The next person to post in this thread...

No, I don't think so. The closest to a movie only twice seen is *Pee Wee's Big Top* (or whatever it's called), and my opinion changed from "this sucks" (as a child) to "this is slightly amusing" (recently). Not really a significant change, IMO. Others, I couldn't say if I've seen twice or maybe three times, so can't count them.

TNP would consider drowning an infant (without language, make it a girl if it helps your conscience) to have András Schiff's encyclopedic memory of vast swaths of musical repertoire.

Not even for a second.

TNP really likes online shopping, since it saves them from going into physical stores.

Yeah, I've come to prefer it. Saves time, driving, exposure to the cold, etc.

TNP will be going to a concert this week.

No, just listen to the carnival music in my head, on repeat.

TNP is excited to find out what the girls will be wearing when they emerge in the spring to display their wares.

Nah, I still appreciate it, but I don't think too much about it ahead of time.

TNP wishes that getting old had some upside, however small.

Yeah, my grandfather used to say vehemently, "Getting old is hell!"

TNP would rather have 10 last years of good health than relive his or her first 20 years of life.

Of course. Good for the future is better than an unpredictable chance at having an unpredictable future. Maybe someone doing life without parole would answer differently, or someone who owned a "pet" chimpanzee as a teenager and was mauled beyond repair, only an extremely abnormal case could answer different to me.

TNP thinks it likely that the derelict pervert apostate "Mike" Pence will run for POTUS and win in a few years.

I'm no fan, and wouldn't refer him to that way, but yes, I think he is likely to run, if not win, when President Trump says he's already MAGA and does not run in a (quite possibly doomed) 2020 reelection campaign.

TNP knows someone with a MAGA hat.

Not that I know of, though I can't say for sure about anything.

TNP owns sports clothes for teams they don't actually support

Hmm. Uh... no. Don't think I do.

TNP couldn't care less about the Super Bowl this year.

No, I'm always excited to hear second-hand about a new set of team-building exercises organized by some managerial types.

TNP would probably dig up a freshly-planted grave if there was treasure in there.

Hmmm...probably not in my present life. If I were an ancient Egyptian labourer, say...

TNP likes espresso style drinks.

Yes, although I prefer mocha.

TNP has been in a Starbucks in the past week.

Nope.

TNP has used that powder, "creamer" stuff some time over the past few weeks (in coffee, or however you prefer to eat it).

Nah, can't remember the last time I did that, maybe 40 years, I dunno.

TNP has tried reducing their calorie intake from drinks.

No. I almost always drink ice water anyway; I don't have sweetened drinks often enough to make much of a difference.

TNP is reading a great book these days.

Actually, yeah. Well, no, not "has tried," more like decided "WTF? No more of that, fatass." Over the past month I've been liberally adding cocoa hot drink powder to carafes of tea and coffee, and that stuff is shockingly high in nutrients. So, my weekly 96-hour fast for the past six weeks has probably included three or five hundred calories a day in "tasty hot chocolate" inadvertently on supposedly zero-calorie days.

TNP will specify what drinks excluding alcohol, and coffee+milk beverages, are alluring despite their energy/calorie/macronutrient content.

Oh, well, yeah, actually. I went back to Proust and decided to start in on the 2nd vol, the *IIn the shadows of the young girls wearing flowers*. I find it nice to take the time to savor the language, and rediscover the odd characters of one of the few great novels. I guess this will be my third time, but I forgot pretty much everything good about it, so it's sort of new to me, in a familiar way.

TNP loves the music of opera, say, Mozart's, but kind of also hates actually listening to the vocal performances.

Pretty much. I usually prefer the overtures and instrumental parts to the vocal parts.

TNP will specify what drinks excluding alcohol, and coffee+milk beverages, are alluring despite their energy/calorie/macronutrient content.

Coca Cola... wish I could drink as much as I want

TNP has had a strange week, even allowing for how strange their weeks usually are.

Oh. Yeah. You ever ... never mind. Let me just introduce the terms (i) laundering freshly-laundered things (which I hate to do laundry, it takes me all day and I just did this) (ii) clogged terlet (iii) redo shitwater laundry (iv) aerosolized can of lysol whatever ran out (v) going to have to change to shit clothes and do a full-bleach but on the good side (vi) whatever the fuck I ate finally worked its way through the pipes.

I call it not so much strange, but unpleasant 36 hours.

TNP can think of a badder tune than "Cold Sweat" by Mr. James Brown, and will name it.

That's pretty bad, no question, but I give you Ike Turner and "Baby's Got It": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ITnwNNXan8

TNP has another badass song to submit here.

Well, OK. Not really songs, but I'm liking "5 Little Preludes" by Bach, BWV 939-943. They're very short, and are as good as most of the WTC preludes.

TNP thinks one main disadvantage of traveling by private car is that, if someone gets in your way or the like, you can't tell them to "Watch it, bud!" "Or move it, lady," like one does when walking.

Nah, that doesn't give me much satisfaction anyway.

TNP uses Uber or Lyft.

Nope, never have, although a friend of mine used to be an Uber driver.

TNP would have no hesitation getting into an AI driverless car for a trip to the nearest big city.

None at all, would dig it.

TNP has never had a traffic ticket.

False. Maybe ten in my lifetime.

TNP has owned more than five cars so far (not all at the same time).

Fewer. Not a gearhead.

TNP thinks "So You Want To Write a Fugue?" is (i) clever (ii) amusing (iii) annoying

Mostly (i) and (ii), but just a little (iii).

TNP has shaken at least five people's hands today.

No. I didn't leave the house today. And even if I had, I rarely do a lot of gladhanding.

TNP has some pedagogical experiments he or she thinks would be rewarding and ethical to perform IRL (for example on subjects like languages acquisition, musical training, mathematics).

No, can't think of any.

TNP saw a movie this weekend, either at a theater or at home.

No, not this weekend.

TNP watched a sporting event this weekend other than the Superbowl.

Nope, and I only saw a little of the Super Bowl.

TNP has worn a hat in the past three hours.

I just woke up. So no. Unless I had some weird sleepwalking episode I'm unaware of.

TNP has mowed their yard in the past 58 hours.

Nope, probably not since late September.

TNP will wear a hat in the next three hours.

Yeah, I might don the old faux-fur trapper hat with eyeflap and earflaps for sleeping. I suspect it might be infested with bedbug instars or eggs, but that excites me.

TNP thinks he or she should start eating more potatoes soon.

Nah, probably already eat too many, although my weight is under control anyway.

TNP eats potatoes in some form every day.

No. Sometimes I go weeks without having a potato (although my wife would probably eat one every day if she could; she loves 'em!).

TNP knows a woman who loves potatoes.

Sure, I don't think I've ever known a woman who didn't love potatoes in some way or another.

TNP thinks you can serve just about anything to anyone with enough fancying up.

Oh, definitely. Most classic dish at the 21 Club is chicken hash.

TNP has no particular preference about how their eggs are cooked.

No, although I'll eat 'em just about any which way, I prefer them scrambled.

TNP prefers bacon to sausage.

True. Both good but bacon is just otherworldly.

TNP likes nectarines.

Like them fine.

TNP likes avocado toast.

No, never had it.

TNP will be watching a lot of the Winter Olympics.

I will be watching none of it, and deliberately avoiding any newspaper entries that address the winter sports in general.

TNP is extremely pleased that Ash Wednesday falls on the Saint Valentine's feast day this year, but not because he or she knows or cares anything about St. Valentine.

Nah, I don't care one way or 'tother. It will be when it will be.

TNP just took a long walk outside.

Nope.

TNP knew that the adult beverages Old Grand-Dad, Old Overholt, (and, IMHO, Old Crow belongs in the group as well) are all related products.

I did not! Thanks. Ignorance fought.

TNP has sipped something fermented or brewed in the past hour.

Nah, it's still morning. Unless you count brewed coffee.

TNP has a voice activated assistant, like Amazon Echo or Google Home.

No, I'm old school that way.

TNP has been back to his or her high school (or equivalent) in the past year.

No, but I travel by it several times a week, at least.

TNP can name one good, gainful reason to ever go to a HS (or equivalent, like reform school, or apprenticeship) reunion.

No, not one.

TNP is not the sentimental type.

False. I can get pretty sentimental about stuff (and have been back for two or three high school reunions).

TNP has three coffee mugs within arm's reach.

No. One mug to rule them all.

TNP cannot abide a desk without a flagon of water on its breadth, in suitable, manly proportions.

Nah, I get by with a cup of coffee or one glass of water.

TNP is pretty much incapable of keeping a neat desk.

No, my desks at home and at court are both pretty neat.

TNP has been to court in the past month.

No, it's been years.

TNP has stayed in a hotel in the past month.

No, more like six months.

TNP has been to a bar or bat mitzvah in the past year.

No. I don't get invited to stuff like that anymore.

TNP takes the Lenten period seriously.

No, can't say as I do.

TNP knows someone who has given something up for Lent.

Yes, several people. I never do, though (other than some occasional fasting).

TNP wants to fly to Wakanda: https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/21/enter...rnd/index.html

No. I'm on a BA Barracus kick about not using airplanes unless anesthetized, rendered unconscious, and packed in a heated crypt in the cargo hold. Or absolutely forced to under duress.

TNP was disappointed to hear Wakanda was something about some comic book, and not some mighty, righteous revival of the Black Panther Party.

Not until now...

TNP takes blood pressure meds.

No, I've always had low blood pressure.

TNP has given blood in the past two months.

Somebody's cat scratched me, but the cat did not consume the blood.

TNP thinks Pon Farr is the price Vulcans pay for their strict adherence to logic and discipline at the expense of their emotions.

Yup, pretty much. The birds and the bees....

TNP could go for a nice bowl of plomeek soup right about now.

Hey! English please! Anyway, I'm only a junior-grade nerd, having just learned some details of Pon Farr. No, I'll pass, not much for soup in general. And, although I don't doubt the Vulcan's rich culture, I somehow am not confident that their food is all that.

TNP is a little too good at inadvertently being "mean" to weenies on line.

Nah, I don't think so, although you never know what will set people off.

TNP has witnessed a particularly epic piece of trolling in the past week.

Fortunately no.

TNP is yearning to go surfing.

I'm yearning to sit fully in the shade on a beach, drink beer, and watch girls pretend to surf, while plotting the destruction of their male companions, and choosing which of the women will be most suitable as mates.

TNP is better than Ben Gazzara in Road House at driving an automobile, but equal or better than Rain Man at the same activity.

I guess I am, dadgummit.

TNP has actually said the word "dadgummit" out loud in the past month.

No, nor "consarnit" nor anything else suchlike.

TNP was aware that Manny Pacquiao is either a mere 38 years of age or he might be returning to the ring this year.

I hadn't quite realized that's all he is, but I always assume boxing retirements are bogus.

TNP has watched a fight on Pay-per-view.

Nope. Never have - maybe someday, but I doubt it. Just not my thing.

TNP has been in a fistfight.

Not the kind you're probably thinking of -- close, but never got to fists/shoving.

TNP can decide which accent is more ridiculous: Scotty or Chekov?

Chekov by a parsec.

TNP would like to have a hand phaser, but would promise always to keep it set on "stun."

I will make no such promise

TNP thinks it's odd that they often make use of cutting edge space age technology in order to find out where their pizza delivery guy is.

Nah. Even the most advanced tech sooner or later will be put to the most prosaic of purposes.

TNP has used the word "prosaic" in the past month.

Welcome to Prosaic, a vibrant community where commerce, technology, and family work hand-in-hand! No, I have not, neither out loud, in inner monologue, or in writing.

TNP has, for non-trivial reasons, a chance to learn a few items about modern Greek in the past month.

No, I can't say as I have.

TNP likes this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Aib242xM3I

Actually, I like that quite a bit. Thanks! Nice trap drums and percussion, solid two-fisted piano -- those guys hold down the groove just like champs.

TNP could go the rest of his or her life without ever hearing another song by The Grateful Dead or Steely Dan.

The Dead, pretty much, but I likes me some Steely Dan, esp. "My Old School."

TNP went to church this morning.

Not really, no. I thought about mortification of the flesh, though. I'm pretty that counts as partial credit. Still, a mortal sin to miss mass, but hey, I've kind of stacked up quite a few. I did make a few rounds through the rosary in the universal language, though, just for fun the other day.

TNP has an opinion on The Conquest (of Canada by the British, ca. 1759-1760) and whether it was good for present-day Québec, say, or the proto-US colonists.

My opinion on it is heavily coloured by it making my current life possible, can't really take a big picture view.

TNP didn't watch the Oscars until the end.

No. I didn't know it was the Oscars last night until I checked Bing at 0315 this morning.

TNP thinks the NFL and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences are equally interesting -- some companies selling some art-like products.

Yeah, kinda sorta. Neither is pure art or pure sport, but there are elements of both in each in varying measures.

TNP has seen at least three of the nine Oscar Best Picture nominees.

No, just two, as far as I can recall, and I watch a fair number of movies.

TNP thinks Get Out! was a genuinely great movie.

Didn't see it, but it sounds like a clever (if deeply weird) concept.

TNP has seen (as I have) Darkest Hour, Dunkirk and The Post.

No, I saw *Dunkirk* but I don't remember it. IOW, it was, to me, unmemorable.

TNP can think of a recent time when a very large company's HR+upper management are lacking in (i) lower-level human resources (ii) organizational coherence. And will explain, although explanation may be excised from TNP's report. TNP will explain.

No, I can't, sorry. I've never worked for a very large company.

TNP likes Vivaldi's Four Seasons: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRxofEmo3HA

Yeah. I haven't heard it in ages, and I don't have any kind of detailed knowledge of the suite, but there are worse things to listen to.

TNP is of the personality type that does not thrive when there are too many aspects of interpersonal relationships that require attention. Please interpret "thrive" however you like -- that's the main reason I chose to use a flexible, kind of open-ended term.

I'd say that's accurate. Fortunately my wife, sons and friends are all pretty much low-maintenance.

TNP has been swimming in the past two weeks.

No. Never.

TNP has had the amusing experience of watching a parent near death in various ICU wards, and would characterize the experience as both instructive and tiring.

Fortunately not. But my parents are getting on in years, so I dread the day that may come.

You've never been swimming, Jizz? Or just in the past two weeks?

TNP knows at least three doctors.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure socially at least three, and, well, wider circle, yeah, of course. I like doctors of medicine, as a rule -- they tend to speak so I can understand, and they're not fancy, as a rule. At least IME.

TNP thinks this is a funny thing to post to Facebook:

Quote:

---

I am fully expecting to be fired tomorrow when I report to work, on time, prepared, as I always am.

Remember Jack Lemmon in The Out-of-Towners? Yeah, well I don't have Felicia Farr to bone afterwards, but you best believe I have pen and pencil and every person I talk to, "Sorry, could I get your name please."

Damned right.

Papa don't take no mess.

No stuff.

Not taking any shit from some cracker asshole in no goddamned Portland fucking Oregon, excuse my French.

---

Yeah, kinda. Did Rex Tillerson post that?

Please see the second line of post 6893, Jizz.

TNP can actually speak conversational French.

Oh, no I know in theory how to dogpaddle, and I probably wouldn't die if thrown overboard. In fact I've done some water sports, like innertubing, dragged behind a motorboat, etc., just for fun, and didn't die. I just don't like it, and I don't know all the basics, butterfly, crawls and all that.

I don't know who Rex Tillerson is -- I posted it and "wrote" it, if you can call that writing.

about the latest TNP -- yeah. I only have two real groups of people I can talk to in French -- snotty Francophone academic types using an educated, formal register, and cretins you find in a café drinking beer at 0700 in the morning and other people in the street.

I know all the grammar, and the correct ways, and have a pretty large fancy vocabulary, I just prefer to just chit-chat, nice and easy -- it works out. I speak and write FR like a pig kind of, pretty sloppy, but nobody's ever complained.

TNP has been recently pleased by getting to know some new coworkers at his or her paygrade, and was surprised they're pretty chilled-out (to me, that means cool), as well as hard workers.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Jizzelbin

Yeah, I'm pretty sure socially at least three, and, well, wider circle, yeah, of course.

---

Disregard -- I was responding thinking of people with doctorates in medicine, instead of doctors of law or of other disicplines. I suppose that's the default in Amer. Engl., to consider "doctor" to mean someone with a doctorate in medicine.

Never mind, I'm easily confused.

So, yeah, the answer still stands.

However, I happen to not find doctors of non-medical disciplines to be quite as easy-going. Perhaps, as a rule, slightly "edgy" (in a bad way), but yeah, those are most of my friends, doctors of various disciplines.

And I don't have any RL friends who are doctors of law, although I guess I know a few -- not really friends, though, IRL.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Jizzelbin

...TNP has been recently pleased by getting to know some new coworkers at his or her paygrade, and was surprised they're pretty chilled-out (to me, that means cool), as well as hard workers.

---

No, I work in a relatively small office and know everyone pretty well already.

TNP will be traveling this weekend.

Hope not.

TNP detests surprises, in general.

Here's a better one, but feel free to choose: TNP has been recently SHOCKED, shocked I tell you that supposedly reasonable people don't immediately understand when you use the 24-hour clock with them -- you know, 19h00 == 7:00pm. I can adapt, it just seems ridiculous to not use the better clock.

Oh, in case I inadvertently offended anyone, here's a simple way: just subtract twelve from any hour greater than twelve.

Don't worry! You'll get the hang of the superior way of "telling time," I have no doubt.

And, no, it's not fancy, it's just easier. Much like it's easier to know "alpha bravo...echo foxtrot golf....uniform x-ray.." i.e., NATO phonetic alphabet than it is to keep fumbling around looking for words to spell stuff "'a' as in apple, 'b' as in boy" etc. Well, that doesn't matter, I just choose to not use my diminishing gray cells using a slapdash "system," so I use the real one.

Yes, I'm familiar with it as "military time" and sometimes cops around here use it in their official reports, but I don't see or hear it used that often.

TNP has seen Casablanca in the past six months.

Yeah, I guess I've seen it with the Rifftrax commentary about four or five times since then. The joke that Claude Rains' character, "would just love a darling cosmo, and a peek at Carrie Bradshaw's shoe closet" never gets old.

TNP can name a movie he or she has seen over ten times, and will do so immediately.

Over ten? None, I think. I've seen each of these probably five times or so, though: Casablanca, Breaker Morant, Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark. After that, there are several I've seen at most, IIRC, three times.

TNP will be seeing a movie in a theater in the coming week.

Yeah, I sure do love those sticky floors and cramped stadium seating and .... never mind. That's a big "No" from Uncle Jizz's POV.

TNP is kind of not that fond of St. Patrick's Feast Day -- just another day to remember an unusual historical figure.

Pretty much. Other than wearing green I usually don't do much to mark the holiday.

Unlike St. Patrick, TNP has no particular objection to snakes.

Yeah, I don't care about snakes/herpetology. Whatever. I guess they're cool, sort of. Don't care.

TNP thinks it is time for fresh meat to start posting here. New meat!

Or, alternate TNP, TNP had frozen pizza for the first time in a long time, or kind of approves. Sort of a sad food, but easy to cook!

On the first yes, on the alternative, no.

TNP thinks it's too bad that boxed, long-life snack cakes are such garbage nutritionally, because they're kinda fun and tasty.

Agreed - and don't even get me started on Hostess fruit pies (the gold standard of lunchtime treats when I was a kid). Yummy, but so bad for you.

TNP has had a Hostess fruit pie in the past three months.

No, never crossed my mind. I thought they whole Franz Bread/Hostess corporation a few years ago had a whole restructuring. Dunno. But the answr i still "No."


TNP had kind of an annoying exchange of words with a Doctor (discipline doesn't mattter) about politics, that was irritating, recently.

No. With a college student, yes, kind of, but no doctors of any kind.

TNP knows personally someone who's earned a doctorate of any kind in the past year.

Uhhh....no, I don't think so.

TNP has some idea of what it is to see the figure 5 in gold

I do indeed! I've even seen that painting with my own eyes in New York - quite striking. I like it a lot.

TNP has print in his or her home of a favorite famous painting.

No can do. Got some good maps up of various places, including the whole goddamned world, and a couple of whiteboards not yet full of shit. Oh, bunch of thumb-tacked lists and pages of music.

TNP has said "Thank you, dear," in recent memory, to some random person IRL and it wasn't a problem.

Don't think so, but I've pretty sure I've called a waitress "Sweetheart" in the past week or so without issue.

TNP has heard way more of someone else's personal conversation recently than they were happy with.

No! I'm proud to be an eavesdropper -- especially with some tight-looking chicks picking freight near me. I want *all* the information! Damn right! Time of the month, book of the week, it's all good!

TNP is revered and worshipped, like a god, for his or her impeccable manners and inscrutable charm, among his or her comrades/

Yeah, pretty much. Well, maybe not like a god. That might be overstating it.

TNP wants to go to LA sometime this year.

Wouldn't mind, be great to see some ballgames and L.A. has a bunch of parks close together. Doubt if I can pull it off, though.

TNP plans to go to Vegas in the next 12 months.

Yeah, I might go in case I want my face pounded into hamburger by some gambling goons. So that's a big negative.

TNP has ever listened to any song/tune more than ten times in a row and will give an example. Genre doesn't matter. Aretha, whatever.

Nah, I don't think so. Even "Tangled up in Blue", I don't think I've done that many times straight.

TNP has listened to "Blood on the Tracks" a LOT.

No. In fact, never consciously. I know what it is, but I'm just not a fan of white folk (?) music (except country, and hillbilly improvised music). My brain isn't big enough to handle all the layers of politics and poetic stuff. But good for others who can enjoy it. I will always worship "The Band" though -- well, I can't see ever not having their records somewhere in my possessions. That's about as close as I get to Dylan. Yeah, I should give it a spin, but I just have a long list of stuff to work on musically, so it has to go at the end.

TNP can explain to me why it is that, no matter where I go, including at my new picking job, older (well, middle-aged anyway, and older) African-Americans just seem to get along with me, of all the different demographics -- not like best friends, just kind of, I don't know, it's just easy, like they know what I'm saying, I know in advance what they're going to say, we don't get in each others' way.. It's really strange -- I don't go out of my way to talk to anybody, and I certainly don't talk jive, and actually make a point to never call them "man" like some old white beatnik wannabe hipster, cause I've heard people do that and it's IMHO very defective, and it'd be insulting if it wasn't so ridiculous. Just regular. I do not know what that is. And no, it's not confirmation bias, except maybe white working class kids tend to hate me, because they are threatened by my manly essence -- although I know how to talk to them and we get along as soon as they see I'm not some fancy fairy putting on airs, just a regular.

I can't explain it, but I have a similar experience. Older black people and I usually get along just fine.

TNP would like to go swimming this weekend.

No. Never. (I think I got it figured out, about the before -- yeah, it's a kind of confirmation bias, but it's also just that there's a cultural element that I think, between African-Americans, at least of a certain age and economic status, rewards being just chilled out. So, it's no surprise that that's what you're going to remember. Dunno. It's definitely a thing, but I don't know anything about sociology).

TNP would like to have a nice terrestial water shower today or tomorrow. Five minutes tops.

Already had one this morning, and will certainly have one tomorrow. I average about eight minutes in the shower, though.

TNP likes this piece from V for Vendetta (esp. after 1:30 or so; also used in an early trailer for Interstellar): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjgTFd6XAg8

No, I can't comment.

TNP has demolished in a gustatory fashion about six corn dogs recently. Don't laugh -- they got vegetable, you can eat the wood sticks if you're fiber-deficient. It is a sad food, but hey, at least it's not quite as low as eating Hot Pockets. :smile:

No, I haven't had corn dogs in years - I prefer plain hot dogs (ideally with melted cheese and some ketchup).

TNP thinks that sounds disgusting.

Eh, no, that sounds like food. I'd eat that.

TNP has been OUTRAGED recently by observing a woman whom he likes being all friendly with some man (and, no, of course, such a woman would not be.....never mind, just another hipster from ..... grrr....) Exterminate! Exterminate!

What?

Let's do a better TNP -- I got it figured it out, with the whole white/black think, and I'll illistrate (sp?) w a RL example. So my man James (what he is like 70? at earliest?) So we doing just basically make-work to set up fo the next shift. He's coming by me and a couple hens doing their whole inscrutable thing, same as me, setting up for next shift.

He's talking to me, of course, just saying his piece, and he says something funny, so, I say something like "Hey! You put up 'em down, I pick em up! Way we last until shift ends!"

That just means we're on the same page.

He gets the next row, he says to the lady, one of whom says "Hey it's Santa Clause!" Whatever. Him out loud, "Hey, I got that last guy (i.e., me) smiling!" Some random woman in another row, "Yeah you might be Santa Clause, but I don't want that bowl!"

Conclusion, some people just aren't hip. And I have no idea what the ethnicity of the ladies next few rows were, nor I do I care.

TNP thinks there's a pretty good value, both for a company bottom-line, and also just humanity, to knowing what to say and when. Intuition is not to be undervalued.

Absolutely.

TNP has read Malcolm Gladwell's Blink, a good pop-science exploration of intuition and the usually-right snap judgments we all make.

No. I'm familiar with the journalist Gladwell, but I do not have a positive opinion of his capacities, in general. Although he is a fine publicist, and I certainly have read other of his collections. Many his syntheses are amusing stories.

TNP has bought a newspaper in the past week, and read it. A real one, you know, paper, ink, all that.

Yes, the Sunday paper just today.

TNP has been to a fundraiser for a worthy cause or candidate in the past month.

No.

TNP has a pretty skeptical attitude about fundraisers for worthy causes and candidates, and the very concept of worthy causes and candidates.

Not really skeptical. Suspicious, however. For a few good reasons. Even if the groups propose coherent changes I want and like (which the probability is vanishingly small). Better than a letter to the editor or a manifesto typed in a remote cabin, I guess, but, yes, I will not be having any of that.

TNP will answer the question: "War? What is it good for?" In the context of a society dominated by civilian security guards and other civilian employees of the state who have been accorded extraordinary de facto and de jure coercive powers.

Huh! Absolutely nothin'!

So... true, I guess.

TNP has at least three red pens within easy reach right now.

Not at the moment. Usually two differently-shaded Sharpies in reddish colors at my desk, but I've rearranged them. Plus, not at my desk right now.

TNP thinks it would be sort of an OK idea to take an extra (15?) how many minutes to do a fast food (McDonald?) tomorrow AM, and that the risk of finding foul contaminants at 0400 is probably pretty small. Although not negligible.

Sort of OK, sure. But I haven't been to McDonald's for breakfast in a loooong time.

TNP would prefer haggis to a Big Mac.

No. I've seen how Sean Connery reacted to the notion of Christophe Lambert's description of haggis in the motion picture Highlander, and I c...wait a minute, Sean Connery is like an octogenarian...I could totally kick his ass. No. I can't remember the last time I had a Big Mac, but to eat a sheep's ass stuffed with...it would require more time.

TNP has a whole list -- mental or otherwise -- of lady bartenders and prefers some to others.

Nah, I just don't get to bars that much except when I'm on vacation, and even then...

TNP has seen a bartender use their phone to look up how to make a drink. Bonus points: a famous drink, like a Manhattan.

Ha! No, never have. I rarely have anything other than beer or a glass of wine. I think I've had just a single martini in the past decade.

TNP has had his or her cellphone loudly ring at an inopportune time.

Yeah. Pretty much every time it rings. Except the 1-5% I want to be alerted by an obnoxious noise instead of a groovy vibrate.

TNP spends zero time thinking about murdering a potential romantic rival (who probably isn't), but, still...it would be a real shame if something happened.

Zero time worrying about that kind of stuff. My wife and I have been together for over a quarter century, and if a dude at her Tae Kwon Do club wants to start making passes at her, that would more likely make me chuckle than move me to murder.

TNP likes Coke Zero Sugar, at least more than they thought they would.

Oh, Old Crow Zero! I love that stuff! Oh....Coke Zero. I love that shit! Kind of expensive per gram, though. Oh....Coke Zero Sugar. Yeah, I've had that a few times -- pretty good, actually. Not too treacly, kind of a nice, clean taste. Yeah, if I had to drink a soft drink, I'd go for that.

TNP thinks that caramel coloring is kind of agitating to the stomach, however, and would prefer some other food dye, in general, in a beverage.

Doesn't bother me at all, but I'm more a root beer man than a Coke guy.

TNP prefers taking a bath to a shower.

I used to. Now I prefer neither, but since sort of gotta obliged, I like just a quick shower, scrub it all off. Just like doing the dishes -- has to be done.

TNP sort of has an irrational hatred of middle-aged men with beards. Fuckers.

Since I am one, no.

TNP has a crush on a famous actor or actress.

Not really. Nothing like the real thing, baby. Live and in stereo.

TNP is exasperated by some local businesses who don't apparently cater to people who are up and moving prior to 0300. How dare they!

Not in the least. I'm always asleep then anyway.

TNP likes at least three eggs for breakfast, when he or she has eggs for breakfast.

I only eat 50 eggs at a time. But now that George M Kennedy and Harry Dean Stanton are no longer alive, it's not as much a regular thing.

TNP indeed loves eggs, but can admit that they can be sometimes more trouble to cook than it seems worth.

That's true. (Three scrambled with buttered whole wheat toast and jam, three links of sausage, and OJ, is my preference).

TNP has petted a cat in the past two days.

No, I ain't had no pussy in a dog's age. Probably tomorrow @Easter, parents' cat.

TNP is convinced indoor cats cannot be trained to not try to escape into the wild.

More often than not, true.

TNP has been within 100 feet of an uncaged bear.

Yeah, I go down to one of the local leather bars almost every week. Lot of bears.

TNP thinks 99-100% of corporate web interfaces, for employees and such, are pure crap designed by and for children.

That might be a bit high, but yes, an awful lot of them.

TNP has seen Jackie Brown in the past three months.

I do my Jackie Browning at night, after I get done with all my business. SO, yes. If I'm ever at a complete loss for what to watch, Jackie Brown is up there. So, the answer is yes. Probably at least once in the past three months.

TNP knows the difference between Helmut Berger and Rutger Hauer.

I know who Rutger Hauer is, and I know he's not Helmut Berger (who I don't know at all), so... true?

TNP will tell us who the hell Helmut Berger is.

Is the answer Demi Moore? No, it is not. He was kind of an art-house actor, and "long-time companion" (?) of Visconti (sp?), the Italian director. I don't know, a high-class Tab Hunter? Or Scott Thorsen? He was just some actor.

TNP has seen more than a dozen Italian-language films.

Hmmm.....probably not, unless old Hercules movies count.

TNP loves old cheesy movies.

Some, but not many. Off the top of my head: Splash, Moonstruck and The Black Hole (despite its laughably bad science).

TNP will list three old cheesy movies he or she loves.

Manos: The Hands of Fate, The Horrors of Spider Island, Mr. Arkadin

ETA And the answer is NO, those horrible sandal-sword crapfests with people like Steve Reeves and all that do not count. Nor do the spaghetti westerns. However, it's an interesting point, since dubbing was apparently extremely common even for Italian-language releases -- IIRC Orson Welles did a TON of that audio work in post-production, and I believe Robert Bresson did a bunch of that, as well as some other FR directors from the same era. Melville, certainly. Of course, the New Wave did it, but sort of self-consciously or ironically.

TNP would rather live five years longer, or laugh five times harder than any person ever has five or more times.

I'll take the longer life. I laugh plenty already, and I don't think I need to be laughing harder.

TNP has three favorite romantic movies (mine are, at least for the moment, Moonstruck, Notting Hill and the 2005 Pride & Prejudice).

Not really. I couldn't choose three or even think of three within a minute.

TNP is wondering why Froody Blue Gem still isn't allowed to post here, in any non-article forum. It's been weeks, and she's not a sock or a troll.

Yeah, I feel bad about that. I guess Cat in a Suit has pretty much abandoned the place, and he was the last active administrator.

TNP will try to think of ways to help out about that.

Would that it would do any good.

TNP would like to go to Spain this year.

Yeah, actually. A couple of pretty dismal winters has changed my tune. I'd like to be around sunshine (not in it!), pretty girls, beer, good food, all kinds of people shorter than me. Some interesting plant and animal life to observe -- all kinds of weird trees and bugs and shit. Suits me fine.

TNP kind of has a problem-solving fetish -- he or she can't really let a problem go unsolved (provided it's of interest).

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday

TNP will try to think of ways to help out about that.

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Elendil's Heir

Would that it would do any good.

---

Apologies for the edit, and the OT, but there must be somebody running the Mellophant ghost ship! Seriously, what's the deal?

Yes, if I can solve a problem, I always prefer to.

Dunno about the Mello leadership. I've never quite understood it.

TNP still has some Easter candy in the house.

No. I don't what an Easter candy is -- those chocolate rabbits or some shit? Yeah, it's coming back to me, but no, there was a miscommunication so I didn't see my nephews on Easter. Yeah, I remember Easter candy, all that -- kind of a weird tradition IMHO. Meh, I don't know, the tomb is empty, so eat the good stuff, I guess.

TNP has now bought or will ever buy a pumice stone (?) to ... do stuff with.

No, my mom is the only person I've ever known who had or has one.

TNP can think of something unusual his or her mom owned.

Her extremely...eccentric?...brother counts, I guess, sort of.

TNP is not convinced that caging and leashing pre-verbal children is all that terrible an idea.

quite convinced.

TNP thinks that the idea of a beer back with a Bloody Mary is a pretty good one.

Nope. Never had a Bloody Mary, and no interest in ever having one.

TNP has three favorite beers, and will tell us what they are.

Sure. PBR, Camo Ice 10.6%, and Olde English. Not really the taster's choice, but the mass-distributed microbrews -- there's just too many and I can't remember all the brands. All the IPAs taste the same to me -- hoppy as hell, and not worth the extra buck or whatever (unless you're getting them free in lieu of cash for playing some bar). PBR is the poor relation in that family, but if you just want a pint at some dive to kill some time, it's adequate. Plus, Dennis Hopper. OE gets the edge over Steel Reserve 8.1 because now they make them in cool plastic bottles, so you can screw back on the lid if you get tired of drinking that disgusting brew.

TNP is outraged that Macca got knighted some quarter-century before Ringo. Bastards.

Nah, I'm OK with it. Macca had done more for the nation than Ringo had by then.

TNP suspects that Macca and Ringo have a secret bet as to who's going to be the last surviving Beatle.

No. I think Sir Paul probably thinks he's too fancy to associate with Ringo. Excuse me, Sir Richard

TNP will relate a small factoid about John Huston, such as that he or she never noticed that he has a little cameo part in Treasure/Sierra Madre. OR alternate TNP, TNP is thinking about learning to play the harmonica good.

According to Wiki, "During his 46-year career, Huston received 15 Oscar nominations, won twice, and directed both his father, Walter Huston, and daughter, Anjelica Huston, to Oscar wins in different films."

TNP has a favorite John Huston film.

Yeah, but it was one he acted in, not directed.

TNP will name a favorite Walter Huston movie. and I know what the answer will be! you people can't fool me!

Looking over his filmography, I'm not sure I ever saw him in anything - sorry.

TNP will be going to bed early tonight.

Sure. Actually I might hit the hay at 1700 or 1800 and wake up fingering my ass at 0100. The answer is yes

TNP can think of a similar problem to losing sensitivity in his or her fingertips. And, no, anything related to the genitals aint related.

Try as I might, no. Sorry.

TNP could use another stapler.

Nah, unless I got one full of staples, so I could avoid having to reload the one I have.

TNP really likes having a printer that automatically staples.

Hmm. That would be useful sometimes, but I don't have one.

TNP owns more than two printers.

Well, even if you count this old inkjet that, surprise, surprise, won't do shit without this fucking "MAGENTA," so it's basically trash, that's still just two.

TNP's laser printer is deficient in memory (RAM) (so takes a long time to print images like hi-res music scores) and/or doesn't print duplex (two sides of one page). And is outraged appropriately

No, but it misfeeds or jams with annoying frequency.

TNP has handwritten a personal note recently.

No. That's probably something to be slightly ashamed of, but the type-written word has sort of taken away the need in 99% of cases for me.

TNP has hit the "snooze" button on an alarm clock more than five times recently.

Nah, don't use it. Don't even use an alarm.

TNP hasn't slept all the way through the night in years.

False. I did just last night - although I have noticed in recent years that I wake too early, or am only half-asleep for too long in the morning before I eventually wake up entirely.

TNP has green sheets on his or her bed right now.

I have zero sheets on my bed right now -- I can't be bothered. I do have I think some green queen-sized sheets, but I can't be bothered with all that fancy stuff.

TNP thinks this is about the right kind of message you want at your regular after-work watering hole. Or at least thinks it's amusing.

A little funny, yes. "Hate" these days, though, usually means anti-immigrant, anti-Semitic, anti-women, etc. Not cool.

TNP has had coffee in the past hour.

Nope. I'm a working man these days. I drink my coffee in the morning.

TNP thinks EH shot his load a little early about "hate" as a word -- or, another way to say, "not everyone who jokes about hate is a Nazi." FWIW there's nothing white racist that could possibly be printed in a Portland dive full of hipsters -- well, there could be, but, basically, no fucking way. Even if there are racist Nazis here, like the cops who went around during Trump's "election," using county and municipal property to bleat "Yay Trump!," nobody would actually say that shit out loud, not around here. It's a good way to ensure getting beat to death by angry bicyclists.

Obviously not.

TNP needs to buy some stamps.

I think the answer is both Yes and No -- I have some from some old denomination, that I usually just stick a couple on for whatever needs to be mailed, but, yes, I should probably pick some up at the post office/grocery store one day.

TNP finds it challenging to remember to pick up some sundries like stamps and such.

Not usually, but as I get older, it's not as simple.

TNP uses reminders on their phone to help them remember tasks.

No. Pencil and paper.

TNP would eat a few tepid McDonald's breakfast sandwiches that had been sitting in their car for about eight hours. Two separate people at my after work "wash hands, have one or two beers, maybe practice some pool" place said, "meh, fine." But even though one was the barmaid, they're still just random people, and, frankly, none of the people in a bar at 10h00 seem exactly the pictures of health. :)

If I was hungry and they smelled OK, yeah, sure.

TNP has a favorite item at McDonald's.

Well, yeah. That would be the two sausage mcmuffins I just ate -- not the best at colder than room temperature....but, we'll see in six hours how good it is.

TNP has a least favorite McDonald's thing on their menu.

There's so much I haven't even tried, but I guess their fish sandwiches aren't a fave.

TNP will be leaving town this weekend.

Nope. I'll be doing good if I can plan out to do laundry and clean my kitchen and pick up some toiletries/household products at the drugstore. Definitely pulling the trigger on some Advil and some multivitamins...couldn't hurt!

Quote:

---

Originally posted by EH

I guess their fish sandwiches aren't a fave.

---

-- yeah, but the Catholics! They love that shit on Fridays! IIRC they're pretty not good, though, the sandwiches. And, to be fair, some of the hard-right Catholics can suck my dick -- they're doing it all wrong!

TNP has recently been woken up midway through sleep by a neighbor/outside noise playing some gawdawful music.

Nah, even the kid next door who plays the drums don't bother me much.

TNP can play a musical instrument.

No. Or Yes.

TNP can't play all the musical instruments he or she wants (including doing the hambone, playing the spoons).

True. I wish I were better at playing the piano, and if I could wave my magic wand and play the violin really well, I would.

TNP has a favorite violin piece.

Yeah, Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys, "Time Changes Everything." ETA I didn't know you knew keys, EH -- you sure don't talk about it much!

TNP prefers "fiddlin'" to straight classical violin rep.