"...we need to find a bucket."
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"...we need to find a bucket."
It's worse, if you hear:
"... I just stepped in the bucket."
"...sure, I'm on the pill."
"... Oh, don't worry: My doctor says those don't mean anything."
"...is it supposed to be that color?"
"We'll be fine, as long as the train is running as late as it usually does."
"I just hope we don't get pulled over."
"...Let me do the talking."
"Which ID looks better to you?"
"Sure, I'm eighteen!"
"...Hey, toss me that acid, will you?"
"Nah, I doubt it's loaded. Pull the trigger."
:wth:
"...Is it supposed to make that much smoke?"
"...here you hold this."
"I saw this in a movie once."
"Hey, it worked for Indy!"
"...trust me I know what I'm doing."
"I dare you to...."
"Do you think this is safe to eat?"
"... We're in a strange city, can't speak the language, and the docks are the worst part of most cities. There's only one thing to do: Let's get shitfaced drunk!"
"Hit me as hard as you can!"
Well it's easy to pick out who the sailors are.Quote:
Originally posted by OtakuLoki
And I didn't even break out:Quote:
Originally posted by Glazer
".... this is no shit..."
"...are you sure this is legal?"
"Don't worry. No one will ever see these pictures."
"This whole 'serial killer on the loose' thing makes me really...horny."
"Let's split up to look for this maniac - we'll cover more ground that way."
"Oh, whew! It was only a cat. I'm safe."
"..leopards make for great pets."
I've got it all figured out.
"Okay, bend over while I get the firecracker!"
"There's just one little, minor, inconsequential bug to be worked out..."
"Oh, hey, neat. Nikola Tesla's death ray plans."
"What does this do?"
Ya got a plunger?
"Oh, you wanna bet I can't? Here, hold my beer..."
"...nobody will ever know."
"... Wow. What were the odds of that happening?"
"Oops, I forgot my wallet. You stay here while I go get it."
Hey guys! Watch this!
"I triple double dare you."
"You better go get your camera!"
"Aw, look at the cute widdle bear."
"I just want to pose them with the lions..."
"Animal testing is wrong, so we're going to release all of the monkeys in downtown Chicago."
Dude, I swear, I had no idea she was a guy.
"I'm sorry I hit on your girlfriend. Wanna hug?"
Ya aint from 'round here. Are ya?
"We don't cotton ta yer kind 'round here boy!"
"Sir, I just have to tell you, your daughter has an amazing ass."
"Is it supposed to be on fire?"
"What's that smell? It smells like..."
We can rebuild him...
Hang on a sec, it just needs a shake...
"Why don't we just drive around the cop?"
(this happened last night fyi)
"Maybe I'll just push it again."
(double post)
I'm sure this is the right button!
"Don't worry. I'm sure that bear is just bluffing."
Trust me, I've seen "Diagnosis, Murder" on numerous occasions, and know exactly how to use a scalpel, due to Dick Van Dyke's excellent method acting techniques.
Now hold still!
"What are you, a wimp?"
where does this screw go again?
"Now, don't rush me. I'm sure one of these keys will get us out of here."
"That should do it and only 3 spare parts left over"
"I know kung-fu!"
"Hey, this looks like a short cut!"
"I saw some oily liquid under the car but I am sure it is nothing."
"Just gotta top off ole Bessie's oil before we head out, and we'll have no problems."
"Oh, cool. The car leaked something sweet!"
You did say left, didn't you?
"It's okay, all cities in the US are laid out on grids - we can't get too far lost in Boston."
This made me laugh and laugh. :DQuote:
Originally posted by OtakuLoki
I just clicked that strange link.
"Hey cool! I just won a lottery I never even entered."
"Just sign here, we'll straighten out all the details later."
"Hi there, Dubya. Look, I need some political advice..."
"Mission accomplished!"
"This mission can be very dangerous ..."
"There's no reason to worry. Sure you're getting combat pay for this month, but it's just another liberty port."
"It'll be easy. Three days of combat at most! It even has a pretty name: Peleliu."
"Nothing could be worse than Tarawa."
"...at least Okinawa will be a peace of cake!"
"Saipan's got a large civilian population. They'll have to stop fighting to spare them."
"Don't worry - these flamethrowers are perfectly safe to use."
ETA: "I'll just stand over here so I can better cover you."
"There couldn't possibly be anyone left alive in that pillbox. Peek your head in and check."
:lol:Quote:
Originally posted by OtakuLoki
"Bah. Mr. Big Guy thinks he's tough because he was in Vietnam. What kind of real man could boast of being a 'tunnel rat'?"
The fish is perfectly safe. I followed these directions off of ehow.
"I'm Chris Hansen, what do you think you're doing?"
"Just climb in. Where is it you're going? Oh - my name's Ted. Pleased to meet you."
"This is foolproof."
"...first, I need a stoup of grog."
"This will be our secret, OK?"
"I have a knife in my pocket - let's not turn a rape into a murder!"
"This won't hurt much"
"It's not herpes if it's all over."
"Run for your lives! The main reactor's gone into meltdown!"
I've never known a good situation to start with the words "We have to talk".
"Look! I found an old grenade. It can't still be live, can it?"
"Chief Engineer: Contact the bridge. Immediately!"
Slight hijack.Quote:
Originally posted by Sarahfeena
An Italian guy I went to school with(as in from Italy) sort of had this happen to him. When he was a kid, him and his friend found an old potato-masher grenade out in the woods. Not knowing what it was they started messing with it. Luckily they had enough sense to toss it before it went off.
To continue the hijack - did you ever read the post by LucyinDisguise, where he describes spending one spring cleaning out an old farm workshop? It's only by luck that he's still with us.Quote:
Originally posted by Revs
(Sorry, I meant to include a link - but I'm not at home, using my parents' very, very old laptop, and it's having problems with the Dope. Or vice versa. Search for the keyword "dynamite" with the user "LucyinDisguise")
Here's the link I wanted to find earlier: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...1&postcount=11
This is true in my experience as well. It's even worse when it's said a day or two in advance of the actual talk...Quote:
Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
Oh my gosh, that LucyInDisguise post was quite epic. 27' crater, 7' deep?!? Holy crap!
To continue the thread:
"RUN!!!"
"Details, details. Don't sweat the small stuff."
"OK, don't kill me, I'm just the messenger here"
"Well I've got some good news and some bad news."
"It was a dark and stormy night..."
"Sign this: I have a subpoena here for you."
"Does that pit bull look like it's been eating shaving cream to you?"
It only burns when I pee.
"So before we go inside, have you ever seen that show 'Hoarders'?"
Damn, I wish I'd come up with that one.Quote:
Originally posted by Nrblex
"Good intentions never led anyone wrong before!"