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Negative. I had a few bites of a very good apple cobbler.
TNP regrets not having had the chance to play Uno this Winter....change that, TNP is or has ever been upset that one's father chided him or her for performing delightful music. In my case, if I play "Jimbo's Lullaby," and if some jackass tells me to "keep it down," I fucking get in my car and leave. Stupid tone-deaf son of a bitch. I paid for your shitty dinner with two bottles of nice wine. Faggot.
Eh, I'd like to emend my previous comment and apologize for my crude language. That was not called for. Let's speak no more of that.
No, I had no pie but I had some good cobbler.
TNP regrets not having a chance to play Uno with the younglings on account of doing adult stuff, but still relishes the fun of having a spirited game when one is not otherwise occupied with playing host or such.
I love UNO, but we didn't play it with my wife's family this Thanksgiving weekend, as it happens. We did play San Juan, Bananagrams and Codenames, though.
TNP has played one of those latter three games.
Afraid not. Never even heard of them, but I'm sure they're fun.
TNP is not liking treating his or or her clients as "customers," and strongly resists the urge to ask "Do you want fries with that too?" Or put in an alternative way, is annoyed by people (usually men of a certain age) who seem to require special treatment. Because they're dickholes plunged in shit.
I don't have clients, but I certainly have known annoying people like that.
As to the games, I hadn't played San Juan before (a card game about building a Spanish colonial town) but found it unduly complicated and not much fun; Bananagrams (kind of like a fast-moving, free-form Scrabble) and Codenames (a team matching game using related-word hints) are both a lot of fun.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Juan_(card_game)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bananagrams
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codenames_(board_game)
Now TNP wants to play one of those.
Sure. Codenames sounds like a good ones for the older nephews, but pretty much I'm good with Uno, the odd game of Operation, and when they get older, chess, checkers, and Bridge and Gin Rummy. Besides, there's the whole thing about me despising my father, who seems to be a necessary adjunct to such occasions.
TNP thinks he or she should wear a multi-pocketed vest pretty often. Because of the pockets. And stuff.
Sure. Codenames sounds like a good ones for the older nephews, but pretty much I'm good with Uno, the odd game of Operation, and when they get older, chess, checkers, and Bridge and Gin Rummy. Besides, there's the whole thing about me despising my father, who seems to be a necessary adjunct to such occasions.
TNP thinks he or she should wear a multi-pocketed vest pretty often. Because of the pockets. And stuff.
I don't own any vests (other than a down one I hardly ever wear), and have thus far gotten through life OK, so false.
TNP owns at least three yellow neckties.
Hmm, don't think so. Nothing against it, just doesn't seem to be a popular tie colour.
TNP owns at least one orange necktie.
Negative. I don't think I've ever even seen an orange tie, although I'm sure the right person could pull it off.
TNP thinks a red necktie looks a little more sharp than a solid navy blue one.
Agreed. Better yet, though, if it has a pattern, or stripes.
TNP prefers turtlenecks to neckties.
Negative, colonel. I've developed a horror of turtlenecks — and my neck size isn't particularly large. I'll still wear a mock turtleneck, but IMHO that doesn't count.
TNP thinks neckties in general look sharp and doesn't understand men who refuse to wear them when appropriate out of some principle.
Yeah, a necktie can be one of the easiest and most colorful ways to make your outfit stand out from the crowd. I understand why some guys don't like wearing 'em, but I often prefer to.
TNP likes Debussy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUx6ZY60uiI
All right, fine. Since no one else is going to answer, yeah, I'm like a mental patient for Debussy's corpus. I find he is both the first and last important composer since Beethoven, excepting some oddities like Brahms and Schumann, until the modernism is to take over.
TNP finds it difficult to resist asking various "bosses," in a very sincere, earnest manner, "What are your research interests?"
No, I'm more likely to ask, "What are you reading these days?" Time spent discussing books is seldom wasted IME.
TNP is now reading a book published this year (as I am: Susan Orlean's The Library Book, about the 1986 fire which devastated the L.A. Public Library).
No, I'm working on a 2007 book that had escaped my notice, although it's my jam.
TNP has read a Bram Stoker book other than Dracula.
No. In fact, not only did I not know that Stoker wrote anything other than Dracula, I haven't read Dracula. Although I was acquainted with a famous poet who did some L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E-oriented work on one of her ancestors, namely, Bram Stoker.
TNP is acquainted with the L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E "school" of poetry, to some degree.
TNP is inspired to go to work even if one feels slightly ill (e.g., a head cold, sore throat, etc.) by the hopes of learning something new.
Yes, I'll go to work if I'm feeling only slightly ill, but it's out of a sense of duty and not in hopes of learning something new.
TNP has taken a sick day in the past two weeks.
I'm considering one right now. No, I'm not "hungover," just poor sleep, and been awake since 2300 or so, despite some considerable efforts to relax and wait until the correct time. Typically, sitting upright at my desk and having some wine, some coffee, and some decongestants does the trick, and I think I can rally in the next hour — however, there's very little incentive to do so, and I'm thinking (if I can contact the appropriate people well in advance, so as to not let anybody down), maybe the effort is better spent hydrating and running a few errands.
TNP is seduced by the lure of spending a day of drinking water and spending time getting one's head right.
Yes, that would be tempting, but I can't right now.
TNP still has some leftovers from six days ago.
Hmm, don't think so, ate Friday's leftover pizza for lunch today.
TNP commonly lunches on leftovers.
Not really. Being a bachelor, I usually cook just enough food for me to eat in one sitting.
TNP will occasionally overeat, like a goldfish or a jungle cat, for wont of not having to deal with leftovers. Also, other reasons.
Now and then, but I try to avoid it. I'd rather still be just a little hungry than feel overstuffed.
TNP has felt overstuffed in the past two weeks, other than on Thanksgiving.
Yeah. I never really overeat on Thanksgiving dinners -- about an average, modest plate of food -- but aside from that, I have problems keeping enough space in my stomach to hold the immense quantities of liquids I drink, in addition to fairly modest amounts of the wrong kinds of foods. In short, that's a recipe for gastric distress, especially when combined with ibuprofen. So, not so much overstuffed as stomach-wise incompetently directed by my mind.
TNP thinks Eisenhower's (Ike, not Mamie!) idea of turning bad habits (in his case, smoking cigarettes, IIRC) into personal challenges to one's discipline is how TNP confronts and inspects his or her own deficiencies in habit.
No, never really been into that.
TNP has seen John Ford's 1949 Western She Wore A Yellow Ribbon (as I did last night).
More than once.
TNP thinks Ford's Cavalry Trilogy is one of the great accomplishments of American cinema.
No doubt. A little John Agar, some Duke Wayne, some Victor McLagen. Something for everybody. In general, American movies would not be the same without those three gems (the movies, not necessarily the actors, and that goes double for Agar) and most of the rest of Jack Ford's movies. One could say that by highlighting the Irish-American experience, he helped the square public get beyond the more firmly-engrained Scots-Irish protestant hegemony.
TNP did not know that Roddy Macdowell supposedly had a huge dick.
No! I'd heard that about James Woods, but not McDowall.
TNP liked James Woods's role as Hades (playing him as a sleazy-Hollywood-producer-type) in Disney's Hercules.
No, but that sounds like a good role for him...I suppose.
TNP has jump-started someone else's car recently, using the cables and all that (and, if true, was surprised he or she did it right!).
No, but that sounds like a good role for him...I suppose. (N.B., I said "had" a huge dick, not "was a huge dick.")
TNP has jump-started someone else's car recently, using the cables and all that (and, if true, was surprised he or she did it right!).
Nah, been a long time.
TNP is kind of amazed by how high tech cars have gotten to be, what with the parallel parking by themselves and so forth.
Negative, absolutely negatively no. I see various innovations in private motor-carriages, and I see manifold points of failure.
TNP would never, ever let an automobile park itself in public. Maybe in a demolition derby, but otherwise, no, not where humans are involved.
Not for a few more years yet, but I can see that the day will likely come, and probably in my lifetime.
TNP hopes, health permitting, to live for at least another 30 years.
Hahahah..Oh. Wait, that wasn't a joke. Er, yes? Sure. Hope something eternal something flame springs....thirty years more?
TNP thinks one should never state that women make some of the best live-in domestic companions besides...I don't know...until they become sentient or revert to a feral state. Unless, that is, one wishes to become short-lived.
Yes, having been married for more than 28 years now, I'd say it would probably be better if you kept that particular observation to yourself.
TNP has seen a cartoon with a horse in it in the past two days.
Yeah, just watch Bojack Horseman last night.
TNP, between streaming and DVR, hardly ever watches a TV show other than news and sports at its broadcast time anymore.
Pretty much true.
TNP still gets movie DVDs from the library now and then.
Sure, but it's been a few years since I've wanted to see something I don't already have a physical copy of.
TNP thinks a movie to be viewed at home is immeasurably poorer if one cannot choose ad hoc one's choice of subtitles or dubbed languages.
Agreed.
TNP has seen the BBC TV movie SS-GB, about a Scotland Yard homicide detective in Nazi-occupied London in late 1941.
No. I can see the appeal, but I'm an old man who only watches the same movies again, for the most part, not to mention music. No, not kidding. A TV where apes evolved from men?
TNP hasn't changed his or her style of dressing since about the age of eighteen or so (not counting various costumes for special activities, like a gimp suit or other "exercise" equipment).
False, I try to dress better these days, don't always succeed.
TNP owns more than two pairs of blue jeans.
Not literally more than. I think exactly two pairs of blue jeans and a pair of black jeans. I've permanently switched to canvas work pants, though, and am not going back.
The first thing TNP thinks of when seeing someone do the "blue jeans + sport coat" thing is "hippie college professor."
Yup, or someone a bit stiff who's trying to dress down - or had to head out the door in a hurry.
TNP has been in a log cabin the past month.
No. I was a single-digit-aged child when I saw purely wooden structures.
TNP thinks Jerry Garcia should never have been allowed to touch a guitar, for his style is barbaric, offensive, and without any merit whatsoever.
Nah, I don't mind his playing, although I was never a Deadhead.
TNP has been to San Francisco in the past year.
No; in fact the most time I've spent in San Fran was on the way to Santa Cruz (very nice town, IMHO), so just passing through. And some other times, but just passing through, really.
TNP would rather spend a few weeks in Seattle than in San Francisco, if he or she had some time to kill or just wanted to.
Definitely. Seattle has a far more pleasant vibe, in my experience.
TNP would like to get to Portland sometime.
I've been there just once (in both Maine and Washington State), but would love to go back to each.
TNP has read any of Philip Kerr's Berlin Noir novels.
No, I haven't, but if I didn't have about twenty books already on the stack, it's probably a series worth looking into. I'm assuming it's in the "alternate history" genre, about which I know nothing, but would be good to explore.
TNP can't really understand why tourists visit his or her current town/city.
No, I haven't, but if I didn't have about twenty books already on the stack, it's probably a series worth looking into. I'm assuming it's in the "alternate history" genre, about which I know nothing, but would be good to explore.
TNP can't really understand why tourists visit his or her current town/city.
Nope, the Kerr books are not alt-history - here's the first in the series, which I just finished and is OK but not great, I'd say: https://www.amazon.com/March-Violets...by+philip+kerr
Here are two terrific WWII alt-hist books, with different, chilling takes on a Nazi victory:
https://www.amazon.com/Fatherland-No...ris+fatherland
https://www.amazon.com/SS-GB-Nazi-Oc...deighton+ss-gb
... and yes, I can understand why tourists come to my city. Lots of cool stuff to do and see.
TNP has been to Berlin.
Nah, still never been to Europe at all.
TNP has been to Haiti.
No. In fact, I think the only island I've been to is Vancouver Island (I think that's what it's called). Not counting islands inland (salt or fresh water), nor stops to change planes on island nations. Yeah, one single island thirty years ago is the only island I've been on. ETA oh, whoops. I seem to remember Manhattan is an island...well, those don't count as real islands IMHO — I'll call those "inland" islands. Oh, and Alcatraz. That's a real island. My memory is not working yet good this morning.
TNP thinks, in North America, most people don't understand just how big the "great lakes" are, and is himself or herself sometimes surprised by some new facts learned about them.
Definitely. All of the Great Lakes I've seen (and I've seen all but Huron and Superior, I think) are much bigger than you might think they are. You can't even see to the other side of Lake Pontchartrain, near New Orleans, and it's much smaller than any of the Great Lakes.
TNP has been sailing on one of the Great Lakes.
No, never sailing. Still I find it amusing that people are confused about the very idea of "going to the beach" at Lake Erie, for example.
TNP is very confused by the mechanisms involved in sailing, but still persevered and will share his or her good fish stories.
I've only sailed a few times, but did OK at it. My most memorable experience was sailing east, over the horizon, off the North Carolina coast once with my dad when I was a kid, and getting a bit worried that we'd end up in Portugal or something.
TNP likes this tune: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3t32DnKKvU
Yes, indeed. I am on a slow connection, but the first thirty seconds made me think the tune might have been "Five Long Years" (Eddie Floyd IIRC). I don't think that was Ike on piano, but I liked the subtle homage to Otis Spann's runs in the bass register of the piano. Reminded me of how Johnnie Johnson would have played it. Not going to look up the personnel, but that was a nice way to wake up. OK, I did look up the tune: "Cold Day in Hell." I don't recognize the name of the piano player, but he really is hitting that old Chicago style.
Good to hear a straight-ahead instrumental blues — good playing doesn't need the words IMHO to get across, even though I suspect the fellas in the band were just kind of having a bit of fun. It is still a bit disconcerting to hear the perfectly-tuned acoustic piano when the classic records always had a little something imperfect in the way the piano was tuned, but I can tell you it's a lot more fun to play on such an instrument even if it does sound a little clean. No, the piano player definitely put some grease in there, so no criticisms at all. In fact, if I were a bit younger and less convinced I was king shit, I'd try to copy some of those licks.
TNP has a favorite of the multiple blues players whose last name was (or is) "King."
Yes, B.B., and here's my favorite song of his: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0X1YI22T7W0
TNP liked that tune, too.
Sure. I appreciated hearing what was a new (to me) track from the blues boy. Not at all a regret hearing some good playing and singing.
TNP thinks there are about two things every musician has to come to terms with at some point: the compositions and style of Monk, and getting down to NOLA style. As in those aren't optional. IMHO you can hear some of Louisiana in BB's playing, especially the laying back a bit on the beat.
I don't know it personally, but have no reason to doubt it.
TNP is about due for a non-Mardi Gras trip to Nawlins.
No. I don't know anybody there and I'm pretty sure I'd get rolled while trying to drunkenly play music at some bar.
TNP thinks the more interesting places of a nation or region to visit are its major ports.
Sounds about right.
TNP has been to Nashville.
Yes, a few years ago. Nice town. There's a lot more to it than country music.
TNP still has some holiday shopping to do.
Ha.. No. I don't want gifts, and I don't give them. Xmas should be celebrated, if at all, as a joyous exuberance, not any of this Santa Claus bullshit with the reindeers and crap. IF I had someone about whom I cared, I might have been preparing a gift, but probably only in the expectation of receiving the world's greatest beej because it was so awesome. I will be at mass, though, and look forward to being in a good disposition to receive the eucharist. None of my family will be there, but that doesn't diminish the community of the parish.
TNP is somewhat consoled by the sorry state of the U.S. union that the E.U. is pretty much equally fucked. Or, to abstract in a juvenile way, the neighbors are doing it too, so it's not so bad as to waste time navel-gazing.
Yeah, in a way, "misery loves company" applies to nations as well as it does to individuals.
TNP would rather be POTUS than British PM right about now, if given the chance to replace either individual.
Oh, definitely, way more fun, way more job security.
TNP is starting to feel winter carb cravings.
Yes. A nice gooey grilled-cheese sandwich with three strips of bacon would be nice right about now. Oh, and a dill pickle on the side.
That sounds good to TNP, too.
Yeah, I'd eat that In fact, not too dissimilar from my meal after breaking a 48-hour fast yesterday: some burritos topped with cheese and slices of hard salami.
TNP thinks the "vaping"/e-cig people probably get more shit because of the appearance of impropriety (gasp! "smoking" in public!) than any real concern. Think of the children!
Yeah, probably. And it's just dumb.
TNP has never been tempted to vape.
False. I found a Juul e-cigarette in the drying machine at my neighborhood and was tempted to buy a cheap charger for it and a few cartridges, but it does have a lot of complications about which I'm uninterested — I suppose it's like a hobby for some people. But I've used the Nicorette inhaler in the past, as well as the gums.
I don't think it's childish, but it does seem to suggest people wanting to be "special" rather than just smoking a pipe/cigar, which I consider a bit childish, although not dumb.
TNP will name other common activities he or she considers "dumb."
Well, it's just my opinion, but: line-dancing, macrame, curling and collecting bottle caps, off the top of my head. But if you love to do any of those things, or love someone who does, bless you!
TNP has done one of those four things.
No, but I know a lot of curlers, being from Canada, and they have fun.
TNP has at least one hobby.
True: I think drinking wine out of boxes and "looking at" pornography count as hobbies. Then again as our friend Norman Bates remarked, "A hobby is supposed to pass the time, not fill it."
TNP can't wait until the "holidays" (say, from now through New Year's) is to have been over.
No, I'm enjoying them so far, and there's a lot more to come. Life is good.
TNP wants to go to Antarctica someday.
Yes. My dream "gig" is to go do some IT technical stuff in Antarctica — FWICT, it's pretty chill down there. Sort of like working in a warehouse, except the women have no choice but to abide by one's crude flirtations, provided those advances are reasonable and reasonably subtle.
TNP thinks "don't frighten the women" is a pretty good motto to live by.
One of them, yes. Along with "treat others as you would be treated," "leave the world a better place than you found it," and "be an informed citizen."
TNP has lived in at least three cities with more than 100,000 population.
Sure. I think I've gone as low as maybe 80,000 people (Missoula, MT was about that IIRC), and when growing up, it wasn't really a city, but whatever it was, it was way below that. For above 100K, I guess exactly four cities lived in for at least a year. Current town well above that, but IMHO it's more of a cow town than a city, but that's the facts.
TNP has never owned a pair of steel-toed boots.
False, used to be my footwear of choice growing up on the farm.
TNP has worked minimum wage jobs.
Of course. Some of them I was even pretty good at, namely because I was too young to know better.
TNP doesn't mind the idea of doing piece-work (picking fruit, doing little contract work, or being self-employed in general), and in fact prefers it to drawing a salary.
No, never done it, and not particularly interested in doing so.
TNP needs to do some more holiday decorating around the house.
Negative. There is none to be done.
TNP thinks that learning and playing (not note-for-note, but the general idea) Bill Evans' "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" might make it possible to placate the family on Christmas Eve.
Sure, why not? Reminds me a bit of the Charlie Brown Christmas jazz.
TNP is a Peanuts fan.
I guess as much as the next person. A Vince Guaraldi fan, I suppose, and I saw a professional stage performance of something about the Peanuts gang that was pretty good. Sure, that giant pumpkin thing and the kicking of the football and stuff — it's pretty good cultural stuff.
TNP thinks the real issue with most "anti-sport(s)" people is that some people are having the hard time to ignore a lot of the media and general talk.
I guess as much as the next person. A Vince Guaraldi fan, I suppose, and I saw a professional stage performance of something about the Peanuts gang that was pretty good. Sure, that giant pumpkin thing and the kicking of the football and stuff — it's pretty good cultural stuff.
TNP thinks the real issue with most "anti-sport(s)" people is that some people are having the hard time to ignore a lot of the media and general talk.
That's a big part of it, yes, but I think a good chunk of it is also people who didn't like sports as kids/were nerds/were bullied by athletes in school.
TNP has no interest in serving as White House Chief of Staff, at least not now.
Heh. It's steady work, but I wouldn't be lining up for that piece of piece-work. Something better seems a given.
TNP would rather live in Baltimore than in DC, now and ever.
False. I like Washington a lot, and have already briefly lived there twice; about Baltimore I hear more bad than good.
TNP has been in Baltimore for more than three days in the past year.
No, negative. While I've known quite a few people with close ties to Baltimore, I've never even been there, nor have any real desire to visit as a tourist.
TNP is absolutely shocked that cave-dwelling, mouth-breathing, knuckle-draggers still haven't been shamed into repentant silence about the idiotic opinion that "Baby, It's Cold Outside" is anything but a fun tune with absolutely zero "problematic" content.
No, although I don't personally think it's a "rapey" song, given when it was written and depending on how it's performed (the singers' tone of voice and ad libbing can make a big difference), I can understand how some people may hear it that way now.
TNP has drunk eggnog with rum in the past week.
Close. Whiskey with coffee+cream+sugar+preservatives is pretty close to eggnog with rum, although not as foamy.
TNP thinks smoking cigars is pretty gross, and is glad the old "hand out cigars when the baby is born" is pretty much dead as a tradition.
I don't particularly mind cigars, and have smoked a few myself over the years, but as a baby-congratulations gift it always struck me as a little odd, so yeah.
TNP has never smoked a pipe.
True, to the best of my recollection.
TNP vaguely wonders if there has been a huge downsizing in a formerly massive ashtray industry.
Now that you mention it, yeah, I bet sales are 'way down.
TNP owns an ashtray.
Yeah, a few.
TNP is extremely upset by disgusting people who don't empty their ashytrays regularly at their houses.
That's overstating things. Frankly, if I can avoid it, I don't even enter houses where people regularly smoke.
TNP has heard of Deadmau5, the techno DJ: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=um4Qei2arnc
No, never even heard of him. I do respect real DJs who use the turntable as a legitimate musical instrument, but I just never ran across his name.
TNP, in a similar vein, enjoys various works produced by "sound poets" (it's a large umbrella, ranging from early Dadaist/high-modernist experimenters like Kurt Schwitters, Raoul Hausmann, to Bernhard Heidsieck, to the Canadian group The Four Horsemen, probably whose most prominent member is the poet Steve Maccaffrey, out of Toronto, I believe, and the "young" lion Christian Bök, also out of Toronto, I believe, but a friend of the famous Buffalo Poetics grad program).
No, I don't know anything about them.
TNP will be going out for lunch today.
Not yesterday. Today, I might pick up my usual lunch special "kung pao chicken, steam rice" — for some reason it's one of the few foods I eat that doesn't cause me bad gastric after-effects. That is, among frozen or "quick-serve/snack-meal" food I get at the grocery store.
TNP finds himself or herself eating a smaller range of foods than when he or she were younger.
No, quite a bit more, actually. I was a pretty picky eater back then.
TNP is reading a great book these days.
Of course. I'm just picking at Petronius, and enjoying the language and humor once more.
TNP would just as soon butcher and eat Rudolph or any other reindeer than sing some little tin-pan alley song about that shithead stupid reindeer piece of crap.
Not my favorite Christmas song, that's for sure.
TNP has seen the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer cartoon in the past five years.
Nope. I've "gone deep" and erased most of it from my memory.
TNP despises the Coca-Cola Santa Claus (fat, blood-red, fuck with rosacea, COPD, and stage IV lung cancer with a midget tranny for a "wife," and a fetish for spoiled milk and rotten cookies), but still celebrates the brief Christmas liturgical season.
No, I like that Santa and almost everything about Christmas (except having the songs start on the radio in early November).
TNP will consume mass quantities on Dec. 25.
No. I'll go to mass in the morning and might eat some Chinese take-out. Alone. I can't take the family drama — it takes me days to recover from the chaos. I'll try to consume mass quantities of reverence and joy. Maybe I'll go to a bar after mass and eat there, alone.
TNP can't stand watching fucking golf, nor even hearing about it.
True. It holds zero interest for me.
TNP has nevertheless played golf in the past five years.
No, I haven't played since high school, and I thought it was beyond stupid even then. Although as my tastes mature, I think a "sport" where you can drink, smoke, and be as fat as a whale is appealing. Slightly fewer meth-heads than two other such "sports," like bowling and pocket billiards, I would think.
TNP is going to greet people with "Merry Christmas" during the Christmas season (through the Epiphany, or perhaps as late as the Feast of St. John the Baptist).
uhhh...correction...St.JtBapt's day is much later, but it's the same idea. I think it's called Feast of the Baptism of the Lord or something.
Anyway, the Sunday after Epiphany IIRC.
I think Advent is when is supposed to prepare for all this shit, like confessing mortal sins and so forth.
OK so alternate TNP: TNP plans to wear white (at least a white shirt) on Xmas Day, because of priests and colors and stuff.
If I know someone is a Christian, I will say "Merry Christmas." If I don't know, or I'm not sure, I say "Happy Holidays."
Not sure what I'll be wearing on Christmas Day - it might indeed include a white shirt.
TNP has at least three Christmas-themed neckties.
No, I have nonesuch. I do have a red, collared shirt with buttons and such, but that's reserved for Pentecost season. The closest to "Christmas" things I own are music in my memory, and a box of "Christmas" tree ornaments my mother assured me I'd want some day. I've used it for almost ten years to keep the attic door closed, as a door-stop, and when I get some extra cement blocks, I'll have no problem throwing that crap in the trash. It's garbage to me.
TNP can explain why and in which ways he or she is not cynical, in general.
I tend to be, as JFK described himself, "an idealist without illusions." I believe that most people are good and, until I see that there is evidence to the contrary, will try to do the right thing.
TNP heard at least three Christmas songs today.
Sort of. I "played" in my mind (i) a really whacked-out solo piano version of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" while lying in bed (basically melody+partial chords in the RH, but the LH just doing crazy fast random scales and patterns) (ii) just now I was practicing "singing" while doing a NOLA beat with my hands on the desk of "Silent Night." (iii) there were some tunes like that I thought of, but can't recall which.
I like the first idea: you could take something like the LH from Chopin's G-maj. prélude, and stick the melody on top in thirds with some little partial jazz chords here and there. It would sound pretty butch, I think. I should probably see sometime today if I could play it like that without injuring myself.
TNP thinks Christians should probably be allowed to be exempt from work on the several Holy Days of Obligation that occur throughout the year on non-Sundays. Were it not that there are so many different sects with differing liturgical calendars, and that government employees cannot be accorded that privilege (IMHO).
No. People are already cranky enough about religious issues these days.
Truth be told, TNP was always a little jealous of the Jewish kids and all the extra holidays they had.
No. The first Jews I got close enough to know their families, customs, and languages was in grad school — earlier, they just laughed if you asked "So, you can like eat bacon and stuff?" I've only known Orthodox jews to observe their little sectarian customs, and I find them, as a group, to be thoroughly unpleasant, strident, and culturally incompetent. Yes, I've known as friends and coworkers Israelis who didn't much care for having bacon touch their omelettes when sharing breakfast, but that's not the same degree of incompetence, IMHO.
TNP thinks religious practices are as good as any other to draw some cultural, ethnic lines in the sand. And, furthermore, TNP scoffs at the idea that a non-sectarian universal humanism should ever be possible, so long as humans roam the earth. IOW, minimize the damage.
Yes, and no, respectively. But we're a long way from it.
TNP wants to see the new Coen Brothers' Western, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2PyxzSH1HM
Seen it. Pretty good, but minor Coen Bros.
TNP knows somebody IRL in the movie business.
I know two people with ties to the TV industry, but no, not in the movies.
TNP has some eggnog in the house right now.
No, I have no nog in the house. The eight beers I drank while surprising my parents, uncle, sister and her children and spouse were foamy enough. And, no, I didn't get drunk and, yes, I managed to drive home just fine, despite the surprising amount of morons on the road.
TNP thinks you cannot understand the power of the sous vide method of cooking beef without having tried it.
Sure, I'll go with that.
TNP has had at least three dishes cooked that way.
No, just the one. It may be a kind of sorcery, though. I think I am pretty good at getting the most out of any cut of beef, using traditional techniques, but the sous vide method is superior in every way when it comes to fascinating the palate.
TNP generally would rather observe or consume a spectacle based on methods one can attempt at home without the aid of perhaps superior technologies. For example, "consuming" a desk made of materials one can repair or build oneself rather than some kind of i-Desk. And so forth.
Observe, sure. Consume, not so much, unless it was food I actually wanted to eat.
TNP knows who Buster Scruggs is.
Not really. Sounds familiar, but I know more about Earl Scruggs, which isn't saying much.
TNP is surprised how much individual expression is possible on the humble banjo, even though he or she isn't real good at playing it.
Sure. I've always liked the banjo.
From the Coen Bros.'s newest movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2PyxzSH1HM
TNP has heard a banjo played well, in person, in the past month.
No, it's been a coon's age since I've heard even claw-hammer style banjo picking in groups specializing in Irish ballads and traditional tunes.
TNP suspects most SJWs would be fanatical, blood-thirsty tyrants at Jerry Lee Lewis's antics, if they knew who he was. BUT TNP would not join in the mob regarding Jerry Lee's choice of spouse.
I can't imagine joining any mob over anyone's choice of spouse, even if I personally found the choice extremely distasteful. If it's illegal, I'll leave it to the authorities. If it's just stupid, icky or in bad taste, it's none of my business anyway.
TNP has been miffed over a celebrity marriage in the past year.
No, I couldn't even name one celebrity marriage off the top of my head. My whole knowledge of that stuff comes from looking at the covers of the magazines while in line at the grocery store. Steve McQueen and Ali MacGraw? That was a scandal-maker. No idea.
TNP plans to be annoyed by people setting off fireworks at midnight today. Damn fool kids.
Nope. Around here, celebratory gunfire is more a cause for concern than fireworks.
TNP knows at least three people with guns in their homes.
Yeah. Thinking about it, it's actually a pretty big number of people, and I'm only counting people I know personally. Both my parents have CCW permits, and they don't know shit about handguns, much less about the culture. But they both have handguns, and I suspect they probably keep them locked up somewhere waiting for the next Y2K. Two of my black cousins grew up when the L.A. gangs started shit in the now-gentrified part of my town, they both strap. One or both of them probably still carry — the former LEO who is now a landscaper/handyman probably doesn't carry on the job, but I know he has the ankle/holdout holster + piece (Glock) as well as his regular. He's a big Glock guy — apparently, that's how they trained and armed them down in Salem.
ETA I'm going to clarify: I said "black cousins" for a reason. Actually they're of mixed race, being blood cousins. But it was a huge concern for my town in the late 1980s and early 1990s when regular gang violence started to penetrate up here, and so they grew up in that. Places that are now like "yeah, I'll have a soy-burger and a vegan milk" were not like that — it was a very segregated city, almost like Buffalo going east of Main St.
TNP thinks a nice pump shotgun on a sturdy rack above the front door is about all the firepower he or she needs.
TNP would rather talk about people getting divorced than about guns, therefore he or she knows somebody who has been to Reno, NV.
I'm equally willing to talk about divorce as about guns, so I'd have to say no. And I'm unaware of anybody I know who's been to Reno, Nev.
TNP has been to Reno, but not to get divorced, and not to sing a line from a Johnny Cash song, either.
No. I was very close with someone who spent a few years in Reno, and despite the Truckee River and some cool hillbilly stuff, it sounds like a real shithole. I couldn't possibly imagine choosing to visit Reno over some other remote towns.
TNP has seen something incongruous recently, like a person with a "coexist" bumper sticker backing into a parked car's side body panel at nearly an orthogonal angle and just driving off. And will provide example.
Didn't see it myself, but I read about a fistfight in a small church on Christmas Eve over whether someone could save a seat for a relative. Now that's the Christmas spirit!
Santa brought TNP something particularly nice.
Yeah. My uncle bought me a can of Planter's Mixed Nuts, and my mother gave me some pretty good socks. That was nice of them. With all the nephews and stuff, and for only a few hours on Christmas Eve we're all together, we don't really do the whole gift thing so much: more like everybody has to do a little brief bit of performance for the enjoyment of all, one hopes.
ETA That Xmas fistfight is funny. I don't know what people are thinking half/most of the time: that's non bueńo, I guess. One nice of etiquette in Catholic church is to sit in the middle of the pew, so as to leave room for others, anyway, sort of supposed to be a communion, not a social party. Even though there are plenty of opportunities to socialize after or during. Meh, people are wrong IRL, what are you going to do?! About guns, thinking more, it's really a ton of people I know personally. I don't really know any true rednecks anymore, but it seems many people — family, even extended family (cousins/uncles/aunts once-removed), as well as just regular old friends from way back, in addition to people you are friendly with in bars. Seems like 30-40% of people I know have some kind of firearm, even if they don't carry regularly).
TNP is obsessed with making sure the transmission fluid and engine oil is in good shape on his or her car/truck/golf cart/whatever.
No, just checking occasionally, as needed.
TNP now owns three or more motor vehicles.
No. I think it'd be remarkable for a single man to own more than, say, one car, and maybe a motorcycle. Of course some do, but it's a lot of time and effort to maintain even one vehicle for me.
TNP can estimate the number of hours per week he or she spends maintaining his or her vehicle(s), and will specify.
On average, zero, other than filling the tank. My car is very reliable.
TNP has been downhill skiing in the past month.
No. That would be far too whacky. Just as whacky as not doing a regular inspection of one's vehicle to ensure proper inflation of tires, calibration of mirrors, and testing fluid levels, including gasoline. As well as walking around the vehicle to ensure it is free from obstructions before operating, and that loose objects in the interior are secured so as to not interfere with the operator's command of the machinery. And, yes, operating the machine in order to refuel with gasoline or diesel counts as maintenance.
TNP did not know that the numeric size of a men's jacket refers to the chest circumference, and not the shoulders.
Correct - I just assumed it was developed from a combination of measurements for the typical male physique.
TNP personally knows an Australian.
Yeah, though I haven't talked to him in years, he did a stretch in our office back, like, 17 years ago.
TNP suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Don't think so, but that might explain my occasional blue moods.
TNP could do with some caffeine right about now.
Having some right now. Granted, it's mixed with whiskey, but it's still coffee. Poor man's speedball.
TNP eats take-out Chinese food pretty often.
Not that often, although had a bunch over the holiday season.
TNP orders pizza roughly once a week.
No, it's been a long time since I had a delivery pizza. Although there's a chain called "Pizza Schmizza" that serves an OK slice. The thin-crust frozen offerings have gotten pretty good IMHO.
TNP thinks it would be a pretty awesome accomplishment to be able to fearlessly take a cold shower, instead of the milquetoast "just right amount of hot" shower.
I took far too many back in my Boy Scout summer camp days, and can't say I'm nostalgic for that particular sensory experience.
TNP went to camp at least three summers growing up.
Yeah. Those were good times — lots of eight year old girls, and gosh darn it they liked me.
TNP is irritated by overhearing really inept, straight-out-of-Maxim-Magazine flirting from young kids. Not for any reason, other than it's painful to witness, and it is the verbal equivalent of listening to a table saw trying to rip wood.
Never heard that from any kid, thank God.
TNP knows someone who subscribes to Maxim.
Nah, wasn't quite sure it was still being published.
TNP knows where to find an actual magazine store.
Not a real one. This pipe/cigar store specializes in carrying many hundreds of different magazine titles, along with what passes for a few international newspapers (stuff like the monthly Le monde diplomatique, and a few German titles), but I don't go there because that little kid working the counter is a piece of shit. Not an actual place where you can get foreign daily or even weekly newspapers. Portland is not a big "book town" in that regard, or any other.
About the above and my previous post: by "young kid" I mean someone in their late teens or early twenties. Not an actual prepubescent.
TNP sees repurposed used cop cars pretty often (Blues Brothers-style, probably bought at an auction, I guess), and thinks it's an odd choice of vehicle.
Not too often - maybe only once or twice a year. I hear they're cheap and very rugged, and I guess that's more important than style or comfort for some people.
TNP has voluntarily ridden in a police car.
Not that I can recall, no.
TNP is going to Vegas in the near future.
Hell no.
TNP enjoys shooting dice to pass the time occasionally, or even to settle a small argument.
No, other than rolling them in games as random-number generators.
TNP got a new game in the past few weeks.
Sort of. I've been perfecting my repertoire of Planet of the Apes impressions. "March, into the Forbidden Zone!"
TNP is pretty sure the ordinary man of average size would find it quite impossible to rape someone to death. Should the need arise.
With only his penis? Almost certainly. Unfortunately, rape/murders usually involve hands or weapons.
TNP wants pizza tonight.
Yeah, wouldn't mind it. Normally I have it on Fridays, but last night things got a little odd chez Rube, due to home renovations.
TNP would kinda rather just move than go through renovations.
If I otherwise had to live in the house while it was being renovated, probably, yeah. It's a pain to have contractors underfoot.
TNP has a big home-renovation project in mind for 2019.
No. Maybe buy a new refrigerator and dishwasher (I probably won't), but that's not as major as what I'd like to do (replace all the baseboard heaters with something more efficient, and resurface all the carpets and flooring).
TNP can say without cheating which finger it is that made Earl Scruggs famous (thanks to EH for the alert about today's Google doodle).
No. I'll guess... his right thumb?
TNP knows if that's the right answer or not.
Correct. It is not the thumb. However, index and middle finger would have been acceptable. For TPP was only going by some on-mic chatter captured wherein somebody said something like "Now here's Earl, with that finger waggling that made him so goll'darn famous."
TNP sometimes thinks "Letters to the editor" and "Studio chatter/False starts" are some of the best stuff in a magazine or record/album.
Quite true.
TNP still subscribes to a dead-tree-edition newspaper or magazine.
Just one, a music recording magazine. I am extremely news-deprived, and usually get all my stuff from hearsay or from e-editions of The Economist, which I think is an ugly rag, but somehow satisfies me (although it leaves me underinformed about US politics in general). It's not economically reasonable to buy a hard copy of the WaPo or the NYT daily out here on the coast, nor would I take the time to read daily, since I commute by self-propelled vehicle. The Guardian Int'l or UK are better for online reading, which is problematic at best as a method. Libération is my favorite FR daily, but it is not a very good online set-up. If I were to pay for a magazine subscription, I'd go for the Quinzaine littéraire (a bimonthly newsprint sheet about new books and things), but I don't have much faith in the pay-online subscription model, and I don't particularly want my bank account tied to their undoubtedly very tedious fine-print contract. Same reason I don't pay for access to Libé online — I just don't trust things unless I pay for it and have reasonable security. Say what you want about the French, but they are very canny when it comes to financial matters and red tape. No thanks. ETA, yes, actually, the security matter is a pretty big concern which I have often cause to think about. While I'm in no way paranoid about e-commerce theft, even a n00b hacker at C/++ like me doesn't have to think too hard to be chary of the infrastructure. It's a big project, and, much like bridges and dams, some major investments are required to ... well, just, unimaginably huge amounts of code are, not really there. Similar to how I can inject and sniff information from the CAN bus from my 2000 Camry. I can't make it do stuff, really, but I could certainly make some efforts in a newer model car. Anyone can. EETA Actually, I would consider subscribing to a daily WSJ, but I have zero faith that the newspaper delivery person would be able to deliver it on time in the morning each day. So, that's two daily newspapers I'd like to see every day (WSJ, Libération) and one fun fortnightly (Quinzaine litt.). I've given up on National Geographic — three or four years ago it started to turn into just like "old people" ads every other page, sort of like the Smithsonian has always been.
Yes, I know, mobile phones, utilities, and many other things involve contracts, but I'm used to those immutable facts. I think a daily newspaper is excellent; however, I think it's strictly an urban phenomenon, which is best combined with walking past a seller, reading on the train or while walking, and sticking it in your jacket pocket when arriving at your destination.
TNP gives herself or himself a good two hours in the morning to consume caffeine (or other) and do some light reading before setting off into the world.
Nope. A small glass of orange juice, no reading, and out into the world within minutes of finishing getting dressed.
TNP prefers documentaries to thrillers.
Tough call, but, no, I think the visceral experience of even a cheesy thriller/gore flick is more versatile and more idiomatic to cinema in general. I love good documentaries, but most often I'd rather just read the executive summary or an exceptional prose work.
TNP does agree that dedicated documentary filmmakers have done, among the very best, a yeoman's job at highlighting marginalized concerns that could easily have been overlooked by even a savvy cultural critic. And will give an example.
Absolutely. This made a big impression on me at the time: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Dream_(film)
TNP has taken part in a boycott.
Yeah, back in the day did my best not to buy from Nestle.
TNP has pretty much given up any feeling that they can have an impact on the world's evil.
No. Maybe not a huge effect, but observing the efforts of someone like the actor Jim Carrey's satirical cartoons makes me a bit sanguine about the power of individual expression (even if he did steal the idea of encoding insults in binary or hexadecimal in a public forum from me :)), especially in a stable format like print, rather than the transitory media of live speech or commentary. George F. Will or Paul Krugman are other good examples of solitary agents working in similar forms.
TNP prefers strong invective to so-called "nuanced" arguments in politics. IOW, one "motherfucker" is worth ten pages of some hippie nattering on about whatever.
Definitely not. Insults, in my experience, instantly close people's minds to whatever merit there may be in your argument.
TNP is closely following the Brexit controversy in Great Britain.
Close enough for Schadenfreude. Partially kidding — it's a goddamned mess all around.
TNP doesn't really know why Belgium, of all places, was chosen as the administrative seat of the EU. Punishment, maybe?
Don't really know, but suspect the same reason Ottawa's the capital of Canada, and so many American state capitals are nondescript places: Needed someplace that equally excluded the Big Boys.
TNP likes Belgian chocolate.
Very much so. But then again, it's the rare chocolate I don't like.
TNP is a snob about at least one particular kind of food.
No, at all. I'm at worst a snob about having food cooked a certain way (namely, the correct way, according to me), and I dislike certain foods with a gloopy, sloppy texture, like many kinds of potato salads, but that's not out of snobbery, just personal preference.
TNP has ever had someone try to commit insurance fraud by submitting a fraudulent claim to his or her insurer.
Not that I know of.
TNP thinks insurance is, by and large, a big pain in the ass, but still better than the alternative.
No, not really. I've never had to deal with Ned Ryerson door-to-door types — in fact, every insurance agent I've ever had to deal with (over the phone) has been remarkably well-spoken and polite. Then again, I've never had to file a claim, so who knows.
TNP is thinking about unplugging his or her refrigerator or is similarly shocked at how high his or her electrical bill has gotten. Drastic times, wot.
No, our electric bill has been pretty steadily predictable for years now.
TNP doesn't have to work on Monday.
No, not really. I've never had to deal with Ned Ryerson door-to-door types — in fact, every insurance agent I've ever had to deal with (over the phone) has been remarkably well-spoken and polite. Then again, I've never had to file a claim, so who knows.
TNP is thinking about unplugging his or her refrigerator or is similarly shocked at how high his or her electrical bill has gotten. Drastic times, wot.
I think you repeated yourself there, Slugger.
Yeah, well I got two fists, one for each of them.
Yes, I work on Monday. MLK, Jr. Day, after a quick Bing. AFAIK. And, no, I don't intend to try to start a race riot, nor participate in one as the token whitey. Maybe some people won't show up, but I don't know.
TNP has at some point in time ever discovered that he or she has indeed been paying too much for car insurance.
I was able to get a lower rate with a different company a few years ago, but the original rate wasn't outrageous or anything.
TNP had heard of the Dreadnought hoax, involving a young Virginia Woolf, among others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dreadnought_hoax
No. Sounds like fun, but given what comparatively little I know about VWoolf, she didn't have that great a sense of humor. Nor a great deal of respect for her elders, for that matter.
TNP thinks it would be kind of funny to give a copy of the book Final Exit to someone on their sixty-fifth birthday.
Yes, if he or she had the right (mordant) sense of humor.
TNP knows at least ten people over the age of 65.
I'm positive I do, especially including casual acquaintances like neighbors or even coworkers. It would be shocking if I didn't know at least ten such people, although I don't feel like enumerating them in my mind. Besides, everyone gets a free count of one from Trump — I know him like the strict but fair daddy he is to all real Americans.
TNP had no idea tomorrow (Monday, 21-jan-2019) is also known as "Blue Monday," because of reasons probably unrelated to the Fats Domino song.
No, I'd never heard that phrase before.
TNP is not terribly surprised there's a Wiki page for it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Monday_(date)
Not surprised, no, since I have been hearing the expression on all the media since I got out of bed.
TNP is a little tired of pretty much made-up things that the media keeps droning on about.
Yes, "tired" is a good word. I don't mind it, but it's an irritation. Like a scab or a blister.
TNP takes about half of what he or she ingests from TV or radio and discards it, for he or she finds it not satisfactory entertainment, but, TNP also finds it actively fatiguing to "scan" the "hot media" to get to the two or three important bits of information contained within.
False. I usually start my day on the CNN.com website for the headlines, and friends also send me links to stories they think might interest me. That stands me in good stead.
TNP expects to see, or have seen, at least three movies nominated for a Best Picture Oscar this year.
No. I don't watch movies. I make fun of them.
TNP would never consider installing a proprietary, commercial "app" on his or her phone, unless absolutely necessary to facilitate discontinuing whatever service should require such an absurd thing. Or, put another way, TNP thinks it's idiotic to install a bunch of random software on your computer, without knowing who, why, and what, in detail.
Nah, I install apps all the time. Bring it, bitch.
TNP is cold and cranky today.
Sure: I'm always cranky and cold, but not particularly today. Took the day off yesterday, fixed my car headlight, and I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance. I'm still annoyed at those chiselers down at DeltaDental (insurance co.) and PGElectric, but that's nothing new.
TNP is aware, generally, of how many calories (in food or drink) he or she consumes per day, maybe within a margin of one or two hundred KCals.
No idea. I know some stuff is good for me, and some is bad, and try to eat accordingly (unless it's delicious, in which case I just might eat it anyway).
TNP has been, or will be, grocery shopping today.
Probably not, no. Wife just went yesterday.
TNP uses a slow cooker a lot.
No, I haven't used one in years, although I think they're pretty good for cooking beans.
TNP has a pretty good collection of cooking equipment, almost none of which he or she uses anymore.
Yeah, we're pretty well set. My wife is the cook in our household, though. I'm the cleanup guy.
TNP has bought a cooking utensil in the past two months.
Yeah. I bought some more disposable coffee cups yesterday. That's close enough to a utensil for me.
TNP has never found a portable travel coffee mug that really satisfies.
True. I just don't like them somehow.
TNP doesn't understand why people drink tea when coffee exists.
Sure I do. They're two entirely different drinks. I like 'em both, and drink 'em both, depending on my mood and what (if anything) I'm eating.
TNP hates second-hand cigarette smoke.
Well, I don't hate it, just dislike it, but it's an unpleasant smell that seems to have some unique properties, like lingering malodorousness. Similar to some kinds of cooking smells and equal or less than the quantity of particulates created by that act, but not reminiscent of something one would like to eat.
TNP thinks he or she does a pretty good impersonation of a French accent in English. Or any other regional accent.
Yeah, I'm probably wrong, but I think I can do passable British, French, Russian and German accents.
TNP knows someone who does a terrible foreign accent.
Probably me. Waregirl didn't give more than a polite smile when, after she mentioned Cuisinarts, I tried to defend the company's honor like a French-accented version of Colonel Blimp. My world confuses and frightens her, I believe.
TNP has ever, with fully challenging intent, with a blank affect and full eye contact, asked of someone, "Are you serious?"
Oh, yes, I certainly have. I even know of a cop who asks bad lawyers that while under cross-examination.
TNP has seen a good cross-examination in real life.
Seen some OK ones, none as great as lawyers tell about themselves in war stories.
TNP knows why "Did you like her?" was a great cross-examination question.
No! Do tell.
TNP has a close friend who's a lawyer.