I'ing the "man"
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I'ing the "man"
Jumping into conversations with strangers.
Kissing the pope's nose without permission
Loving Bill Cosby's seduction moves.
Mammying a la Ted Danson.
Never admitting you're wrong.
Ollie-ing in front of some nerds.
Putting a live salamander in the collection plate.
Querying a Quebecois about politics.
Ribitting loudly like a frog during French lessons.
Scrimmaging while wearing sandals without socks.
Taking all of the other kids' pieces of birthday cake and giving them to the dog.
Uniting these kids together, convincing them [insert relative] took the cake, and putting the cake in an open trash receptacle.
now that's what I call beat on the brat
Viciously stabbing the paper boy to death when he misses your porch for the third time in a row.
Writing porno and plastering it all over town.
X-ing out the eyes on all the portraits at the Louvre.
Yankee doodle. That is all. Yanqui doodle went to town, Fah Q.
Zebras, a dozen incontinent - releasing them in the cathedral during High Mass
Apoplectically analyzing internet essays from cracked.com.
Busting down the doors of little old ladies just to ask to borrow a cup of sugar.
Coating the labellum of an orchid with dogwater.
Dithering at the movie theater ticket booth, trying to decide what to see, while dozens of people wait behind you.
Estimating the gross weight of an elephant while going full pickle in a supermarket.
Freeing 18 rabid dogs from the animal warden.
Getting Kim Jong-un to lick his finger and flick the bean of an outraged orangutang.
Having your entire collection of orangutangs spray-painted pink.
Instilling fervor to the present Argentine president, Cristina F, without seeing an end in sight.
Jiggling the breasts of a perfect stranger on the subway.
Killing the beast with two backs.
Laughing when your best friend disconsolately admits he's considering suicide.
Making a salmonella-carrying reptile eat the peanut butter off a sleeping madonna.
Never washing your hands after helping someone else use the bathroom.
Opening a can of whoop-ass when you meant to open a can of cream of mushroom soup.
Pouring cream of mushroom soup all over your daughter's college application file.
Queafing on a new bride's shirt.
Realizing that that might actually have happened to the previous poster.
Smearing the celluloid print of a Smurf show with shit -- especially Brainy Smurf, that guy was the fucking worst.
Taking all three of the last cookies on the plate.
Umpiring a hockey game while wearing no pants.
Viciously criticizing a third grader's art project.
Wishing brutal torture upon some stupid kid.
X'ing out all the crossword puzzles in the blind paperboy's stack of The Daily Planet.
Yo momma
Zelig-like, photobombing and showing up in the pictures of people who don't even know you.
Ass-raping a nun at an historic mission in sunny CA
Now there's a mental image I didn't need....
Blundering into a fancy dinner party in nothing but a jockstrap and top hat.
speaking of images...i might want to have dinner sometime! urgh
Cream-pie-making with not fresh ingredients.
Dancing the Funky Chicken while everyone else is waltzing.
Eking out one's daily diet with a great creampie
Farting in a borrowed spacesuit.