The next person to post in this thread...

Not yesterday, nor today. I'm pretty sure the county sherriff in my spot is an elected position, as well as many judicial posts: no offense meant, but I consider it an OK day when I don't have to talk to "the man" in person. The presumption is that the speech would be related to my own misconduct. Which it most likely would be. Or the misconduct of others, in which case I'd have bigger problems to think about, but the intermediary stages of resolution would likely involve an elected official.

TNP considers him or her to be almost superhamnly precise, swift, and accurate at navigating complex traffic (human, automobile, in the natural world of solitude, or mixed) scenarios, and therefore when he or she very occasionally makes a collosal blunder is incredibly disappointed. At least for a moment.

Nah, my sense of direction is horrible, and "colossal blunder" is pretty much my default mode.

TNP would dearly love to get a handle on what exactly was going on in the Late Bronze Age Collapse.

Never even heard of it before (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Late_Bronze_Age_collapse), but if I found out exactly what happened, I'd be sure to post it here!

TNP believes climate change isn't given enough weight in contemporary historiography.

I wouldn't have any idea. "Contemporary" to the Late Bronze Age? I don'r know,,,probably? Yeah, I suppose changes in quantities over time are difficult to assess, given only one resultant and, say, one or a small handful of inputs. That's one reason people "push" calculus over n inputs, and the solution of systems of differential equations, because it's pretty handy.

Leibniz wins over Newton, any day of the week, in any important contest. TNP is correct and agrees.

And yes, I also would like to know more about the Late Bronze Age Collapse. I've never heard of it before, and now I feel like a moron. Anecdotes! Stories from the Late Bronze Age (what is that, like Homeric age? that I do know about)! Regale me with tales from the Late Bronze Age, ye elderly creatures!

I can't say that I've given it too much thought, but Leibniz always sounded like less of a dick than Newton, so, why not.

TNP is craving a Snickers bar right now.

(Oh, and late Bronze Age collapse: God knows what happened. It would seem to what brought an end to the "Homeric Age", and it's even possible than the Iliad is a poetic memory of one of its events. A tightly connected, prosperous, literate East Mediterranean world ended in a few decades, bringing on a Dark Age, and no one quite knows why.)

Yeah, I could go me a Snickers bar about now. I'd rather go me a Payday bar, but I wouldn't probably turn down a Snickers. Good wholesome food for good young North Americans. Sort of, I guess.

ETA That's interesting about the Bronze Age collapse, however late it might have been (or early, really, from our perspective). Sounds familiar, now that you describe it. Possibly one source of the divergence between the Homeric dialect of Gk language from the later Attic "pure" Gk, and also its continuity with koine and the "further east" dialects. Not sure, but it's interesting.

EETA And, yes, Leibniz was a colossal prick, in his time, including his ridiculous conspiracy theories about Spinoza and his rather cunning plots to sabotage or exploit weaknesses among those he considered enemies. He was, however, more or less a diplomat by trade, so, instead of just plain being a jerk and a dickweed, he had some motives for his cuntery. In the name of politics etc. Well, that's the playground version of my assessment.

TNP sometimes wishes he or she had a full-face helmet/visor contraption in order to better mask his or her visible emotions when, for example, missing a shot during a pool game or that type of thing.

Hmmm. Sure! Might come in handy for poker.

TNP wants to sit in for a jam session with Daft Punk: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daft_Punk

Yeah, I can hang with that Franco-Motherfuckers. I don't know if I call it music, but it's pretty close,and I can hang with that. I'll even finger-pop with the best of them when the heat is on, or that whole genre gets a good groove. Makes me want to patch the Rhodes piano through the mixer and go through the PA at home. Good enough.

TNP has become a major fan of using kinesiotape (or just whatever you want to call it, "athletic tape" is good enough) for even minor injuries about the feet and/or hands.

TNP's next instrument should probably be a trap drums. The final frontier. Ah, come on, every musician knows rhythm, and since that is the ubiquitous instrument next to acoustic piano, guitar, organ, and bass, it should be a snap. Come on: snare on the left, toms down below, crash top right, high-hat to the left.

It really doesn't be that difficult, but for a thought experiment, just count off snapping your fingers on the upbeats, and using the microphone to demonstrate both the songs and do some casual studio chatter.

Those guys have big fucking brains. Maybe not all of them, but IME it's harder than you think.

QED and just check Levon "Up On Cripple Creek" from The Last Waltz.

Sure, having played piano and alto sax, why not try trap drums next...?

TNP will be out of town this weekend.

I wish. Oh well, baseball and North Woods Law, probably.

TNP is oddly fond of North Woods Law.

Never heard of it. It does sound promising, at least as a snappy title, not knowing anything about it.

TNP thinks being short of cash is, on the one hand, sort of cute, like La bohème and shit, but mostly it is a giant PITA.

Nah, don't even see the cuteness. At least when it's happening. I suppose it makes for cute stories if you get out of it.

TNP thinks the bourgeoisie are just like pigs.

Not especially. I doubt the former are tasty like bacon-wrapped pork chops.

TNP has a preference for strychnine or baited traps when it comes to killing vermin. Assuming one doesn't have any children or pets to worry about, or at least those one likes.

Yes, we've had mice now and then, and once a rat. Whatever kills 'em and/or gets 'em outta the house is fine by me.

TNP has been to Springfield, Ill.

No, not unless I drove through it or took a train through it without realizing it. I'd bet the farm you have been, though. What's there, anyway? I mean, besides the seat of state government.

TNP makes it a priority to investigate university or large public libraries in towns of any mentionable size he or she passes through for more than a few hours. You know, books and stuff. Kick the tires, see what their holdings are like.

I do love libraries, and have been to known to go into out-of-town ones when I have time.

There's lots of interesting Lincoln-related stuff in Springfield, which I visited and learned about last weekend:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraha...ary_and_Museum
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lincol..._Historic_Site
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_St..._Historic_Site
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lincoln_Tomb

TNP has read a book about Lincoln in the past five years.

I don't think so. I'd have to check, but nothing's coming to mind right now. Plus, while I claim to read at a sixth-grade level, tendonitis in one of my flexor tendons in the hand makes it harder for me to finger the delightful folds of velvety paper. See, is difficult.

TNP doesn't mind waking up pretty darned early every once in a while, if it's for a good reason. Whatever, like 0400 or even 0230.

True. Like if it’s to start a vacation or something.

TNP can’t develop any particular fondness for eggplant.

True, in that I think it's a pretty useless vegetable. However, I probably could learn to like some of the traditional dishes prepared with it. I just prefer not to.

TNP could eat a falafel sandwich every day and have no need for a different type of sandwich.

Nah, I'd want other stuff.

TNP thinks tomatoes improve most sandwiches not involving peanut butter.

Well, there are tomatoes and then there are tomatoes. I could do without some watery bit of red floppy stuff most of the time. Onions, on the other hand, who could argue with that? No one sensible, surely.

TNP has made several wagers or bets over the past year: in the traditional sense of gambling, not in the way that "ze life, she is to ze gamble all ze times and we her pawns!" Investment portfolios don't count, either.

No, I don't think so. I've offered to bet a few times (as in "I'll bet you $20 that you won't....") but was turned down. Nothing dangerous, don't worry.

TNP has at least three pennies in his or her pocket right now.

Yeah. Well, I did just a few hours ago before I took my pants off. It was an unusually penny-rich environment today, not sure why.

TNP is one of "those people" who, when paying cash, will always dig around in his or her pockets for some jingling change to round out the folding money, or even to get more better change back than a bunch of pennies and, like, a nickel.

Yes, I'm afraid I am. But if anyone is waiting in line behind me I try to be quick about it.

TNP will be going out to a movie tonight.

Nah, not tonight. Tried to see one Saturday, but neglected to buy tickets in advance and it was sold out.

TNP could use a nap.

Normally, yes, this is the time of day when I desire a nap. Not today, though. Not sure why. Survey says: false.

TNP thinks companies in the U.S. should bring back the six-day workweek, because people are getting too soft and lazy with their Netflix and their Hulus and their fast food.

Nope. We already work harder and are more productive than people in a lot of other countries, lazy-American stereotypes notwithstanding.

TNP wants to see the Downton Abbey film, or already has.

Negative, Colonel. There are so few things I want to see among the current TV and movie offerings, it's almost depressing. I'd call it "meh, wait for the DVD"-itis but that's about as out of date as an expression as having the rocking pneumonia and the boogie-woogie flu.

TNP normally laughs (inwardly) at people who try to predict "bubbles" of economic activity, but really would go so far as to say that the streaming model of content delivery is untenable. There are, one hopes, just too many old fucks like me and probably some of you who just are going to say "fuck it, I want to see this movie or whatever whenever I want, so I'll like buy some shit off some Chinese bootlegger in China who does DVDs off like eBay or whatever." I mean, strictly impartially as an observer and knowing a bit of the guts behind AWS (Amazon Web Services), they are very good at that. Their Dynamo database is very nice, and I trust that Werner Vogels (I think is his name, with no umlaut) has assembled a good crew up in Seattle. But, services, platforms, infrastructures delivered on contract....yes, that will be the way for corporate use. Not for consumers.

Yes. Remember the four most dangerous words in economics: "This time it's different."

TNP knew that Jimmy Carter is now the longest-lived former President in U.S. history.

Didn't know it off the top of my head, but it doesn't surprise me.

TNP still hopes Carter outlives the last guinea worm.

Sure. What is a guinea worm? Vermicelli? Carter is much more remarkable.

TNP has ever seen a can of "Billy Beer," or even drank some of it.

Seen but not drunk.

TNP has enjoyed a can of Olde Frothingslosh: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Regis_..._Frothingslosh

No, that sounds like not something I would like to drink. And that's before I followed the link. I've made many gallons of wine using Turbo yeast (it's designed for making a pure-sugar wash for use in distilling: it's only reason for being is that it ferments very quickly and the yeast is tolerant, supposedly, to pretty high alcohol content, such that after three or maybe four days, you could have, with the right temperature and conditions a 17% ABV or so content), and that sounds very similar. Thoroughly unhygienic, dirty, filled with dead yeast and, indeed "the foam is on the bottom." So, I advise people to avoid Olde Frothingslosh, my sugar-wash "turbo" "wine," and the Gennessee green death.

TNP has recently (like in the past decade) left an insulting tip to a bartender (or manager acting as bartender) whom one knows by name and vice versa. Like, if you have four beers, you leave her a buck fifty. That kind of insulting, not like leaving a penny inside an inverted glass filled with water.

No, never have. My sister and her friends once left a penny each for a waiter, though, when (a) they were kept waiting a very long time for no good reason before being seated at their table, (b) the waiter kept them waiting even longer before coming to take their orders, (c) he acted very rudely when he did, (d) the food took a long time, too, and (e) he got most of their orders wrong. He met them at the door as they left and very sarcastically said, "Oh, thank you so much," and they replied, "Oh, you are so welcome."

TNP can easily imagine doing something like that.

Oh. I mean, c'mon. I did that with the bar manager filling in for her barteneder in the episode I just recounted. I know her name is "Jen," and she knows I know that, and she knows not only my name, but my full legal name, my bank account information, and where I work, and probably everything else about me, but after five minutes of waiting with not only some cash extended in my hand, and my paperback Bach rolled under my elbow, while standing up, while having put on my outside-going jacket, I said, finally, "Jodi! How much do I owe you?" "—I'm Jen" "I know that, I just have to be going."

THAT'S how you get a dollar-fifty tip. I'm sorry, Britt, if your shithead manager cheated you out of the additional three bucks I would have given you, but I guess you had to take a shit or whatever. NEVER let managers tend bar.

TNP would, if restrained in an airplane unduly, and in need of urination, probably urinate on the seatback in front of one rather than contain the load in one's pants.

Actually, I revise my answer. No, I wouldn't respond in kind, as in "You're so welcome." It's a valid response, but it's not something I would say. I am impressed that your sister got everyone in her party to agree to the same ruse, namely, one penny each. That's brilliant, and I would do that in a hot minute. But as for verbal response on exiting, while provoked, I would probably just have said in a very low voice, "That's a way a man can be measured," or something like that. Maybe even "How much do you cost?" (an old insult for talking to a French woman insinuating she is a prostitute). Something like that. I wouldn't play his language game. For better or worse.

TNP is still in play.

Peeing on the seatback rather than in my own pants? Yeah, I guess I might, if there was just no other way to get to the airplane's bathroom.

TNP wouldn't work as a flight attendant for less than half a million dollars a year.

False. I'd do it for six figures, you know. Plus bragging rights. That is a shit job, from what I can see, and dealing with shit people, all the fucking time. I wouldn't be surprised if some of them make about one hundred K per year, depending on where they are based at and all that.

TNP is still kind of in awe of how big-rig truck drivers manage to hold their shit together, backing into loading/unloading docks, having the pressure that if you have one "accident" while driving, you're out out the business, persona non grata. They make good money, but it's a pretty high amount of psychological stress, in addition to the physical, technical demands. Is my guess, anyway.

Yeah, that's a job I wouldn't want, for sure.

TNP is trying to figure out how much Halloween candy they need to buy.

No, not yet, but soon. We usually have about a hundred kids come by (and sometimes see minivans disgorging kids from outside of the neighborhood to make the rounds of our nice, quiet street).

TNP doesn't live on a nice, quiet street.

Well, that's a big "sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't," Colonel. ~Ax(Qx ^ Nx). It's a private road, with a public address, and it has the amount of usual road repairs one would expect, which never get done. Well, shit, even on the main drags, they aren't fixing potholes either, so I guess I can't complain. Except I still think the county owes me the cost of two new tires because of their bullshit.

There's a lot of incidental noise, from the coincidence of two or three major highways (depending on how you count it), and a bunch of fucking renters (as in, hundreds, maybe a thousand) who are making some small amount of noise with their pets and their people. The common clay from which America was born. You know. Morons.

The TNP has put quite a bit of effort into thinking about and doing I guess you'd say "hand drumming." You know, not "air drumming," but like which hand covers the downbeat, and keeping a steady track of the overall metronome beat, so as to not drift too much

Nope, not a bit. But I do "air drums" just about as much as I do "air guitar."

TNP could do with a nap right about now.

Yeah, that would be okay. Dull day.

TNP likes hand-pulled noodles. A lot.

I don't know what the difference is beween fresh noodles, extruded at home using brass dies or even a simpler hand-operated machine (or no machine at all, just cut by hand) and hand-pulled noodles. I'm sure they're pretty good, but I'm not sure I could tell the difference when they're cooked. Dried pasta serves me pretty well, just so long as I don't eat too many of them in one sitting.

TNP is going to use the remaining months of this calendar year, up through Advent, to take care of some things he or she has been putting off. You know, lose some weight, renew some professional certifications/memberships, get finances locked down, do some deep cleaning of his or her dwelling, that kind of thing.

No, I'm busy enough with day-to-day stuff I have no plans for back-burner stuff.

TNP has big plans for the year-end holidays.

Sure. I hope to be rid of this annoying week-long plus cold. I have my doubts: the phlegm and mucus just keep materializing, unwanted and unbidden. I have a pretty big hat size, and consequently a giant head full of enormous cavities, but it's an astonishing production. When symptoms are erased completely, probably get a flu shot. I think I'd like to get my teeth cared for, as well, once I can figure out if my very respectable dental insurance is actually going to pay for shit and not leave me and my dentist and hygeniest out to dry. Seriously, it's not one of those ACA medicaid companies, where you just go to whomever they assign you, they're supposed to pay for this shit. Fuckers.

TNP thinks an 80% alcohol diet is probably not the best way to fight a cold/flu.

Definitely. Vitamin C over booze anyday when you're sick.

TNP prefers pineapple to orange juice.

I'd say yes, but the pineapple juices I've had have been rather sweet indeed — best consumed in very small quantities. OJ is OK, but even the fancy stuff just doesn't seem quite as rarified and delicious.

TNP would just as soon not eat any dish made of squash, given the choice. Nor play the ball+racket game of the same name, for that matter.

Pretty close, although it's not like I mind the vegetable.

TNP has to go clothes shopping in the near future.

I could do with some more plain white tees, but it's not a crisis.

(I really don't like squash, FTR).

TNP has heard a cricket chirp in the past month.

I'm hearing them right now. Unless I've gone completely mental or have some kind of odd cricket-themed tinnitus.

If the TNP can name all the US Presidents in order, he or she can name the Vice Presidents in a similar fashion. If not, explain this slothful deficiency!

I can indeed name the Presidents in order, including years in office, from memory, but not the Veeps, alas. Just never allocated sufficient grey cells to the task. Don't you judge me!

TNP is judging me.

Yes. I judge you as a slacker! OK, fine, I can't do the VPs either, except the obvious ones. No years or nujmbers, either. But I'm just a hypocrite slacker, definite a second degree offense.

TNP has ever cut his (or her!) beard in an odd shape as a joke and decided to leave it like that for a while. You know, like the Chester Alan Arthur/Lemmy/Martin van Buren style all the kids from the Gilded Age were wearing.

LOL. Nope, never have. As to Martin van Buren: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnAJ-8t8Hm8

TNP had never seen that ad before.

No, not before now. I didn't catch what it was supposed to be advertising: probably some phone or something. Mad propers to the Red Fox, though! Ezra Pound loved that motherfucker, and that's good enough for me. He was sometimes right about political history. Well, a few times he was ... oddly enthusiastic ... about good people, but he didn't exactly explain his reasoning in the Cantos. Well, sort of he did, but, not in a way that is conventional among historians.

TNP can add another name to the list of exceptional, very famous artists who had extremely peculiar habits or views. My examples are Glenn Gould and Ezra Pound. There are others, I am sure.

Sure. Frank Lloyd Wright was a visionary architect but a terrible practical engineer, and had such a big ego that he brusquely rejected suggestions from those who knew the subject better. Our recent tour guide at Fallingwater told us that the building was structurally unsafe the very day it opened. If the on-site construction supervisor hadn't secretly put in extra steel for the cantilevered porches, they long ago would've fallen into the creek.

TNP has been to Fallingwater: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fallingwater

No. I only "travel" to about four or five designated locations these days. Ever.

TNP chooses between two T-shirts he or she would be forced to wear in public, namely, "Free Moustache Rides," or "Michael Vick, MVP," and will say the result of the choice.

"Free moustache rides" since I don't have a moustache, and will just look like I'm so poor I have to wear random T-shirts, and not like I support a dog-fighting tool.

TNP thinks that there's probably a market for a dish called "steak-fried chicken".

Yeah, I guess probably. I don't know what that would be, but it sort of sounds like something some people might order, maybe if they were drunk or otherwise impaired. Or just hungry.

After all, it is absolutely true that chicken breast is best served medium rare. Chicken breast with an au poivre sauce is probably good. The irregular shape of the average chicken breast presents a problem, but fortunately all kitchens worth the name have rubber mallets or at least a regular hammer borrowed from the maintenance guy.

TNP sort of regrets that Napoleon didn't have more and better ships and stuff, with which he might have tamed the American and Canadian wildernesses while subduing the dominant British influences therewithin.

TNP thinks pork rinds are kind of gross unless they have a lot of added seasoning. Edible, but gross like rice cakes or something. Not much there.

Meh. I don't particularly mind either pork rinds or rice cakes, but if I never eat another that'd be OK.

TNP could go for a coffee right about now.

Yeah, pretty much always.

TNP sees the world in a pretty positive light, all things considered.

Not especially. I think my perception of the world and its human inhabitants is pretty accurate, though, which doesn't at all prevent the perception of nice or positive things.

TNP knows at least one person IRL who seems to think getting the flu vaccine causes one to become sick.

I do hear that from time to time, yes.

TNP thinks a global pandemic is a definite possibility.

Yeah, I suppose so. I'm not sure what counts as the distinction between a pandemic and an epidemic, but it seems that HIV has done a good job circling the globe, and certainly this year's Brisbane influenza is probably getting around through the various shipping vectors.

I'm not going to look up the precise definitions, but just from the prefixes, you know, at what point does an epi-anything become a universal, signified by the pan? Multiple points of origin, indiscriminate and global? I guess. Climate change would seem to be a pandemic, and other cultural universals. Not sure. Epidemic? Well, I don't know, the ebola virus, the numerous influenzas from Queensland, Oz. Nut allergies. I don't know.

TNP would describe himself or herself as pretty lazy, at heart: no matter how much he or she accomplishes, still, slothful in nature.

If I let myself, yes. But I'm capable of very hard work, and usually try with some success to keep my nose to the grindstone.

TNP will be going to a concert in the next three days.

No. I have been noticing since I started "reading" one of the local alternative rags again that Mel Brown, the drummer, has a weekly featuring the Hammond organ (not sure, but it's probably Louis Pain) at some club I never heard of that just sprouted up. Could be fun, but I'm not going to drive downtown and do all that. I already caught that act back, probably quite literally, back when I had more energy, time, and money.

TNP has a preference for an outdoor concert or an indoor date in some small joint with low ceilings and high prices. And will say which.

I'll take the outdoor concert. Concerts in small joints with low ceilings tend to be too loud for me.

TNP believes that if it's too loud, you're too old.

Probably some truth to that. Loud music and party-type atmospheres seem to be a young person's thing. Although I confess I played Motörhead records for quite a while last night, and that's pretty loud music even if the volume is turned down. It's existentially loud, I guess.

TNP finds himself writing things which even he or she can't quite decipher, semantically, in the light of day.

No, never been a problem for me. I have come across letters which I wrote, say, three or four years ago, which I have no memory of writing, though.

TNP prefers to word-process than to handwrite.

I have to abstain from that question. Completely different uses. Generally, pencil and paper is the way to go, for quick notes or annotations, but I'm also addicted to this very powerful text editor called Vim, a sort of successor to something called Vi, which was created quite a long time ago. I've been using the latter for years, and while it has an admittedly steep learning curve, even after daily use, there are still many features I barely use.

As in, features you'd never know existed, except by reading one of the several lengthy books devoted to its skillful use. I only very rarely go back to a true word-processor, much as I am incompetent at doing markup in LaTeX. I'd rather just scrawl something in an equivalent of MS paint if a diagram is needed and paste it together with tape on a hard copy printed from a text editor.

It's like a typewriter, to me — although a very powerful one with superb editing and navigational tools — and I've always owned and used typewriters.

However, ditto with pencils, especially since discovering the world of technical "clutch" pencils in 2mm lead. I don't draw, but it is a revelation to choose one's weapon for marking up a musical score or a printed text. 2B lead? B? 3B? HB? 2H for fine work? Many decisions to be made, and it is a pleasure using sturdy instruments that aren't just disposable, but rather sturdy and crafted for a specific use. Plus, I don't misplace them like I often do with less important instruments, although the ones I use are not expensive.

TNP has a good example of some kinds of language usage he or she has just given up on. For example, the use of "rather" vs. "quite" (I believe that's chiefly British or Commonwealth usage), or the simple future of "shall" in the first persons vs. "will" for the other persons, and vice versa for a modal future.

Not really, although I really annoyed my older sister by dismissively saying "Be that as it may" to just a few too many things she said for awhile in my teens.

TNP has said or written "Be that as it may" in the past month.

I don't believe I've ever said or written that phrase in my entire life. Not sure why, just doesn't seem like something I'd say. Could be wrong, though.

TNP thinks it would be a good idea to write or use some little program that enables one to stay logged into various sites on one's PC — banking sites, employment records, insurance sites, those kinds of things that time out after a pretty short time of inactivity.

Yes! Our court computers log you out after just ten minutes of inactivity. Very frustrating, and I'm told it can't be changed.

TNP has had a glass of cider in the past week.

No, I can count on one hand the number of times I've had cider, ever (you know, "hard" cider).

Glad to hear I'm not the only one frustrated by time-outs on various sites. Yeah, security, whatever, but it is annoying and pointless on my home network which is plenty locked-down from outsiders. Wouldn't help those who use web apps or sites on the job, but maybe I'll try to write some little Python script to do some jiggery pokery for my own use. Probably won't get around to it, but it would be a fun exercise.

TNP has had sparkling non-alcoholic cider or other such "wines" in the past year or so.

Hmm... doubt it, but couldn't say for sure.

TNP has a definite preference as to the proper martini garnish, and will state it.

Oh, sure. Those green olives with pimentos in them, or however it's spelled. Not into the whole Gibson thing with the little onion. They make a good guitar, but they don't do onions right. Those olives are the reason for a martini's existence, IMHO. And vice versa.

TNP pretty strongly feels that a clear mixed drink (vodka tonic, gimlet, stuff like that, except for martinis) really needs lime, not lemon. You know, the traditional rules: lime for clear, lemon for colored (Cuba libre excepted, which takes lime).

I rarely drink cocktails, and have no strong opinion on them. I'm mostly a beer, wine and Scotch guy.

TNP mailed a handwritten personal letter in the past week.

Scrawled a manifesto in dull 4B pencil lead and sent it via post to an enemy? No. I have had some lively conversations with RL friends in the past week, but just typed into the keyboard and sent through the pneumato-electronic tubes, as one does.

TNP has tried a new brewery's beer (new to them, anyway) this past week and liked it quite a bit.

Nah, haven't been drinking that much beer the past few years.

TNP thinks Coke Zero is way better than it has any right to be.

Never tried it. Not into colas.

TNP prefers ginger ale to root beer.

Oh, I don't know. I really don't care for root beer, but the average root beer compared to the average canned ginger ale? Yeah, I'd take one for the team and have some root beer. Some of those sarsparillas are OK.

TNP has ever tried his or her hand at growing root vegetables or rhizomes or tubers or whatever. Like ginger or horseradish or even the humble potato.

A bit, especially counting when I was a kid on the farm and we'd grow potatoes sometimes. I've tried carrots on my own, and zero luck.

TNP sometimes thinks of trying to raise their own avocado tree from a leftover pit, then goes "Why the hell would I do that?"

Not me personally but I was with a girl who was always suspending avocado pits with toothpicks over some water. No idea what she was trying to do.

TNP has very few quirky habits, but if he or she does, confession is required and will be forthcoming directly.

I have a bit of OCD and tend to get every flu bug that goes around, so I will always touch a doorknob or handle with a corner of my coat or, in the winter, my gloves rather than my bare hand.

TNP has seen snow in the past week.

No. It's been plenty cold enough, but windy enough that there aren't many clouds to speak of. That's about the extent of my metereological knowledge.

TNP hass at one time tried to understand thermodynamics at the atomospheric level, you know, from books and observation and stuff, but really doesn't know anything to speak of about the topic.

Haven't even really tried, but am pretty sure the math is beyond me.

TNP is kind of an autodidact, but ends up feeling pretty ignorant about more stuff.

Not exactly. Heavily influenced by the approaches of a handful various instructors, even those whose banner I would not march behind, which carried over to the real work of learning little techniques (and some larger techniques) on one's own, influenced by persuasive mainstream authors.

TNP has a kind of horror of really eccentric views. Fringe-type stuff, not just minoritarian views that are well-documented and recognized by various fields.

Not at all. Life is more interesting with eccentric views in circulation, as long as they don't become government policy.

TNP knows at least three employees of the United States Government.

Probably. Just talking federal government, yes. I don't know, bunch of military officers who are still under papers, some active, some just still "not retired, but still obligated," whatever that is, somebody who works for the VA, oh, hell, if you want to stretch it, probably some nut would say, "President T-Bag, him working for me now, yes he does." If you stretch it to the level of state employees, then the net grows wider. A senior judge of my state (trust me, it's a real term). But, yeah sure, I guess so. It's like trying to remember how many times you dropped acid or how many sexual partners you've had — probably could figure it out, but it would take a little bit of thinking.

REDACTEDTNP knows somebody who claims she can't talk about the most minor details of her work, including department and role, even to her own mother. (In the case I'm thinking about, I know her mother pretty well, I guess, and she's a blabbermouth chatty-edgar-bergen-type, so I guess I understand).

TNP has recently been part of a small RL conversation interrupted by a server chiding someone to "remember what we said, [xxxx], no religion or politics!"

I heard that said jokingly, yes, not too long ago, but not by a server.

TNP has worn a winter coat in the past three days.

No. It would take a lot to put on a full parka or ski jacket with the liner.

TNP, if he or she had no dependents and was otherwise in reasonably OK shape, would probably not do anything except have an aspirin if he or she experienced specific pain around his or her heart muscle. You know, cause it's a hassle doing all that other stuff.

If it was mild, correct. If it felt at all serious, no, I'd want to have a doc look me over.

TNP knows at least three MDs socially.

No, don't think so. There's one who would probably say "Yo, wassup!" if I saw him again. Or vice versa. Although the above previous poster should should be ashamed for not including DDSes among the MDs. They will cut you, man!

TNPs toenails have gotten so fucked up at one point in time he or she has either soaked his or her feet in hot water before performing minor corrections, or has considered using the services of a ... pedicurist? I think that's the word.

I've had the occasional ingrown toenail and athlete's foot now and then, but nothing that bad, no.

TNP knows someone who's entirely missing a toenail.

Not at the moment. I've known at least a couple of people who have lost toenails, but they grew back. As far as I know.

TNP knows at least one person who is missing all or part of a finger (or toe).

Yes, a former colleague lost part of a finger and her hand was somewhat deformed as a result of a farm accident when she was little.

TNP has been in a car crash.

Nothing as bad as a crash, couple fender bender type things.

TNP knew somebody well who died in a car accident.

Yes, I suppose so. Not a close friend, but I knew who she was and we were in the same peer group in HS. In her car going down the same street I go down ten or twelve or more times a week. Just went off the road.

TNP has known somebody pretty close who was murdered.

Jeez, you guys are dark!

Not terribly close, but a friend of my parents was killed by a mentally-disturbed man in the early 1980s. I didn't know the victim well.

TNP has been given flowers in the past month.

No. I don't know if I've ever been given flowers. Maybe pictures of some, I guess.

TNP kind of wants to tell the next person who shoves some Xmas shit in his or her face in the month before Christmas Day to (a) fuck off and (b) get some church, bitch, because it's Advent, you fucking Satanist.

Tempting. Very tempting. (Actually, in the Episcopal Church, Advent doesn't even start until Dec. 1). Just saw a Christmas tree in an office window this evening, and I've already seen Christmas lights on someone's house. Too soon, dammit, too soon!

TNP has recently had to make a small household repair.

Yeah. In fact I can't remember what I most recently did, but it was definitely something that involved either a screwdriver and/or a wrench. It's a never-ending stream of little things — my place is not that big, but it's kind of fucked up with electrical problems and some minor plumbing things, and other things I sometimes take a half-hearted stab at chipping away at.

TNP would think putting the following statement on an employee "comment" whiteboard, signed with one's name, is meaningful. You'll have to substitute the "A" for an upside-down A, and the arrow for the "hook" symbol, and the caret is supposed to be the regular caret, and so forth: "Ax(Sx >= 2.5h --> 10m <=B <= 15m)." True story, as of today. If not, do a better one in standard notation (the above is just First Order Predicate Logic with equality, and the material entailment, i.e., "-->" or "hook" binds more loosely than the others, so no parentheses are needed).

I thought about making it more precise, possible with a good old ∃! (existential quantifier shriek) and doing the ugly equality operations and natural numbers more proper, or at least definition as you know ∈ Z+ mod 60 or something).

No, I leave that kind of thing to you, my dear Jizz.

TNP has a whiteboard within 20 steps of where he or she is right now.

Sure. It's my weekend, so at home. Yeah. In the interests of truthfulness and recklessness, here is
what's on a few. 5 ft = Distance(1, 2) < 30 feet Not doing a project now, obviously, so you guys don't get the full display of innumerable posterboards and stuff, just stupid junk I've got hanging around, literally.

TNP finds himself or herself, as he or she gets older, doing stuff just because, "Fuck you, that's why! What are you going to do about it, motherfucker?" Not serious shit, but like walking barefeet in places it may be prohibited or saying "That's good, rain man, nice and slow so you're more in my way" to people in the grocery store.

Not really, no, although I find myself not caring quite so much about what others think of me.

TNP has seen a Shakespeare play live in the past month.

Nah, it's been a while.

TNP has seen a live musical in the past month.

No, although on Saturday I saw a play (Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice) that included some songs.

TNP has read an Asimov novel in the past year.

Good lord, no. I think I dipped into some of the Foundation series as a small boy, but I really don't remember anything about it. Nowadays, I'm stuck in the way past for fiction and poetry, and I'm fine with that. Maybe pre-1960, or pre-1970 if I want to pretend to be current and "with it."

TNP uses the expression "Exactly!" pretty often in daily speech. If not, TNP is to supply his or her go-to expression that expresses a similar notion.

Now and then, yes. But I'm more likely to say "Yeah!" or "That's it!" or "Right!"

TNP is following the American impeachment controversy closely.

No. I can study it when it's done, but I'm not interested in producing propaganda, or in winning the hearts and minds of enemy combatants. The plane has already crashed into the goddamned mountain.

TNP has figured out how to use one's phone to control a digital jukebox, and declares it to be good. Except for that it's kind of hella expensive per song. If not, TNP must cover his brow with his hand and announce repeatedly, "Unclean! Unclean!"

No to both questions, although I dig the Old Testament reference.

Lo, peach ice cream is an abomination in TNP's sight.

No. I think it's fine, although I'm pretty sure I've never tried it. It bespeaks a feast appealing to man's prurient fancy.

TNP has become better acquainted with a handful of acquaintances in the past week. Mostly in the positive sense, but could be some irritating quirks as well. Just better-acquainted.

No, can't say as I have.

TNP, like me, is going to a classical-music concert tonight.

dp

No. That does sound invigorating, though, depending on what music.

TNP has on at least one occasion said something extremely terse and rude, but not obscene, directly to a person or persons recently.

Four Bach violin cantatas, as it happens. A pretty good concert.

Not "extremely," but yes, I got a bit terse with someone who kept contradicting me and was clearly not listening to what I was saying on Friday morning.

TNP is going to a fundraiser of some kind this weekend.

Sure! I just got done raising funds just now for a very exclusive cause, namely, my bank accounts. It's sort of like a "gofundme" project I've been in the habit of doing, just for fun.

TNP is very tentatively starting to use his or her phone for some tasks normally achieved on a computer with a real interface, and thinks it's OK. For example, downloading large ISO files of free software (legal! various linux distributions and such), plugging the phone into a battery source, leaving it in the car while at work to do its thing. That kind of thing.

Not really, although I'm using it more and more for audiobooks (just finished: Joe Haldeman's 1974 military sf novel The Forever War) while I'm in the car.

TNP thinks that's a good use of automotive downtime.

Sure. Probably better than plotting and executing elaborate vengeances against defective drivers.

TNP, upon unexpectedly seeing a grocery store or similar packed with long lines, has at least once exclaimed to himself or herself "Oh shit, fuck this!" (or similar) and just left.

Oh, sure. I've never had much patience that way.

TNP has chronic insomnia.

Not chronic, but occasional, especially if I go to bed upset or wound up.

TNP knows three women named Alice.

Ummmmm.....an Alice, an Alicia, and...no, I think that's it, just two (or maybe one and a half, depending on how liberal one is with languages).

TNP knows (or has known, in the case of dead people) three men named Lee.

Hmm...actually, I'm not sure I've ever known anybody named Lee, but I have forgotten a lot of folks.

TNP have lived in more than three distinct metropolitan areas in their life.

Yes, although some not for long: Cleveland, Ohio; Pittsburgh, Pa. and Washington, D.C.

TNP has spent more than a cumulative week in each of those cities.

No. I've never spent any amount of time in those cities. Each does have a certain reputation, though. Cleveland: that place on Lake Erie that has a good waterfront whose development probably isn't all mobbed up, like that other US city on the lake. Also, good orchestra to balance out all that rock and roll. Washington: that place with the people and stuff. Pittsburgh: that place you can drive around with all the stuff in it when you take the long way around.

TNP has worked with a woman in recent years who has a definite prejudice towards strong, capable men, and hardly seems to recognize the contributions of women on her team.

Yes. I never noticed it myself, but I had it pointed out for me by female coworkers, and I think they were probably right.

TNP has listened to Vivaldi in the past week. And if not: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhYcm52qDYI

No, I have not. But I probably should: that sounds refreshing, since I'm not very familiar with Vivaldi's work besides the greatest hits. Palestrina could do about the same good for me. Some nice motets could be nice as well. I could see going back to the quattrocento or cinquecento for some real old stuff.

TNP has not had a real urge to open somebody's nose with a nice right overhand in quite a while: pretty jovial mood, in other words, in general.

Wish that was true, but just yesterday was feeling a strong urge to give a dude the beating that he so richly deserved.

TNP thinks that anybody over the age of four who says "It isn't fair" probably has some problems.

Well, a bit older than that, but yeah, that's about right.

TNP will be celebrating Thanksgiving on Thursday.

Yes, I suppose I should head over to a family gathering, since I said I would. I plan to pick up a morning shift for a total of 2.5x regular wages that day, though, assuming I can hit "accept" before the slot gets filled, so that will be good.

TNP has learned something new (to him or her) that is probably true about motor vehicles recently. And TNP should say what that is, if true.

Hmm, no, I don't think so.

TNP has talked to a lawyer today, socially or otherwise.

Workwise, it's pretty much inevitable. Would have done it before I went to work, but my wife was asleep when I left.

TNP hates most TV lawyer shows.

Oh, definitely. When Boston Legal's early ads showed a picture of its sullen-looking cast with the tagline, "They hate lawyers, too," I practically threw something at the TV.

TNP has kissed a lawyer in the past five years.

Do it often, my wife being in the profession.

TNP thinks turkey is tastier than chicken.

Well, turkey IMHO has, in general, a stronger flavor than chicken. I suppose that could be "tastier," in that there is more there.

TNP has found a way to endure company "holiday" "forced" "don't leave early" "look like you'd rather be here than jacking off in a dumpster"-type exercises. Offering nicotine gum to people is a good icebreaker, but honestly, that's just politeness 101.

Yes, I try to at least feign interest in them and ask them questions about themselves - most people don't mind talking about themselves. Asking about books they've read recently, or movies they've seen, can also be good conversational gambits.

TNP ate turkey on Thursday.

Yes, even though I'm Canadian: my wife had bought a turkey early in the week, and we've been kind of living off it.

TNP could go the rest of their life without ever hearing about "Black Friday" again.

Indeed. I'd go so far as to say rather unkind things about that abomination. But I'm dressed head to toe in black for work, right down to my underthings; after a fashion, I'm celebrating it.

TNP would rather find his or her own bargains instead of sucking up the leavings some stooge put on the floor next to the dog bowl.

Oh, absolutely. But I pretty much do my shopping all year long - if I see something I think my sister would like for Christmas in, say, June, I just buy it then and put it away.

TNP is already thinking about sending out holiday cards.

Yes. It's that time of year when I take the Olympia typewriter out of its case and type a heartfelt, but general missive about the year's events. Oh wait. No. I don't have a family of my own, and it's been a dog's age since I've even heard of or seen such a "Glad tidings! From the XXXX clan! Here's what Junior did and blah blah." ETA That was perhaps a bit too close to home for some, so, I'll just say "No, not something I do. But it's probable I'll receive a few cards in the mail from family, and that's nice. For them."

TNP uses about five or fewer postage stamps per annum. Or year, to use the parlance of our times.

Good Lord, no. I probably use, I dunno, ten or more a week, on average.

TNP has been to the National Postal Museum in Washington: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Postal_Museum

No, but in the unlikely case where I find myself in that city, the museum sounds about to my taste.

TNP has known a fair bit of postal workers.

Not too well, no, although the postmaster in my small town growing up was very friendly and encouraged me in my stamp-collecting hobby at the time.

TNP has collected stamps.

Maybe clipped a few when I was a kid, nothing serious.

TNP is starting to notice the chill going right through their poor old bones.

Yes, last night it was really cold and it felt good to get indoors and have some hot tea.

TNP had to scrape ice or snow off the car this morning.

Not that bad, but it is slicker than goose crap up in the hills around town. Gelid. People should be wearing their helmets, I guess.

TNP uses about ten minutes or less per year cleaning the inside of his or her primary means of transportation. For a private car, that might be throwing out empty coffee cups and cleaning the inside of the windows. For a walker, that might be replacing the insoles of the shoes. For a city person that might be using one of those pointy sticks to accost waste or ensure vigilance, or perhaps not jumping the turnstiles.

tldr

TNP prefers calling random assholes "jokers" rather than "clowns," since he or she believes it to be less confrontational.

I guess so, but I'm not really a name-calling type.

TNP has at least two grandparents still alive.

Not at all. I suppose in theory some of them could have survived to present day, but they would be absolutely ancient today.

TNP, while not especially secretive, is pretty bored by RL conversations when people ask questions like "So, where you from, originally?" or the like. After all, TNP had to live through the past and is intimately familiar with all the details, and is so lazy that to make an interesting narrative response is tedious.

Yeah, probably true. It seems to be acknowledged by everybody that I suck at party small talk.

TNP has an extremely low tolerance for assholes.

Not generally, but there's different kinds of assholes. There's the awesome ones who just aren't taking any shit from some random puke fucking up everyone's shit with their dumbassery, and there's the truly insane, idiotic pricks who lack the basic ability to unobtrusively go about their business without fucking up people's shit. About the latter, yeah, fuck 'em and their cornholing driving and oblivious walking and general bullshit.

TNP has very low tolerance for people who appear to have little awareness of their surroundings, and who pilot themselves accordingly.

Yes, it's true, especially when they get in my way. On the other hand, sometimes they're good for a laugh: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGpVpsaItpU

TNP had seen that video before.

No, and respectfully, I decline to watch the video. I'm sure it's an amusing pastiche of what I see most days, but I just don't wish to be amused at the moment.

TNP cuts people who have some legitimate intellectual or mental difficulties a good bit of slack, and is generally kind and accomodating IRL, BUT TNP suspects there are some people who present outwardly as "mental" or "eccentric" who really don't merit the same consideration.

I sometimes suspect that some people don't want to get better, because their illness lets them get away with so much, yeah.

TNP sometimes wonders why their dreams are so complicated, when their life is kinda plain.

That's a "true." Yes, sometimes. I don't stay awake long nights wondering why, but sometimes I do wonder what voodoo the brain is cooking up. "What's it building in there? Hmmm...."

TNP thinks most people would think his or her own life is a bit boring. Not that it is, necessarily, but the average person might think so, he or she supposes.

Yes, probably. We can't all live in an action movie.

TNP has seen a good action movie in the past month.

Probably. I don't really remember.

TNP doesn't really understand WHY NE Patriots fans exist many miles from their native lands.

It is a sports mystery. But the same could be said for Steelers and Ohio State fans, among others.

TNP has at least three articles of clothing in pro sports team colors.

Yeah, own a bunch of Blue Jays stuff.

TNP isn't quite sure why it's now mandatory to wear team clothes to games, when people used to dress for sporting events like they would for going to a decent quality restaurant.

What? Yes, I'm sure there are a number of reasons, which I shall not enumerate here. Is it good or bad? Meh, I don't really have a strong opinion. There are about a hundred other things I despise that get my attention.

TNP would never wear a leather duster as a garment. Except maybe in extraordinary circumstances, like roaming around the Australian outback on horses and such.

Yeah, pretty much only then.

TNP thinks it's cool that Australian troops still wear those hats pinned up on one side: https://www.sbs.com.au/yourlanguage/...ary_engg_1.jpg

Sure: those are pretty cool. Not quite sure of the history, or why that style exists, but it's definitely a distinctive "look." I did not know it was an official part of any uniform, rather I thought it was a Crocodile Dundee-type thing.

TNP can name a color which is completely unrepresented among his or clothes. For me it's yellow: not one single T-shirt, regular shirt, even socks or undies.

Hmm...unless we're getting into shades with strange Martian-sounding names, no. I'm a pretty eclectic dresser.

TNP tries to have lots of socks of the same colour, to cover up for the ones that go missing.

Yes, I wear a lot of dark blue and grey socks to work. Other than white athletic socks, that's probably 90% of my sock collection.

TNP actually doesn't mind receiving socks as gifts.

I love getting socks as gifts: once in a while as a token "gift bag" at Christmas, my mother will include a package of socks. I'm kind of snooty about inferior-quality socks, but it's the thought that counts, and I'm always glad to have some backup socks, even if I don't wear them often. Besides, I don't regularly remember to buy socks when I'm buying housewares and such, or I just don't care for the selection at a given store.

TNP keeps the interior of his or her car nice and neat, unlike some people I could mention.

Mostly, although I don't dust the dashboard and center console as often as I should.

TNP dusted his or her car in the past month.

Ha. No. I haven't dusted anything, ever, in my life. I did spray the inside of the windshield with some cleanser and wipe it off with a filthy towel a few weeks ago. There's a fine layer of dust over everything I've ever owned, past or present. I've also never vacuumed carpets in the few places I've lived as an adult that was carpeted, except maybe in a cursory fashion. Is there any relation between my housekeeping and my constant use of decongestants and stuffy nose? Perhaps. I think it's ancient aliens, but opinions vary.

TNP has ever dressed on purpose in a completely monochromatic fashion, roughly. For example, all blue, all black, and so forth.

A couple of times for costume parties, I think. But it's been quite awhile.

TNP has eaten peanuts today.

I have had no nuts in my mouth today. I'm fond of Smokehouse almonds, though, and often will make a ,meal of them.

TNP is not fond of unroasted, unsalted nuts.

Definitely agree. I don't even like low-salt nuts; gimme the hard stuff, baby! I rarely add salt on my own to any food, so I think I'll be OK (and I, too, am very fond of Smokehouse almonds).

TNP is a little worried about his or her salt intake.

No. I like electrolytes, so French fries are about the healthiest food there is IMHO. Salt+potassium = awesome. No indications of being salt sensitive, so it's fine for me. Plus despite drinking and smoking to excess for years, as well as being a little husky, blood pressure centers around 110/70 at age 43. Not worried.

TNP has no known food allergies.

Correct. Some food hates, but no food allergies.

TNP knows a person with lots and lots of allergies.

More or less. One isn't sure if the allergies are symptoms of eosinophilic esophagitis or plain old brain tumors, but I suppose the effect is the same. I suppose I could include my younger self as well: had the back skin-test and the shots, but on consideration, that was probably a bunch of bullshit. At any rate, living in city filth in early maturity to middle age, almost exclusively, cured me of all that.

TNP is kind of enjoying the pattern of this coming season: some time off work, combined with a very intense effort during times at.

More or less. One isn't sure if the allergies are symptoms of eosinophilic esophagitis or plain old brain tumors, but I suppose the effect is the same. I suppose I could include my younger self as well: had the back skin-test and the shots, but on consideration, that was probably a bunch of bullshit. At any rate, living in city filth in early maturity to middle age, almost exclusively, cured me of all that.

TNP is kind of enjoying the pattern of this coming season: some time off work, combined with a very intense effort during times at.

Definitely. Looking forward to some downtime around Christmas.

TNP has travel plans before New Year's Day.

Nah. Can't do it, and just plain don't want to.

TNP has spent or is spendin, quite a little bit of mental energy preparing for the death of one or two of his or her parents. You know, preparing for a bunch of paperwork, and some emotional upheavals, and what is sure to be an unpleasant, time-consuming, boring task of selling or disposing of property and personal effects. Where applicable: pretty sure some people may have been brought in by the stork or are sired by Satan, but likely nobody here.

Yes, my sisters and I have spoken a bit about that. Every time I see them I'm aware of how old they've gotten, and my mom in particular has seen better days.

TNP still has some holiday shopping to do.

Nope. I truly have no idea what I would buy or make (well...I'm not much of a "maker," but you know) for extended family members. For the nephews...I don't know. The previous gifts (not necessarily for christmas) of a set of binoculars, my old boy-scout orienteering compass, a slide rule, and a Latin comic book of Caesar's commentaries on the Gallic War didn't quite make it into their set of most cherished possessions, so, whatever. Meh. They can gt their own hula hoops and Pokemon stuff. They get plenty of gifts, BUT, they do seem to remember things (except for my gifts! grrr), so maybe just I'll get drunk and scrawl out some handmade cards with, I don't know, they .... OH SHIT! My middle nephew at the ripe old age of first or second grade (US system) joined his school's chess club! No, he's not a nerd, but he seems to like it. Shit. I used to have a handful of small chess books, but I might have sold them all a long time ago.

OH, and that book, one of a serious, called something like Calculus for Preschoolers or something. I looked into that a while ago and it didn't seem as stupid as it sounds.

AND they all like animals, at least they did recently, or some of them. PERFECT! A first edition of Linnaeus!

I probably should do something for my parents, but they seem to buy everything they need or want on an ad hoc basis. And I haven't been spending much time with either of them lately, so I don't have a clue what they're into. A Raspberry Pi might be good for my pops, the idea being he could devise something to control his cheesemaking or wasabi plants, but I don't think he's putting much time into his semi-hydroponic wasabi horseradish thing, and pretty sure he's not making cheeses anymore. Plus, he's an über geek, schooled as a scientist and spent his career doing GIS since before it was a "thing" and applied data analysis, but for some reason I don't think he's into even simple computer programming. Just doesn't like it. For mother? No idea, really. Books are good for both of them: history for Mom, and for Dad, I don't think he reads anything except those airport fiction novels about detectives or whatever. Maybe as a joke I'll get them the breviary of the RCC mass in Latin. No, they aren't churchgoers, although Mom was confirmed and was catechized at the traditional age, and is still very superstitious, keeps holy water in her car, has crucifixes all over her house, medallions of various saints attached to various objects she carries around, all that.

ETA Yes, it's probably obvious it's the first time I thought about gift-giving this year. Hey, man, I'm observing Advent! Tain't no Christmas season yet!

TNP finds one of the most pleasant and rewarding parts of his or her job is to help new hires learn the "trade" (errr....OK, let's call it that) and get them set up on the right path with a good foundation.

No, that's not one of my responsibilities at work. But I have been a mentor several times, and usually enjoy it.

TNP will be going to a holiday party in the next three days.

Yeah, you could call it that. I'm still not sure I'm going to want to make the drive out this evening to The First United Methodist Church in an ancillary town, and it's not exactly a party, it's a concert, but I want to check out a former work supervisor on drums in a trio date with a big-name piano player. I'm pretty sure practcing Catholics, whatever their level of engagement, don't burst into flames on entering protestant churches, but I'm equally sure I'll do something stupid like genuflect in the direction of the tabernacle or something out of habit, so to speak. I'll still wear a jacket and tie, though.

Yeah. It was a pretty sober, respectful trio job. To their credit, the Methodists had purple stuff around, you know, because Advent and stuff. And, yes, I didn't find my car until twelve hours or more later, and spent an hour and a half doing a grid-search on foot and then the next few hours after in a few of the grossest bars in the burbs before deciding to take a bus back home.

And, yes, good for the fucking burbs, they didn't tow my fucking car away when I started canvassing the streets again at seven in the morning.

Goddammmit.

I'm getting too old for this shit.

TNP, if TNP wears a wristwatch, would go ahead and replace a stainless steel "jewerly"-style linked metal band with a NATO-style watchband and never look back. (The NATO-style bands are just nylon watchbands that can fit about any watch....I don't know how to describe them, other than they're not metal bracelet-type bands with the clasp, and they're not made out of rubber).

Yeah, you could call it that. I'm still not sure I'm going to want to make the drive out this evening to The First United Methodist Church in an ancillary town, and it's not exactly a party, it's a concert, but I want to check out a former work supervisor on drums in a trio date with a big-name piano player. I'm pretty sure practcing Catholics, whatever their level of engagement, don't burst into flames on entering protestant churches, but I'm equally sure I'll do something stupid like genuflect in the direction of the tabernacle or something out of habit, so to speak. I'll still wear a jacket and tie, though.

Yeah. It was a pretty sober, respectful trio job. To their credit, the Methodists had purple stuff around, you know, because Advent and stuff. And, yes, I didn't find my car until twelve hours or more later, and spent an hour and a half doing a grid-search on foot and then the next few hours after in a few of the grossest bars in the burbs before deciding to take a bus back home.

And, yes, good for the fucking burbs, they didn't tow my fucking car away when I started canvassing the streets again at seven in the morning.

Goddammmit.

I'm getting too old for this shit.

TNP, if TNP wears a wristwatch, would go ahead and replace a stainless steel "jewerly"-style linked metal band with a NATO-style watchband and never look back. (The NATO-style bands are just nylon watchbands that can fit about any watch....I don't know how to describe them, other than they're not metal bracelet-type bands with the clasp, and they're not made out of rubber).

Yeah, you could call it that. I'm still not sure I'm going to want to make the drive out this evening to The First United Methodist Church in an ancillary town, and it's not exactly a party, it's a concert, but I want to check out a former work supervisor on drums in a trio date with a big-name piano player. I'm pretty sure practcing Catholics, whatever their level of engagement, don't burst into flames on entering protestant churches, but I'm equally sure I'll do something stupid like genuflect in the direction of the tabernacle or something out of habit, so to speak. I'll still wear a jacket and tie, though.

Yeah. It was a pretty sober, respectful trio job. To their credit, the Methodists had purple stuff around, you know, because Advent and stuff. And, yes, I didn't find my car until twelve hours or more later, and spent an hour and a half doing a grid-search on foot and then the next few hours after in a few of the grossest bars in the burbs before deciding to take a bus back home.

And, yes, good for the fucking burbs, they didn't tow my fucking car away when I started canvassing the streets again at seven in the morning.

Goddammmit.

I'm getting too old for this shit.

TNP, if TNP wears a wristwatch, would go ahead and replace a stainless steel "jewerly"-style linked metal band with a NATO-style watchband and never look back. (The NATO-style bands are just nylon watchbands that can fit about any watch....I don't know how to describe them, other than they're not metal bracelet-type bands with the clasp, and they're not made out of rubber).

You can say that again... and again!

No, when I wore a watch, it wasn't one like that. But I haven't worn one in maybe three years; I just look at my cellphone for the time.

TNP has owned more than five cellphones.

I'm positive, yes. And not because of being a wanton, reckless upgrader. Just somehow happened that way.

[[ETA Sorry about the multipost! Not sure what happened other than ... what happened.]

TNP has owned (or still owns) more than ten computers (excluding phones or other gadgets, but tablets count, I suppose — that's a pretty arbitrary line, since I think a tablet is just a bigger phone, but whatever, and I'm using my phone these days to do some real computing in a terminal emulator, but, still, whatever. I'm drawing a line in the sand!).

No, maybe six or seven over the years. Certainly not as many as ten, I don't think.

TNP will be watching a favorite Christmas movie in the next week.

Yeah, I was sort of thinking yesterday or the day before about watching the George C. Scott A Christmas Carol. Not sure why, especially since it's not Christmas season, it just popped into my head as something to do.

TNP is absolutely not on board, whatsoever, with people who don't observe the liturgical calendar. Or at least a liturgical calendar. Because it's fun!

No, I don't care what calendar people use, liturgical or otherwise. (Happy Hanukkah, BTW, for those who celebrate it).

That's my favorite version of A Christmas Carol!

TNP will be doing some gift-wrapping tonight.

Yeah, sure. :)

Quote:

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No, when I wore a watch, it wasn't one like that.

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WHAT? It wasn't the kind of watch that went around your wrist? I am very confused, and I do not appreciate that, kind sir!

TNP does not like being pushed into a leadership role at his or her job. Call it being a pro tem superversor, or some kind of administrator. Not worth the added stress, nor the aspect of bossing people around, marshalling the troops, delegating, etc.

Nah, I've been an acting supervisor a few times and didn't mind it. Just one more step in my cunning, long-term plan for global domination.

My wristwatches mostly have leather wristbands, not metal or nylon, as you mentioned.

TNP has a cunning, long-term plan for global domination.

More or less. I wouldn't go so far as to say "global domination," although that was the idea behind my doctoral dissertation, to make a major correction to what I continue to see as errors composed on top of errors in the literary fields. Probably why I didn't finish it. But, yes, I have a long term strategy for my personal life, and while I get off course from time to time, it's still the way I think about things. It's not exactly a "cunning" plan — it's pretty simple, really, but it does require a bit of wits and some precise tactical wins in the service of the game.

TNP has been wearing something similar to a fishing vest, a Walter Sobchak vest, or something like that sometime in the last year. Broad category, so interpret loosely.

I have a dark green down vest that I wear now and then. Probably the closest I can get (much as I love ol' Walter).

TNP has seen The Big Lebowski at least ten times.

Surely, at least that many times. I usually FFWD through most of the scenes with Julianne Moore and the dream sequences, but I don't think that matters.

TNP would be constitutionally unable to wear a bathrobe in public (aside from maybe checking the mailbox or so forth).

Pretty much. 'Way too dressed-down for me.

TNP had a special holiday treat on Dec. 25.

Sure. I got to play a game of chess with my middle nephew. I'm a little sorry to say I showed no mercy, but I showed him a few things and we had some moments where he had a chance to rethink some moves. And I don't know where he got the idea that he couldn't kill attacking pieces with his king: got to nip that silly idea in the bud!

I don't know how old he is, exactly....second grade, US system? Something like that. Seems a little early to be in a chess club and playing little tournaments. Well, not for me at that age, but just saying. Just talking to his grandmother this morning and apparently they are all required to (use?) (know about?) "en passant" for some upcoming tournament. Really. How often does en passant come up in a game? It shouldn't really hardly ever occur, except as a little tactic where one gives up a pawn for a better line.

And, no, I'm not a good chess player, so please don't take this as sneak-bragging that I beat the snot out of a five year old or whatever age he is. We had fun and that's all that matters, in sport and games. IMHO. At about that age my grandmother, now deceased many decades, completely killed me at poker, gin rummy, you name it. I think it's a family trait, on that side, the distaff side.

TNP knows at least seven people in his or her extended family who have been in the hospital recently for some surgeries and whatnot.

TNP is extremely unhappy when he or she misplaces his or her eyeglasses and has to wear an older backup pair, but is extremely happy to find his or her regular pair underneath a chair or so forth.

I rarely misplace my glasses, but yes, I'm not pleased when it happens.

TNP has prescription sunglasses (as I used to, back when I was a Scout camp lifeguard and aquatics instructor).

Absofuckinglutely. Given I can't legally drive without them, or the untinted variety, and probably shouldn't even be walking without them. Or wouldn't want to, about that latter.

And, yes, I sometimes drive with them on at night, because of those bastards with the HID or LED headlamps.

TNP has a good response when somebody says, "Hey, man, what's good?" And if so, will say it.

TNP usually prefers wearing sunglasses when outside, unless it's a really dismal day.

No, I tend to wear them only if it's really sunny. If it's only typical brightness I won't.

TNP has bought candy today.

No. Certainly not. I did, over the last twenty-four hours, though. begrudgingly accept a Mason jar full of mixed nuts whose owner was very proud of his home-cooking abilities. It included two of those miniature York peppermint patties. No, I couldn't really refuse, so as I left I just shook his hand and said, "You're a good man, thanks again." I did indeed eat some of the nuts: true to his word, it seemed obvious that he'd pan-roasted them with some spices.

TNP has not gone a single day without saying a curse word, since the age of reason.

Hmmm. Pretty sure I have. Don’t cuss much, and was very careful when my kid was small.

TNP has been to San Diego.

No, I don't think so, but as a coincidence, my eldest nephew and his nuclear family flew down there just now as part of a "Make a Wish" grant. Not quite sure what the "wish" was, but something in San Diego, all expenses paid and all that. I do like the San Diego Padres, though, for the stupid reason that my town used to have a AAA baseball team that was a farm team for the Padres. No, I have no idea how the Padres have been doing lately — undoubtedly not so good, but it's a cool name for a team.

TNP doesn't really like eating cold fried chicken, but eats it anyway on occasion.