The next person to post in this thread...

Gli "totes" to use italian-american slang.

TNP tries to force several people to amuse him or her at least once, preferably early, in the day. IRL, duh. In a non-coercive, non-threatening manner.

Nope. If they do, they do, but not by "force," define it as you will.

TNP had a coworker talk to him much longer today than TNP would have preferred.

Haha every day is like that for me.

TNP has some niggling ailment/injury that isn't debilitating, but annoying as hell.

I can't say that I don't.

TNP likes reading about linguistics.

Sometimes, a little, yeah. Not that I'm an expert or anything.

TNP has a pet theory about a particular word or phrase.

Yeah, many, none very original.

TNP fucking hates it when some D-word ineptly tries to correct IRL

Yeah, I guess that's true.

TNP hates November.

False. Kinda depends on the weather. My eldest son's and niece's birthdays, Election Day and Thanksgiving are always highlights.

TNP is already looking forward to December.

Can't be worse than it is right now, so sure.

TNP refuses to do one thing to decorate for any holiday in his or her pad. Waste of time.

Not yet, yes, it's true. The Christmas season doesn't begin until after Thanksgiving - local retailers, advertisers and radio stations notwithstanding.

TNP has a favorite Thanksgiving dish.

Wild Turkey? I'd be happy with that, glass optional, and a foot-long hoagie from Subway.

TNP is going to spend time with some extended family these holidays coming up.

Not so much, actually. Not this year, the way everyone's schedule is looking.

TNP has a favorite pen.

Nope. Yes, Walt Benjamin used to say "a certain pedantic adherence to..." something about pens and papers, but I like those Pilot gels everyone uses. I do favor 0.5mm Bic disposable pencils, though. They have a way of getting lost, or when the clip breaks they somehow become like a creature from the attic, unworthy of my touch.

TNP thinks the plastic pocket-clips manufacturers put on disposable pens and pencils are abominably unsturdy; however, they are utterly indispensable, for many more uses than mere pocket-clipping-on-to.

I find them useless on a practical level, as I don't feel the need to clip pens onto things. But they do look kinda cool.

TNP was consciously grateful for something good in their life today (or yesterday if you just woke up).

Sure -- I saw a great movie and texted with an old friend who turned me onto it (*Alceste a bicyclette*)

TNP agrees that pencil and pen clips are good for (a) stopping pens or pencils from rolling off of various surfaces and (b) for clipping onto notebooks during moments of desired respite or imposed restiveness, or for changing pens (or perhaps colors of pens) and pencils, as one does when one uses paper as opposed to an iPhone or whatever.

All true, even though they can wear down the edges of my suit coat pockets over time.

TNP has worn a suit in the last week.

False. Too hot here to be wearing a freakin' suit.

TNP has seen/done/been recipient of a random act of kindness.

Sure, they are more common than you'd think.

TNP has seen a random act of jerkiness.

Every time I drive. Use your turn signals, people! Wave "thanks" when someone lets you cut in line! Don't run red lights and stop signs! Sheesh.

TNP has actually said "Sheesh" in the past 30 days.

I'm guessing "Jesus h fucking christ shithead!" doesn't count. So, I guess not.

TNP thinks very, very, very unflattering things about the mentality of most automobile gadget-people. But is resigned to the techno-fetishism of our age.

True on both counts, pretty much.

TNP is very fond of his or her current vehicle.

Ehh, it's fine, but I'm not given to fondness for vehicles.

TNP wishes McDonald's served breakfast all day.

I wish their normal menu was available at breakfast time >:-(

TNP can do some freaky trick with their eyes.

No, although a childhood friend could flip up his eyelids and leave them that way. Very unsettling.

TNP had a childhood friend with a similar trick.

Sure, I saw that one at least a few times. Don't know how long they could hold the lids that way, but it was a surprisingly popular stunt among my colleagues at that age -- those, that is, who could manage it, or dared to try. (aka not me -- stupid and gross trick).

TNP is listening to buttrock right now, involuntarily (Journey, "Don't stop believing")

Don't know if this qualifies, but this is what I was just listening to - my earworm du jour: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Cix5bX11xk

TNP likes that song.

What the bloody hell??? I was expecting some Vivaldi or Sousa or Canned Heat... I'd never heard that song before, and can't say my first listen really bonded with me :-/

TNP is weighing up holiday options.

Yes, a bit. Likely to stay home for Thanksgiving; might go to Vermont for Christmas.

TNP has been to Vermont in the past five years.

Never. Not once.

TNP knows at least one tune with "Vermont" in the title, though.

False. Can't even imagine one.

TNP has tried Vegemite.

No, nor Marmite neither.

TNP is wondering why he/she got out of bed this morning.

No time to wonder that! Too damn much to do today.

TNP has been crazy busy today.

What may be true in theory, is not necessarily true in practice. Still, going to be a long day.

TNP had a pretty hairy weekend capped off by a pleasant Sunday dinner spent with family.

Sunday dinner with family was nice enough, but so was the rest of the weekend.

TNP wishes s/he'd been born someplace where it didn't snow.

That's always nice. Never understood quite the crowd who's always "I wish it would snow!"

TNP wishes he or she lived some place where blue skies, no matter the ice and mishegas, were the norm and not the exception.

Yes, that would be nice, too. A lot of gray days here other than in the summer.

TNP will be vacationing in warmer climes within 30 days.

God, I hope not. It's hot enough here.

TNP likes Jarlsberg.

No, not particularly.

TNP has had a button fall of a coat recently.

Oh, don't even start. Most recently one of those clip-on fasteners for men's pants came off. Sure, so I go and grab my pliers last minute but

TNP has a virtual ziggurat of clothes in need of buttons that he or she is far too lazy to sew back up.

Yeah, too lazy even to ask my wife to do it or to take them to the laundry to do it.

TNP is not usually lazy, just has some blind spots.

Generally true. I can procrastinate with the best of them when it's a task I ought to do sometime, but don't have to do now.

TNP has a hot beverage within arm's reach at this very moment.

Well, cold-to-room-temperature. So, no, I guess not. Some kind of beverage, though.

TNP knows someone with a so-called oral fixation.

I don't think so. Not sure I could diagnose it, though.

TNP has read any of Freud's writings.

True. But sometimes a writing is just a writing...

TNP has had the patience at some point to read Nietzsche.

Just a little. But I do like to quote him whenever I surprise my family and friends: "Nothing could be worse than to be completely understood."

TNP has surprised someone lately by doing something uncharacteristic.

I don't think I have. I'm pretty predictable.

TNP has a secret hobby too embarrassing to mention.

I have no idea whatsoever what that could possibly be. I suppose masturbation is a hobby of mine, but that doesn't seem embarrassing to me in se. So, false. ETA a colleague of mine sews complicated shirts and things out of printed fabrics -- I'd be very, very ashamed if I spent any amount of time doing that. But she's actually proud of that, for whatever reason.

TNP will reveal an embarrassing fetish he or she has.

My nipples become rock-hard when I see Dr. Feynman quoted online.

TNP has had rock-hard nipples in the past 30 days.

Can't say they've ever been glass-cutters. Not even in special moments.

TNP has now or has ever had several very overdue library books.

No, never more than a week or so. I'm pretty good about that.

TNP has been to a very large library in the past month.