Letting your toddler run nude through the Queen's Diamond Jubilee celebration.
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Letting your toddler run nude through the Queen's Diamond Jubilee celebration.
Letting yourself get burned out and bitter.
Managing, as best man, to lose the wedding ring.
Nostril hydroponics.
Ocarina playing, when your bored guests would really just like to go home
Peeing on the Louvre's marble floors between 2 and 5pm.
Quackery
Removing the teeth of sleeping guests.
Staking people you're not absolutely sure are vampires.
Tinkering with the brakes of random cars in the supermarket parking lot.
Unfastening the gate to the velociraptor enclosure.
Vanquishing the good guys
Winning even when it makes you a jerk.
eXiting through the "IN" door of a supermarket.
Yelling "Fire" in a crowded cinema
Zaftig chasing
Absolutism is unquestionably the worst habit of all, no disagreement allowed.
Berating biker gangs.
Concentrating on the irrelevant stuff
Dragging up stuff best forgotten.
Excitedly pointing out when best friends have a zit appear.
Flirting with disaster.
Groping strangers in bars.
Happily admitting that you never vote.
Indecently leering at Girl Scouts.
Jumping out of a cake to celebrate Grandma's new pacemaker.
Killing time instead of cherishing it
Lodging official complaints with the FCC about programs you never watch.
Making cookies and not sharing them.
Never doing something for someone without expecting something in return.
Overcharging every customer whose last name ends in A.
Picking the neighbor's prize roses under cover of darkness.
Quitting a task before it's properly done.
Reneging on your offer to drive your neighbor, who lives all alone, to the hospital (from your remote rural community, where taxis and public transit are unknown) when she goes into labor, just as the contractions are about 20 minutes apart.
Sticking your finger in other people's ears.
Taking your finger out of other people's ears without permission.
Using other people's ears without their permission.
Viciously twisting the cartilage of other people's ears.
Wet Willying other people's ears using the tongue.
XXX-rated behaviour with your partner's ear in public.
Yielding to the urge to tongue some ears.
Zagat reviewing the quality of someone's ear.
Allowing the ear theme to continue into the next round.
Blindly yielding to peer pressure and writing something - anything! - about ears.
Cravenly continuing to write about ears, for fear of what other posters will think.
Defiantly always changing the subject to be about cats. :kitteh:
Enthusiastically making a dumb post about cat ears.
Foolishly changing the topic to something else: 14th century Swedish agriculture.
Gardening. In Sweden. In the past.
Handling the 14th-century Swedish farming implements with an unbecoming suggestiveness that causes witnesses to believe something unsavory is happening when the sun sets and the lonely Swedish farmer retreats to his hut all alone, lovingly stroking the farming tools he is carrying.
(yes, I've had two glasses of wine just now. Why are you asking?)
I can't even tell you what bad habits 14th century Norwegian farmers had.
Just try comparing them to the Finnish!
Killing threads. Although maybe sometimes a thread just needs to die...
Letting your negative thoughts slip out in your offhand remarks.
Mordantly being influenced by AllWalker's negativity.
Negativity.
:D
Overriding an attempt at cheer with more negativity.
Punching people in the face when you think they're being too negative.
Questioning the sincerity of someone who it putting on a big show of being negative.
Readily accepting that some people are just negative by nature, and it's all their fault.
Standing on the sidelines, refusing to speak out condemning negativity.
Tightening screws that the mechanic purposefully left loose.
Undressing your waitress with your eyes.
Viciously leaving an inadequate tip because the waitress fails to meet your standards of beauty.
Waitressing while insufficiently hot.
Xeroxing photos of the waitress from her porn star days, and sharing them with other customers.
Yelling "Could I have a hawter waitress, please?" to the manager.
Zeroing in on the hawter waitress
Accepting oral sex from hawt waitresses while other tables are impatiently waiting for their food.
Burping loudly while accepting oral sex from the hawt waitress.
Callously undertipping said hawt and remarkably obliging waitress afterwards.
Displaying your lack of charm to the other table after the waitress has finished.
Exiting the aforementioned fine dining establishment without thanking the management.
Forgetting to leave your flame thrower at home before visiting the popcorn factory.
Going to church naked.
Hiccuping loudly and repeatedly during the diva's aria.
Ignoring the very cool Botticelli game, if your screen name happens to be Zuul.
Jumping up and down impatiently as you wait for Zuul.
Knowing that you are about to let loose with an extra-smelly fart, but refusing to momentarily exit the small office you are sharing with others.
Loosing a fart in a crowded elevator.
Melting an ice lolly down someone's unsuspecting back.
Never having anything good to say about your coworkers.
Outing your friends embarrassing habits.
Peevishly refusing to give a guy a reach-around.
Quibbling over who owes whom a pint of blood.
Remembering too late to give that kindly old gentleman his parachute before he jumps out of the plane.
Slurping your drinks through a straw
Thinning the eggnog with urine at the office Christmas party.
Uttering the words to summon a fiery demon from Hell while visiting your niece's kindergarten.
Vacilating
Wishing that the wind would blow up the skirt of the cute girl ahead of you on the sidewalk.
X-raying very old people for hours on end.
Yelling in the ear of the person in front of you
Zapping French people with a high-powered laser from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Abandoning my work on the list of bad habits. Tsk.
Babbling loudly and incoherently while watching a silent movie in a packed movie theatre.
Cramming an entire pizza into your mouth at a buffet.
Declining a napkin when offered to you by the horrified waiter.
Evacuating your stomach contents upon your table.
Finishing up by screeching Deutschland uber Alles.
Giving the hitchhiker a ride to the middle of a cornfield in a Minnesota snowstorm, and no further.
Having a really ugly baby.
Ingesting earwax. In public.
Jesting with a man about getting a beer later, while the hangman puts a noose around his neck.
Kissing diseased monkeys.
Laughing as you ignore those pesky "BRIDGE OUT" signs and floor it.
Mimicking everything a person does, for several weeks.
Never refilling the ice trays.
Owing money.
Paying by check (and not getting the checkbook out until after the entire order was wrung up)
Quickly running away from a restaurant after a meal without paying.
Rivalling yobs in enthusiasm for soccah
Screwing up the formatting ;)
Tits deep in the yobbery. Zede.
U make no sense.
Very much not understanding how much ridiculousness to go through to find a doctor of psychology who isn't a retard to pencil US people in under my new health insurance. Better to go full Lacanian. At least they are real doctors, even if they are fucking insane idealogue fanatics.
Why spitz, why?! Don't taunt the jizzelbin! Fine, at least I'm happy, you get an x (as in x-ray!) -- speaking of which why is every secretary/phone person put in the five minutes to learn alphabravacharliedeltaechofoxtrotgolfhotelindiakil oetc? Are they hard of knowing?
Xenomorphs smuggled through Earth Customs because the Company wants to make billions.
Zebras emulated Balthasar the donkey in praise of the magnanimity of strangers only to smile because of Schadenfreude or whatever.
Always taking the last piece of candy from a crying child.
Beating the brat with a baseball bat. While excising y.
Circumcising without permission.
Daring a pregnant woman to jump from the high dive into a shallow pool.
Excising babby from her womb. Top that.
Finishing off babby with knife, fork and A-1 Sauce before her very eyes.
Gouging babby's eyes out.
Heaving Grandma overboard when she hits the ocean liner's buffet once too many times.
Ignoring grandma while she's in the car with the windows up on a hot day.
Jamming six forks into the slots of a plugged-in toaster.
Knocking people on the head with a hammer.
Licking the ass-end of a southbound pig. (Yes, that's supposed to be a joke).
Milking a woman without her consent.
Nurturing a cow's udder into expressing milky blackness.
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN???
Outsourcing a diabetic's insulin.
Pretending to be a doctor when a pretty girl's just been hit by a truck.
Querying quixotically ladybois in Qatar pursued by a squad of Quran enthusiasts.
Rubbing mud in the face of children as they're walking to church.
Selling seashells by the seashore without a permit
Taking pennies from the little dish next to the cash register, and never leaving them.
Yankee-ing it up in a UK country.
U really skipped a lot of letters there, didn't you?
Violently assaulting postal carriers when they don't bring you love letters.
Wetting the bed.
X-raying people who only came to you, a doctor, with a hangnail.
Yankee-ing it up in a UK country.
sheesh! so i missed a few!
Zealously cutting people off in traffic.
Actually saying something hilarious about anatomy
Bitchslapping the barista when your mocha doesn't get done quick enough, dammit.
Caterwauling like a boob
Delaying preparing your taxes until April 16.
Eschewing medium-rare roast chicken
Firing people who don't even work for you.
Getting some payback, OJ-style.
Hiring people with the promise of huge salaries, and firing them a week later.
I'ing the "man"
Jumping into conversations with strangers.
Kissing the pope's nose without permission
Loving Bill Cosby's seduction moves.
Mammying a la Ted Danson.
Never admitting you're wrong.
Ollie-ing in front of some nerds.
Putting a live salamander in the collection plate.
Querying a Quebecois about politics.
Ribitting loudly like a frog during French lessons.
Scrimmaging while wearing sandals without socks.
Taking all of the other kids' pieces of birthday cake and giving them to the dog.
Uniting these kids together, convincing them [insert relative] took the cake, and putting the cake in an open trash receptacle.
now that's what I call beat on the brat
Viciously stabbing the paper boy to death when he misses your porch for the third time in a row.
Writing porno and plastering it all over town.
X-ing out the eyes on all the portraits at the Louvre.
Yankee doodle. That is all. Yanqui doodle went to town, Fah Q.
Zebras, a dozen incontinent - releasing them in the cathedral during High Mass
Apoplectically analyzing internet essays from cracked.com.
Busting down the doors of little old ladies just to ask to borrow a cup of sugar.
Coating the labellum of an orchid with dogwater.
Dithering at the movie theater ticket booth, trying to decide what to see, while dozens of people wait behind you.
Estimating the gross weight of an elephant while going full pickle in a supermarket.
Freeing 18 rabid dogs from the animal warden.
Getting Kim Jong-un to lick his finger and flick the bean of an outraged orangutang.
Having your entire collection of orangutangs spray-painted pink.
Instilling fervor to the present Argentine president, Cristina F, without seeing an end in sight.
Jiggling the breasts of a perfect stranger on the subway.
Killing the beast with two backs.
Laughing when your best friend disconsolately admits he's considering suicide.
Making a salmonella-carrying reptile eat the peanut butter off a sleeping madonna.
Never washing your hands after helping someone else use the bathroom.
Opening a can of whoop-ass when you meant to open a can of cream of mushroom soup.
Pouring cream of mushroom soup all over your daughter's college application file.
Queafing on a new bride's shirt.
Realizing that that might actually have happened to the previous poster.
Smearing the celluloid print of a Smurf show with shit -- especially Brainy Smurf, that guy was the fucking worst.
Taking all three of the last cookies on the plate.
Umpiring a hockey game while wearing no pants.
Viciously criticizing a third grader's art project.
Wishing brutal torture upon some stupid kid.
X'ing out all the crossword puzzles in the blind paperboy's stack of The Daily Planet.
Yo momma
Zelig-like, photobombing and showing up in the pictures of people who don't even know you.
Ass-raping a nun at an historic mission in sunny CA
Now there's a mental image I didn't need....
Blundering into a fancy dinner party in nothing but a jockstrap and top hat.
speaking of images...i might want to have dinner sometime! urgh
Cream-pie-making with not fresh ingredients.
Dancing the Funky Chicken while everyone else is waltzing.
Eking out one's daily diet with a great creampie
Farting in a borrowed spacesuit.