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"Why are computer scientists even learning programming? When did this happen? Programming sounds like one of those get-your-hands-dirty jobs in flyover territory, where you would show a lot of ass crack on the job and live in a trailer park. Educated people don't do that."
— an amusing comment on the Slashdot topic titled "CMU Eliminates Object Oriented Programming For Freshman" by a user named "DNS-and-BIND."
Bob: "Weren't you in the news? Some show in, Prayge... Prague?"
Edna: "Milan, darling. Milan. Supermodels. Heh! Nothing super about them... spoiled, stupid little stick figures with poofy lips who think only about themselves. Feh! I used to design for gods!"
The Incredibles
"C++ is a horrible language. It's made more horrible by the fact that a lot of substandard programmers use it, to the point where it's much much easier to generate total and utter crap with it. Quite frankly, even if the choice of C were to do *nothing* but keep the C++ programmers out, that in itself would be a huge reason to use C."
— Linus Torvalds, gmane.comp.version-control.git 2007-09-06 17:50:28 GMT
Violet: "We act normal, mom! I want to be normal! The only normal one is Jack-Jack, and he's not even toilet-trained!"
The Incredibles
"Rupert: Cordelia's a student.
Wesley: Uh, well, erm, I'm here to watch. Girls. Ed uhm, about Buffy and Faith, to be specific.
Cordelia: Well, it's about time we got some fresh blood around here.
Wesley: Eh em, well, 'fresh,' yes."
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 3, Episode 5, "Consequences"
Syndrome: "Oh, I'm real. Real enough to defeat you! And I did it without your precious gifts, your oh-so-special powers. I'll give them heroics. I'll give them the most spectacular heroics anyone's ever seen! And when I'm old and I've had my fun, I'll sell my inventions so that everyone can be superheroes. Everyone can be super! And when everyone's super... [laughs to himself] no one will be."
The Incredibles
"Yo, some guy fucked that baby into Mary. Not that it matters."
—Nihilist Arby's Dec 24th, 2019
Dash: "Are we there yet?"
Mr. Incredible: "We get there when we get there!"
The Incredibles
"Buffy: When you look back on this, in the three seconds it will take you to turn to dust, I think you'll find the mistake was: touching my stuff.
Girl vampire: What about breaking your arm? How does that feel?
Buffy: Let me answer that question with a headbutt."
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 4, Episode 1
Helen: "Right now, honey, the world just wants us to fit in, and to fit in, we gotta be like everyone else."
Dash: "But Dad always said our powers were nothing to be ashamed of, our powers made us special."
Helen: "Everyone's special, Dash."
Dash: [muttering] "Which is another way of saying no one is."
The Incredibles
"Rick Dalton: What the fuck was that? Jesus Christ! Fuck! Shit. God dammit, Rick. [unintellible] remember your fucking lines, embarrass yourself in front of all the goddammned people."
— Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Syndrome: "Oh, ho ho! You sly dog! You got me monologuing! I can't believe it...."
The Incredibles
"I'm getting too old for this shit."
— often veridical phrase said sometimes in the movies, and IRL
Old Man #1: "Ya see that? That's the way to do it. That's old school."
Old Man #2: "Yeah. No school like the old school."
Old Man #1: "Yeah!"
The Incredibles
"[Main dude typing into "Google"]: John Paul George Ringo
[search engine replies page including picture of JPII]
[Main dude]: Aw. Fuck off. No!"
— Yesterday
Syndrome: "It's finally ready! You know, I went through quite a few supers to make it worthy to fight you, but man, it wasn't good enough! After you trashed the last one, I had to make some major modifications. Sure, it was difficult, but you are worth it. I mean, after all... I am your biggest fan."
The Incredibles
"Saigon. Shit. I'm still only in Saigon."
— some middle-aged asshole in some stupid movie about a dream about war
Syndrome: "My name is not Buddy! And it's not Incrediboy, either. That ship has sailed. All I wanted was to help you. I only wanted to help, and what do you say to me?"
Mr. Incredible: [flashback] "Fly home, Buddy. I work alone."
Syndrome: "It tore me apart. But I learned an important lesson. You can't count on anyone, especially your heroes."
The Incredibles
"Cop: Would you mind stepping out of the car, ma'am?
PW: Sure, Officer, Why? Anything wrong?
Cop: Just wanted to take a look at that cute little outfit you had on!"
— a movie
Edna: "You need a new suit, that much is certain."
Bob: "A new suit? Well, where the heck am I gonna get a new suit?"
Edna: "You can't! It's impossible! I'm far too busy, so ask me now before I can become sane."
Bob: "Wait. You want to make me a suit?"
Edna: "You push too hard, darling! But I accept."
The Incredibles
"Perfect for Hunting Range Studying Lawn Mowing for Men Women Adults"
— a pretty ridiculous blurb of ad copy for an over-the-ear set of hearing protectors.
Elastigirl: "Remember the bad guys on the shows you used to watch on Saturday mornings? Well, these guys aren't like those guys. They won't exercise restraint because you are children. They will kill you if they get the chance. Do not give them that chance."
The Incredibles
"— What is, 'Space Fleet'? It is a goal, for us to strive towards. For the betterment of the universe, or that of life itself."
— Black Mirrror, season 4, episode 1, "USS Callister"
Helen: "What on earth do you think the baby will be doing?"
Edna: "Well, I am sure I don't know, darling. Luck favors the prepared."
The Incredibles
"Jack: Oh, uh, you like to look at other peoples' cards, do you?
Danny: Yes.
Jack: You ever seen this one?"
— One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Mr. Incredible: "I should have told you I was fired, I admit it. But I didn't want you to worry."
Elastigirl: "You didn't want me to worry? And now we're running for our lives through some godforsaken jungle!"
Mr. Incredible: [grinning happily] "You keep trying to pick a fight, but I'm still just happy you're alive."
The Incredibles
"Nurse: 'Mr. Martini? Are you with us?'
Martini: 'Yes.'
Nurse: 'Would you like to begin?'"
— One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Lucius: "Superladies? They're always trying to tell you their secret identity... think it'll strengthen the relationship or something like that. I say, 'Girl, I don't wanna know about your mild-mannered alter ego or anything like that. I mean, you tell me you're, uh... Super, Mega, Ultra Lightning Babe, that's all right with me. I'm good... I'm good.'"
The Incredibles
"Rebuilding your transmission is a fun and inexpensive way to fix your car."
— some jerk on some webpage
Helen: "Tell me you haven't been listening to the police scanner again."
Bob: "Look, I performed a public service. You act like that's a bad thing."
Helen: "It is a bad thing, Bob! Uprooting our family again so that you can relive the glory days is a very bad thing!"
Bob [defensively]: "Reliving the glory days is better than pretending they never happened!"
The Incredibles
Rupert: "It's clear we're dealing with a spirit of some kind. It's very common for Indian spirits to change to whatever form."
Buffy: "Yeah, well it's uncommon for me to freeze up during a fight. I mean, I had the guy, I was ready for the take-down and then, I stopped. And, 'Native American.'"
Rupert: "Sorry?"
Buffy: "We don't say 'Indian.'"
Ruper: "Right, yes, yes: always behind on the terms. Still trying not to refer to you lots as bloody colonials."
— Buffy Season 4 Episode 8
Mr. Incredible: "Wait here and stay hidden. I'm going in."
Elastigirl: "While what? I watch helplessly from the sidelines? I don't think so."
Mr. Incredible: "I'm asking you to wait with the kids."
Elastigirl: "And I'm telling you, not a chance. You're my husband, I'm with you - for better or worse."
The Incredibles
"They cooked shellfish collected from sea coast. If they went out to collect shellfish at the wrong time, they're dead. They have to be able to time their accesss to the coastline so that they're here when the tides are right to collect those shellfish."
— Shanyu Ji, lecture notes from some unknown lecture.
Dash: "That was the best vacation ever! [sighs contentedly] I love our family."
The Incredibles
Trumpet guy: "Maybe you should set yout sights a little higher. My trumpet was always Gina Lollabirggida."
Alto guy: "I've never heard of her."
Trumpet guy: "A fine woman."
Alto guy: "But try erm Kim Basinger."
Trumpet guy: "Is she ... [gestures]?"
Alto guy: "Oh, yeah."
Trumpet guy: "Good. Pick a nipple and try it again."
What's that from?
Kari: "You don't have to worry about one single thing, Mrs. Parr. I've got this baby-sitting thing wired. I've taken courses and learned CPR, and I've got excellent marks and certificates I can produce on demand."
Elastigirl: "Kari..."
Kari: "I also brought Mozart to play while he sleeps to make him smarter because leading experts say Mozart makes babies smarter..."
Elastigirl: "Kari...."
Kari: "...and the beauty part is the babies don't even have to listen 'cause they're asleep! You know, I wish my parents played Mozart when I slept because half the time I don't even know what the heck anyone's talking about!"
The Incredibles
Dennis: "The recognition of inequality that was present in cinema since its beginning days: the objectifying of the female form. I mean, with Thundergun, a great injustice was rectified. OK? Fairness of the sexes: a unification of the human condition."
Focus group lady: "I'm sorry, is this still about the flaccid penis that you'd like to see?"
Martini: "You're goddamned right!"
— Always Sunny Season 14, Episode 2.
Oh, sorry about bibliographical lapse above. That's from the movie The Commitments.
Ah, thanks. I'd forgotten that.
Bernie Kropp: "You're letting him go again? He's guilty! You can see it in his smug little face. Guilty, I say! Guilty! Guilty! Noooo!"
The Incredibles
Spike: "Well. I mean, yeah, I get why the demons fall in line with you. You're like Tony Robbins. If he were a big scary-looking Frankenstein.... I mean, you're exactly like Tony Robbins."
— Bufffy Season 4, Episode 20
Mirage: "Valuing life is not weakness."
Syndrome: "Oh, hey, look, look, if you're talking about what happened in the containment unit, I had everything under control."
Mirage: "And disregarding it is not strength."
Syndrome: "Look, I called his bluff, sweetheart, that's all. I knew he wouldn't have it in him to actually...."
Mirage: [through her teeth] "Next time you gamble, bet your own life."
The Incredibles
"Let a woman learn in silence with full submission. I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she is to keep silent." — I Timothy, 2:11-12 , unkn. translation (I'd have done it myself, but my Vulgate's in the car.)
Violet: "Well, I think Dad has made some excellent progress today, but I think it's time we wind down now."
The Incredibles
Richard Tee: "Well, you just want to sort of [demonstrates]...Use something else instead. These two fingers always [demonstrates]."
...
Tee: "Cause classical will also help you to read. Classical music has no...no changes, just notes. If you want to know what notes, just look at the left and, there's time signature, key signature, just notes."
— Richard Tee Contemporary Piano, with Steve Gadd. 1984.
ETA ab eodem: "All that stuff, done with a metronome: I don't care how much time you think you have, all that done with a metronome."
Helen: "He put a tack on the teacher's chair. During class."
Dash: "Nobody saw me. You could barely see it on the tape."
Bob: "They caught you on tape and you still got away with it? Whoa! You must have been booking! How fast do you think you were going?"
Helen: "Bob, we are not encouraging this!"
The Incredibles
"And we just loved it, on the ride out there we'd see things we didn't see in the city. And we'd see, cows moving about. Horses. Pigs. Chickens strutting about with all their parts intact, you know what I mean? Not a bucket of wings or nothing like that, you know. And we'd pull up in front the acreage and they'd be waiting for us up front, and they talk that real funny talk out there. They talk that creole talk. Some of them they spoke no English at all, they just talk that creole, and them that spoke the English, sometimes, they had such an accent, you didn't know what they were talking about."
— Allen Toussaint, spoken introduction to his performance of his tune "Southern Nights" from his live album called Songbook.
Mirage: "I've got to warn you. It's a learning robot. Every minute you spend fighting it only increases its knowledge of how to beat you."
Mr. Incredible: "Shut it down, do it quickly, don't destroy it."
Mirage: "And don't die."
Mr. Incredible: "Great. Thanks."
The Incredibles
"Fuck.
I'm tired as hell after beating my feet few hours non stop and hearing that crazy bitch shouting into the radio her dumbass shit."
— yeah, that's verbatim from me to a gal pal from work yesterday, via text.
Just so you all don't think you're all special and get my unidvided attention. That really is how I talk IRL.
ETA Yeah, here's the reply, from my girl yesterday at 20:06: "grin grin grin grin [emoticons, you know, grinning face, four of them] Go get some rest!!!!!! That damn hour is fucking me up already"
My reply to that? "Hey, rock steady, it is what it is!"
Maybe we're not doing a chess club mensa meeting, but we get along.
Bob: "E., I just need a patch job. For... sentimental reasons."
Edna: "Fine. I will also fix the hobo suit."
Bob: "You're the best of the best, E.!"
Edna: [world-weary] "Yes, I know, dahling."
The Incredibles
'During this significant national health event we want to ensure you are putting your health and the health of those around you first.
Effective immediately and continuing through the month, we will not use any Unpaid Time (UPT) or assign attendance points if you are unable to come to work. We are in the process of updating the system to reflect this change.
We appreciate your understanding."
— some company to their employees. They're full of shit: I don't believe a word of that crap. I don't believe it constitutes a binding amendment to policy, and I'm a hundred percent sure they'll use it as an excuse to terminate whoever they feel like for absenteeism.
Bob: [whispering] "Listen closely. I'd like to help you but I can't. I'd like to tell you to take a copy of your policy to Norma Wilcox on... Norma Wilcox, W-I-L-C-O-X... on the third floor, but I can't. I also do not advise you to fill out and file a WS2475 form with our Legal Department on the second floor. I would not expect someone to get back to you quickly to resolve the matter. I'd like to help, but there's nothing I can do."
The Incredibles
"I'm notifying in advance my absence today. Per the new attendance policy, I expect zero deductions from UPT. I observe symptoms, but I also don't have the tools to self-diagnose. I suspect a non-zero chance that I might be infectious and would rather not be an inadvertent carrier and risk the health of my coworkers today, despite my excellent habits of preventative hygiene. If AMZL does not abide by its current official statement and insists on docking my UPT, that would be noteworthy indeed." — somebody's slightly snotty screed reporting, as a courtesy, his or her absence from work today.
Aside, I"m guessing The Incredibles might actually be worth looking at! I don't know where I got that idea, but maybe I'll have to check it out. Not so much into the cartoons, but maybe that'll be a worthwhile change of pace!
"Actually, I'm going to be forwarding your non-specific request to our
regional manager, as well as my local HR representative.
I don't think you understand that there are some actionable
consequences, and while I'm sure you represent a fine firm, indeed,
there are some problems with your "claims."
I don't have the resources or time to retaliate, but I believe it's
fair to say you've opened yourself, on behalf of your firm, to a
tortious claim on the behalf of AMZ, and you've also wasted my time,
which I cherish, as I'm sure you do.
Regrettably yours,
J____ E ________"
— my portion of a forwarded e-mail to my HR rep and my regional manager.
Did I mention I'm kind of in a bad mood today? Just a few days ago some people I like just lost a cool quarter million overnight because of this ridiculous panic in the streets. Granted, it's not my money, but it's just a bad scene.
ETA Oh, some context, some third-party firm pretending to headhunt/scavenge for what they claim are AMZ jobs. AFAIK, it's complete bullshit: I wasn't born yesterday, you know. So, yeah, I cc'ed my reply, quoted above, together with the whole quotes from who I'm pretty sure is just some jackass troll.
Is something going to happen as a result? No, probably not, but I'm pretty sure that's a ten minute job for HR to get legal on the spammers to STFU.
And, yes, I'm in a bad mood, so, fuck them.
Yes, by all means, check out The Incredibles - my all-time favorite Pixar movie, and sure to lift your spirits. A fun, clever superhero movie with surprising emotional resonance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJCjKQQOqT0
"I may be an alarmist, I may be entirely wrong about the whole matter, but I've seen this disease work. And I'm telling you if it ever gets loose it can spread over the entire country. And the result will be more horrible than any of you can imagine. And the key to the whole thing lies right here, now, in the next forty-eight hours."
— Widmark as "Dr. Reed" in Panic In The Streets
Elastigirl: "Settle down, are you kidding? I'm at the top of my game! I'm right up there with the big dogs! Girls, come on. Leave the saving of the world to the men? I don't think so."
The Incredibles
"Damn you. God damned you all to hell."
— some movie about stuff and whatever
Kind of close to what Taylor says at the end of Planet of the Apes: "You maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"
Bob: "You know I'm retired from hero work."
Edna: "As am I, Robert, yet here we are."
The Incredibles
Some might say it's identical to what Taylor said at the end of The Planet of the Apes. I would probably agree with those people.
"As Frege's work to accomplish his goal progressed, identity came to play an important role in his thought in a way that raised certain challenging questions." — Claire Ortiz Hill, Rethinking Identity and Metaphysics. On the Foundations of Analytic Philosophy (Yale UP 1997)
"Get it straight, Buster. I'm not here to say 'please' I'm here to tell you what to do. And if self-preservation is an instinct you possess, you better fucking do it and do it quick." — some movie
Gilbert Huph: "Complaints I can handle. What I can't handle is your customers' inexplicable knowledge of Insuricare's inner workings. They're experts! Experts, Bob! Exploiting every loophole! Dodging every obstacle! They're penetrating the bureaucracy!"
The Incredibles
"I eat lightning and crap thunder, OK? Because I'm Mr. Incredible! Not Mr. So-So or Mr. Mediocre-Guy! Mr. Incredible!"
— Incredibles 2
Bob: "Did I do something illegal?"
Gilbert Huph: [begrudgingly] "No."
Bob: "Are you saying we shouldn't help our customers?"
Gilbert Huph: [through gritted teeth] "The law requires that I answer no."
Bob: "We're supposed to help people!"
Gilbert Huph: "We're supposed to help our people! Starting with our stockholders, Bob! Who's helping them out, huh?"
The Incredibles
"—How you want that chickens, legs or wings?
Four fried chickens. And a Coke.
You all want something to drink with that?
— No ma'am, just dry white toast. And a Coke."
Bob: "Want to catch a robber?"
Lucius: "No. To tell you the truth, I'd rather go bowling. Look, what if we actually did what our wives think we're doing... just to shake things up?"
The Incredibles
"Aretha and the gals: Think!
Matt 'Guitar' Murphy: Let's boogie!"
— The Blues Brothers
Mr. Incredible: "I was wrong to treat you that way. I'm sorry...."
Syndrome: "See? Now you respect me, because I'm a threat. That's the way it works. Turns out there are lots of people, whole countries, that want respect, and will pay through the nose to get it. How do you think I got rich? I invented weapons, and now I have a weapon that only I can defeat, and when I unleash it... [Mr. Incredible throws a log at Syndrome, who dodges it and traps Mr. Incredible with his zero-point energy ray] Oh, ho ho! You sly dog! You got me monologuing! I can't believe it...."
The Incredibles
"Sorry about that, Pete, but itailgating is one thing I can't tolerate.
--Yeah, I can see that, Mr. Eddy."
--Lost Highway
Elastigirl: "You're in charge until I get back, Violet."
Dash: "What?"
Violet: "You heard her."
The Incredibles
"I still don't get what you're after. A planet where apes evolved from men?
Don't look what you're after, Taylor. You may not like what you find."
Dash: "Dad, that was so cool when you threw that car!"
Mr. Incredible: "Not as cool as you running on water!"
The Incredibles
"Oh, please, dear: for your information, the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint!"
Edna: "They're all finished, when are you coming to see?"
Helen: "Look, I'm calling about...."
Edna: "Don't make me beg, darling, I won't do it, you know!"
Helen: [trying to talk over Edna] "Beg? Uh, no, I'm, I'm calling about a suit, about, about Bob's suit. I'm calling about Bob's suit!"
Edna: "You come in one hour darling, I insist, okay? Okay, bye-bye."
The Incredibles
"All shapes and sizes, Vincent. All shapes and sizes."
Edna: "Your boy's suit I designed to withstand enormous friction without heating up or wearing out, a useful feature. Your daughter's suit was tricky, but I finally created a sturdy material that can disappear completely as she does. Your suit can stretch as far as you can without injuring yourself, and still retain its shape. Virtually indestructible, yet it breathes like Egyptian cotton."
The Incredibles
"It ain't cool being no jive turkey, so close to Thanksgiving."
—Trading Places
Bob: "You're out of ice? You can't run out of ice! I thought you could use the water in the air!"
Lucius: "There is no water in the air! What's your excuse, running out of muscle?"
Bob: "I can't just go smashing through walls! The building's getting weaker by the second, it's going to come down on top of us!"
Lucius: "I wanted to go bowling!"
The Incredibles
"— The hell you weigh?
260.
— Hey, your left ass weighs 260.
Meh, my mother dropped that on the spot in London."
— The Green Book
Elastigirl: "Let go of me! Let go, you lousy, lying, unfaithful creep...."
Mr. Incredible [kissing her]: "How could I betray the perfect woman?"
Elastigirl: "Oh, you're referring to me, now?"
The Incredibles
"Oh papa! He's doing the Jerk
Papa, he's doing the Jerk
He's doing the twist, just like this,
He's doing the Fly every day and every night
The thing's, like the Boomerang."
— some song
Bob: "Well, what are you waiting for?"
Little Boy on Tricycle: "I don't know. Something amazing, I guess."
Bob: [sighs] "Me too, kid."
The Incredibles
'— Where you boys from?
LA
— Huh?
Los Angeles.[omit]
Well you sure got a nice spread out here.
—Well, you know, wife's Catholic you know."
—Easy Rider
Helen: "Have a great day, honey. Help customers, climb ladders...."
Bob: "Bring bacon."
Helen: "All that jazz."
The Incredibles
"It's showtime."
— All That Jazz
Syndrome: "You, sir, truly are Mr. Incredible. You know, I was right to idolize you? I always knew you were tough, but tricking the probe by hiding under the bones of another super? Oh, man! I'm still geeking out about it!"
The Incredibles
"INTJ may often feel that ENTP is unfocused and indecisive."
— I don't know, some website about INTJ and ENTP Meyers-Brigg (sp?) compatability as sexual partners
Helen: "I love you, but if we're going to make this work, you have to be more than Mr. Incredible. You know that, don't you?"
Minister: "...so long as you both shall live?"
Bob: "I do."
The Incredibles
"Viruses cannot travel on radio waves or via the 5G mobile network. It is spread through respiratory droplets when an infected person coughs, sneezes or speaks – which is why it’s important to wear your face covering correctly over your mouth and nose."
Thursday's important Notification to AMZN employees, chock full of good information and sound advice.
Dash: "You want to go toward the people that tried to kill us?"
Elastigirl: "If it means land, yes."
The Incredibles
"Hooker: What do you do here?
Rain Man: We're counting cards
Hooker: Yeah, but what do you do here?
Rain Man: We're counting cards
Hooker: Yeah, but what do you do here?
Rain Man: Are you taking any prescription medications?"
—probably some movie about excellent drivers
Elastigirl: "Of course I have a secret identity. Can you see me in this at the, at the supermarket? Come on! Who'd want to go shopping as Elastigirl, know what I mean?"
The Incredibles
"Do you like that suit?
— It's not a K-Mart
How could you not like that suit? It's fantastic, Ray. How could you not like that suit?
— It's not a K-Mart suit.
I'll let you in on a secret, Ray.
— Yeah
K-Mart sucks. OK?
— Yeah"
—Rain Man
Mr. Incredible: "I've been meaning to ask you. Of all places to settle down, why...."
Mirage: "A volcano? My employer is attracted to power. As am I. It's a weakness we both share."
Mr. Incredible: "Seems a little... unstable."
Mirage: "I prefer to think of it as misunderstood."
Mr. Incredible: "Aren't we all?"
The Incredibles
"Jason Staebler: You notice how it's Monopoly out there? Remember Boardwalk, Park Place, Marvin Gardens?
David Staebler: Go to jail?
Jason Staebler: Well, that's me. Don't pass go, don't collect $200."
— The King of Marvin Gardens
"
Syndrome: "Oh, come on! You gotta admit this is cool! Just like a movie! The robot will emerge dramatically, do some damage, throw some screaming people, and just when all hope is lost, Syndrome will save the day! I'll be a bigger hero than you ever were!"
The Incredibles
"M: I told you not to look at that egg! It was too wet!
R: You don't get to tell me what to look at. I've seen your pornhub account."
—Rick and Morty S04E07
Underminer: "Behold, the Underminer! I'm always beneath you, but nothing is beneath me! I hereby declare war on peace and happiness! Soon, all will tremble before me!"
The Incredibles
"What the motherfucking shit is that crap? Fuck you, homos!"
— an unnamed person commenting on people banging pots and pans at 1902
Lawyer: "Mr. Sansweet didn't ask to be saved. Mr. Sansweet didn't want to be saved. And the injuries received from Mr. Incredible's so-called 'actions' cause him daily pain."
Bob: [lunging towards Sansweet] "Hey, I saved your life!"
Oliver Sansweet: "You didn't save my life, you ruined my death, that's what you did!"
The Incredibles
"Birdman: The road your father and I walked together is soaked in the blood of both friends and enemies. The war is far from over. We live our lives in hiding."
— Rick and Morty, "The Wedding Squanchers"
Elastigirl: "Now our kids are in danger?"
Mr. Incredible: "Well, if you suspected danger, why'd you bring them?"
Elastigirl: "I didn't bring them, they stowed away! And I don't think you're striking the proper tone here!"
The Incredibles
"When that time came Michael was surprised to find that the mother was coming with them to the Corleone villa at the request of the bride."
—The Godfather
Mirage: "I've got to warn you. It's a learning robot. Every minute you spend fighting it only increases its knowledge of how to beat you."
Mr. Incredible: "Shut it down, do it quickly, don't destroy it."
Mirage: "And don't die."
Mr. Incredible: "Great. Thanks."
The Incredibles
"The great horned owl's song is normally a low-pitched but loud ho-ho-hoo hoo hoo (or also transcribed as bu-bubu booh, who-hoo-ho-oo or who-ho-o-o, whoo-hoo-o-o, whoo) and can last for four or five syllables. One transliteration is 'You still up? Me too'."
— Wikipedia, "Great Horned Owl"
Mr. Incredible (after crashing/parking the RV): "Is everybody okay back there?"
Violet: "Super-duper, Dad."
Dash: "Let's do that again!"
The Incredibles
"I swear, man, when my hormones get in balance, shares in kleenex are going to take a dive, man."
—Kick-Ass
Bob: "Someone was in trouble...."
Rick Dicker: "Someone's always in trouble."
Bob: "I had to do something."
Rick Dicker: "Yeah. Every time you say that, Bob, it means a month-and-a-half of trouble for me, and thousands of dollars of taxpayer money. We have to pay to keep the company quiet, pay damages, erase memories, relocate your family. Every single time it gets harder. Money, money, money money money... We can't keep doing this, Bob! We appreciate what you did in the old days, but those days are over. From now on, you're on your own."
The Incredibles
"You remember Graham? said Mr Hackett.
The poisoner, said the gentleman.
The solicitor, said Mr Hackett.
I knew him slightly, said the gentleman. Six years, was it not.
Seven, said Mr Hackett. Six are rarely given."
— S. Beckett, Watt
Syndrome (showing off his newest Omnidroid): "It's bigger. It's badder. Ladies and gentlemen, it's too much for Mr. Incredible!"
The Incredibles
"To drown out the din from uncontrolled dogs and shrieking neighbor "singers," when I don't feel like interrupting my practice at the desk, solo piano works by composers like Ch. Alkan and Cecil Taylor is acceptable, provided it's within civil ordinances.
After all, I must rehearse, and there's not a goddamned thing you can do about it, copper. "
— an unnamed solution finder
Syndrome (holding the Parr's infant son, Jack-Jack): "Shhh. The baby's sleeping. You took away my future. I'm simply returning the favor. Oh, don't worry. I'll be a good mentor: supportive, encouraging... everything you weren't. And in time, who knows? He might make a good sidekick."
The Incredibles
"Lyle: Well, don't piss on the seat, even if they did. It's just not lucky."
— Red Rock West
Violet: "You mean Dad's in trouble, or Dad is the trouble?"
Elastigirl: "I mean, either he's in trouble, or he's going to be."
The Incredibles
"Life is fearfully expensive, and the climate is rotten. The air in the areas where we could find an apartment big enough for us at a reasonable price is frightful [...] you cannot make any noise. You have to wear house slippers after 10 at night."
— private letter from Scriabin to a friend, about life in Paris
Reverend: "Robert Parr, will you have this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?"
Helen: "You're late. When you asked me if I was doing anything later, I didn't realize you'd actually forgotten. I thought it was playful banter."
Bob: "It was playful banter."
Helen: "Cutting it kinda close, don't ya think?"
Bob: "You need to be more... flexible."
The Incredibles
"Made with an improved fit, this pant features an action gusset crotch."
— pants
Lucius: "We look like bad guys. Incompetent bad guys!"
The Incredibles
"and before another dayspring greyened the earth had been swept away with the sand, the beer, the butts, the glass, the matches, the spits, the vomit."
— S.Beckett, Murphy
Elastigirl (to her panicking children): "Stop it! We are not gonna die! Now, both of you will get a grip! Or so help me, I will ground you for a month. Understand?
The Incredibles
"When it rains on your neck, it doesn't help when you start shoveling."
— Finnish proverb
Helen: [picking something off Bob's shoulder] "Is this... rubble?"
Bob: [mouth is full of a huge piece of cake] "It was just a little workout, just to stay loose."
Helen: "You know how I feel about that, Bob! Darn you, we can't blow cover again!"
Bob: "The building was coming down anyway."
The Incredibles
"I am not now nor have I ever been known as a 'gloom cookie'"
— The Twilight Zone, "Printer's Devil"
Mirage: "The supers are not gone, Mr. Incredible. You're still here. You can still do great things. Or... you can listen to police scanners. Your choice."
The Incredibles
Watt: "Fuck life!"
— Beckett, Mercier and Camier
Rick Dicker: "We've frozen all of Syndrome's assets. If he even sneezes, we'll be there with a hankie and a pair of handcuffs."
The Incredibles
"Murphy said nothing. The self that he tried to love was tired."
— Beckett, Murphy
Lucius: "You remember Gazer Beam?"
Bob: "Yeah, there was something about him in the paper."
Lucius: "He had trouble adjusting to civilian life, too."
Bob: "When was the last time you saw him?"
Lucius: "I don't see anyone from the old days, Bob, just you, and we're pushing our luck as it is."
The Incredibles
"At the sound of the roar and the flash of light, it will be precisely 6:43 P.M. on Maple Street...This is Maple Street on a late Saturday afternoon. Maple Street in the last calm and reflective moment - before the monsters came."
— The Twilight Zone, "The Monsters Are Due at Maple Street"
Dash: "Hey! No forcefields!"
Violet: "You started it!"
The Incredibles
"Joey Crown, musician with an odd, intense face, who, in a moment, will try to leave the Earth and discover the middle ground - the place we call The Twilight Zone."
— The Twilight Zone, "A Passage For Trumpet"
Mr. Incredible: "Of course I have a secret identity. I don't know a single superhero who doesn't. Who wants the pressure of being super all the time?"
The Incredibles
"You know it's the strangest thing, but I was just standing outside this window only a moment ago, right here
— You were?
Yes I was. And you'll never guess what I saw through that window, Gregory, or at least you'll never guess what I thought I saw.
— I couldn't possibly guess.
I thought I saw a woman in your arms."
— The Twilight Zone, "A World of His Own"
Mr. Incredible (to Buddy, an annoying fan who wants to be his sidekick): "You're not affiliated with me!"
The Incredibles
"The name is Incrediboy!"
— The Incredibles
Violet: "Mom! Mom, what happened on the plane... I-I'm sorry, I wanted to - when you asked me to... I'm sorry...."
Helen: "Shh... it isn't your fault. It wasn't fair for me to suddenly ask so much of you. But things are different now, and doubt is a luxury we can't afford anymore, sweetie. You have more power than you realize. Don't think, and don't worry. If the time comes, you'll know what to do. It's in your blood."
The Incredibles
"I saw [Edd] Byrnes hit Shatner, who went over the wing of the airplane, down forty feet to the [water] tank below! What I didn’t know was that they had dressed a dummy in Shatner’s clothes. All I could think at the time was, screw Shatner, now I have to re-shoot this whole thing! But Shatner is a wonderful guy. I enjoyed working with him tremendously.”
— Richard Donner's reminiscence from directing The Twilight Zone, "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet"
Mirage: "Hello, Mr. Incredible. Yes, we know who you are. Rest assured, your secret is safe with us. My name is Mirage. We have something in common. According to the government, neither of us exist."
The Incredibles
"What could top the catchy “ Price-line Ne-go-ti-a-tor!” tagline from the commercials and Shatner’s charm?"
— a very perspicacious and clever commentator, named Aylin Zafar, for the very important United States periodical, Time. Magazine. On the nineteenth of January, of 2012, reporting on why, William Shatner was not consulted on a very grave error by priceline. Dot com. New horizons, new directions. For them, but William Shatner looks forward. Across the galaxy, if he must.
"Take my love
Take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care
I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me."
Firefly
"In this context, in addition to the destruction of brain areas and laceration of intracerebral arteries, the punched-out fragment of skin in the brain determines the prognosis. This bacterially contaminated fragment is responsible for the development of pyogenic meningitis that leads to cerebral dysregulation and death."
— Betz, Pankratz, Penning, and Eisenmenger, "Homicide with a Captive Bolt Pistol, or a Summary of How Fans of the Television Program Firefly Envisioned the End of Times to Fox Network Executives," Am J Forensic Med Pathol,vol. 14, no. 1 (1993), p. 56.
Mal: "We have done the impossible, and that makes us mighty."
Firefly
"I'll be in my bunk."
— Firefly
Bendis: "We're gonna die."
Mal: "We're not gonna die. We can't die, Bendis. You know why? Because we are so... very... pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die. Huh? Look at that chiseled jaw!"
Firefly
"— What is the point of all those bloody pushups if you can't even lift a bloody log?"
— Batman Begins
"This is a fertile land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land."
Firefly
"You know, studio executives, you know, are not noted for their social courage."
— John Milius as interviewed in the documentary Heart of Darkness.
Wash (as stegosaurus): "Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"
Firefly
"Vitamount For Women is designed specifically to meet the diverse needs of women of all ages."
— some random bit of ad copy from Bing for some product
Wash (as allosaurus): "Ha ha ha! Mine is an evil laugh! Now DIE!"
Firefly
"Give you an example, show you what I mean: suppose you’re thinking about a plate of shrimp. Suddenly someone’ll say, like, “plate,” or “shrimp,” or “plate of shrimp” out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin’ for one, either. It’s all part of a cosmic unconsciousness."
— Repo Man
Zoe: "I know something ain't right."
Wash: "Sweetie, we're crooks. If everything were right, we'd be in jail."
Firefly
"Father to Blue: Now you keep ahold of him [Uncle Buck/Cameron Mitchell]: one whiff of whiskey or perfume, he's a hard man to hold down."
—[i]The High Chaparral" Ep. 1, "Destination Tucson"
Zoe: "Sir, we don't want to deal with Patience again."
Mal: "Why not?"
Zoe: "She shot you."
Mal: "Well, yeah, she did a bit."
Firefly
"The majority of finnish women seem at first glance not very appealing. Many of them have round grayish color faces, snub noses, a rare straight hair, short hairstyle, medium height, even excessive fullness and lack of waist. Their feet are full and short. They have large bones, wide back and knees, big palms of hands and soles of the feet. Such structure of the body better retains heat. Finnish women rarely use cosmetics. They does not wear shoes on heels. Sneakers and moccasins are favorite shoes in this country."
This is obviously the handiwork of a demented lunatic, but I think it's a very blunt way of describing its relationship to his or her body, I find it as remarkable in its simplicity as it is in its simplicity.
—The link is SFW, it's just an offensive bit of stereotyping of the Finns, but not anything more.
Mal: "Did you send word to Patience?"
Wash: "Yeah, ain't heard back yet. Didn't she shoot you one time?"
Mal: "Everyone's makin' a fuss!"
Firefly
"It's not necrophilia if the body's still warm."
— not too sure: could be an original, but I doubt it.
Mal: "I believe that woman's plannin' to shoot me again."
Jayne: "Here's a little concept I've been working on. Why don't we shoot her first?"
Wash: "It is her turn."
Firefly
"She stormed away from the callbox, accompanied delightedly by her hips, etc. The fiery darts encompasssing her about the amorously disposed were quenched as tow."
— Beckett, Murphy
Kaylee: "You like ships. You don't seem to be lookin' at the destinations. What you care about is the ships, and mine's the nicest."
Firefly
"He fixed with his eagle eyes a point in the empty sky where he fancied the kite to swim into view, and wound carefully in."
— Murphy
Mal: "You will keep a civil tongue in that mouth or I will sew it shut. Is there an understanding between us?"
Jayne: "You don't pay me to talk pretty. Just because Kaylee gets lubed up over some big-city dandy...."
Mal: "Walk away from this table, right now."
[Jayne exits, reluctantly]
Simon: "What do you pay him for?"
Mal: "What?"
Simon: "I was curious... what is his job on this ship?"
Mal: "... Public relations."
Firefly
"Murphy on the jobpath was a striking figure. Word went round among the members of the Blake League that the Master's conception of Bildad the Shuhite had come to life and was stalking about London in a green suit, seeking whom he might comfort."
— Murphy
Zoe: "If [the Reavers] take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing. And if we're very, very lucky? They'll do it in that order."
Firefly
"'I sit on them that will not eat,' said Ticklepenny, 'jacking their jaws apart with the gag, spurning their tongues aside with the spatula, till the last tundish of drench is absorbed. I go round the cells with my shovel and bucket, I——'"
— Murphy
Jayne: "You're coming through good and loud."
Mal: "'Cause I'm standing right here."
Firefly
"'Look at me,' he said.
She looked through him. Or back off him."
— Murphy
Mal: "Now, you've only got to scare him."
Jayne: "Pain is scary."
Firefly
"What Paul Masson said nearly a century ago is still true today: 'We will sell no wine before its time.'"
Paul Masson's wines taste so good because they're made with such care.
All right, I have to stop.
Well, it took Beethoven f..........
No.
I don't know how Orson made it through those.
I have a lot of good stuff from Beckett's Murphy, but it's in the car and I don't want to go fetch it.
Some things can't be rushed: good m.....no, I can't even type it without laughing.
"Paul Masson's Emerald Dry. A delicious white wine."
— anon
EETA here's the lagniappe, you cocksuckers. https://youtu.be/oSs6DcA6dFI?t=29
My apologies for the crude epithet. It truly was not intended to offend or reflect on any aspect of others' nature, just a thoughtless attempt at levity, but I agree that was unacceptable and it won't happen again.
"As it turned out, Watt was never to know how long he spent in Mr. Knott's house, how long on the ground floor, how long on the first floor, how long altogether. All he could say was that it was a long time."
— Beckett, Watt
Zoe: "Don't think it's a good spot, sir. She still has the advantage over us."
Mal: "Everyone usually does. That's what makes us special."
Firefly
"Siddhartha Gautama, the Buddha, drew a circle with a piece of red chalk and said: 'When men, even unknowingly, are to meet one day, whatever may befall each, whatever the diverging paths, on the said day, they will inevitably come together in the red circle.'"
— Melville, The Red Circle, epigraph, possibly composed by Melville himself, as translated by unknown from the Wikipedia page.
Zoe: "Sir? I'd like you to take the helm, please. I need this man to tear all my clothes off."
[She grabs Wash by the jacket and drags him off]
Wash: "Work, work, work...."
Firefly
"Mofo, they are putting us on the jazz with all this CV bullshit."
— anonymous warehouse worker to a coworker
Book: "I've been out of the abbey two days, I've beaten a lawman senseless, I've fallen in with criminals. I watched the captain shoot the man I swore to protect. And I'm not even sure if I think he was wrong. I believe... I just... I think I'm on the wrong ship."
Inara: "Maybe. Or maybe you're exactly where you ought to be."
Firefly
"What? If I don't clear my sinuses I'm going to snore all night. If your kid spills his milk, what do you do, slap him in the head?"
— "Del" in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
And also: "Betty, don't start that white zone sht again."
Simon: "I'm trying to put this as delicately as I can... how do I know you won't kill me in my sleep?"
Mal: "You don't know me, son, so let me explain this to you once: If I ever kill you, you'll be awake, you'll be facing me, and you'll be armed."
Simon: "Are you always this sentimental?"
Mal: "I had a good day."
Firefly
"Gonna be a short fuse.
Buck: And a long chance."
— The High Chaparral, "Gold Is Where You Leave It"
Simon: "You had the Alliance on you... criminals and savages... half the people on the ship have been shot or wounded, including yourself... and you're harboring known fugitives."
Mal: "We're still flying."
Simon: "That's not much."
Mal: "It's enough."
Firefly
“The president’s provocations — his coarsening of public discourse that lowers the threshold for acting out by people as mentally crippled as he — do not excuse the violent few. They must be punished. He must be removed.”
— George Will, Washington Post June 1, 2020
Lund: "You know, your coat is kinda a brownish color...."
Mal: "It was on sale." [Calmly sips his drink]
Lund: "You didn't toast. You know, I'm thinkin' you one of 'em In'e'pen'ents."
Mal: "And I'm thinkin' you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling. So why don't we just ignore each other until we go away?"
Firefly
"Over many of the dominant chords Sonny often times uses one of my favorite scales, the lydian dominant scale."
— "kingjazzmaestro"
Wash: "Every man there go back inside, or we will blow a new crater in this little moon."
Firefly
"Kid: You have a TV?
Grandpa: No. I just like to read the TV Guide. Read the TV Guide, you don't need a TV."
— The Lost Boys
Mal: "Shouldn't you be off bringing religiosity to the fuzzy-wuzzies or somesuch?"
Book: "Oh, I've got heathens aplenty right here."
Firefly
"They were a people of spasms, of upheavals, of ideas, the race of the individual genius. Their movements were more shocking by contrast with the quietude of every day, their great men greater by contrast with the the humanity of their mob."
—TE Lawrence, Seven Pillars of Wisdom
Inara: "What did I say to you about barging into my shuttle?"
Mal: "That it was manly and impulsive?"
Inara: "Yes, precisely. Only the exact phrase I used was, 'Don't.'"
Firefly
"When I returned it was June the sixteenth, and Nasir was still labouring [sic] in his tent. He and Auda had been seeing too much of one another for their good, and lately there had been a breach; [sic] but this was easily healed, and after a day the old chief was as much with us as ever, and as kind and as difficult."
—TE Lawr.
Mal: "Kaylee! What the hell is goin' on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?"
Firefly
"Buck: You know, Mano, that Blue Boy he make a lot of sense, don't he? Like finding sand in a rat hole."
— The High Chaparral "Feather of an Eagle" S2E19
Inara: "Mal, if you're being a gentleman, I may die of shock."
Firefly
"Can we drink? Oui oui oui! Can we look? Non non non! Well, that's how to taste if the wine is good."
— some old French or French-Canadian country tune, inexpertly translated.
Zoe: "Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing."
Firefly
"O-ee-O. O-O. O-ee-O. O-O."
— The Winkie Men, The Wizard of Oz
Mal: "Hell, this job I would pull for free."
Zoe: "Then can I have your share?"
Mal: "No!"
Zoe: "If you die, can I have your share?"
Mal: "Yes."
Firefly
"Mano: You know, my friend, a woman is like a nagging avalanche.
Buck: A nagging, avalanche? Well I never heard of a nagging...what's an aval...
Mano: And there is only one way to stop it
Buck: What's that?
Mano: A distraction!"
— The High Chaparral, "For the Love of Carlos"
Jayne: "You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with 'til you understand who's in ruttin' command here!"
Firefly
"Indian: We smoke pipe, we have counsel.
John Cannon: Forget the pipe, we have counsel.
Indian: We smoke pipe, we have counsel."
— The High Chaparral, "Apache Trust"
Mal (after Jayne shoots a bad guy in the leg): "Nice shot."
Jayne: "I was aimin' for his head!"
Firefly