try to inspect some of the construction details.
Giving a woman a gift is really slang for ___________________________________
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try to inspect some of the construction details.
Giving a woman a gift is really slang for ___________________________________
something so utterly filthy and repulsive I cannot bring myself to write it.
If I didn't have such a delicate disposition, I would probably _________________________________
be an excellent prison matron for delinquent girls.
The best thing about Mamie van Doren is that she never ____________________________________
asks to borrow my electric dog polisher.
The last time I had to polish the dog, I ________________
was excluded from school property.
Informing your neighbors is always ____________________
appreciated when you intend to invite Mamie van Doren over for tea and crumpets.
Ol' Mamie really likes her tea and crumpets, man; once I saw her ________________________________
Ingest her comestibles and potables in a most incorrect manner.
Blackface is pretty cool, if you're __________________________________
Al Jolson and long dead.
Cheetahs are the coolest big cats; I love that they _______________
are lured by the scent of Natasha's piscine odor.
The best thing about fish is ______________________________________.
that very few of them want to eat me, but I want to eat most of them (properly cooked, of course).
The next time I go swimming, I will definitely ________________
be bringing a Mars bar, unwrapped, in a pocket of my trunks, for unspecified use.
There was this guy named Rod Johnson, he ______________________________________
was no relation to Andrew or Lyndon, as far as I know.
Andrew Johnson was the first President to be impeached by the U.S. House of Representatives, but in the Senate trial which followed, ________________
an unknown Kentucky Colonel who also was honored to represent his state in the upper house pulled out his johnson and started philandering.
The good thing about woman politicians is that _____________________________________
you can be pretty sure they won't take pictures of their cocks.
Anthony Weiner would probably have been Mayor of New York, but he _______________________
pulled a Spitzer.
It would be nice buying some panties in a vending machine, except ________________________________________________
they never have my colors and they almost always ride up in back.
Wearing your girlfriend's underwear is something I would __________________________________________
consider an unusual, but understandable idea, to the extent I've thought of it.
Good thing about women with ponytails, is that __________________________________________.
they don't have to annoyingly keep brushing their hair out of their eyes.
If I ever grew my hair long enough to have a ponytail, I'd _____________________________________
cut it off, because that's ridiculous.
The only thing better than a WareGirl is a _____________________.
dictionary to look up what a WareGirl is in the first place.
The last time I had to check the dictionary, _____________________________
I was so ashamed I almost soiled myself.
The thing about getting words wrong is that _________________________________.
people can always tell when you mizzenmast.
The books about Capt. Jack Aubrey and Dr. Stephen Maturin are really _______________________________
good for making movies from, more or less.
Spinsterish lady novelists can be ______________________________.
a real handful in the sack, if you know what I mean, nudge nudge wink wink.
The last time I slept with a spinsterish lady novelist, I'm afraid I ________________________________
compelled her to bring out her sewing case: the dainty scissors were abominable.
The next time you sidle up to a lady, you should do _________________________________.
as Jizz does, and put her in awe of your macho suave studly handsomeness.
All the girls say my macho suave studly handsomeness is ______________________
"the only thing I can say, no offense, but WTH? I ordered some fresh Jizz!!!!"
She said "You screwed me, you bastard," so I replied ______________________________.
, "Ma'am, I did, and I'm not, respectively."
Clever wordplay always ________________________
is a sign of moderate or profound damage to the brain.
Rhyming and words, is like some verbs, except when it's ________________________________.
raining men and all of your umbrellas are in Blawnox.
Visiting Blawnox is not something I ordinarily ___________________
would recommend to Auslanders.
The last time I shouted "UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!" __________________________
I was taking part in a weird Biblical reenactment for my Sunday school.
I keep seeing lepers around town, and let me tell you, _____________________
their hand does not cover their moustaches, and their hair is not unkempt.
Clean bunch, those ____________________________.
expatriate Venezuelan lepers, and they wear their caftans with a certain flair that you can't help but admire.
Whenever I jet down to Caracas, I always make it a point to _____________________
play the maracas.
When I visit Brazil, I brush up ____________________________
one side and down the other, but my fur is always mussed by the time I get off the plane.
I really ought to shave three times a day, but _______________
it would ruin my pool-hustling persona.
When I see both coin-op pool tables in use, including at least one person with a two-piece cue, I begin to ___________________________________________.
hum the theme from Doctor Zhivago as loudly as I can. Don't ask me why.
Julie Christie in Doctor Zhivago was ______________________________________
a great actress in a really boring movie.
When I get praise from my supervisors, I suck ______________________________________
on a lollipop suggestively, tilt my head to one side and ask in the squeakiest, highest-pitched voice I can manage, "Does this mean you want to have sex with me?"
I never touch lollipops anymore; they're just too __________________________________
hard.
I gave my supervisor a lollipop once, but somehow I don't think _____________________________________
she understood that I was making a sweet, sweet pass at her.
Having an affair with a supervisor is, I'm told, __________________________
is a zesty enterprise, if you hate your supervisor and openly desire their torture and death.
There a few good reasons for murder, but ____________________
talking or texting on a cellphone during a movie sometimes seem like justifications.
TNP knows a judge personally.
so I took him out golfing and said, "Your honor, your honor."
The worst thing about being fatigued emotionally by people is ___________________________________
when you forget the thread topic again and think it's "The Next Poster." I hate it when that happens.
The problem with Debussy's music is that he _____________________________________________
was too awesome for mere humans to comprehend.
A better name for a male child than "Achille" is ___________________________.
William. Everyone knows that.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to name my next three daughters _____________________, __________________________ and _________________________________.
Clothilde, Agnès, [...], Anne-Marie -- because it's the right thing to do.
The worst thing about knowing a Youtube celebrity IRL is _______________________________.
how they constantly demand oral sex as if they're entitled to it, for chrissakes.
Clothilde, Agnes and Anne-Marie Bin will, when fully grown, probably _____________________________________