The next person to post in this thread...

False. Shoulders? Check. Hips? Check. Feet? Check. But my neck is usually fine. :)

TNP considers him- or herself an optimist.

Nah. Just this past week, my kid asked me why I'm such a pessimist.

TNP tends to think pessimism and realism are much the same thing.

False. I think there's overlap (sometime huge overlap), but I think they're different things.

TNP bought some clothing recently.

True! I think my most recent purchase was a skirt.

TNP is wearing sneakers.

False; barefoot.

TNP has a near or dear one graduating from something soon.

Yeah, my kid's school only goes to grade 6, so he's graduating.

TNP regularly watches more than one show on Food Network.

False. I used to watch eight or ten FN shows regularly, but we cancelled our cable when we moved almost a year ago, and now I'll occasionally stream an episode of something, but that's about it.

TNP has watched an entire baseball game this season, start to finish.

Yep. The kid and I are into baseball.

TNP belongs to a softball league.

Nope. Never have been. Haven't played in a few years, either.

TNP likes crunching ice cubes.

True. I know it's bad for the teeth, but eh.

TNP likes dubstep.

Don't know what it is, so no.

TNP likes jujubes.

A girl I worked with in my early twenties caught me crunching ice in the break room and told me it was a sign I was sexually repressed. I don't know if it's a general truity, but she was certainly right at that time in that instance. Come to think of it, she was probably hitting on me. Goddammit, I just realized that now.

True...ish. Jujubes are for movie theaters. :D

TNP hates diet sodas.

True. They taste like crap.

TNP likes ice cream.

True, definitely.

TNP enjoys attending weddings.

False, unless the principals really mean a lot to me. Otherwise it's usually a lot of fancy clothes wearing, sitting around churches or reception halls, and hobnobbing with strangers, all of which are unhappy things for me.

TNP has had a pet that died.

Yeah, farm dogs often don't have long lives.

TNP likes country music.

With very few exceptions, false. I like only a smattering of old country music, and modern country is some of the worst music in the world IMO.


TNP likes hip-hop.

Some of it. I have maybe a half-dozen hip-hop songs on my iPod.

TNP likes kale.

My second job (first job was Arby's) was at a Chuck E. Cheese in Gaithersburg, MD. One of my duties was to make sure the 25-item salad bar stayed tidy and stocked. I would keep the big bowl of greens and the smaller bowls of veggies, toppings and dressings topped off throughout the day. All around the edges of the salad bar, there was a border of green kale, meant as decoration. The thick border of kale had the intent of making the whole bar look "fresh" and "garden-like." I would periodically rearrange the kale when someone accidentally knocked a piece off, so that there was always an unbroken kale border.

On the first night that I closed the restaurant, the manager told me to cover all the bowls of various salad components with plastic wrap and carry them back to the walk-in refrigerator. I did so, clearing away everything except the kale, which I didn't know what to do with. When I was done, the salad bar was nothing but a 10-foot table full of crushed ice, ringed with lots of kale. When the manager came around to look over my area, I indicated the cleared table and said "I didn't know what to do with the kale."

"Oh," he said, "I forgot. Go into the walk-in, and in the right back corner there are two buckets. Get the empty one, fill it with cold water and bring it out."

I went into the back of the walk-in refrigerator as commanded, and saw two five gallon buckets, the kind that might hold paint. One of the buckets was empty. The other was full of water and what appeared to be leaves of kale. I filled the empty bucket with cold water and brought it out. The manager started throwing the kale into the bucket, and I started helping. When we were done, he told me to take the bucket back to the walk-in.

"What's the other bucket for?" I asked.

"We'll bring that one out in the morning and use it tomorrow. Then this bucket," he pointed at my bucket, "will be ready for the day after tomorrow. Good as new. Cold water makes old kale into new kale."

"How old is this kale?" I asked. Manager man puzzled it over for a moment.

"Oh...two months? Maybe a little less?" he said.

At the moment, I wasn't sure whether he was jerking my chain (I was 16), but when the two buckets of kale put in another four weeks of faithful service after that night (and more for all I know; I quit at that point), I started to believe him. And it really did look almost as good as new after all those months, if a bit slimy to the touch. Also, I eventually realized that not all of our customers realized that the kale was meant as decoration only. There were at least a half dozen times I spotted people - always old, Asian or both - picking up zombie kale and putting it on their salad plates. I seriously got bile in my mouth every time I saw it.

Ever since then, I've been unable to even think of eating kale, not because of the memory of those foul zombie leaves at the Chuck E. Cheese, but simply because I don't trust my stomach to properly digest anything that damned hardy. I mean, really.

TNP likes squash (the food, not the sport).

True. Much more delicious than the sport.

TNP has smelt a very pleasant frangrance/aroma lately.

Not really, no. Actually a couple of not so great ones.

TNP often has fantasies about winning the lottery.

Once in a blue moon, but not often.

TNP likes lemons.

Oh yes! With a bit of salt... but native bush lemons are delicious straight off the tree.

TNP drinks herbal tea/s.

I do not.

TNP is coming down with a cold.

False, I think I am getting over a little bit of one.

TNP has a sunburn.

False. I managed to avoid that this weekend! I guess cold and overcast have their small compensations.

TNP has a visible bruise somewhere.

No. I always seem to have plenty of bruises, but few visible ones.

TNP has had a broken arm.

False, I've only ever broken toes.

TNP has one or more pierced body parts.

False.

TNP has one or more tattoos.

Not a one, and I never want to, either. Just not my thing.

TNP likes martinis.

False. Never saw the allure.

TNP talks to birds.

Very, very rarely. Usually only to greet them ("Ooo, what a nice red cardinal!"), or to scare them ("Hey, you damn Canada geese! Quit crapping on my lawn!"). They usually pay no attention in either case.

TNP likes navel oranges.

As with most fruit, I like them when they're fresh and ripe, which I don't find them to be nearly often enough.

TNP talks to plants.

I do not. I grew up on a farm, and talking to the corn would have been a bad sign.

TNP talks to Jehovah's Witnesses.

True! I talked to some just recently. They knocked on my door two Sundays ago. I politely listened to their hook-you-into-conversation questions, declined the offer of a copy of the Watchtower, and sent them on their way with a smile. I'm long past the age or emotional stage where I feel I get cool points for being antagonistic towards them.

TNP talks to Mormons.

Sure, I smile and say "no thank you", and try not to think impure thoughts if they are strapping tan young fellows.

TNP has spoken to a Hare Krishna.

I was one of those strapping tan lads, half a lifetime ago...

Oh, sure. I grew up in the 'burbs of Washington, DC. You can't visit the Smithsonian, or the National Mall (grass, not shopping), or any of the other downtown attractions without being approached by some swami or other. Nice folks. I could see myself joining them except for the apparent proscriptions against bathing or working. Anyway, you buy a "SMILE" sticker for a buck and stick it on your parents' car.

TNP talks to an invisible deity or deities, whether they believe anyone hears it or not.

Yes, I pray just about every night.

TNP likes onions.

True! Raw, cooked, browned, powdered...onions are great any way I can get them. I have never once, in my adult life, said, "Wow, I wish that dish had had less onion." Trufax.

TNP likes mint.

True, as long as we can exclude mint ice cream.

TNP, even in the throes of the overactive glands of puberty, has never had a problem with dandruff.

False. My scalp used to white up like Everest.

TNP has an extremely annoying co-worker.

True! Some are even my employees!

TNP played a sport in school.

Nah. Nerd city.

TNP is more interested in sports as an adult than as a child.

False. Through school, I actively followed all the major American pro sports and watched a lot of boxing. These days, I follow college football and mixed martial arts and that's about it.

TNP knows where his or her high school yearbooks are.

Um... in general terms, true. Somewhere in a box in my basement.

TNP likes potatoes.

True. I love them. There is no kind of potato dish that I will not happily eat. I am descended from many generations of the Potato-Eating Peoples of Eastern Europe.

TNP likes asparagus.

Love love love asparagus. Preferred method: tossed with a little olive oil, salt, and pepper, then roasted on a sheet pan until slightly soft.

TNP likes pickled foods in general.

Yup - salty and sour, what's not to like?

TNP has successfully dieted away 10 or more pounds at some point in their life, but has gained it back.

True. Hell, I chronicled in a thread on this very board my journey through losing 40 pounds...22 of which I've gained back since. :fail:

TNP had very long hair at one point, but not anymore.

Hmmmm.....I came of age in the Seventies, so my hair was for sure much longer than it is now, but never very long.

TNP has shaved their head.