The sushi tasted
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The sushi tasted
like ambrosia. Then,
as if mesmerized,
Dusty ate Sandy.
Sandy's parents objected.
But too late.
"She always liked
sushi," her mom
said through tears.
She tasted awful,
too much gristle
, yet I pretended
to enjoy eating
her, said Dusty.
It'd be rude
to not enjoy
eating a lady.
Bazinga!, I thought.
Suddenly, night fell.
OK, posts 215-218 made me laugh out loud...good work, guys.
Carry on.
WTF, how did I close this? :fail: Kinda ironic, considering my post! Anyway...opening it back up, sorry about that.
Then dawn came.
Already?! Space fabric
must be discombobulated!
A tree fell
asleep in my
hammock, I think,
although I didn't
really notice it.
despite my dendrophobia
for I was
balancing a pineapple
on my toes!
After the pineapple
did what anyone
with a wombat
would do, it
suddenly realized that
Broadway was calling.
"You could be
a star, baby!"
Such juicy pineapples
deserve a little
professional recognition, so
they sent a
headshot to an
agent, who promptly
called Mel Brooks.
Because he didn't
recognize the fruit
since he was
temporarily blinded by
an uncooked artichoke
which came flying
at his face.
The artichoke lodged
between his cheeks
(not those cheeks!),
and left him
unable to breathe.
He turned purple
and a rather
large swelling appeared
under his chin.
"Why, God, why?"
The Elephant Man
was Sandy's father.
A fact she
had shared when
her crazy aunt
served her for
breakfast last Tuesday.
"Oh dear God!"
Mel Brooks ejaculated,
NO TALKING DIRTY!
It makes me
all squirmy inside;
But it feels
oh so good!
"There must be
a point to
all this depravity?"
"No," Aethelbert said,
but he didn't
finish the thought.
Just then, twenty
Japanese dive bombers
flashed their genitals
and shouted, "Banzai!"
"Bollocks" was the
codeword for genitals
and also for
hard-boiled eggs
in their cult.
This egg cult
(for so 'twas)
had many rituals
and arcane secrets
written in yolk.
For these folk
soaking in yolk
admired James Polk,
that unjustly forgotten
singer of Folk.
Taking a soak,
the cultists took
no chances, really;
with their evil
machinations underway, they
began to hum.
Humming loudly, they
shot lasers out
of their eyes
and fried the
artichoke right off
the supermarket shelf!
The bag-boy gaped.
The cashier gulped.
The manager shouted
and carried on.
An elderly patron
keeled over, taking
the shelving down
with her - CRASH!
"Oh no!" exclaimed
the pregnant lady
as she birthed
a horrible monster
which belched fire.
The monstrous child
flew straight up
and hit the
glittering crystal chandelier!
Get the Broom
and the Dustpan
The party's over.
The crowd went
home and poured
tall glassed of
delectable whiskey sours.
After a few
too many, Sandra
dropped her pants
onto Steve and
said, "Howdy, cowboy!"
Steve's jaw dropped
at this magnificent
display of female
delectable carnal attractions.
Before Steve could
make his move,
the doorbell rang
. "Damn!" shouted Steve.
"Anyone in?" said
Steve's shoulderborne parrot.
Sandra grabbed her
shirt and pulled
the parrot off
, staining Steve's shirt.
Steve took his
time as he
lovingly pressed the
parrot poop down.
With a gasp,
Sandra noticed that
time had stopped.
As had her
painful rectal itch.
With delight, she
cupped Steve's left
ear, squeezing it.
Then she reached
down into his
man-purse, searching for
his man-cash eagerly.
All she found
inside the cavernous
purse was incriminating
evidence of such
foul, vile, sickening
fast food preferences,
that she had
no choice but
to fling it
onto the parrot.
(Disclaimer: no animals were harmed in the making of this yarn.)
Meanwhile, Steve had
decided to defenestrate.
himself to avoid
the unbearable shame
he felt. Sandra
Mind the period that ended my post!Quote:
Originally posted by CatInASuit
To continue:
just felt constipated;
feeling the need
to relieve her
grossly distended bowels.
Feeling better afterward,
she decided to
defenestrate, like Steve.
But she couldn't!
Instead she threw
herself down sobbing.