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No. I don't know if I've ever been given flowers. Maybe pictures of some, I guess.
TNP kind of wants to tell the next person who shoves some Xmas shit in his or her face in the month before Christmas Day to (a) fuck off and (b) get some church, bitch, because it's Advent, you fucking Satanist.
Tempting. Very tempting. (Actually, in the Episcopal Church, Advent doesn't even start until Dec. 1). Just saw a Christmas tree in an office window this evening, and I've already seen Christmas lights on someone's house. Too soon, dammit, too soon!
TNP has recently had to make a small household repair.
Yeah. In fact I can't remember what I most recently did, but it was definitely something that involved either a screwdriver and/or a wrench. It's a never-ending stream of little things — my place is not that big, but it's kind of fucked up with electrical problems and some minor plumbing things, and other things I sometimes take a half-hearted stab at chipping away at.
TNP would think putting the following statement on an employee "comment" whiteboard, signed with one's name, is meaningful. You'll have to substitute the "A" for an upside-down A, and the arrow for the "hook" symbol, and the caret is supposed to be the regular caret, and so forth: "Ax(Sx >= 2.5h --> 10m <=B <= 15m)." True story, as of today. If not, do a better one in standard notation (the above is just First Order Predicate Logic with equality, and the material entailment, i.e., "-->" or "hook" binds more loosely than the others, so no parentheses are needed).
I thought about making it more precise, possible with a good old ∃! (existential quantifier shriek) and doing the ugly equality operations and natural numbers more proper, or at least definition as you know ∈ Z+ mod 60 or something).
No, I leave that kind of thing to you, my dear Jizz.
TNP has a whiteboard within 20 steps of where he or she is right now.
Sure. It's my weekend, so at home. Yeah. In the interests of truthfulness and recklessness, here is
what's on a few. 5 ft = Distance(1, 2) < 30 feet Not doing a project now, obviously, so you guys don't get the full display of innumerable posterboards and stuff, just stupid junk I've got hanging around, literally.
TNP finds himself or herself, as he or she gets older, doing stuff just because, "Fuck you, that's why! What are you going to do about it, motherfucker?" Not serious shit, but like walking barefeet in places it may be prohibited or saying "That's good, rain man, nice and slow so you're more in my way" to people in the grocery store.
Not really, no, although I find myself not caring quite so much about what others think of me.
TNP has seen a Shakespeare play live in the past month.
Nah, it's been a while.
TNP has seen a live musical in the past month.
No, although on Saturday I saw a play (Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice) that included some songs.
TNP has read an Asimov novel in the past year.
Good lord, no. I think I dipped into some of the Foundation series as a small boy, but I really don't remember anything about it. Nowadays, I'm stuck in the way past for fiction and poetry, and I'm fine with that. Maybe pre-1960, or pre-1970 if I want to pretend to be current and "with it."
TNP uses the expression "Exactly!" pretty often in daily speech. If not, TNP is to supply his or her go-to expression that expresses a similar notion.
Now and then, yes. But I'm more likely to say "Yeah!" or "That's it!" or "Right!"
TNP is following the American impeachment controversy closely.
No. I can study it when it's done, but I'm not interested in producing propaganda, or in winning the hearts and minds of enemy combatants. The plane has already crashed into the goddamned mountain.
TNP has figured out how to use one's phone to control a digital jukebox, and declares it to be good. Except for that it's kind of hella expensive per song. If not, TNP must cover his brow with his hand and announce repeatedly, "Unclean! Unclean!"
No to both questions, although I dig the Old Testament reference.
Lo, peach ice cream is an abomination in TNP's sight.
No. I think it's fine, although I'm pretty sure I've never tried it. It bespeaks a feast appealing to man's prurient fancy.
TNP has become better acquainted with a handful of acquaintances in the past week. Mostly in the positive sense, but could be some irritating quirks as well. Just better-acquainted.
No, can't say as I have.
TNP, like me, is going to a classical-music concert tonight.
dp
No. That does sound invigorating, though, depending on what music.
TNP has on at least one occasion said something extremely terse and rude, but not obscene, directly to a person or persons recently.
Four Bach violin cantatas, as it happens. A pretty good concert.
Not "extremely," but yes, I got a bit terse with someone who kept contradicting me and was clearly not listening to what I was saying on Friday morning.
TNP is going to a fundraiser of some kind this weekend.
Sure! I just got done raising funds just now for a very exclusive cause, namely, my bank accounts. It's sort of like a "gofundme" project I've been in the habit of doing, just for fun.
TNP is very tentatively starting to use his or her phone for some tasks normally achieved on a computer with a real interface, and thinks it's OK. For example, downloading large ISO files of free software (legal! various linux distributions and such), plugging the phone into a battery source, leaving it in the car while at work to do its thing. That kind of thing.
Not really, although I'm using it more and more for audiobooks (just finished: Joe Haldeman's 1974 military sf novel The Forever War) while I'm in the car.
TNP thinks that's a good use of automotive downtime.
Sure. Probably better than plotting and executing elaborate vengeances against defective drivers.
TNP, upon unexpectedly seeing a grocery store or similar packed with long lines, has at least once exclaimed to himself or herself "Oh shit, fuck this!" (or similar) and just left.
Oh, sure. I've never had much patience that way.
TNP has chronic insomnia.
Not chronic, but occasional, especially if I go to bed upset or wound up.
TNP knows three women named Alice.
Ummmmm.....an Alice, an Alicia, and...no, I think that's it, just two (or maybe one and a half, depending on how liberal one is with languages).
TNP knows (or has known, in the case of dead people) three men named Lee.
Hmm...actually, I'm not sure I've ever known anybody named Lee, but I have forgotten a lot of folks.
TNP have lived in more than three distinct metropolitan areas in their life.
Yes, although some not for long: Cleveland, Ohio; Pittsburgh, Pa. and Washington, D.C.
TNP has spent more than a cumulative week in each of those cities.
No. I've never spent any amount of time in those cities. Each does have a certain reputation, though. Cleveland: that place on Lake Erie that has a good waterfront whose development probably isn't all mobbed up, like that other US city on the lake. Also, good orchestra to balance out all that rock and roll. Washington: that place with the people and stuff. Pittsburgh: that place you can drive around with all the stuff in it when you take the long way around.
TNP has worked with a woman in recent years who has a definite prejudice towards strong, capable men, and hardly seems to recognize the contributions of women on her team.
Yes. I never noticed it myself, but I had it pointed out for me by female coworkers, and I think they were probably right.
TNP has listened to Vivaldi in the past week. And if not: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhYcm52qDYI
No, I have not. But I probably should: that sounds refreshing, since I'm not very familiar with Vivaldi's work besides the greatest hits. Palestrina could do about the same good for me. Some nice motets could be nice as well. I could see going back to the quattrocento or cinquecento for some real old stuff.
TNP has not had a real urge to open somebody's nose with a nice right overhand in quite a while: pretty jovial mood, in other words, in general.
Wish that was true, but just yesterday was feeling a strong urge to give a dude the beating that he so richly deserved.
TNP thinks that anybody over the age of four who says "It isn't fair" probably has some problems.
Well, a bit older than that, but yeah, that's about right.
TNP will be celebrating Thanksgiving on Thursday.
Yes, I suppose I should head over to a family gathering, since I said I would. I plan to pick up a morning shift for a total of 2.5x regular wages that day, though, assuming I can hit "accept" before the slot gets filled, so that will be good.
TNP has learned something new (to him or her) that is probably true about motor vehicles recently. And TNP should say what that is, if true.
Hmm, no, I don't think so.
TNP has talked to a lawyer today, socially or otherwise.
Workwise, it's pretty much inevitable. Would have done it before I went to work, but my wife was asleep when I left.
TNP hates most TV lawyer shows.
Oh, definitely. When Boston Legal's early ads showed a picture of its sullen-looking cast with the tagline, "They hate lawyers, too," I practically threw something at the TV.
TNP has kissed a lawyer in the past five years.
Do it often, my wife being in the profession.
TNP thinks turkey is tastier than chicken.
Well, turkey IMHO has, in general, a stronger flavor than chicken. I suppose that could be "tastier," in that there is more there.
TNP has found a way to endure company "holiday" "forced" "don't leave early" "look like you'd rather be here than jacking off in a dumpster"-type exercises. Offering nicotine gum to people is a good icebreaker, but honestly, that's just politeness 101.
Yes, I try to at least feign interest in them and ask them questions about themselves - most people don't mind talking about themselves. Asking about books they've read recently, or movies they've seen, can also be good conversational gambits.
TNP ate turkey on Thursday.
Yes, even though I'm Canadian: my wife had bought a turkey early in the week, and we've been kind of living off it.
TNP could go the rest of their life without ever hearing about "Black Friday" again.
Indeed. I'd go so far as to say rather unkind things about that abomination. But I'm dressed head to toe in black for work, right down to my underthings; after a fashion, I'm celebrating it.
TNP would rather find his or her own bargains instead of sucking up the leavings some stooge put on the floor next to the dog bowl.
Oh, absolutely. But I pretty much do my shopping all year long - if I see something I think my sister would like for Christmas in, say, June, I just buy it then and put it away.
TNP is already thinking about sending out holiday cards.
Yes. It's that time of year when I take the Olympia typewriter out of its case and type a heartfelt, but general missive about the year's events. Oh wait. No. I don't have a family of my own, and it's been a dog's age since I've even heard of or seen such a "Glad tidings! From the XXXX clan! Here's what Junior did and blah blah." ETA That was perhaps a bit too close to home for some, so, I'll just say "No, not something I do. But it's probable I'll receive a few cards in the mail from family, and that's nice. For them."
TNP uses about five or fewer postage stamps per annum. Or year, to use the parlance of our times.
Good Lord, no. I probably use, I dunno, ten or more a week, on average.
TNP has been to the National Postal Museum in Washington: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Postal_Museum
No, but in the unlikely case where I find myself in that city, the museum sounds about to my taste.
TNP has known a fair bit of postal workers.
Not too well, no, although the postmaster in my small town growing up was very friendly and encouraged me in my stamp-collecting hobby at the time.
TNP has collected stamps.
Maybe clipped a few when I was a kid, nothing serious.
TNP is starting to notice the chill going right through their poor old bones.
Yes, last night it was really cold and it felt good to get indoors and have some hot tea.
TNP had to scrape ice or snow off the car this morning.
Not that bad, but it is slicker than goose crap up in the hills around town. Gelid. People should be wearing their helmets, I guess.
TNP uses about ten minutes or less per year cleaning the inside of his or her primary means of transportation. For a private car, that might be throwing out empty coffee cups and cleaning the inside of the windows. For a walker, that might be replacing the insoles of the shoes. For a city person that might be using one of those pointy sticks to accost waste or ensure vigilance, or perhaps not jumping the turnstiles.
tldr
TNP prefers calling random assholes "jokers" rather than "clowns," since he or she believes it to be less confrontational.
I guess so, but I'm not really a name-calling type.
TNP has at least two grandparents still alive.
Not at all. I suppose in theory some of them could have survived to present day, but they would be absolutely ancient today.
TNP, while not especially secretive, is pretty bored by RL conversations when people ask questions like "So, where you from, originally?" or the like. After all, TNP had to live through the past and is intimately familiar with all the details, and is so lazy that to make an interesting narrative response is tedious.
Yeah, probably true. It seems to be acknowledged by everybody that I suck at party small talk.
TNP has an extremely low tolerance for assholes.