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Like a light going on in a pitch black room, Collins' is suddenly struck with the memory of where she saw the Chorell's name before. "Computer," she says definitively, "Search all Starfleet classified Security reports and briefings from the last fourteen days for any mention of the star ship Chorell."
Anxiety chilling her, Kylah manages a grateful nod at Chief Nguyen while opening her communicator with pale, bloodless fingers. "Ensign Kylah to Det. Lt. Ruthen," she says, her voice betraying her taut nerves. "We are about to beam you up, if you are ready; I will be here to greet you. Our transporter chief will lock on your police communicator, as you suggested. Please let us know if you are ready and we will energize on your word."
Roble steps aside from the Science I station for Collins to ask her question of the Library Computer. It whirs briefly before stating, in its flat quasi-female voice, "Working... search complete. Caution: classified information may not be verbally disclosed in the presence of personnel lacking appropriate clearances. Do you wish a printout?"
Ruthen says, "Thank you. Ready when you are." Chief Nguyen beams her up at once, and she looks around the transporter room. The Thoth detective is a black Human woman of late middle age, with sad eyes and short gray hair, and is dressed in a dark suit. "Never been on a starship before," she says, smiling a little. As she steps down from the platform, Kylah sees she is holding a large datapad. "You must be Ens. Kylah...?"
Kylah nods. "Yes, ma'am. Welcome to the Yorktown; I appreciate your meeting me here," she says, trying to put some warmth into her words although the effort is a strain. She introduces Ruthen to Chief Nguyen and, after thanking the latter, asks Ruthen to follow her.
As they walk to the turbolift,* Kylah explains that they will be heading to Conference Room 2. "I have asked a colleague to join us. He is a security officer and accustomed to such procedures, and I wanted his company. I... I hope that is all right."
* Transporters are on decks 7 and 21, while conference rooms on decks 2, 7 and 17. I assume the rooms are numbered from the top down. So logically I gather Conference Room #2 is up on the highest deck possible--although it kinda depends how many conference rooms there are on the ship. Anyway, if I'm wrong, please correct me.
"Yes." Collins tells the computer.
Rangin nods at Delaney as he begins his work and then turns to the remaining guests. "If you will excuse me, I need to return to Sciences to pick up some extra telemetry devices for the bioscanner. With luck, we can at least have a test rig running in the next 24 hours, ready for some proper testing."
He takes his leave and heads off out of the Cargo Bay with a checklist of things to get.
Det. Lt. Ruthen says, "Sure, no problem. You can have someone with you." You soon arrive in Conference Room 2; Ens. Graham walks in shortly afterwards.
The Library Computer provides Lt. JG Collins with a printout. The only reference to the Chorell in the past two weeks is a classified Starfleet Intelligence report from 12 days ago stating that the freighter - along with two other cargo ships, the Adeline and Mists of Yvarra - was mentioned by a previously-reliable informant on Morra III as possibly being engaged in arms smuggling along the Orion frontier. There was no independent confirmation of the report by SI at the time, and there's been no update since. Collins now remembers having seen the report at the time it was first distributed.
"Very well," says Lt. Patel. "Carry on, Mr. Rangin."
Collins stands and lets Roble sit again. She half sits on the console beside him. "Commander, the Chorell could be involved in smuggling. Could their cargo be camouflaging weaponry?"
Graham introduces himself to the detective and gives Kylah an encouraging nod and brief smile before sitting down--one chair away from his colleague, hoping to find a balance between being supportive, giving her space, and not interfering.
Giving Graham a grateful but almost pleading look, Kylah then turns to Ruthen and invites her to sit down. She then takes her own seat and keeps her hands clasped tightly beneath the conference table--but when they feel too damp with perspiration, wipes them on her skirt before clasping them again.
"I... have never done anything like this," she murmurs, unable to keep from staring at the datapad. "Of course I will help however I can, but I must tell you, my memories from yesterday are not very strong. They gave me a concussion, and things surrounding the attack are foggy. Besides, it was dark and they were all wearing masks..." Kylah shrugs in embarrassment and finishes hoarsely, "I hope I can be of use despite everything."
Roble shrugs. "Anything's possible, but I doubt it, based on the earlier scans. Would you like a more intensive scan, Lieutenant? We could launch a probe, with APC approval, or I could use the ship's sensors more intrusively."
The Thoth cop sits down at the broad table. "I understand. Please just relax, and do your best." She turns her datapad so that Kylah can see its large display, which is blank at the moment. Her voice shifts and she now sounds like she is speaking almost by rote, following a script as she has done many times before: "I am about to show you a photo array compiled by my fellow officers. You will see ten people of similar appearance. You may see a closeup of any of them you wish, or look at them in any order you wish after seeing all ten. The images can be rotated so that you may see them from any angle. You may or may not recognize any of the faces you see. The array may or may not show an actual suspect in your case. It is possible you will recognize no one, and of course you should not feel obliged or required to pick any person. You may pick none, one or several. In keeping with best police practices, I do not myself know which, if any, person shown may be a suspect in your case, so that I cannot, even without meaning to do so, influence you. The decision is yours alone. But if you have seen anyone shown, at any time since your arrival here, please tell me. Take as much time as you need." She coughs. "Do you have any questions, ma'am?"
Not only are her hands clammy, but Kylah feels beads of perspiration forming on her scalp and forehead beneath her thick, curling hair. "I understand," she says, and since the words are so breathy they are nearly inaudible, she clears her throat and repeats them, adding: "Then... if I recognize someone, it might not be a suspect. It could just be a passerby, someone I saw at a shop--someone not involved at all."
She darts a glance at Graham before looking back at the older woman. "I do not wish to implicate anyone if I cannot remember how I know them, simply because they look familiar." Her gaze sinks to the datapad in front of her. "But I will do my best," she finishes in a murmur.
"Let's start with a deeper scan," Collins says while thinking about her options "and if there's an inkling of anything there, we'll check with APC about that probe."
Rangin heads back to the Science labs and picks up a couple of diagnostic recorders and the plans for the old Garudo Mk VI. It's been a little while since he last used one, but it was a workhorse for many years and a lot more robust than the current ones.
He smiles wryly as he refreshes his memory, thinking back to a safari he had been on as a student. Two weeks spent running around and over arid plains cataloging insect species, lugging it around between ten of them and keeping it in running order. They could have got rough figures from orbit, but it had been decided that a more local team would be preferable so as to not disturb the habitat. He'd been one of the first to volunteer and the credits for it had been useful. It had survived better than they had, when they crawled back into civilisation, but the experience was about to become even more invaluable.
Ruthen nods. "OK. Here you go." She taps a button, and ten faces appear on the screen. All are white Human men of generally similar looks, each about 40 to 50 years old. Kylah immediately recognizes Man #4 as the man who gave her the briefcase with the Andorian crowns in the bar's basement office. Man #10 looks familiar but she can't quite place him. Graham recognizes none of them, although Man #9 looks a little like an Academy classmate of his.
Roble turns back to the Science console and taps at the keys, turning the Yorktown's advanced sensor suite to even more thorough use. "Stand by... scanning now."
Rangin continues to go about his work.
Kylah has experience at keeping her face neutral, and she does so now. But she cannot control her dry mouth or the slight burning of her cheeks. Swallowing, she lifts a hand to touch the photo of Man #10, expanding it and looking at it from various angles in order to determine why he seems familiar to her.
Although she has put it off as long as possible, she then turns her attention to Man #4. A stab of nausea hits her, and her leg muscles start to ache and contract as if her adrenaline is ordering them to prepare to flee.
She does not touch his face. Even his photo seems likely to harm her. Was he in that dark room with the other two men? She thinks he was, that was her impression at the time and still is. But she will not say as much.
After a deep breath, she exhales. "The fourth image," her voice croaks out. "He is the man who exchanged my money. I do not know his name. I do not know if he was..." Kylah turns to Graham for support, licking her lips in a hopeless attempt to moisten them. "...If he was involved in the mugging," she concludes, looking back at Ruthen. "I just know he exchanged my money as asked, and gave me the cash in return. I know that for certain. The light in the basement of the bar, where we made the exchange, was dim but clear enough to see."
Her gaze shifts to Man #10. "This one--I am sorry, I mean number ten--he... I may have seen him before. He has a familiar face, but I am not sure..." Kylah concentrates to search her memory.
"Just say what you remember, to the best of your ability," Graham says quietly as Kylah looks toward him. Mostly he's worried about how she's doing trying to remember the traumatic incident--though at the back of his mind the run-around he was getting from the bartender nags at him.
With a small nod, as much to herself as to Graham, Kylah continues to look at the tenth image for a few seconds more. "My memory of the incident is vague but I do remember the money exchange," she says, a little more forcefully than before. She wants to assure Graham that she is being truthful, even though he knows that she intends to keep a great deal of her story a fiction.
"I can only say for sure that number #4 is the person who gave me the Andorian crowns for my credits. More than that, I... I did not see the attackers. They wore masks." Kylah knows both of the others are aware of this, yet finds herself repeating it anyway. "But exchanging the money is not something you can arrest him for. Or... is it?" Her eyes widen and her heart races with the new concern. "Such a transaction--that is not illegal on Anubis, is it? Am I in trouble? I promise I never meant to break the law!"
Sinking back into her chair--as if distance from the datapad will prevent her from being associated with the men depicted on it--Kylah hugs herself and falls silent. Surely Graham would have told her if she was implicating herself in a crime? And Lt. Thalen...
Calm. Remain calm. I am letting my imagination run away with me. She forces her breathing to slow down and, although her fingernails are digging into her arms wrapped around her body, she does her best not to exude such obvious desperation and guilt. With difficulty, she looks back at the datapad and the vaguely familiar final image.
Graham realizes he had started leaning forward toward Kylah a bit, and straightens slowly in his chair, shifting his gaze from Kylah to the detective. Out of professional courtesy and in order to make sure he's not perceived as interfering he'd prefer she speak first--although he hopes she doesn't leave Kylah hanging, in obvious distress...
"Currency exchanges over certain amounts are supposed to be reported under Anubis law," the cop says, "but that's not my concern, and it's not part of our investigation. Don't worry about it. How certain are you about Man #4? And when, or in what context, do you think you might have seen Man #10?"
Graham can't help but smile slightly at the detective's reply. He doesn't know Thoth law or how they organize their justice system, but in his experience most street cops would see violation of a "victimless" check-the-box financial reporting requirement as a cross-agency bureaucratic nightmare they want no part of.
He clears his throat, searching for something to say that wouldn't in any way appear to bias Kylah's response. "Take your time, ah--can I get you any water, Mr. Kylah?" he offers. "Detective?" he adds, with a glance her way.
While Roble monitors the scan, Collins goes back to the big chair and sits but doesn't relax.
The detective says, "No, thanks, but I wouldn't object to coffee."
After a few minutes, Roble says, "Scan complete. Still nothing out of the ordinary, Mr. Collins. I think it very unlikely they're smuggling; at least, not now, and not with this cargo. We could ask - or insist - on sending a boarding party, if you wish...?"
Collins considers the options but comes to no definite conclusion. "I defer to your experience, Commander." she tells Roble.
Kylah shakes her head. "No, thank you, Mr. Graham." She is feeling lightheaded, having had no breakfast today--nor anything to eat yesterday other than the Bellaque. But she wants to get this over with. "Detective, I do not think I can identify the man in #10. He might be someone I saw at a shop or the bar or in the street... or he could just remind me of someone from the resort planet we left recently. But as for #4..."
She drags her attention back to the earlier image and pauses for a moment, remembering how smooth and businesslike he was as he handed her the heavy briefcase. Her eyes flutter closed at the memory before she recovers herself. "I am very sure," she says hoarsely. "Unless he has a twin or a clone, the person in the fourth photo is the man who exchanged my Federation credits in the bar in Thoth."
Her hands reach up to clutch the edge of the table with white fingertips, trying to draw strength from it. "Given what you told me earlier about your lack of knowledge of the case... I do not suppose you know whether this photo is from some old record, or if--if he has been arrested?" Kylah turns to Graham, also for strength. "Will he know that I identified him?"
Graham swallows. It's pained him to watch how much Kylah has struggled, and, despite her age, her last comment is the final straw...
The sound wakes him, instantly, and he's across the room, and while Jane is still starting ask 'what was that?' he's through the hall, into the bedroom. Nothing but a nightmare. Lizzy clutches at him as he takes a seat on the bed. 'It's OK, you're safe,' he says, taking hold of her.
There's no monster here. But if there were, you'll get away even if I won't, and that's ok, he thinks.
The Thoth cops he's interacted with have been solid, but he's sure of it anyway. He glances at the detective, then leans forward toward Kylah, only holding back from placing a hand on hers because...well, I don't know why...
"Either way, it doesn't matter," he says quietly but with conviction. "You're safe."
Roble thinks for a moment. "Knowing what we now do, I would not advise a boarding, Mr. Collins. But you have the conn, and I'd be glad to discuss the possibility of further steps with you and the Captain."
"All of these pictures were taken in the last year or two," the cop says. "I don't know if he's been arrested. He is entitled in due course to know, and will be told, that you identified him." She looks at Graham, then back to Kylah, and smiles. "But I agree, you're perfectly safe."
She swears in Kylah, takes a brief statement as to Man #4, and then calls and updates Det. Lunnd. He comes onscreen and says with a big grin, "Fantastic. Thank you, Ens. Kylah. Man #4 is Verenn Beglett, who the other two suspects already separately identified as the man who hired them to rob you. No honor among thieves, eh? Beglett has a long record and is facing serious prison time, and maybe even mindwipe."
"Can I get that coffee now?" Ruthen asks.
Graham's reassurance reaches through some of the cloud of fear that surrounds Kylah. But she knows some threats cannot be blocked by muscles or a well-aimed phaser.
When Lunnd appears onscreen, she listens and tries to feel relief. Then his last word resonates with her. Ruthen says something but Kylah focuses only on the screen. "Mindwipe," she repeats, a swell of revulsion making her dizzy. Kylah stares blindly at the datapad in Ruthen's hands, though she cannot see Beglett's picture any longer, and then swivels to face Graham, aghast. Her lightheadedness nearly causes her to lose her balance, but she grabs at his sleeve at the last moment. "What--what does he mean? They will do something to his mind? As a punishment?" Because of me?
"Okay," Collins replies, oddly relieved that this conflict with the Chorell can be postponed, possibly avoided. "Perhaps we can include Commander Vargas? I will send the Captain a message."
She composes the message, Collins to Captain Singh and Commander Vargas. We have learned that the Chorell has previously been connected to arms smuggling. Commander Roble conducted a deep scan but did not find anything suspicious. I would appreciate if at your convenience the two of you could meet with us and discuss options. Collins out., and sends it off. She sits back a little in the chair, but still does not relax.
Ruthen says, "The court can order it for habitual offenders in some cases, if convicted. There are different levels of adjustment, or erasure, of criminal or antisocial personality traits. It's very safe, and usually effective."
Singh soon replies over the comm system, "Mr. Collins, Mr. Roble, please report to my office. Cmdr. Vargas will be there as well. Mr. Kendin, you have the conn."
"Aye, Captain," the Algolian officer replies as he rises from the Helm console.
Collins goes to the turbo lift, and when it opens, holds the door for Cmdr. Roble.
Safe. Effective. And barbaric. Kylah shakes her head, wishing she had not identified the man at all.
When she was eight, her parents had exhausted most of the tests and primitive mental probes available to their private physician, all in attempts to rid her of her brain's deformity. Finally the doctor suggested a mental eradication--something to clear her mind of everything she had learned and, hopefully, eliminate its ability to recognize emotions and thoughts altogether.
One test procedure proved tentatively successful: Kylah lost an entire month's worth of memories, and although her abilities were only slightly affected for a day or two, the doctor insisted to her parents that he deemed this a triumph. The three adults agreed that the next step would be a second, more invasive and permanent procedure.
Only Aldaan had stopped things from progressing further. When he learned what had happened and discovered Kylah could not remember his previous visit merely a week prior--not even the concert they had attended that night for her birthday--he was furious with Mother. He used all his considerable powers of persuasion to convince his sister that she was torturing rather than helping her child.
Kylah has always been grateful to her uncle. Her temporarily dulled abilities soon flooded back and became, almost perversely, stronger than ever. But that lost month never returned to her. Fifteen years later, she still has that hole in her life, and only a faded program from the concert, kept among her belongings back home even now, is the sole proof that it existed.
Kylah is revolted by the knowledge that she might be responsible for someone else going through such an experience. No one's mind should be changed against his will. Even after what this man did to her--or paid others to do. What of their minds? Has their turning in the man who bought their services saved them from his punishment? Will they always be able to look back fondly on the time they battered me and left me unconscious?
Almost able to feel the blood draining from her face, she unconsciously steps away from Ruthen. "May I go now?" she asks faintly. "Will I be needed further? Our ship has been delayed long enough because of me."
Ruthen says, "That should do it. Thank you for your help." She shrugs. "I guess I'll get my first cup of starship coffee some other time. Which way to the transporter room?"
Roble and Collins go to the Captain's quiet, oak-paneled office. Singh and Vargas are already there. Roble briefly explains the situation. "What's your proposal, Mr. Collins?" the Captain asks, turning to her.
"Other than the suspicious change of orbit," Collins says tentatively, more than a little bit intimidated but loathe to show it, "The Chorell hasn't done anything overtly illegal. Since the scans didn't turn up actionable, we should just continue to monitor them and track them as best we can when they leave orbit," she pauses, checking Singh's and Vargas' faces for any clue she's on the right track, "as long as it doesn't interfere with our original mission."
Graham hastily replies to the Thoth detective. "If you can spare a few minutes, I can take you the long way around to the transporter room - get you your coffee, and just happen to walk by a viewport so you can have a look at Thoth from above, if you like."
He turns back toward Kylah and asks quietly. "Are you sure you're OK? You did great."
Kylah gives Graham a tight nod. "Yes. Thank you very much for being here, Mr. Graham. I truly appreciate your support. And thank you for your assistance," she adds to Ruthen, affording the older woman a glance before rounding the table and aiming herself toward the door. "If you do not mind, Ensign Graham will escort you to the transporter, and of course you may have whatever beverage you wish. I must get back to my duties. Please thank Detective Lunnd and the rest for me."
She walks as quickly from the conference room as possible, heading down the corridor to the turbolift. Before she gets there, a wave of dizziness and emotions overtakes her and she slips around a corner to find a place to hide. She ends up near the Science lab area, which currently seems deserted enough for her needs.
At last her eyes close and she bends down, hands on her knees and head lowered in hopes of returning the blood back to it. With the curtain of her hair hiding her, she takes deep refreshing breaths. It is almost over, Kylah repeats to herself as a mantra. Everything but telling Uncle Aldaan what happened.
Vargas nods and says, "Makes sense to me."
The Yorktown's commanding officer leans back in her chair. "Knowing what we do now, and given how little our scans have revealed otherwise, I agree. Thank you, Mr. Collins. Carry on. Mr. Roble, please take the conn when you go back up." Roble and Collins return to the Bridge by turbolift. Kendin, having already heard from the Captain while the two were en route, yields the big chair to the Science Officer. Collins relieves Ens. Three Crows at the Security post.
Ruthen smiles at Graham. "That would be great - thanks. I've taken some suborbital flights before, but I've never been up this high."
A little time passes and Kylah realizes someone is stooping over her. "Are you all right, Ensign?" a Jenezite woman in Science blue asks.
Rangin picks up the datapad with the details, along with the rest of the materials he is gathering, the scanners, cables and a couple of tools before heading out of the Science area to head back for the Cargo Bay to get to work. He's wondering what's the best way to get the sensor up from Engineering but decides that it's easier to let Ens. Delaney to handle that.
From behind a corner, he can hear someone asking if another is alright and he steps up his pace to lend a hand. Rounding it, he can see his fellow Science colleague in front of someone.
"Can I help?" he asks politely, as he looks past her to the figure on the floor. His breath catches in his throat when he realises who it is and his mind freezes slightly as he wonders what Kylah is doing up here of all places.
Embarrassed when the Jenezite officer discovers her, Kylah starts to shake her head and respond. Then embarrassment turns to mortification when an all-too-familiar presence nears and she hears Velir's voice. His emotions are calm, and he sounds so gentle and concerned. This is the Velir Rangin she knows, the one she dearly cares for. But she instantly suspects he did not recognize her. The truth is, she realizes with an ache, he no longer treats her as kindly as he would a stranger.
"No, no, I am fine, thank you." Except the words are breathy and even she finds them hard to hear. She takes another deep breath and forces herself to stand, wiping some perspiration from her forehead as she does. Her hair feels as damp as if she has been caught in a brief rainshower. The whole time she does not dare look at Velir--fearing that if she sees the same contempt in his face as before, she might burst into tears again.
"I just felt dizzy for a moment, I needed some air. I am sorry to have caused any concern. If you please, I should get back to my station." With a ghost of a smile at the other Science officer, Kylah slips past the woman and starts around the corner. Moving too quickly, she has another bout of lightheadedness and quickly reaches her arm out to steady herself by leaning a hand on the wall. She remains on her feet and prays the others did not see.
Well, I blew that one, didn't I? Collins chastises herself Where the hell was my self confidence when I needed it? She doesn't dare turn around to look at Roble at the conn, instead concentrating on monitoring the Chorell and keeping an eye on her ship's systems.
Arms still full of equipment, Rangin can do little to react as Kylah heads past round the corner that he has just walked from. He can see she is not alright despite her protestations, not to mention that she is refusing to look at him and the fact she is heading towards the Science area he has just come from and not the Bridge, which is in the other direction.
He would love to just let her go, cut her loose, ignore her, it would all be for the best. But she is still a colleague on the USS Yorktown, still not well and he won't drop his principles because of her. If that means rendering help, Rangin will bite his tongue and just do so. He still needed to talk to her regardless and lending assistance is what he did well...perhaps this would be a good place to start again, after all it wouldn't be the first time as he remembers her limping on OCIII, the bittersweet memories and the time they spent afterwards in the Control room, as he spent time patching her up. No longer broken.
Shuffling the equipment around in his arms, he looks round at his colleague, "I'll check on her, make sure she's alright," he adds as an aside before heading round the corner to see Kylah leaning against the wall. Shaking his head, he ghosts up beside her, "Kylah, are you alright, what happened? Here let me give you a hand." he says quietly and gently, "you're heading for Science, not the Bridge." hoping his Jenezite colleague has headed off.
The Jenezite officer gives Rangin an understanding look with her outsized eyes, and walks away.
Collins sees nothing out of the ordinary with the Chorell or any other of the many ships in the Yorktown's orbital zone. She hears the bosun's whistle sound and the Captain's voice on the big chair's intercom. "Singh to Bridge."
"Bridge here," Roble says.
"Mr. Roble, Thoth police say they have all they need from us. Order all personnel on shore leave to return to the ship within one hour. Prepare for deep space. I'd like to break orbit as soon as everyone's aboard. And notify Anubis Port Control, please."
"Aye, Captain. I'll see to it."
Kylah closes her eyes at Velir's nearness. "I thought I was heading to the turbolift," she murmurs, letting go of the wall and holding herself as straight as possible. "I also thought you said you did not want to know me. Was I wrong about that, too, Mr. Rangin?" Slowly she opens her eyes, staring straight ahead. "I do not understand why you wish to help a corrupt strumpet who you believe tried to bribe you into keeping silent about whoring herself with a stranger in a barroom basement."
She takes deep breaths. She should have eaten, she is feeling worse and worse. "I do not need your help, thank you. I know I owe you a great deal and since I cannot repay what you have already done, I do not want to incur a greater debt..." Kylah's hard tone fades and she slumps slightly. He is so close to her. She is afraid he will touch her... and afraid he will not.
Her head shakes slightly. "I wish I could forget all this," she whispers. "Maybe they can wipe my mind, as well. It is a barbaric process, unworthy of the Federation. But I see the benefits. I could forget those men surrounding me with clubs. I could forget what happened in that hotel room. And I could forget that there was a time when you cared for me. When you held me and said soft words, not vile insults..."
Overcome, Kylah covers her eyes with trembling hands. "Please, Velir, go away. It is as cruel to treat me with false kindness as it is to call me a broken, miserable, lying siren."
T'Var continues with her regular duties in Sickbay. She tries to focus on them, but can't help but think of Fujishiro and those who will be most impacted by her death. And why is Fujishiro's condition having this much of an impact on her as well? T'Var has no answers, only deeply disturbing questions.
The doctor hopes her off-duty meditations will give some insight and some answers. Perhaps a game of chess and a delicious meal with Andrew Johnson will help as well.
"Because regardless of how I feel, you're still a colleague on this ship who needs help. This isn't false kindness, this is an honest concern for someone who really should not be on watch," Rangin states evenly keeping firm control of what he might be thinking and feeling, easier to just treat her as someone else than as Kylah.
He sighs, wondering why she is even still on duty at what she is saying. "You're right Kylah, I shouldn't have called you those names. That was wrong of me, I should have known better." He shifts slightly under the weight trying to stop his arms aching and takes a deep breath. "Kylah, there are no debts between us, just broken trust. You did lie to me and it hurt, but I don't intend to go on like that. You said that you would give me some answers, when you were ready. I would still like to hear those answers. That's all you owe me, nothing more."
He looks up and down the shaking figure, seeing what shape she is in and Rangin looks on sadly, unable to hate the near-pitiful woman in front of him and concerned about her. "Oh forget it, we can argue later. Look Kylah as someone who...cared for you, please take a break somewhere quiet. What ever it was you were doing, you look wiped out."
Shuffling the gear into one arm, he offers an elbow to her, even though she isn't looking at it. "Here, take an arm to lean on, if you wish."
Graham (to the best of his knowledge as a newbie on the Yorktown) leads Ruthen to one of the nicer lounges to get coffee and to a suitable viewport on the appropriate side of the ship to see the planet.
"The Thoth Constabulary's been solid--much appreciated, and please convey my thanks to Det. Lunnd as well."
Finally Kylah faces Velir and lowers her hands. He seems far away--not just emotionally, but physically, as if she sees him through a tunnel--even though she knows he is right by her side. "I have eaten very little but a pastry since yesterday morning--so that is all, I am just hungry and a bit dizzy," she murmers. "I can perform my watch, Velir. I do not want to be alone in my cabin, or in Sickbay where Fujishiro is dying and nobody can do anything, just like Mrs. Porr.
"Yes--Mrs. Porr," she repeats, the symmetry suddenly powerful. "Do you remember her? Her husband stood by her, even when she was turning into a monster. He refused to believe it. Why will people not believe it of me? I am not a monster. I do not know why I am different, no one can explain it. I do not wish to be what I am..."
She sucks in a lungful of air to clear her foggy mind and leans forward a bit. She cannot help herself--she reaches for Velir to maintain her balance. And his touch makes her moan with the assault of emotions. "You regret calling me the names, but you do not think you were wrong. You do not even trust that I am here, on this deck, for a good reason. I will tell you: they have caught the man who hired the attack. I had to identify him." Kylah lowers her grasp to his hand, tightening around his fingers. "That is what I earned. Someone paid others to beat and rob me, all because I was a fool. Can you not let that be my lesson? I will never get my mother's jewelry back, or my zither. Have I not been punished enough?"
Tiny bursts of light turn to darkness and she is no longer sure if her legs are strong enough to bear her weight. Clutching Velir's arm more tightly, she sways toward him. "What if I tell you what I can about Jan," she whispers in shame. "Will you forgive me? Or is it wrong for you to be shackled to me, just like Chief Porr and his monstrous wife. Am I selfish? Will you hold me again if you knew I was a monster? Will you..." Kylah feels as if the world is closing in on her. "Hold me?"
This time it is a plea. Her damp fingers slip from his arm and suddenly she is falling, alone and unsupported, just as she always knew she would.
Collins swivels her chair to face Roble. "Commander, before we go, with your permission, I'd like to contact the authorities. I'd spoken to both Hathor and Thoth about returning as much of Ensign Kylah's zither as they can. I feel certain she'd appreciate having it back, even if it is in pieces."
Pourtash and Hayes eventually leave Sickbay, but several other friends of Fujishiro's drop by that day, T'Var notices. Word spreads fast on a starship.
Ruthen is grateful for the coffee and for the look outside. In Observation Lounge 2, with all of Anubis laid out below her, sunlit and glorious, she sighs, savoring the view. Finally she says to Graham, "Just doing our jobs - glad we could help." She sips her coffee and smiles. "And it looks like the DA will have a very strong case if it ever goes to trial. Odds are, the bad guys'll plead out anyway."
On the Bridge, Roble says, "Good idea, Mr. Collins. See to it, please."
Rangin starts listening to Kylah as she begins to mumble, catching that she hasn't had much food at all, and he wonders who would let her on watch in such a state. As she leans forward and balances on his shoulder, he can feel her hands slowly try to grip tighter as she compares herself to a monster.
"Kylah, you're not a monster", he tries to interject, but she doesn't appear to be listening to him and with her last utterance he can feel the grip suddenly loosen as she topples to one side.
A dozen different thoughts run through his head, but all of them are pushed aside by his instinct to catch her. Dropping the sensors and cables as the grip fades, he reaches across to prevent her hitting the floor. A loud clatter fills the hallway as one arm grasps at thin air, but the other manages to slip under her side arresting her descent. But off balance, she is too awkward and the weight drags him down to his knees supporting her as his other arm flails around trying to stop his own fall.
After what feels like minutes, but is only a seconds or so, Rangin is holding Kylah off the floor, though the she feels much heavier than she looks. Resting her head on his shoulder and taking a firmer grip around her waist, he can hear her still burbling and he tries to cut through to her, worried by just how limp she feels, not caring about what he might think, but that she needs help.
"Ok, take some deep breaths, let's get you seated properly. Then we can get someone from Sickbay to look at you."
+ + +
Everything is swimming before her eyes, and Kylah tries to keep focused on what Velir is saying, taking breaths, but she feels his hands around her, and his concern radiates toward her in such a powerful, warm wave she wants to sink into it. Kylah shakes her aching head. "No, no, it is nothing, I can stand." She wills herself to be upright, the thought of Sickbay, of being so near Fujishiro, and being examined again by the doctors... she cannot abide it. "I promise I will ask Lt. Thalen for time to get something to eat. But do not take me to Sickbay, please."
+ + +
"Are you sure?" Rangin enquires nervously, still worried, but slowly helping Kylah to straighten while bracing against the wall. Looking over her, Kylah shows all the signs of fatigue and exhaustion and is barely holding herself together.
"Look, I'm worried about you and regardless of how I feel, I don't want to see you like this. You can't keep pushing yourself on like this, punishing yourself for things that have happened. You've been through a lot and need time to recover." Rangin gently brushes the hair back out from her eyes and tucks it neatly behind one ear, before holding her head up to peer into one eye to see how well she is focusing on him.
Kylah gazes back at him, slightly unfocused, with tired, sad eyes and the light he knew dimmed slightly from the events of the last few weeks. "Come on, I've patched you up once before, I'll help you again."
+ + +
Shivering under the tender touch as Velir carefully moves her hair, she freezes not wanting to look into his eyes for fear of what she may see. But when he guides her to do so and she stares back into his face, his concern is clearly there and his words make her eyes glaze with tears. "Do not say things that make me hope, Velir. Not if you say them because you feel sorry for me. It is too painful to believe you could like me again. It would be a lie, and you are too good to lie. I am the liar, not you." She leans her head back against the wall with a sob. "If you really wish you never met me, if that is still true, then walk away and let me be. Otherwise be compassionate, forgive me and let me explain. Anything else is unfair."
+ + +
Rangin nods slightly, at her request, he can do little else but accede. "First things first Kylah, before explanations, before anything else you need to recover. Once you're better we can talk about us, we both have things to share, but for now you're going to Sickbay. I think you may have bumped your head."
+ + +
Kylah shakes her head weakly. "No, I do not want to go, I told you. You cannot make me." She knows she sounds like a child but cannot help herself. Frustrated, she pushes ineffectually at his chest. "I can stand on my own now!"
But even as he loosens his grip, Kylah's body betrays her again and she starts to slip downwards. At once she feels his protective hold preventing her from falling further. Her eyes close in a wretched combination of gratitude and helplessness. "Please, Velir, I just want to be left alone!"
+ + +
"No, that's no longer an option. No-one should have let you go on watch like this." Rangin's voice hardens slightly, not with anger or amusement, but worry for his colleague who is now firmly held in his arm instead of balanced against the wall.
Lifting her back on to her feet with one arm tight supporting her, he shakes his head. "Come on," he sighs, "you're not thinking straight, you certainly can't take care of yourself and need help. There's no use arguing as we've had this argument before, I was right then and I'm right now. You need looking after and it seems I'm the only one who really cares for you. You're going to have to trust me, it's for your own good."
Kylah by choie and Rangin by CIAS