"Kid: That was the best shot I ever saw!
Coburn: The worst. I was aiming for the horse."
— The Magnificent Seven
Printable View
"Kid: That was the best shot I ever saw!
Coburn: The worst. I was aiming for the horse."
— The Magnificent Seven
Nice parallel!
[A tied-up Crow is made to kneel outside Serenity as it prepares to lift off]
Mal: "Now this is all the money Niska gave us in advance. You give it back to him, tell him the job didn't work out. We're not thieves... well, we are thieves, but the point is we're not taking what's his. We'll stay out of his way as best we can from here on in. You'll explain that's best for everyone, okay?"
Crow: [Stands up] "Keep the money. Use it to buy a funeral. It doesn't matter where you go, or how far you fly, I will hunt you down, and the last thing you see will be my blade."
Mal: "Darn." [Kicks Crow into Serenity's engine intake]
[Cut to another henchman being placed before Mal]
Mal: "Now this is all the money Niska gave us in advance—"
Henchman: "Oh, I get it! I'm good. Best thing for everybody." [Desperate grin] "I'm right there with you."
Firefly
Well, thank you. Just knd of fortuitous.
"Sanders 2020"
— some moron's bumper sticker seen today
Jayne: "You save his gorram life, he still takes the cargo. Hwoon dahn ["bastard egg"].
Mal: "He had to. Couldn't let us profit. Wouldn't be civilized."
Firefly
"I love the Corps! Every meal a banquet, every paycheck a fortune!"
— Apone, Aliens (or close to it).
I can't resist 2x posting: apparently, in some strange corner of the world, something is marginally right with the Eng Lang.
Of course, it is Buck Cannon speaking, who is basically an illiterate, drunken fool, although capable at certain things:
"Don Sebastien, Old Quirapera's waiting for you out there.
He'll be bigly disappointed!"
— The High Chaparral,, "Mi Casa, Su Casa"
I couldn't believe my ears.
Do keep in mind that Buck Cannon is a truly illiterate man who has grave difficulties with even the spoken language, even in one tongue. However, he is competent at various trades, is not a thief, is honest, loyal, and not a rapist, So I say Buck Cameron can use the word. No one else, though.
No, I'm not going to drag down the Oxford English Dictionary for precedent, but it is proof that stupid saddle-tramps have once used that term which should not be uttered.
Zoe (listens): "Proximity alert. We must be comin' up on something."
Wash: "Oh, my God. What can it be? We're all doomed! Who's flying this thing?! (pause) Oh, right, that would be me. Back to work."
Firefly
"Creed: No, no, no, that's where you're wrong. This isn't just an exhibition fight that doesn't mean anything. This is us against them, what are you talking about? Now, c'mon! Stallion, maybe you don't know, but I'm talking about now. And you'll know when it's over."
— Rocky IV
Jayne: "Tell you what I think. I figure that fellow we run into did everyone on board. Killed 'em all. Then he decided to take a swim, see how fast his blood would boil out his ears."
Wash: "You're a very 'up' person."
Firefly
"I am going to help my gram-gram. She is the one who taught me: it is better to be truthful and good, than to not."
— Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Mal: "We'll check it out, see if there are any survivors. And if not, well, then, no one's gonna mind if we take a look around, see if there's not something of value they might've left behind."
Jayne: "Yeah, no, uh, someone could be hurt!"
Firefly
"Smooth Irish Whiskey Made the John Jameson Way Since 1780"
— it says so on the label!
Inara: "I like watching the game. As with other situations, the key seems to be giving Jayne a heavy stick and standing back."
Firefly
"Well, we're all just going to go in there looking all, innocent and vulnerable.....Well, anyway, we're all just going to go in there."
—Alias Smith and Jones series première
Zoe: "Planet's coming up a mite fast."
Wash: "That's just 'cause... I'm going down too quick. Likely crash and kill us all."
[As the ship begins to shake, Mal calmly leaves.]
Mal: "Well, that happens, let me know."
Firefly
"The truth was that I had the best camel. The excellent Wodheiha struggled gamely forward under the weight of the extra gold."
— TE Lawrence Seven PIllars
Mal: "It sounds like the finest party I can imagine getting paid to go to."
Inara: "I don't suppose you'd find it up to [the] standards of your outings. More conversation, and somewhat less... petty theft and getting hit with pool cues."
Firefly
"[Auda] jerked his halter, cantered his mare down the path, and rode out to plain view beneath the easternmost houses of the village. There he reined in, and shook a hand at them, booming in his wonderful voice: 'Dogs, do you not know Auda?'"
— TE Lawrence Seven Pillars
Kaylee: "Look at the fluffy one!"
Zoe: "Too much foofaraw. If I'm gonna wear a dress, I want something with some slink."
Firefly
"— Bottle and three glasses.
— Bar ain't open yet.
— Door's open. Bar's open."
— The High Chaparral, "A Matter of Vengence"
Badger: "'Course you couldn't buy an invite with a diamond the size of a testicle. I've got my hands on a couple." [pause] "Of invites!"
Firefly
"He had the gift, rare among Englishmen, of making the best of a good thing."
— TE Lawr., Seven Pillars
Badger: "You think you're better than other people!"
Mal: "Just the ones I'm better than."
Firefly
"Somewhere in the place a cheap clock ticked loudly, and it distressed me that their beating was not in its time. I writhed and twisted, but was held so tightly that my struggles were useless."
— TE Lawr, Seven Pillars
Mal: "Yeah, well just be careful. We cheated Badger out of good money to buy that frippery and you're supposed to make me look respectable."
Kaylee: "Yes, sir, Cap'n Tightpants."
Firefly
"First I repress my violent urges and now they're out again? Pick a lane, Cheryl or Carol!"
— Archer
Wash: "Don't fall asleep now. Sleepiness is weakness of character, ask anyone."
Zoe (almost dozing off after sex): "It is not!"
Wash: "You're Acting Captain. You know what happens, you fall asleep?"
Zoe: "Jayne slits my throat and takes over?"
Wash: "That's right."
Firefly
"The salty liquorice shell of Tyrkisk Peber Original sweets hides strong salty liquorice powder. Suitable for vegans. The bag contains just the right amount to challenge your taste buds ? and your friends too! [sic]"
— ad copy for Fazer Tyrkisk Peber Salmiakki
Wash: "I wash my hands of it. Hopeless case. I'll read a nice poem at the funeral. Something with imagery."
Zoe: "You could lock the door. Keep the power-hungry maniac at bay."
Wash: "Don't know. I'm starting to like this poetry thing. 'Here lies my beloved Zoe, my autumn flower... somewhat less attractive now that she's all corpsified and gross—'" [Zoe hits him with a pillow]
Firefly
"So you're telling me that the good old boys were drinking whiskey and rye? Like mixed together? I'm concerned about the mental health of them good old boys! Do you think their jobs were levee-based?"
— Archer
Sir Warrick: "I know him. And I think he's a psychotic low-life."
Mal: "And I think calling him that is an insult to the psychotic low-life community."
Firefly
"We'll check the morgue records, but I don't recall anything coming in minus an ear. The person may very well be still alive somewhere."
— Lumberton's coroner, Blue Velvet
Kaylee: "Don't you just love this party? Everything's so fancy and they have some kind of hot cheese over there!"
Cabott: "It's not as good as last year."
Kaylee: "Oh, really? What'd they have last year?"
Cabott: "Standards."
Firefly
Mommy can I go out and kill tonight?
— The Misfits
Mal: "And I never back down from a fight."
Inara: "Yes, you do! You do all the time!"
Mal: "Well... yeah, but I'm not backing down from this one!"
Firefly
"Staying in this place with the windows open is like living next to a dog pound. Last night we had a huge paranoid poodle up here in the room, and the dumb bastard went totally out of control when the seals started barking—racing around the room like a chicken hearing a pack of wolves outside the window, howling & whining, leaping up on the bed & scattering my book-galley pages all over the floor, knocking the phone off the hook, upsetting the gin bottles, trashing my carefully organized stacks of campaign photographs… off to the right of this typewriter, on the floor between the beds, I can see an 8x10 print of Frank Mankiewicz yelling into a telephone at the Democratic Convention in Miami; but that one will never be used, because the goddamn hound put five big claw-holes in the middle of Frank’s chest."
— Hunter S. Th., Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72, "Author's Note"
Inara: "You have a strange sense of nobility, Captain. You'll lay a man out for implying I'm a whore, but you keep calling me one to my face."
Mal: "I might not show respect to your job, but he didn't respect you. That's the difference. Inara, he doesn't even see you."
Inara: "Well, I guess death will solve the issue to everyone's satisfaction."
Firefly
"Indeed. Maybe Rehnquist—far gone with an overdose of raw sowbelly and crazy for terminal vengeance on the first house he comes to.
This world is full of dangerous beasts—but none quite as ugly and uncontrollable as a lawyer who has finally flipped off the tracks of Reason. He will run completely amok—like a Priest into sex, or a narc-squad cop who suddenly decides to start sampling his contraband."
— HST, Fear Loath Camp Trail '72
River: "Sure. I got a secret. More'n one. Don't seem like I'd tell 'em to you, now, do it? Anyone off Dyton colony knows better'n to talk to strangers. [pokes Badger in the chest] You're talkin' loud enough for the both of us, ain't ya? I've met a dozen like you. Skipped off home early. Minor grift jobs here and there. Spent some time in the lockdown, but less than you claim. And you're what? A petty thief with delusions o' standing? Sad little king of a sad little hill."
Firefly
"We spent the rest of the flight arguing politics. He is backing Muskie, and as he talked I got the feeling that he thought he was already at a point where, sooner or later, we would all be. “Ed’s a good man,” he said. “He’s honest. I respect the guy.” Then he stabbed the padded seat arm between us two or three times with his forefinger. “But the main reason I’m working for him,” he said, “is that he’s the only guy we have who can beat Nixon.” He stabbed the arm again. “If Nixon wins again, we’re in real trouble.” He picked up his drink, then saw it was empty and put it down again. “That’s the real issue this time,” he said. “Beating Nixon. It’s hard to even guess how much damage those bastards will do if they get in for another four years.”
— HST, Fear.Loath.Camp.Trail.72
Inara: "You're always breaking the rules, no matter which society you're in! You don't get along with ordinary criminals either, which is why you're constantly getting in trouble!"
Mal: "You think following the rules will buy you a nice life, even if the rules make you a slave."
Firefly
"Whatever O’Brien and his people had in mind, it didn’t come across. They looked and talked like a bunch of surly, burned-out Republicans—still wondering why Hubert Humphrey didn’t make it in ’68 with his Politics of Joy."
— HST, FATLon.the.Camp.Tr.72
[After winning a duel, Mal refuses to kill the prone, humiliated Atherton.]
Sir Warrick: "You have to finish it, lad." [Mal doesn't move] "You have to finish it. For a man to lay beaten, yet breathing? It makes him a coward."
Inara: "It's humiliation."
Mal: "It would be humiliating, having to lie there while the better man refuses to spill your blood. Mercy is the mark of a great man."
[He lightly stabs Atherton.]
Mal: "Guess I'm just a good man."
[He repeats the poking.]
Mal: "Well, I'm all right."
Firefly
“The only way a reporter should look at a politician is down.”
— Mencken, supposedly
Mal: "Don't care much for fancy parties. Too rough."
Inara: "It wasn't entirely a disaster."
Mal: "I got stabbed! Right here!"
Inara: "You also lined up exciting new crime."
Firefly
"You know how old people lose all shame about eating, and it makes you puke to watch them? Old junkies are the same about junk. They jibber and squeal at the sight of it. The spit hangs off their chin, and their stomach rumbles and all their guts grind in peristalsis while they cook up, dissolving the body's decent skin, you expect at any moment a great blob of protoplasm will flop right out and surround the junk.
-- Burroughs, Naked Lunch
Mal: "Don't take his offer."
Inara: "What?"
Mal: "Don't do it. 'Cause in the case that it happens, that means he's a fella who killed me, and I don't like fellas who kill me, not in general. I said before I don't have call to stop you, and that's true. Anyways, don't."
Firefly
"Game over, man! Game over!"
— some movie ;D
Ooo, I know which one! I know!
River (as a child): "We got outflanked by the Independent squad, and we're never gonna make it back to our platoon. [pauses] We need to resort to cannibalism."
Simon: "That was fast. Don't we have rations or anything?"
Firefly
"Daycare! Right! I'll see you all in hell!"
— Police Story. I swear to Christ in hell that's what the English dubbing sounds like, although that's not exactly what is intended, pretty sure.
River: "The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems."
Mal [to her brother]: "See, morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with, long as she does it quiet-like."
Firefly
"'Ever see a hot shot hit kid,? I saw the Gimp catch one in Philly.'"
— had to do it
Zoe: "Next time we smuggle stock, let's make it something smaller [than cows]."
Wash: "Yeah, we should start dealing in those black-market beagles."
Firefly
"Several Meat Eaters lay in vomit, too weak to move. (The Black Meat is like a tainted cheese. overpoweringly delicious..."
— NL
River: "They weren't cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see sky, and they remember what they are."
Mal: "Is it bad that what she said made perfect sense to me?"
Firefly
"But who? What'd you bring in? A high school kid in short pants that had a twitch? You grab a bellhop because he's got three joints in his sock?"
— "Walker," French Connection
Simon: "I'm very sorry if she tipped off anyone about your cunningly-concealed herd of cows."
Firefly
"An elderly gourmet with the insane bloodshot eyes of a mandril, is fashioning a hangman's knot with a red velvet curtain cord."
— Naked Lunch. Eat it.
Mal: "This is the last time. Last time with cows. Hey, there was an idea regarding beagles? They have smallish droppings?"
Zoe: "I believe so, sir. Also, your disreputable men are here."
Mal: "Better go take their money."
Firefly
"In space, nobody can hear you in space"
— Alan (T-shirt design from "slightywrong," complete with xenomorph egg graphic https://www.mysoti.com/designer/slig...--tshirt--Alan)
Book [a preacher, after being shot]: "That's... that's quite a lot of blood, isn't it?"
Mal: "Just means you ain't dead."
Book: "'Fraid I might be needing a preacher."
Mal: "That's good. You just lie there and be ironical."
Firefly
"It is not possible (for us) to look at a child and know what the adult he will grow up to be will look liike, yet we are able to look at an adult and see how he came to be from the child he whose photograph we now see."
— Nozick, Invariances
Zoe: "Knew a man who had a hole clean through his whole shoulder, once. Used to keep a spare hankie in there."
Firefly
"Fella I once knew in El Paso, one day he took all his clothes off and jumped in a mess of cactus. I asked him the same question, why? He said it seemed to be a good idea at the time."
— The Magnificent Seven
Jayne [pretending to read from Simon's journal]: "Dear Diary: Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. [flips page] Today we were kidnapped by hillfolk, never to be seen again. It was the best day ever."
Firefly
"Oh, look he's fighting back! This one is like a rabid animal! You better stay back!"
— Police Story
Zoe: "Cap'n'll come up with a plan."
Kaylee: "Well, that's good. Right?"
Zoe: "Possible you're not recalling some of his previous plans."
Firefly
"My dear inspector, I must be allowed to protest on be'alf of my client, for these questions are rhetorical merely. And silence, please! I must allow my little grey cells to inspect, while you wait in most gracious patience, my very dear ladies and gentlemen!"
— no idea, maybe from some Poirot TV episode or just a brief daydream while napping at the desk.
"What do you want me to say? Go ahead and sell it if you want to be a dumbski. Give it a shot."
— Donnie Bracso
Zoe: "You sanguine about the kind of reception we're apt to receive on an Alliance ship, Cap'n?"
Mal: "Absolutely. [pauses] What's 'sanguine' mean?"
Zoe: "'Sanguine.' Hopeful. Plus, point of interest: it also means 'bloody.'"
Mal: "Well, that pretty much covers all the options, don't it?"
Firefly
"Thank you! And I hope you have a reverent, austere Advent season as well, and that you can repent for your irreverent noisemaking premature revelry before it is the season."
— no one, just my fantasy
Doralee: "A place like this might be good for your sister. Quiet, safe… a place where folks take care of each other."
Simon: "Mmm, yes. Seems like a lovely little community of kidnappers."
Firefly
"What follows is not an endorsement of vigilante justice, just a simple reminder that Jackie Coogan was apparently not someone you wanted to fuck with. A lynch mob formed and broke into the prison, grabbed the men, stripped them down, and hung them from a tree in a nearby park."
— "Jackie Coogan: Uncle Fester Was Kind of a Badass", <https://affotd.com/2016/11/30/jackie-coogan>
Doralee: "It's the way of life in my findings that journeys end when and where they want to; and that's where you make your home."
Simon: "This isn't our home."
Doralee: "If it isn't here, where is it?"
Firefly
"I saddled a cow. I milked a horse. [Something something]. Poured ketchup on my shoes!"
— Gordon and Taub, "Saddled the Cow" (song)
Jayne (aboard an Alliance warship): "This place gives me an uncomfortableness."
Firefly
"You ever do this for your clients?
— Very occasionally. Not all of them have enough to get a brush through."
— Firefly
"Mercy is the mark of a great man. Meh. A good man. Meh. I'm all right."
— some TV show (dammit, it is really good, yet again)
See post 1643.Quote:
Originally posted by Jizzelbin
Gabriel Tam: "Have you completely lost your mind?"
Simon: "Pretty nearly."
Firefly
"Saffron — I do know my Bible, sir. On the night of their betrothal, the wife shall open to the man as the furrow to the plow, and he shall work in her, in and again, till she bring him to his fall, and rest him then upon the sweat of her breast.'
Mal — Woah. Good bible."
— FF
^ One of the best quotations from the show!
Gabriel Tam: "We got the wave at the Friedlichs'. I had to leave your mother at the dinner table!"
Simon: "I'm sorry, Dad. You know I would never have tried to save River's life if I had known there was a dinner party at risk."
Firefly
"Mal: I was poisoned.
Kaylee: You were drugged.
Jayne: That's why I never kiss 'em on the mouth."
— FF
Mal: "They let us come, and they let us go. What kind of ident card gets us that kind of reception and send-off?"
Book: "I am a Shepherd. Folks like a man of God."
Mal: "No, they don't. Men of God make everyone feel guilty and judged."
Firefly
"Wash: Yes, Jayne, [River]'s a witch. She's had congress with the beast.
Jayne: She's in Congress?"
— FF
Mal: "Well, look at this! Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?"
Zoe: "Big damn heroes, sir."
Mal: "Ain't we just?"
Firefly
"Zoe: No one's forcing you to go, Jayne: as has been stated, this job is strictly speculative.
Jayne: Good! Don't know these folks, don't much care to.
Mal: They're whores.
Jayne: I'm in."
— FF
LOL!
Mal: "Y'all see the man hanging out of the spaceship with the really big gun? I'm not saying you weren't easy to find. [But] It was kinda out of our way, and he didn't want to come in the first place. Man's lookin' to kill some folk. So really, it's his will y'all should worry about thwarting."
Firefly
"Bunch of fools, worshipping the biggest fool of all time."
— The A-Team, spoken by B.A. Barracus about H.M. Murdock, to no one in particular.
Mal: "Gotta say, Doctor, your talent for alienatin' folks is near-miraculous."
Simon: "Yes, I'm very proud."
Firefly
"Get some Uzis, B.A.: c'mon, we're loading!"
— The A-Team
Simon: "So, finally a decent wound on this ship, and I miss out. I'm sorry."
Mal: "Well, you were busy trying to get yourself lit on fire. It happens."
Firefly
"Hey! Suckah! You better not be talking to no invisible animals!"
— The A-Team
Simon: "Captain, why did you come back for us?"
Mal: "You're on my crew."
Simon: "Yeah, but you don't even like me. Why'd you come back?"
Mal: "You're on my crew. Why're we still talking about this?"
Firefly
"A pour of Kilbeggan Single Pot Still has a golden look and a viscous coat, the latter wearing a heavy crown and marked by chunky tears. The nose is a fruity one, with a strong apple note, plus hints of spice and grassiness."
— from somebody's review
Mal (finishing a joke): "So then the Shepherd says to the Companion, 'Well, a good goat'll do that.'"
Firefly
"Col. Decker: Captain, have you ever wondered why the A-Team manages to slip past us?
Capt: They're good, sir.
Col.: No, they're the best. They think as one. Feel as one. And act as one. But, with a wounded man in their midst, they cease to be that."
— The A-Team
Simon: "It's been a big day, what with the abduction, and all."
Firefly
"It began to rain, she moved into the shelter. A young man followed her, pleasantly spoken, amorously disposed. She could not blame him, it was a natural mistake, she felt sorry for him, she disabused him gently."
— Beckett, Murphy
Mal: "Now think real hard. You been bird-doggin' this township awhile now. They wouldn't mind a corpse of you. Now, you can luxuriate in a nice jail cell, but if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you."
Firefly
"Wylie supported Miss Counihan. mistress of the graded swoon, who murmured. 'Tell me when to look.'"
— Murphy
Jayne: "See, I married me a powerful ugly creature."
Mal (in a dress): "How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people?"
Jayne: "If I could make you prettier I would!"
Firefly
"— Make it a sarpasilla.
[stony faced silence from bartender]
— Is this one of those really tough bars?
[bartender nods]
— Oh. Well let me have a large glass of warm gin served with a human hair in it."
— Rustlers' Rhapsody
Mal: "You can't open the book of my life and jump in the middle. Like Woman, I am a mystery."
Firefly
"Even the most innocent thing said in Regina comes across wrong. Like, I can't ask, 'Hey, where can a guy eat out in Regina?'"
— Jim Gaffigan, Pale Horse
Zoe: "Captain, everyone should have a chance to congratulate you on your day of bliss."
Mal: "There's no bliss. I don't know this girl!"
Firefly
"China deliberately manufactured the virus, and they spread it around the world. I don't think anybody was eating bats. Did you ever have a bat?"
— RG, in Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
Jayne: "Then can I know her?"
Zoe: "Jayne! Don't sully this."
Mal: "You are going to be cleaning out latrines with your face if you don't cut that out."
Firefly
"A premium whiskey at the entry level of Irish Whiskey. The finish is light, but don’t let that fool you it lasts for a while. Starting off with butterscotch and fading fast, to be be replaced by toffee and oak."
— A review of "Slane Irish Whiskey."
"If you expect your comic disregard for your company has convinced anyone, you're very much mistaken. This was to have been corrected, by you or your team, today."
— <e-mail> from anon to anon
Yes, but then again Kilbeggan brings out the best in me.
I kind of liked the "comic disregard" bit, but, well, I was pretty drunk a few hours ago.
True quote, BTW. I somewhat don't think it was wise to say so, but I don't care anymore. It's not anything with forums, just RL quote in e-mail tag with some keyboard jockey at work.
Kaylee: "Oh, sweetie, don't feel bad. He makes everybody cry. He's like a monster."
Mal: "I'm not a monster!"
Firefly
"You just contradicted me.
—No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.
—No, no, no.
You did just then.
—That's ludicrous.
Oh, this is futile.
—No, it isn't.
I came in here for a good argument.
—No, you didn't. You came in here for an argument.
Well, argument isn't the same as contradiction.
—Can be.
No, it can't."
— Monty Python
Mal: "Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back! Wife or no, you are no one's property to be tossed aside. You got the right same as anyone to live and try to kill people."
Firefly
"That little bastard shot me in the ass!"
— Blazing Saddles
Book: "If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of Hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater."
Firefly
"We call her a lobster: all the meat's in the tail."
— Mad Men, probably
Zoe: "So… are you enjoying your own nubile little slave girl?"
Mal: "She wanted to make me dinner. Well, at least she's not cryin'."
Firefly
"You have offended my family and you have offended the Shaolin temple."
— Enter the Dragon
Zoe: "Remember that sex we were planning to have, ever again?"
Firefly
"Stuffed them in an Energy Bar, keep me from getting strangled in the shower, or worse."
— Arrested Development
Mal: "I would appreciate it if one person on this boat would not assume I'm an evil, lecherous hump."
Zoe: "No one's saying that, sir."
Wash: "Yeah, we're pretty much just giving each other significant glances and laughing incessantly."
Firefly
"You just won the gold medal at the sexual Special Olympics. She can't ever find you again. Don't you see that you're so lucky?"
— Arrested Development
Wash: "Every planet has its own weird customs. About a year before we met, I spent six weeks on a moon where the principal form of recreation was juggling geese. My hand to God. Baby geese. Goslings. They were juggled."
Firefly
"I got nasty habits. I take tea at three. And the meat I eat for dinner, must be hung up for a week."
— Stones
Jayne: "Six men came to kill me one time. The best of 'em carried this. It's a Callahan full-bore auto-lock. Customized trigger. Double cartridge thorough gauge. It is my very favorite gun... This is the best damn gun made by man. It has extreme sentimental value. It's miles more worthy'n what you got. [strokes it lovingly] I call it Vera."
Mal: "Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly comin' to a middle."
Firefly
"— Nice beaver!
— Thanks. I just had it stuffed."
— The Naked Gun
Saffron: "But we've been wed. Aren't… we to become one flesh?"
Mal: "Well, no, uh… we're still two fleshes here, and... I think... that your flesh oughta… sleep somewhere else."
Firefly
"Kim: Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it."
-- Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
Saffron: "I do know my Bible, sir: 'On the night of their betrothal, the wife shall open to the man as the furrow to the plow, and he shall work in her, in and again, 'til she bring him to his fall, and rest him then upon the sweat of her breast.'"
Mal [openly staring]: "Whoa. Good Bible."
Firefly
"Hey you stupid shiteating little cocksucker. Why don't you ram a toilet plunger up your ass and jump on a trampoline. You should kill yourself. And learn to speak English, you retarded half breed."
— private correspondence to an unpleasant, anonymous text.
"In any case, of course, the enemy shall be felled quite accidentally as the flailing sword of truth decapitates them. Now—all nonsense aside—you know I have no enemies. Only discarded lovers—and they have their memories."
— Maila "Nurmi" (née Syrjäniemi) aka "Vampira," quoted from her niece, Sandra Niemi's recent biography, [u]Glamour Ghoul[/i]
Saffron: "Do you know the myth of Earth-That-Was?"
Wash: "Not so much."
Saffron: "That when she was born, she had no sky, and was open, inviting. And the stars would rush into her, through the skin of her…"
Wash: "Huh."
Saffron: "...making the oceans boil with sensation. And when she could endure no more ecstasy, she puffed up her cheeks and blew out the sky."
Wash: "Whoa. Good myth."
Firefly
"I think everybody should try [shrooms] once. They're incredible. Like I don't fully trust someone who's never tripped, it's like trusting someone who still has a hotmail account."
— Love s2e4
Saffron: "Make this night what it should be. Please? Show me the stars."
Wash: "... I wish I was somebody else right now. Somebody not… married, not... madly in love with a beautiful woman who... can... kill me with her pinkie!"
Firefly
"À plus, David Hasselhoff! = "See you around, David Hasselhoff!:
— C'est qui, David Hosselhoff? == Who's that supposed to be, this David Hasselhoff?
— a silly French recent comedy, called *MILF*, which I don't need to translate (!!)
Saffron: "You're good."
Inara: "You're amazing. Who are you?"
Saffron: [sneers arrogantly] "Malcolm Reynolds's widow."
Firefly
"Jeff: Hey Troy sneezes like a girl!
Troy: How about I pound you like a boy...that didn't come out right."
— Community season.1
Zoe: "If she can fly this thing, why just take the shuttle?"
Wash: "Maybe she likes shuttles. [Everyone stares at him.] Some people juggle geese!"
Firefly
"Britta: Jeff needs a girl who doesn't just not wear underwear because Oprah told her it would spice things up. He needs a girl who doesn't wear underwear because she hasn't done laundry in three weeks. He's been to flavor country now."
Community s2(?)
Jayne: "That's why I never kiss 'em on the mouth."
Firefly
"For every Action, there is a Jackson"
— unkn., probably related to the "classic" "movie" Action Jackson
Mal: "But she was naked! And all... articulate!"
Firefly
"Hell-Cat Maggie was a well known criminal in Manhattan's Five Points district and a member of the notorious Dead Rabbits gang. She was a fierce street fighter and actually filed her teeth and nails into points to better shred her opponents' skin."
— copy from the back label of a bottle of Hell-Cat Maggie Irish whiskey.
Jayne (to his rifle): "See, Vera? Dress yourself up, you get taken out somewhere fun."
Firefly
"Can you help me? I'm looking for the barn. Do you know where it is? Do you read me, Miss Piggy? Oink oink!"
— Let Go old dude named Artie (played by Ed Asner) accosting a lady on a city street.
Wash: "Captain, don't you know kissin' girls makes you sleepy?"
Mal: "Sometimes, I just can't help myself."
Firefly
"Potter: George, I am an old man, and most people hate me, but I don't like them either, so that makes it all even."
— It's a Wonderful Life
Saffron: "You gonna kill me?"
Mal: "Can you conjure up a terribly compelling reason for me not to?"
Saffron: "I didn't kill you."
Mal: "You handed me and my crew over to those that would kill us. That buys you nothing."
Firefly
"Now choke yourself. Goddamn it, with my hand, numb-nuts. Don't pull my fucking hand over there. I said, choke yourself. Now lean forward and choke yourself."
— some movie (pro-tip: every Marine I've ever met knows every line of this movie: hell, they like you, and they'll let you come over to their house and fuck their sister anytime! True fact!)
Full Metal Jacket, I think.
Mal: "Why the act? All the seduction games, the dancin' around folk, there has to be an easier way to steal."
Saffron: "You're assuming the point is the paycheck."
Mal: "I'm not assuming anything at this point."
Firefly
Of course FMJ!
"Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Didn't your parents have any children that lived?
Leonard Lawrence: Sir, yes sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I bet they regret that!"
— movie
Saffron: "You're quite a man, Malcolm Reynolds. [seductively] I've been waiting a long time for someone good enough to take me down."
Mal: "Saffron, you even think about playing me again I will riddle you with holes."
Firefly
"You will give your rifle a girl's name! Because this is the only pussy you people are going to get! Your days of finger-banging old Mary Jane Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are over! You're married to this piece, this weapon of iron and wood!"
— movie
Saffron: "Everybody plays each other. That's all anybody ever does. We play parts."
Mal: "You've got all kinds o' learnin' and you made me look the fool without even trying, yet here I am, with a gun to your head. That's 'cause I got people with me. People who trust each other, who do for each other, and ain't always lookin' for the advantage."
Saffron: "Promise me you're gonna kill me soon."
Mal: (gets off her) "Oh, you already know I ain't gonna."
Firefly
"Private Pyle, if there is one thing in this world that I hate, it is an unlocked footlocker! You know that, don't you?
—Sir, yes, sir!
If it wasn't for dickheads like you, there wouldn't be any thievery in this world, would there?"
— FMJ
Simon: "I swear... when it's appropriate."
Kaylee: "Simon, the whole point of swearing is that it ain't appropriate."
Firefly
"Al Pacino: Mr. Simms. There's only two syllables in this whole wide world worth hearing. Pussy. Hah! Aren't you listening to me sarr[?]! I'm giving you pearls here."
— Scent of a Woman
Jayne: "Needed to find some tape."
Simon: "So you had to tear my infirmary apart?"
Jayne (looks around): "Apparently."
Simon: "My God. You're like a trained ape... without the training!"
Firefly
"Gentlemen, I put my pants on like you: one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on I make gold records."
— Bruce Dickinson
Jayne: "Oh, listen, Mal, I was in Canton a few years back. Might've made me a few enemies thereabouts."
Simon (sarcastically): "Enemies? You? No, how can it be?"
Firefly
"John Connor: You're not a Terminator anymore. All right? You got that? You just can't go around killing people!
Terminator: Why?
John: What do you mean, why? Because you can't!
Terminator: Why?
John: Because you just can't, OK? Trust me on this."
—Terminator T2
Simon: "Canton really... stinks."
Mal: "That's what makes it such a good drop point. No one comes through here that doesn't have to."
Wash: "I vote we do this job really really fast."
Firefly
"Once a [...] pianist came to [George] asking if he could play for him [...]. Malcolm agreed, the young man took his place at the keyboard, put his right foot on the pedal, raised his arms, and here Malcolm suddenly exclaimed: 'Stop!.' 'But I haven’t played a note yet!' said the victim. 'No, but you were just about going to.'"
— anecdote told by András Schiff in interview on Bach and sustain pedal
Mal: "The management here don't take too kindly to sightseers, [which is] why we're posin' as buyers. There ain't a-one of us looks the part more than the good doctor. I mean, the pretty fits, soft hands, definitely a moneyed individual. All rich and lily-white, pasty all over...."
Simon: "All right! Fine, I'll go. Just... stop describing me."
Firefly
"I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister!"
— some movie
Foreman: "We've over 2,000 workers, mostly indentured. We pay them next to nothing. That way, we can pass the savings directly on to you, the customer."
Simon (struggling to keep up): "Yes. I... I-I've heard great, uh... um, uh... things about mud...."
Firefly
"What is that?
— A caper!
It's a rat turd.
— It is a caper!
It's a rat turd.
— A caper!
Eat it."
— Invasion/Body Snatchers (1978 remake of the Don Siegel classic)
Wash: "What happened to Simon? Who is this diabolical master of disguise?"
Firefly
"Dr. Banzai is using a laser to vaporize the pineal tumor without damaging the quadrigeminal plate. Subcutaneous microphones are gonna allow the patient to transmit verbal instructions to his own brain."
— a movie
Mal: "You wanna tell me how come there's a statue [of you] here, lookin' at me like I owe him something?"
Firefly
"La Revolución is not a goddess but a whore. She was never pure, never saintly, never perfect. And we run away, find another lover, another cause. Quick, sordid affairs. Lust, but no love."
— The Professionals
Simon (staring at a statue of Jayne): "This must be what going mad feels like."
Firefly
"Egon, somehow this reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole in your head. Do you remember that?"
— Ghostbusters
Wash: "I think they captured him, though. Captured his essence."
Kaylee: "He looks sorta angry, don't he?"
Wash: "That's kinda what I meant."
Firefly
Matthias : You are discarded. You are the refuse of the past!
Neville : You're full of crap.
Matthias : How hard it is to admit the truth. Take him to the little room... for the questioning."
— The Omega Man
Jayne: "Hey, I got an idea. Instead of us hanging around playing art critic 'til I get pinched by The Man, how's about we move away from this eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our 'creasingly eerie-ass day, how's that?"
Firefly
"Venkman: Ray… pretend for a moment that I don't know anything about metallurgy, engineering, or physics — and just tell me what the hell is going on."
— Ghostbusters
Mal: "I don't know. This here's a spectacle that might warrant a moment's consideration."
Kaylee (shifting back and forth) "Wherever I move to, his eyes keep... followin' me."
Firefly
Uno "federale": “Badges? We ain’t got no badges. We don’t need no badges. I don’t have to show you any steenking badges!”
— Treas.Madre.
Book: "River, you don't... fix the Bible."
River: "It's broken. It doesn't make sense."
Book: "It's not about... making sense. It's about believing in something. And letting that belief be real enough to change your life. It's about faith. You don't fix faith, River. It fixes you."
Firefly
"TONY STARK: Look at a mod inspiration, let me see what check out. So, recommend one last sim before we pack it in for the night. This time, in the shape of a mobius strip, inverted, please.
F.R.I.D.A.Y: Processing...
TONY STARK: Give me that eigenvalue. That, particle factoring, and a spectral decomp. That will take a second."
— Avenger Endgame
Jayne: "Can't be a statue of me, no reason for it. Flies in the face of every kinda sense."
Wash: "Won't argue with that."
Firefly
"And this is ridiculous: a story about attacking chickens. I'm not going to do it!"
— Beaks
Jayne: "Mmm. They call it 'Mudder's milk.' All the protein, vitamins and carbs of your grandma's best turkey dinner, plus fifteen percent alcohol."
Firefly
"There remains the left hand, whose punctuation is of such great importance as a rhythmic support to the theme."
— Alfred Cortot, commentary on Chopin's Op. 28/8 prélude (F#m)
Wash: "We gotta go to the crappy town where I'm a hero!"
Firefly
"It is not yet a poem about the dance, but the dancer itself, with all the facets of its brilliant entourage."
— Alfred Cortot, commentary to Chopin, Waltz, Op. 18.
Simon (drunkenly): "I... I reattached a girl's leg. Her whole leg. She named her hamster after me. I got a hamster. He drops a box of money, he gets a town."
Kaylee: "Hamsters is nice."
Simon: "To Jayne! The box-dropping, man-ape-gone-wrong thing."
Firefly
“Nobody’s gotten a handjob in cargo shorts since ’Nam!”
— Superbad
Jayne (also drunkenly, and singing): "'The hero of Canton, the man they call 'me'." (speaking) Eggs! Living legend needs eggs!"
Firefly
“[Rodney Dangerfield] was only comfortable in a bathrobe, but he never tied it shut all the way and never wore underwear. So the boys kinda hung out to catch some air. They were exceptionally low-hanging, like a grandfather clock.”
— *An Oral History of Rodney Dangerfield's *Back to School**
Jayne: "You guys had a riot... on account of me? My very own riot?"
Firefly
"It is necessary to use your words, Cicero: 'O times! O morals!' You will see eyes burning at the same time with cruelty and arrogance!"
— Seneca, père. Suasoriae
Jayne: "I don't know. You think we should be using my fame to hoodwink folks?"
Mal: "You better laugh when you say that."
Jayne: "No, really, Mal, I mean, maybe there's something to this. The Mudders? I think I really made a difference in their lives. You know, me, Jayne Cobb."
Mal: "I know your name, jackass!"
Firefly
"O tyrant Titus Tatius, what terrible calamities you brought onto yourself! [O Tite tute Tati tibi tanta tyranne tulisti]"
— Ennius, Annales
Inara: "I know this man. He's... He just has this idiotic sense of nobility, you know? He can never just let things go. He thinks he's this hard-hearted criminal, and he can be unrelenting, but... there's a side to him that's just so...."
Fess: "You mean you actually know... Jayne?"
Inara (after a long pause): "Jayne? Jayne Cobb? You're talking about Jayne Cobb?"
Firefly
"Sara: I'm going riding. I haven't seen a horse's face in years."
— Mank
Jayne (addressing the collected Mudders): "Far as I see it, you people been given the shortest end of the stick ever been offered a human soul in this crap-heel 'Verse. But you took that end, and you... (pause) Well, you took it. And that's... Well, I guess that's somethin'."
Firefly
"As a result of massive discovery from coast to coast and working with innumerable experts, we became unbelievably familiar with UL's guidelines and procedures, particularly as they relate to foreign manufactured Christmas tree lights."
— "Suing Underwriters Laboratories in a Products Liability case."
Jayne: "All of you! You think there's someone just gonna drop money on ya?! Money they could use?! Well, there ain't people like that. There's just people like me."
Firefly
“We need to reflect upon every possibility and to fortify ourselves against whatever hardships may come about. Run through them in your mind: exile, torture, war, shipwreck.”
— Seneca, Letters to Lucilius 91§7
Mal: "It's my estimation that... every man ever got a statue made of him was one kind of sumbitch or another. Ain't about you, Jayne. It's about what they need."
Firefly