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OK, I had a brainwave and chose to try it out. I'll start with a partial sentence (a question), which can be completed by the next poster. Said poster answers the question they just completed, then supplies their own partial sentence... hopefully, much hilarity will ensue. Capisce? So...
Why is that goitre ___
covered in polka-dots?
Where did the velociraptor _____
hide the Twinkie?
Is that smell ______
really coming from your feet?
I can't believe that _______
the REM song ''Believe'' isn't more popular.
Take off your ___
hat when you're indoors, you ill-mannered oaf.
Keira Knightley is a fine actress, but _________
probably useless as a bricklayer.
Sometimes it seems _____
like the haters outnumber the players.
As I was walking on Broadway _________
I was witness to an attempted mugging, foiled by a guy dressed as Iron Man.
I don't always________
dress like this for the cabaret, but when I do people mistake me for the main act.
A wolf in __________
sheep's clothing could use a better tailor.
A stitch in time __________
is useless if the stitch is not executed correctly.
When I got home, ____
I passed out on the welcome mat again.
Tomorrow morning, I'm going to _______
go back to bed after the alarm goes off.
These chipmunks are starting to _______
develop laser weapons, and that can't be good.
My neighbors are simply _________
atrocious (it's true, too).
My back wouldn't be sore if I stopped ____
carrying around small hippos.
You've never seen anything so _______
unforgettable as certain internet memes.
Why, when I pressed the button ________
, did the cybernetic gerbil pop out?
It's been at least fifty years since the last time _______
my ugly brother got laid.
Why does everybody always tell me to ________
wash my feet???
Mom always used to say, ______
don't listen to your father.
I knew getting a driving licence _______
could not legally involve chasing pedestrians.
If only my sister had warned me that _________
If only my sister had warned me that she was trying out her unusual sex fantasies in the garden shed.
I really hate it when my houseguests __________
spill rancid eggnog all over the cat.
You wouldn't believe how often my cat ______
steals the bedclothes and kicks me out when I'm asleep.
Having waited half an hour for a bus _______
, I'm now trying to escape the crazy person who was staring at me the whole trip.
If I'd have known ____
...how useless a degree in political science would be, I would gone to clown college instead.
Although the chef's use of soy sauce and cherry juice was creative, the meal nevertheless....
was ruined by the alien reptile invasion.
I just can't see why _____
those ruffians had to poke my eyes out.
I tell you, sometimes it's not easy _______
being green.
If I had a dollar for every time _____
I saw a unicorn, I would still be very poor.
Oh my goodness, what on earth _____
can get this stain out?
And there was I merrily in my own drunken haze when __________
a leggy supermodel unzipped my pants.
Flying over the Sahara Desert, I often ________
tell the pilot to keep the cockpit door closed while I indulge my secret acorn-and-flying-over-the-Sahara-desert fetish.
I'm not laughing at you, I'm __________________
..I'm..... remembering something funny from yesterday yes, that'll do
If the grass ain't green, then _______
they probably have a dog who pees all over it.
A fool and his money _________
... enjoy their time in Las Vegas.
Waiter, my soup has _____
no sense of humor whatsoever.
Sometimes, it's just not worth _________
running naked down the street (except for the sporran of course) in an attempt to get my ex-boyfriend's attention.
When that craving washes over me, I just ____________
... pour the nacho cheese directly into my mouth.
After work, I love settling down to _____
...a hearty repast of Funyuns and malt liquor.
The best time to get a haircut is ________
right after growing my hair really long and robbing a bank.
Bank robbery just isn't like it was in the old days; now __________
that I have this hook for a hand.
I'm going to steal a yacht and head for the Caribbean, where ______
the grass is green and the girls are pretty.
Greater love hath no man than this; that he ________
appears in Brokeback Mountain and doesn't worry about its impact on his career.
I've never seen a movie about gay cowboys, but _______
if I ever did, I would hope it starred Gilbert Gottfried and Walter Matthau.
The one Muppet I always admired most was _________
the one who never appeared, due to the Trilateral Commission's malign influence behind the scenes.
If you ask me, all of those wacky conspiracy theories __________
are smokescreen being thrown by the Knights Templar, Bilderberg Group, Bavarian Illuminati, and Monsanto, in order to hide their true aim: bringing about a Monkees reunion tour in 2014. (Sure, Davy's dead. You would believe that.)
In the beginning, God created the heavens _____________
and really should've just stopped there.
Call me Ishmael _________
and if you're at least a "C" cup, call me twice.
A priest, a preacher and a rabbi walk into ________________
immortality in the Bar Joke Hall of Fame.
The chicken crossed the damn road because ________
it was stapled to the chicken from the last damn chicken joke.
If I'd known you were coming, I'd have ______________
run for the hills.
When I look in the mirror, ______
why does my reflection look horrified?
When diving into a deep blue sea, ________
I'm always on the lookout for Thomas Jane and LL Cool J.
Now that it's the weekend ___________
the week has ended.
If I was a little taller, ___
I could look down your dress.
You may call me a voyeur, but ________
you don't really need to call the cops, do you?
I realized the gravity of the situation when ___________
I was plummeting to the Earth at about 800 mph.
Orbital skydiving just doesn't appeal to me, because ________
there's like a 35% chance I'll land on land, man.
The first rule of Fight Club is _____________
bring cookies.
I find your lack of faith ___________
on the bathroom floor all the time; wouldja clean up after yourself once in a while, ya slob?
All dogs go to __________
pee and poop somewhere, sometime.
I could tell you, but then I'd have to _____
eat a bag of cockroaches.
I am so drunk,_____
I could teg uh marl barl sumfin ortle wuzzle. Come back 'ere!
I don't always drink beer, but when I do, _____________
I turn into a classy-yet-grizzled older gentleman.
On Sunday mornings ___________
I light a candle to the memory of Douglas Adams.
I know I look a trifle disheveled right now, but ______________________
you would too if you had my personalities :woowoo:
A stitch in time ____
happens pretty frequently on Star Trek; how come no interesting space-time anomalies ever happen to me?
My hand itches because _________
space-time anomalies always give me a slight rash.
I have never been more certain in my life that ______
velociraptors make terrible pets.
I can't imagine how this day could _______
mark the expiration of my dear grandmother AND my half-and-half.
Trespassers shall be _______________
flayed alive while being forced to listen to Justin B.
Cruel and unusual punishment is just _______
fine by me!
If a tree falls in a forest, ______
and nobody is there to hear it, does it make my ankles look fat?
We hold these truths to be _____________
unpleasant, so we will bury them under a metric fuckton of booze and denial.
All Gaul is divided ________
as to the merits of Miracle Whip versus mayonnaise.
Take these broken wings and _______________
stop playing bad Christian rock.
Ask not what your country can do for you; ask _____
where the hell the bathroom is at this miserable music festival.
Two roads diverged in a wood and I ______
mistakenly took the one that led to the isolated cabin of a serial killer.
If my ghost could haunt you, it would ___________
probably be so unnoticeable that, hell, you'd never even bother to arrange an exorcism.
My strongest memory of seeing The Exorcist is ______
my head spinning 360 degrees while popcorn spewed from my mouth.
4 out of 5 dentists surveyed agree ______________
they're really tired of responding to surveys.
The sign on my lawn says __________
BEWARE OF WIZARD! (Trespassers will be toad.)
I never get tired of talking about ________________
myself.
I'm going to assume your hasty departure is due to _______
the Ex-Lax brownies I served you two hours ago for this very reason.
When in Rome, ___________
do whatever you damn well please. It's your city now!
A stitch in time _______
strongly resembles post #70 of this thread.
I thought I told you never to ____________
floss your teeth with a knife!
I think, therefore ___
I'll probably blurt out an inappropriate comment any moment now.
I'm confused by _______
those multicolored lights I see at intersections, and all the beeping and honking I always seem to hear.
Before I ever say "I love you," I always _____
pass gas as silently as possible, then look at the dog in an accusing manner.
They never again invited me to a church potluck ___________
because I ate all the tater-tot casserole.
Whenever I got to the movies _________
in my misbegotten youth, I always went to the X-rated double feature.
Kids these days are just _____
spoiled by the easy availability of internet porn, unlike when I was a kid and we had to figure out how to deviously acquire and cleverly hide Penthouse.
This photo reminds me of _______
that time I saw the photographer get attacked by a tiger.
My mama always said, "Life is like _________________
a box of Crunchy Frogs, just before the police arrive."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dy6uLfermPU
People who post YouTube links to Monty Python sketches are obviously __________.
knights who say NI! NI!
May your dreams ______
come true, that is unless you are having those disturbing dreams about Condoleezza Rice again.
When I was a child, I ________________
was chosen to represent my district in the Hunger Games, but I was eliminated in the first ten seconds because I accidentally stepped off my disc too early and got blowed the hell up.
One thing Republicans and Democrats can agree on is ___________________
that Ralph Nader is a tool.
Yes, I'm still seething about 2000.
Be sure to look both ways before _____
doing both of those things :dubious:
Wise men say ____
very little, in my experience, while morons won't shut the hell up.
If I were king for just one day, _____________
I'd give Hatshepsut a billion dollars.
When the going gets tough ___________________
, the tough try to figure out how to earn a billion dollars to then give to Hatshepsut.
For my second billion dollars, I think I'll _____
repeat what I did to get the first million.
All is fair ___
in love, war, and political campaigns, as we're about to learn all over again.
Hitler, Tojo and Mussolini really just should have _____
stayed in bed.
For every action, ___
some righteous fool on the internets is indignant about it, and will happily tell you why.
If I had a nickel for every time ____________________
someone should have given me a dime, I'd have half as much money as I actually do.
Buying a lottery ticket is ______________
my last, best chance for financial security.
Whenever I check the weather _____________
lady out on the TV news, her impressive and sustained weight loss makes me feel guilty about the extra poundage I cannot shed.
I was innocently minding my own business when ___________________
Gloria Allred held a press conference to announce that she was going to sue me for $10 million.
I wish all those TV lawyers would _____
be replaced by space cowboys or magicial adventurers.
The first thing I saw in the forest was __________________
a giant bear licking his lips and grinning at me.
Giant bears really ought to _______
unleashed at a Tea Party rally.
I don't know if I should be embarrassed or not, but _________________
I paid for this red velvet cloak, and by God I'm going to wear it.
Whenever I see a horse, I _________________
uncontrollably shout, "Fuck your Mitsubishi!"
With the help of my trusty blender, the _______________
door-to-door encyclopedia salesman who kept bothering me will now keep my family in spicy sausage for many years to come.
If you're going to eat spicy sausage, _______
save some for me.
I'm tired of always being the one who has to ___________________________
clean up the bone fragments.
The combination of orange juice and dried milk really __________
contributed to an interesting feature wall when I brought it up :barf:
Blesséd are the cheesemakers ____
and all producers of dairy goods, I'm pretty sure I heard Our Lord and Saviour say.
If Jesus were around today, ________
he'd have an awful lot of explaining to do.
Whenever I'm feeling blue __________
I stop watching the Smurfs.
When all is said and done, _____
wait five years and give it a gritty reboot, preferably directed by Christopher Nolan or someone like that.
The difference between a preference and a fetish _________________
is that my "preference" is a harmless quirk that is no one's business but my own, where as your "fetish" is unspeakably gross, as are most activities that somehow involve Walmart.
Are you trying to say that _________
my 10-foot-tall statue of Moloch is somehow offensive? This is why I hate Homeowner Associations!
When darkness fell ___________________
due to his comically oversized and in no way suggestive horns, it took two production assistants to help Mr. Curry and his muscle suit to stand back up.
Wise men say only fools rush in, _________
but that's just because they think they're wise.
Ed Wood's movies certainly __________
suck more than Edward's movies.
For every action ____
there is a non-zero probability it will be repeated 23 posts later.
I used to think you were a nice person until ________________
I got out and actually met some nice people, and frankly they leave you in the dust.
No true Scotsman _______________
would refuse a deep-fried Mars bar, you fiend!
When I saw the sign, I __________________
had to touch the wet paint.
It's so cold, _____
the penguins keep nicking my thermals.
I was splashing in the puddles when ________________
a really big guy with splash marks on his pants grabbed me and punched me, and I really don't remember much after that.
If you need help, just ____________
stop being so needy!
If Hatshepsut sees another repeated sentence in this thread, ______
she will quite possibly hunt down and kill us all. Slowly.
Yo mama so fat, __________
she'll eat anything, even the end of this se
I really felt a bit outside my comfort zone when ___________________
the weasels began gnawing through my underwear.
I'll confess that after I heard what Nancy had done, I ___________
resisted the urge to push her at once into the Grand Canyon only by remembering the oath I swore to my dying Uncle Sydney, who (don't ask me why, because he snuffed it before I could ask him) actually thought that Nancy was something other than a waste of organic matter.
I just wish that old coot Uncle Sydney had ________
not embarrassed the family with all the sexual harassment law suits pending against him when he died.
My dream vacation consists of ________________
a goat and a watermelon.
If everybody looked the same, ____
having sex with yourself would gain a whole new meaning.
While flipping burgers on the Barbeque, ________________
I thought I noticed what might be a human pinky in the meat, so I quickly slipped it into a bun and handed the burger to my least favorite relative.
What are you staring a ME for, I'm not the one who ______________
came to the family reunion dressed as a Muppet!
I may not have much, but at least I have ____________
a necklace made from the ears and molars of those who have wronged me.
I'm not saying the dude was gay, but ___________
he showed zero interest in my feminine charms, and what other possible explanation is there?
Look, if I'm boring you, you can always ____________________
troll on Mellophant.
If this place were any more crowded, _________
there might be two people here!
I hear there's rumors on the Internets _____
that you can sometimes find naked pictures!
The last time I drank a margarita __________________
I had eight, and remember nothing else about the occasion.
Drinking too much is ______
going to make you pee several times a night.
When the sun goes down, _____
I'm strongly tempted to jump naked into the nearest swimming pool, although the cold usually discourages me from carrying through.
The last time I had a massage _____________
John Travolta kept barging in and offering the guy money for... "other services."
I, for one, would be just as happy if John Travolta never ___________
criticized my cooking again.
A recently published study found that 4 out of 5 Americans _______________
build their lives around meaningless statistics.
Sometimes when I'm alone, ____
I devise meaningless statistics about solitude.
When my kid sister is alone, she invariably ______
smokes cigars, gulps whiskey, frets about her muffin tops, and paces through the house cursing her ex-husband.
For me, the one deal-breaker in a relationship is __________
thinking that Yoda could beat Gandalf in a fight.
The next time I go to the movies, _____________________________
I'll throw Jaffas down the isles, coz no one's ever done that before...
Love is ____
bittersweet, when it occurs between a struggling Ukrainian fishmonger and a happy-go-lucky Californian surfer.
Psst. You need to give us a new sentence fragment.
I said "oops!" when I ______________
forgot to.... um... oh crap!
Last time I ate a horse, ____
its kith and kin swore equine vengeance upon me, unto the seventh generation.
The interesting thing about flying first class is ______________
... you're still stuck in a metal tube, thousands of feet in the air.
It never ceases to amaze me, how the beach is full of ____________________
teeming masses of pudgy sunburned people with bad attitudes.
If I ever get sunburned again, I'll _______
abstain from eating lobster, as it would feel like cannibalism.
Kingdoms rise, and kingdoms fall, but ____
not the Kingdom of Viagra; it rose and stayed that way.
The fossil record would seem to indicate ______________
that Joan Rivers is, if a mammal, the oldest thus far known to science.
I want to know what love is; I want ______
this rash to go away.
I'm so tired I could ___
fall asleep using the naked stomach of a sweaty and hairy overweight stranger as a pillow, and just not care.
The only way to get that image out of my mind is if I _________
immediately give all my money to Elendil's Heir.
On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair, _______
I forgot all the lyrics, lah-lah-lah, I don't care.
I think personal grooming is _______________
lacking on a lot of public transport.
If I won a million dollars, ______
I would promptly invest it in U.S. Treasury Savings Bonds, just like my grandma would have wanted.
The best thing about the Sunday paper is ____________
pointing and laughing at the dumb "letters to the editor" section.
If you keep making a face like that ________________
you'll become an internet meme in no time!
Every day, I open my email to find ________________________
worlds of D15C0UNT V14GR4!!!! ready to greet me.
The wonderful thing about Tiggers is ________________
there's just a single, solitary, mind-bendingly annoying example of the critter.
Some people call me the Space Cowboy; some people ________
look at me and wonder how I manage to walk around unsupervised without causing chaos in my wake.
When I wake up tomorrow I won't be drunk anymore, but _________
I'll still have this facial tattoo ...
Today is the first day of __________
the invasion of the merciless reptiloids from Galaxy MT-000079a; jeez, don't you even read the headlines?
The streets were jammed with broken heroes on ______
those little electric Wal-Mart scooters that always seem to be occupied by people with no apparent disability other than being really fat.
Tramps like us, baby, we were born to _______________
walk sedately to the restroom at the back of the restaurant.
What a peculiar little black spot, it ___________________
can't possibly be a black hole, Captain, or we would surely :: ship instantly crushed ::
Out on the road today, I saw a Dead Head sticker on ___________
top of a Black Flag sticker on a cadillac.
My feet smell so bad, __
I coated them in VapoRub to see if that would help.
VapoRub is a handy substance, it ________________________
is what I gave all 73 if my bridesmaids last time.
All the waiters in your new hotel _________
are waiting for you, so hurry up!
Happiness is ____
elusive, but my money's on this brand-new Max-O-Vibrator to help me find it.
If you are hungry, you should ________________
probably eat at least nine cheeseburgers if you're looking for an early heart attack.
Darling, only the good die _________
virgins; the rest of us make damn sure we get around as much as possible before death takes us.
Drinking only leads to ________
chronic liver malfunction, or so my no-fun doctor told me years and years ago.
Hold me now, hold my heart, stay with _________
that diet that makes you fart.
It's raining again, and ___
that always makes me want to play Parcheesi.
Well if you don't like Parcheesi, then just __________________