. You were rougher on him than I was. Dirty Seppo.

Quote:

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Originally posted by spitz

Except dingoes aren't ugly.

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You've got to be taking the piss, right? I heard dingoes are pretty nasty creatures.

Actually, I thought they were all killed off, pretty much.

So, back on the clothing tip, I wonder why someone hasn't fashioned some kind of clothing out of their hides -- maybe a hat or something?

And, what's the general idea behind using animal parts for clothing? Snake-skin, shark-skin, alligator-skin -- those kind of sound bad-ass. I don't think I can afford any of that right now, but sounds kind of cool.

Naw, I'll stick with cow-hide and natural and unnatural fibers.

Quote:

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Originally posted by spitz

Hey, I didn't call him a fruit or a weener, or a Hugh Grant fan. You were rougher on him than I was. Dirty Seppo.

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Oh, that's it, spitz! You're gonna get a beating!

Dingoes aren't so bad. We have much worse than dingoes. They are in plague proportions. We have to cull them occassionally.

I doubt knit ties could be made from animal hide. And if they could, they shouldn't be.

Ey, you can only beat one thing, and that prolly wouldn't take much.

Quote:

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Originally posted by spitz

Dingoes aren't so bad. We have much worse than dingoes. They are in plague proportions. We have to cull them occassionally.

---

So, really? You think dingoes are like fluffy Pomeranian dogs?

Is that true?

(as an aside, a relative shared on FB a picture of a 2.5 year old Doberman -- it's kind of cute, actually, and I don't like pet dogs much).

Yes, I heard that "knit tie" remark. Bill Murray wore one in *Ghostbusters*!

Still, a hat similar to a Daniel Boon raccoon hat would be pretty cool. I wouldn't like to be responsible for taking the life of a good dingo, but maybe roadkill or something.

Dingoes are somewhere between the stupidly wild extremes of coyote and pomeranian...

Bill Murray used to beat his wife, and cheat on her. I don't see him as a role model.

Croc and roo skins are popular here. I guess your favourite is (not making this up) a purse made from kangaroo scrotum.

Well, I don't usually wear a purse, but that does sound attractive. Maybe a gift for my mother or sister -- holy shit! Logic lady needs one!

It's like the door-button test from *Bronx Tale* -- if she doesn't run away or hit me, she's a keeper!

I don't know about Bill Murray beating his wife! Cheating, I can believe, but it's a man's world. Anyway, he's not a role model for me -- just a prominent celebrity.

''I got you a purse. It's made from kangaroo scrotum. Enjoy!''

''Oh wow, it's lovely thank you so much <3 <3 <3''

Wait, about the "run away or hit me".......that doesn't sound exactly like.....oh, hell with it, she can keep up. OR, I will gentlemanly refuse to chase her with my alligator scrotum offering.

Quote:

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Originally posted by spitz

''I got you a purse. It's made from kangaroo scrotum. Enjoy!''

''Oh wow, it's lovely thank you so much <3 <3 <3''

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Exactly! Then she'd pretty much HAVE to say "yes."

Quote:

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Originally posted by spitz

''I got you a purse. It's made from kangaroo scrotum. Enjoy!''

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And she may not appreciate that I call her "logic lady," unless she's a big *Twin Peaks* fan.

Quote:

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Originally posted by Jizzelbin

(as an aside, a relative shared on FB a picture of a 2.5 year old Doberman -- it's kind of cute, actually, and I don't like pet dogs much).

---

Supposed too be MONTHs old dog. What do they feed these things? I think she breeds Dobies, like as a hobby or something. Anyway, not too sure who she is -- just she has my same last name.

Fucking cool.

No, I don't hate dogs -- I just don't like the owners, generally.

Dingoes seem pretty cool, actually. I don't want to hurt them.

So what do some people keep them as pets, like in the outback and stuff?

I've got it all planned out. Wear a knit tie, a shirt without any holes in it, a nice blazer, and just some pants without any holes in it, some loafers, and totally accost Logic Girl during seminar.

She's going to be my future bride!

And also the kangaroo scrotum "offering."

This is going to be great!

She just doesn't know it yet.

And, no, I don't need to man up -- I know what I'm doing!

OTOH, if she shows up with some creep boyfriend, I'm going to fight.

But I'm still wearing my knit tie -- I think it will look snazzy.

Quote:

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Originally posted by Jizzelbin

Anyway, not too sure who she is -- just she has my same last name.

---

That's not true -- I've met her and I know she's related to me. I just don't remember everybody's exact names.

I am going to rock this woman's world! This is going to be great for her. Also, she is going to cream herself listening to me play Brahms for her -- after having showed her my private library.

Oh, man, she is not going to regret this.

I dug out from my closet a few short-sleeved shirts from when I lived "back east." Vaguely floral-print shirts.

They wear kind of cool in hot weather, from the wearer's perspective.

However, I think they make me look like a bum.

These are shirts with no holes in them, no torn hems, clean, and with attractive patterns.

And they also don't show the sweat-stains, that I can see.

But, still.

It seems like only hobos, surfers, and musicians wear this kind of shirt.

So what am I supposed to wear instead in hot weather? T-shirts get soaked. Athletic synthetic 'performance' shirts are fine, but they get ratty after you use them for their intended purpose for a few-hundred miles. Dress shirts are kind of ridiculous.

All right you Kansas City faggots, I pulled the trigger on this suit. Cheap as hell, but apparently JosABank is not doing their sale on "Executive" model navy blazers. They want almost two hundred clams for the same blazer I ordered two of a few months ago, and had to return because they screwed up, for less than half the price.

I guess 40L is good enough -- I assume the trousers aren't finished, so I'll either tack up the hems myself or go to a real tailor.

I'm extremely worried this is going to not only (a) look cheap (which it is!) but (b) the jacket won't pass for a real blazer for more casual wear.

You Philadelphia lawyers wouldn't be caught dead in a suit like this, but what about for a guy like me, just for the odd job interview and all that?

It can't be THAT bad, can it?

and, yes, butthurt brigade, 'kansas city faggots' is a quote from a movie. it's called "scilicet" -- look it up.

I have a for-tools-only question:

I've never ordered any "fitted" clothes like a suit online -- I found a cheap navy suit, which turned out to be either mislabelled or just plain the wrong size.

The last suit I bought was in a store, and they just took my measurements and did stuff to the suit and I came back in a few days and it was great.

But what's the deal with the typical unfinished slacks of a suit? I know all about the hems and in a pinch could tack them up myself for a cheap thrill.

But the waist? I don't think I've seen advertised online the waist size of the pants.

I know a tailor can do all that, fix the waist, but that's far beyond my abilities, except insofar as I have trust in my belt.

I have a for-tools-only question:

I've never ordered any "fitted" clothes like a suit online -- I found a cheap navy suit, which turned out to be either mislabelled or just plain the wrong size.

The last suit I bought was in a store, and they just took my measurements and did stuff to the suit and I came back in a few days and it was great.

But what's the deal with the typical unfinished slacks of a suit? I know all about the hems and in a pinch could tack them up myself for a cheap thrill.

But the waist? I don't think I've seen advertised online the waist size of the pants.

I know a tailor can do all that, fix the waist, but that's far beyond my abilities, except insofar as I have trust in my belt.

I've decided I don't need a cheap suit -- I'm not going to work as a loan officer at a bank. The costs in tailoring alone make going with suit separates (by the same company, same style -- trust me, it's a thing) better.

It pisses me off that Jos A. Bank wants like $600 for the same blazer I got for like $80 and had to return because they sent the wrong size.

Fucking assholes.

Hell, I already have plenty of sportcoats -- just not one in navy. They just need some needle-and-thread.

OK, so I have a black camelhair blazer, a nice silk houndstooth sportcoat, a tweed that just needs me to sew on elbow patches, and another houndstooth in a black-and-white.

The black blazer is a little biggish on me these days, but I think with a light grey V-neck sweater, shirt, tie, and either dockers or grey wool pants, and black shoes, that could pass for interviewing to pick up some office temp job for a month or two.

Or, since it's summer, houndstooth.

Or use the tweed with a tie and slacks -- it looks good and professorial.

http://imgur.com/FQRLF2V

Sunhat. You don't know how many years I've secretly coveted a sunhat, but never got around to finding one.

Costco. On *sale* at Costco -- you know how rare sales are there. It isn't like Uncle's Day at a whorehouse, let me tell you.

Plus, it keeps the sun off my face.

Plus, I think Serpico wore something like this on an undercover operation in the movie.

try http://imgur.com/WhDtfGV try http://imgur.com/YRm2H1q try http://imgur.com/95nPgWG

So to go from looking like "a beekeeper or a very odd-looking old woman" (quote from FB) how does a cowcockie do up his hat? Also I cannot figure out how cameras work.

Check it bitches!

I'm stoked to have been picking up new glasses this morning. My first prescription pair of plastic-framed shades -- I've always used aviator-style frames, but thought it was time for a change.

Yeah, so the clasp to the flava flav watch broke I'm no mechanically inlined, so https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0...?ie=UTF8&psc=1.

Also, http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...ilpage_o03_s00. Yeh, I figure 42L is close enough -- better err on the side of caution. No worries. I can always wear a sweater underneath.

Damned right, though --https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00HN22GLE/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o04_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Also, and a big-ass umbrella: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0...?ie=UTF8&psc=1

And some boring computer cables and stuff.

ACTUALLY good old low-cut Chucks are not too bad for walking the concrete warehouse floors.

It's been a dog's age since I've worn these (they've just been sitting in my pile of shoes for years), but with thin nylon or composite socks, they're pretty OK.

I think instead of going for the many pairs of boot-cut trail-runners or running shoes I have lying around, I'll just stick with these.

Also WareGirl wears flat-soled shoes last I noticed, so maybe I can trick her into thinking she doesn't need to clear her birth-canal of unwanted matter when she's around me.

ETA Unless she wants to. I hope she doesn't want to. :)

EETA But the problem is: "That goddamned jackass is copying my footwear! I should have one of my coven cut his dick off!" Well, AFAIK, she doesn't wear Chucks, and even if she did, so do lots of people. And I can fight off a pack of angry witches, pretty sure. Also pretty sure there aren't any of those around now, if ever.

Here's some goofball doing a short Youtube review of a watch I just bought.

Casio MTP4500 — slide-rule bezel, chronograph, stainless steel.

Extremely basic, but I felt it was time for an upgrade.

I do miss the dual analog+digital readouts for different time zones and for ease of chronograph use, but it's OK.

I think I'm going to pay a jeweler to remove one of the links from the wrist band — sorry, that's just getting ridiculous, like watching a bear ride a tricycle, me trying to hammer out one of the retaining pins, and I think it would be much worse me trying to hammer it back in place.

I think this will be a bit sturdier for around the warehouse, since my new kick is trying to measure and compute the efficiency of various managerial decisions, compared to the correct way, using combinations of tractable algorithms and data structures

Plus, what I can't do in my head, I can just use the slide rule to get a rough approximation.

I'd call it a good purchase, although it seems of a size more suited to Presidential tiny-hands than mine. But that's fine.

What the fuck is the deal with crotch holes developing in every pair of jeans I've ever had?

Admittedly, this last pair was from Costco, with the Levi brand, but while my balls are big, they aren't hanging low like the old guys at the YMCA.

Do I need crotch-reinforced Chuck Norris jeans? Or perhaps I should find where "specially manufactured for <Costco, or whatever>" Levis aren't sold...I don't know where you'd buy some Levis that aren't specially "enhanced" for specific stores. AFAIK there isn't a Levi-Strauss store in my town, except maybe some outlet store way the hell out.

Well, you can't see the crotch hole (OK, I admit I just like saying that phrase) in normal use, but it still bothers me.

And not owning a serging machine, nor much knowledge of anything sewing machine, except needle and thread for routine repairs, it can't be fixed.

I like the fit, I like the bit of lycra for active work, I like the color, I like that nobody expects jeans to be immaculately clean (cf. ZZ Top, "Blue Jean Blues"), but crotch-rot after a few months is ridiculous.

Let's say I measure them like shoes — for hiking shoes, I expect about 800 miles. These jeans only got me about maybe 200 miles of walking. Ridiculous.

And a man in my position can't afford to be made to look ridiculous!

//////////

ETA And also, riddle me this. What's so fucking hard about changing a watch battery on a quartz analog watch? People make a big deal out of it. I think in principle these sorts of watches can all have their guts exposed. What am I missing here?

Quote:

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Originally posted by Jizzelbin

(i) I'm liking these Doc Marten (sp?) slip-on leather casual shoes. I've been more than a few miles in them and seems fine. But the fucking SOLES! They're so thick and spongy, I think after a few hundred miles of walking on pavement they're just going to be eaten away. I don't like it.

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Oh, since this is obviously important, I should update (before I knew "Doc Marten" was a straight-up Nazi). After a few years, the outer soles and stiiching has held up.

And the yellow "signature" stiching has faded away. Which is good for me -- I don't care for that "detail."

And they could use some new insoles.

But maybe.......I don't know a few hundred miles on pavement....their longevity is pretty good.

I don't know, people still drive Nazi cars, so, while I'm not happy about the provenance, I don't think I'm going to get rousted as a closet Nazi.

BUT the outer soles are more resembling leather-soled shoes.

And I haven't bothered to use a brush and apply some treatment to get rid of the inevitable scuffs on the uppers.

Hmmm.

I really regret to say this, but they were a darned good loafer, and still are.

Damn right.

I don't do Amazon Prime, but of course I used the "Free One Month Trial" to get shipping savings. Note to anyone watching: if you don't use AMZ prime, immediately cancel after use so your card doesn't get charged.

I do have a small 10% discount, but that's not much.

Carharrt Men's Rugged Relaxed Fit Cargo Pants

Merrill Moab something trail shoes

And, a new ballcap made for bulbous heads, with an extra-long bill

And a rechargeable marine air horn.

Supposedly should be here by Sunday when I get home from work.

But judging by the clouds of reefer smoke coming from the van drivers' vehicles and their general idiocy, I wouldn't bet on it.

//ETA Oh, and, yes, it is true that Carharrt's waist sizes are pretty "true to size" — I'm embarrassed to say that I have trouble sucking in my gut to get into their waist==36.

Well, that's what belts are for, I guess. That and the handy top button WHICH IS OPTiONAL!!!!!

But, something to work towards, and I think AMZ sells real Carharrt's, not "specially made for Walmart" or whatever.

The Big head ball cap is the best I've used that accomodates a large crown as well as the trivial circumference size.

It has some stupid logo on the front, but whatever. Also, supposedly UPF 50. The bill is not as long as I'd have liked, but is adequate.

////

The Carharrt cargo pants seem fine. Not heavy fabric, but not wimpy fabric. Probably good for light duty.

///

The Merrill Moab whatever shoes fit well, seem sturdy, but are just overpriced sneakers to me at this point. I don't think they substitute for work boots, but lateral stability seems fine. They're pretty ugly — they look like K-Mart blue-light specials, but who cares.

I bet 600 miles on these, at most, before the somewhat aggressive tread is sanded off and the toe part of the sole starts to separate.

Goddamned fucking A, I feel like a chump for buying this razor.

Yeah, I was at the grocery picking up some "supplies" (i.e., tobacco and alcohol) and after two or so days, I wanted a fresh disposable razor to cut through the stubble.

WTF is this, "Bromley's Classic Razor" bullshit?

I can't believe I fell for some impulse buy — OK, so now I have the razor "base" and one cartridge.

Well, it was the same price as one pack of a dozen single-blade disposables which, IME, take forever to get rid of the incipient beard.

Oh well. Apparently I'm a "Bromley's" man from now on. The cartridge/blades didn't seem outrageously expensive, so, I guess that's what's what.

In my defense, it's pouring down rain, I look like an unshaved hobo, and I'm half-drunk and really wanted some tobacco. In addition to wanting to restore my "wine cellar."

Probably not the best frame of mind to be shopping for things.

//ETA And this is not in line with my desire to accumulate only things which allow me to travel freely at any moment. It appears one can purchase straight razors with many blades cheaply.

No matter.

Oh well. Even if the million-bladed wonder that is the Bromley's only lasts one or two shaves, I suppose it's worth the expense.

AND, I do like a closer shave than I can get with the disposable razors. I think it looks and feels better.

OK, I need a little advice.

I found a $500 navy blazer in my nominal size (42 XextraLong) on a clearance sale for about $70.

It arrived today. The shoulders fit perfectly, the length of the body and sleeves are perfect.

However, there's a slight problem with, you know, buttoning the jacket. It could be done with a Robert Mitchum-style "suck in the gut" or maybe an elaborate system of trusses and compression undergarments.

It's possible that I could just sneak the top button over towards the center a bit, with a few minutes of needle+thread work.

HOWEVER, it's fine unbuttoned, and I plan to lose twenty pounds by the end of Lent.

And the material is a very nice super-fine (I think is the term) wool, and getting trim is a good thing to aspire to. The cut of the blazer is clearly designed to be for a very trim person about the midriff.

Just HOW important do you all think it is to button a blazer, even if worn with a tie and some nice pants, etc? For something more formal, I'd wear my one charcoal grey suit with some subtle pinstripes. But I'd hoped to be able to use the blazer as a substitute for all affairs not requiring actual business attire.

And, no, I don't believe it's my modest gut that is the problem. As I believe is correct, the size of the jacket refers to the breadth of the chest, primarily.

So, there's nothing I can do about it. I can't reduce the size of my shoulders and the pectoral muscles. No, I don't have bitch-tits, just a sort of broad upper body.

So, in conclusion, they're making jackets for sunken-chested twinks.

Apparently.

However, if the shoulders fit correctly and the length of sleeve and torso are correct, I don't think there's anything to be done except to have a bespoke jacket made, which seems ridiculous for a simple blazer.

For more active wear, I've still got the larger-sized camelhair black blazer and the tweed.

I wonder if any of the regularly-shaving-type-people have had luck with using the traditional "butterfly-opening" safety razors that take the older-style disposable double-edged razors.

Not really a clothing advice topic, but it's close, and it has to do with my goal of having an extremely compact, versatile set of clothing and grooming materials, should I need to flee to the streets and yet avoid looking like your average hobo.

Plus, it's supposedly possible to get a very close shave with these, and is more compact than trying to shove dozens and dozens of disposable razors in my "bug-out" bag.

And, no, I don't have any intention of becoming homeless any time soon, but I still like to be somewhat prepared.

In theory.

eh, so for...I don't know, since I decided I should wear at minimum a ball-cap style hat to keep sun out of my eyes and when I have the moonroof open, stop from looking like a beach volleyball player past his prime, I've been experimenting with ball keeps that can do 7¾ inch head.

I found an OK one from a group called FlexFit, just plain black ball cap, but it fits weird.

So I ordered another one in the sort of fatigue military style, just arrived today.

https://i.ibb.co/qk26K2d/2020-07-30-183433.jpg

Fits in circumference tolerably well, and doesn't have a lot of extra fabric up top like a trucker cap.

I'm keeping it, but while I admire those in the military infinitely more than some civilian peace officers, I'd not want to pretend to be a part of their crew or disrespect their traditions.

It's just a style of hat and it fits, to me.

What do you think? Fits good, has a brim for some additional shade, is basic black, not various camo or anything, and it's the only kind I can find with a non-adjustable circumference band that reliable doesn't look ridiculous when I push it up off my brow for extra visibility.