Why does the laundry always end up on the floor next to the laundry basket, rather than in the laundry basket?
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Why does the laundry always end up on the floor next to the laundry basket, rather than in the laundry basket?
When did Sarahfeena become Erma Bombeck?
Why do I always find the roommates who are perfectly happy to have a bathroom reeking of mildew forever and all time?
What do I have to do to get the hell out of California?
When I got laid off from my job and became a housewife. :fail:Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
I'll give you a non-Erma one: Why, when you e-mail an important, time-sensitive document to someone, would they not just shoot you back a quick e-mail, letting you know it's been received? :iiam:
And, further, why do I feel like an ass then when I send the followup e-mail "Did you happen to get my earlier e-mail? That document is like super important and stuff, and I need to be sure you got it." :iiam: :iiam:
Why is there a troupe of Earthbenders on the Google homepage today??
Martha Graham's birthday.Quote:
Originally posted by Orual
Where will we be living in six weeks?
Am I actually doing anything that helps anyone?
How can it go from winter-coat weather to shorts-and-tank top weather in the span of ONE DAY?!
Why do people whose knowledge of a subject comes from a casual reading of popular literature think that they can go among experts, raise incredibly obvious points, and assume that the experts have never thought of them before?
When did butter chicken conquer this country? Not only does every Indian restaurant offer butter chicken, and about the half the British style pubs, I now know places that offer butter chicken burritos and butter chicken poutine.
That sounds like a wonderful occurance, Rube. Don't question, just enjoy.
Yeah. What the hell. Now it's back to winter-coat weather.Quote:
Originally posted by Sarahfeena
How many "let's pretend" games can I play with my 4-year-old before I go insane?
Ah, I'd love to have my four year old back, just for a day. I get along great with my ten year old, but four was magnificent.
Oh, he's cute, for sure. But all day long..."mommy, pretend I'm a puppy!" "Mommy, pretend you just got me in the mail!" "Mommy, pretend you don't know which house is ours!" "Mommy, pretend we're on a pirate ship!" "Mommy, pretend we're taking an airplane to Grandma's!" It never. ends.
Me -----> :woowoo:
What is love?
Spoiler (mouseover to read):
Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.
My kid wants to go to the ball game on Saturday, but that's when the Rapture's scheduled. Has Jose Bautista been saved? Cause it's kind of a shame to spring for Jays' tickets if he's not going to be playing.
Why are some people so fucking stupid?
Why is it that whenever I eat an apple, I invariably get a piece stuck between my teeth and then I have to go floss?
Why was Stick up eating apples at 1:08 AM?
Why not send it with a "read receipt requested"?Quote:
Originally posted by SarahfeenaWhen I got laid off from my job and became a housewife. :fail:Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
I'll give you a non-Erma one: Why, when you e-mail an important, time-sensitive document to someone, would they not just shoot you back a quick e-mail, letting you know it's been received? :iiam:
And, further, why do I feel like an ass then when I send the followup e-mail "Did you happen to get my earlier e-mail? That document is like super important and stuff, and I need to be sure you got it." :iiam: :iiam:
Cause I'm stupid?Quote:
Originally posted by visonWhy not send it with a "read receipt requested"?Quote:
Originally posted by SarahfeenaWhen I got laid off from my job and became a housewife. :fail:Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
I'll give you a non-Erma one: Why, when you e-mail an important, time-sensitive document to someone, would they not just shoot you back a quick e-mail, letting you know it's been received? :iiam:
And, further, why do I feel like an ass then when I send the followup e-mail "Did you happen to get my earlier e-mail? That document is like super important and stuff, and I need to be sure you got it." :iiam: :iiam:
Seriously, I know I should remember to do that, but it's just nice to get a verbal confirmation, yes we got it, we understand it, no questions, etc.
Good to see you, BTW. :)
Why do people disagree with me about ANYTHING, when I am so clearly right?
I have the same question, Hat.
ALso, why do I spend so much time on the internet, when I know it's generally unedifying, and mainly serves to annoy me?
Why did it take me until now to realize the reason my thread title has been bugging me all this time is because "questions" is plural and "answer" is singular?
Why the heck can't the Blue Jays find a closer?
What, in the context of Rube E. Tewesday's post, is a "closer"?
Someone in the closet?
Heh. It's a baseball term. It refers to a highly specialized pitcher who's brought in late in the game, when his team holds a narrow lead, to shut down the other team's batters and secure the win ("close the game", hence, "closer").
In the case of the Toronto Blue Jays, it refers to a pitcher who's brought in late in the game, when his team holds a narrow lead, to hand a come-from-behind victory over to the other team (lose the game, hence "loser").
I have a sudden, unfathomable desire to re-read Terry Brooks' Shannara books. What the hell?
Why am I possessed with the urge to eat a whole 4-pack of Snickers bars?
I think you have the team confused with the Houston Astros....Quote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
Now I need to know what butter chicken is. So what is it?Quote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
I have many, every few years I read a few more and then I almost always wonder why.Quote:
Originally posted by Orual
Butter chicken is kind of like a cousin to chicken tikka. It is a yummy, mild Indian dish that I think would make a smashing burrito filling, personally.Quote:
Originally posted by What Exit?
I think it's a nostalgia thing for me: if I read Shannara books while listening to Smashing Pumpkins I can perfectly recapture the zeitgeist of my teen years.Quote:
Originally posted by What Exit?I have many, every few years I read a few more and then I almost always wonder why.Quote:
Originally posted by Orual
I refuse to learn how to cook butter chicken. It is very easy to crave.
Why is it so damn hot?
Why do science crackpots so often attack Newton or Darwin or Einstein as if it were 1680 or 1860 or 1922? Things have moved on.
Why can't the Blue Jays sweep a three game series?
Pretty Japanese lady who always says "Hi" to me in the hall: Who the heck are you?
What's that girl singing in that Heineken commercial?
Why do I like those new Heineken commercials even though they're a transparently obvious ripoff of The Most Interesting Man in the World?
Mette Lindberg, the golden ageQuote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5h-LAvQDCQ
Your next wife.Quote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
I like my milk steak boiled hard.Quote:
Originally posted by AllWalker
Why do I find Hoarders so fucking fascinating?
The ones who attack those figures are the authoritarian science crackpots. Instead of grasping how science really works, they view it more as a kind of prophetic religion. Attack the prophet, attack the science. :woowoo:Quote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
Why am I so happy to see hates back?
:ferret:
Why is it so damn hot?
You enjoy having the constant motivation to clean?Quote:
Originally posted by Sarahfeena
Fucking Magnets, How Do They Work?
How can I possibly be so slap-happy when it's not even noon yet?
Why does my vanilla ice cream contain beetroot juice?
Why is it so easy to make a mess and so hard to clean?
Did it come from Australia? They do bizarre things with beets down there.Quote:
Originally posted by CatInASuit
Why is the BMW the official car of douchebags everywhere? Is it something about BMWs, or something about douchebags?
Entropy?Quote:
Originally posted by Zuul
After all these years of evolution, why are people still such morons?
Why do so many guys with really strange men's room habits work on my floor?
Am I losing my mind?
Only if you forget where you left it.Quote:
Originally posted by Sarahfeena
Why does my ostensibly "Sweet Mint" chewing gum taste like artificial banana flavoring? Ew.
Why do people who look horrible in shorts like wearing shorts so much more than people who look good in shorts do?
Am I the only Mello poster who does not also post at Giraffe?
MUST old men wear dark socks - or any socks at all - with sandals?
I haven't smoked two packs of cigarettes over the course of my life. I don't think I've smoked a cigarette at all since maybe 1992.
So why do I really crave a cigarette right now?
I have no sense of direction. I cannot make sense of a road map.
Why do people constantly stop me to ask for directions?
No. I like them, but I don't post there.Quote:
Originally posted by Hatshepsut
I lurk, although less now as I was following MHaye's D&D Campaign. It shows how hard it is to run one online.Quote:
Originally posted by Hatshepsut
I wonder if Sarahfeena will ever overtake Oliveloaf's post count?
I wonder what Oliveloaf's up to.
Me, too. I see him looking in occasionally, but I miss him posting.Quote:
Originally posted by Orual
I told him we miss him...I think he's just busy.
Why don't woodpeckers get whiplash?
How long can a person have OutKast's "Ms. Jackson" stuck in her head before going bonkers?
How do you crack a Brazil nut shell to get the Brazil nut out without turning it into shrapnel?
Why is are my cough frops making me cough more?
How come guys can play volleyball in big, baggy shorts but girls are only capable of playing if they're wearing something small and tight?
Why does practically everybody who calls me at work call me between noon and one, the hour when I'm most likely to be out of the office?
Body Shop and Tim Horton's are big, tremendously successful companies. How is this possible given the mind-boggling incompetence I always encounter when I try to do business at one?
Why don't I have a Tim Horton's within walking distance of my house?
Because you're not in Canada.Quote:
Originally posted by Orual
BUT WHY. (Also I'm not in Michigan, or Buffalo New York.)
Why do Cokes from McDonald's taste SOOOOOO good?
How does putting one extra cup of water in the coffee maker result in five cups worth of overflow?
Miracles.Quote:
Originally posted by hatesfreedom
Because modern human reproduction selects for height, symmetry, and straight teeth more than for intelligence. All the intelligence-related progress due to evolution ground to a halt about 1000 years ago.Quote:
Originally posted by Elendil's Heir
Because you're at Wal-Mart.Quote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
Shhh, don't jinx us.Quote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
Clean nozzles, proper mix.Quote:
Originally posted by Sarahfeena
How does one work up the necessary enthusiasm to do laundry?
Meth.Quote:
Originally posted by Orual
Poor Orual. She's in San Francisco, which means she doesn't have to do laundry, because it would be OK if she walked around naked.
On the other hand, she's in San Francisco, so if she walked around naked, she'd die of exposure.
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THE WHOLE DAMN OFFICE BUILDING SMELLS LIKE PEE.
(And it would never do to walk around my neighborhood naked. I get accosted by plenty of creepy vagrants as it is.)
That would be the creepy vagrants.Quote:
Originally posted by Orual
The good news is that with our present high population, should a sudden change in environment occur which would select for higher intelligence we would then experience a nigh on unprecedented evolutionary jump, thanks to the scope of our gene pool.Quote:
Originally posted by OneCentStampBecause modern human reproduction selects for height, symmetry, and straight teeth more than for intelligence. All the intelligence-related progress due to evolution ground to a halt about 1000 years ago.Quote:
Originally posted by Elendil's Heir
In fact, with the high caloric requirements of the human brain it could be that this is the solution to the obesity epidemic. :sci:
A less tongue in cheek explanation, which is quite fascinating.
My cat doesn't care if a closet door is shut. My cat doesn't care if a bedroom door keeps her out. But Lord have mercy on my soul if I should shut the bathroom door on her.
What does she think happens in there and why is it so important for her to be there? When I let her into the bathroom, she just sits there and stares at me creepily. It's especially bad if I'm in the bath.
...is my cat a voyeur?
I don't know, maybe if you post some pic's of you in the bath it might help us work it out.Quote:
Originally posted by Zuul
Just trying to be helpfull. :lol:
Yeah, like I'm falling for that again. :emb:
Again?? Shit, I knew I shouldn't have gone on hiatus from here. :fail:Quote:
Originally posted by Zuul
Why does good whiskey disappear so much faster than the crappy stuff? WHY.
Because crappy whiskey needs a mixer! :sci:
Why did I get a phone call from the lobby of my building, which then transferred into a call to someone I don't know, which was finally answered by her voice-mail?
Oh, and why does this one client sent me e-mails with the red "High Importance" exclamation mark, then say in the body of the e-mail that the matter is not urgent?
Who the hell gets up before 7 AM on a Sunday?! (And don't say "church-goers", my roommates have pentacles on their cars.)
Do tea bags expire?
Why do the pigs in Angry Birds take TNT into their fortifications?
Why do I bother visiting my mother?
Why do people have their Christmas lights on in February? Not UP...I'll chalk that up to "haven't gotten around to taking them down," but, dude...they're electric. Unplug 'em.
Tell them it's bad luck to have them up beyond Twelfth Night.Quote:
Originally posted by Sarahfeena
Actually I just took mine down today but usually they are down right after New Year's Eve. This time the kids asked if we could keep them up a little longer and then the Giants kept winning and I decided the lights & tree had to stay up. The icicle lights in the windows were even Giants Blue.Quote:
Originally posted by Sarahfeena
Alas, here in Chicago there's no such excuse. :(Quote:
Originally posted by What Exit?Actually I just took mine down today but usually they are down right after New Year's Eve. This time the kids asked if we could keep them up a little longer and then the Giants kept winning and I decided the lights & tree had to stay up. The icicle lights in the windows were even Giants Blue.Quote:
Originally posted by Sarahfeena
(Congrats, BTW!)
What's the calorie count of lip balm?
Why did that city bus have "Hell is not Tomorrow" on the back in great big letters?
Why does she get to change the rules whenever she wants to?
If you find the answer to that one, let me know.Quote:
Originally posted by Anacanapuna
Asked by my son last night: "How come Michael Jackson was white, but his brothers and sisters are black?"
On a windy February day in Toronto, did I really just see a man with a two-day growth of beard wearing a cute little polka dot dress and nothing covering his hairy legs?
Is that an outlandishly weird thing in Toronto? Because it would have been, in any US city I've lived in.Quote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
Why does a bottle of water have an expiry date?
Unusual, and the kind of thing that I'd mention here or tell my wife about when talking about the day, but not outlandish, especially downtown. Toronto is pretty tolerant. Probably the strangest thing was the bare legs, on a day when even the school girls with the hitched up kilts were wearing tights.Quote:
Originally posted by OneCentStampIs that an outlandishly weird thing in Toronto? Because it would have been, in any US city I've lived in.Quote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
Does the fact that I think this website is hilarious make me a bad person?
When did I develop a taste for music featuring banjos? And more importantly, why??
Why has my WASP, congenitally rhythm-less kid signed up for folk-dancing?
Where's Zuul?
On a date with Vinz Clortho?Quote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
I've been wondering that myself. No word from her for a while. She's been missing for nearly a month.Quote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
I think Marsilia's post in the "stuff you love" thread might provide a clue.
How many episodes of Deadliest Warrior can I watch before I develop testosterone poisoning?
Why do I need so much sleep one night, and so little another?
Why do I always end up in exercise classes where tiny Asian ladies try to destroy me?
Why can't I stay in my own house for longer than two weeks at a time?
Why do comic reviewers insist on trying to use real world physics in Batman comics to say why it can't work.
Why can't life be anything other than a series of crushing disappointments.
WHY can't the Blue Jays find a closer?
Where did these bagels come from??
Why is my assistant wearing so much body spray?
Why am I so inordinately delighted by my new 3-hole punch?
Why did they get rid of all the conveniently placed post boxes?
Why has it taken me so long to find out what a hangnail is?
How did someone discover that heating corn kernels made them explode into tasty white fluffy things? How does it not have a more dynamic name than popcorn?
Can we find out what the Peruvians called it 7000 years ago? That's probably a more interesting name, or maybe not.Quote:
Originally posted by spitz
Why are my busiest work days always when the weather outside is gorgeous?
I am over 30 years old, why must I continue to make such terrible life decisions involving Wild Turkey?
Why doesn't Mellophant have a "like" button I can click for Orual's last post?
Will I ever hit upon the limit of times I'm willing to sit and watch Return of the Jedi?
Where does all the money come from?
I thought the exact same thing when I read it. :dumbo:Quote:
Originally posted by OneCentStamp
When I created this thread, why didn't I word the title "Questions to which you need the answer?"
Why is answer spelled with a w? It's not ans-wer, it's ans-er!
Why do I read comments on Internet baseball sites?
They're where people who are too dumb to post on YouTube go to post.
Honest to God, when a player is on the Disabled List, maybe that's why he's not being brought up to the Majors. And OK, it all right to be disappointed with a second baseman, but bringing up an outfielder isn't going to fix that problem.
Why won't the people I interviewed with get back to me?!? ::whine::
Why did I have to be a Cubs fan?
SARAH HOW ARE YOU?!
Why is there a Ziploc bag containing little bottles of hotel shampoo on our break room table?
Why isn't there a Ziploc bag containing little bottles of hotel shampoo on my break room table?!? :fist:
To teach you some valuable life lesson. Not sure what that life lesson is, but there has to be a valuable life lesson involved.Quote:
Originally posted by Sarahfeena
There weren't so very many people in my law school class. One hundred and fifty, maybe? How come I don't even remember the names of so many of the people who, according to the alumni magazine, I spent three years with?
Why are there thousands and thousand of dead little insects in my office building?
Why doesn't anybody clean up all the little corpses piled up on the stairwell?
Not paid enough.
The woman who was strolling down the street on Saturday, smoking a cigarette, with full Klingon face make-up but no other sign of a Star Trek costume: What was that about?
Why does my beagle insist on only peeing inside the house?
Why is it I can drink until the cows come home some nights and still be all but sober yet other nights I wipe out and act like the biggest douche on earth?
Get an answer to that one, and you should win the Nobel prize.Quote:
Originally posted by The Original An Gadaí
Why does my girlfriend from 30 years ago keep endorsing me for things on LinkedIn? What does that even mean?
She still has the hots for you or thinks you'd make a great Line Manager at the dairy products concern over in Hamilton.
Heh, I don't even really understand what a Linkedin endorsement means, let alone why she's doing it.
Oh well, no reason why I should understand how her mind works now any more than I did then.
Does saying that I can live with the printer only printing single-sided really merit getting hit by a secretrary?
Why are cyclists such dicks? Just today I observed two running a pedestrian crossing red light and about half a dozen cycling, at speed, on foot paths. They know their rights but not their responsibilities it seems.
Find an answer to that one, let me know. Entitled dicks are the vast majority of cyclists, in my observation. Right up there with Beemer drivers.Quote:
Originally posted by The Original An Gadaí
My question: How is it that I can't name a single song by Morrissey, or even the Smiths, yet I know that he is: (a) Gay; (b) Vegan; (c) a douche?
This Charming Man?
There Is A Light That Will Never Go Out?
Rube, even my ma knows their songs. My ma who has been oblivious to every single pop cultural phenomenon since 1972 (year of the birth of her first child) except for Andre Rieu and Andrea Bocelli.
Nope, have no idea what you're talking about.
Your ma is obviously some kind of hipster.
Why do all the 1st Communion dresses look like little wedding dresses with spaghetti straps and illusion netting? This is not the look I'm wanting for Sassy Girl!
Why was there a bikini top lying next to the scraps from an Egg McMuffin outside my office building this morning?
Why does Facebook think I might want to be friends with Nicholas Cage?
I get that a lot with twitter. You would have thought all the celebs had enough people following them, without needing me to do so as well.Quote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
Nicholas Cage is a real headscratcher to me, though. Usually I can make some sort of sense of Facebook's recommendations, but Nic Cage? I'm not sure I've even seen one of his movies since Moonstruck.
How did my keyboard get so clogged up? I have never seen so much cat hair and toast crumbs in close proximity.
The condom wrappers you see on ordinary sidewalks: where do they come from?
People riding in cars.
Call display just showed a call from, literally, "Anonymous".
Has anyone with call display ever answered a call that said that?
I'm sure they have, but the percentage has to be low.Quote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
If it's an unlisted number I get "Private" but if it's from Skype I get "Out Of Area" or "Unknown".
Why did it take me so long to remember that my printer will staple documents for me?
Why would you ever put a sign up in a canteen saying: "We look forward to your feed back."
Oh, yuck. How did nobody think about that?Quote:
Originally posted by CatInASuit
Why don't people read shop signs before entering?
Why do razors have 4 or 5 blades now? I remember a time when 1 blade worked just fine. In fact, 1 blade seemed to work better than going blade-crazy like nowadays.
Who posts and advert like this?
http://s3.thejournal.ie/media/2013/0...ad-310x415.jpg
Um... someone who wants to be charged with this?: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sedition
The sad truth is purely marketing and is nothing to do with how close it can shave.Quote:
Originally posted by spitz
Someone who saw the transcript about Allied Irish bank screwing over the government and think they could do a better job of it.Quote:
Originally posted by The Original An Gadaí
I want to know why Irish people forget what intense sunshine does and go around having taken zero precautions. Lads out in shorts and no shirt and no sunscreen turning into lobsters.
If safety in the air is so important, why is the TSA totally staffed by asswipes who couldn't last a week in a real job?
I don't live anywhere near a pond or river, so why do I have a frog in my back garden?
When will we finally get cheap energy?
Or domestic robots? Not Roombas, but toilet washing, clothes folding, dish washing, full fledged domestic bots?
I've got one of those its called a CatInASuit, hey...wait?Quote:
Originally posted by What Exit?
Why were the two young women ahead of me in the dollar store buying three slotted spatulas, and nothing else?
They are having an anniversary party for their parents and realized they needed more serving utensils for it. Or something similar.Quote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
Why don't people know the name of the shop they're in and have purchased items in a myriad of times before?
Place that sold me the "Turkey and Ontario Root Vegetable" soup: When did corn and green peppers become root vegetables?
Why was the dude on the subway drawing pentagrams on his arm with red ink, then wiping them off with his thumb?
a) It keeps people from bothering him on the subway rideQuote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
b) Satanist but also a perfectionist and kept messing up the angles of the pentagram
c) Geometry Student?
OK, then, maybe you also know why was there an old, taped up guitar sitting outside the burrito shop?
It was probably agent 13._ He could hide in the oddest places. Like stray punctuation marks perhaps.Quote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday