The next person to post in this thread...

Yes - an exhibition game between the U.S. and Venezuelan teams. The drama of players faking terrible injuries from fouls, and then running around on the field seconds later, was laughable.

TNP knows at least two drama queens.

Yep.

TNP is mighty glad he or she isn't one of them.

Amen to that!

TNP has been to church in the past month.

No.

TNP thinks inciting religious bigotry is one of the few really good, reliable ways of making fun of groups of people, though.

Plenty of groups you could make fun of. No particular reason to do it.

TNP has heard too damn many Christmas songs in the past week.

No, I love them.

TNP is always kind of amazed that a song as dirty as "Baby,It's Cold Outside" became a Christmas standard.

Yeah, kinda. At least Prince or Madonna never had a song become a Christmas classic.

TNP would like to nominate a Prince or Madonna song to become a Christmas classic.

True, I would like to, but I can't think of anything either of them did that would be good. I have quite a collection of novelty instrumental jazz xmas albums too, and I wouldn't wish any of that either on a broke dick dog. The dregs of Tin Pan alley, the things the hacks wrote when they were in the middle of screwing their girls for eight days on special occasion, every last one of those songs. Yeah, snow is so fucking great, why don't you go die in it, you little hick.

TNP thinks Greensleeves is a pretty nice tune, though.

Yeah, but it's been played to death. If I never hear it again, that'd be OK.

TNP likes this a capella Christmas song by Pentatonix: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAszTEhKLIA

Yeah, sure, it's fine.

TNP is looking forward to saying IRL "crapping in your hands and rubbing it in your face," but it's never come up yet. Maybe it will be Christmas this year.

Nah, I'm good.

TNP is looking forward to a Christmas vacation.

Yes, just afterwards, actually. We'll be visiting my in-laws in Vermont over New Year's.

TNP will have at least one glass of champagne on New Year's Eve.

Probably not. I'll probably stay in, possibly drink whiskey, definitely screw around on pianos, and maybe finally rearrange my keyboards so I can get to the Hammond more easily -- haven't played that in over a year. Maybe clean the kitchen+bathroom floors. Definitely floss and brush before going to sleep/passing out/whatever the kids call it these days.

TNP is shocked SHOCKED that their neighborhood grocery store is closed today, 25-dec. These people aren't catholics, they're all like Germans or English or some shit. Assholes. I really was looking forward to having a beer and enjoying the clear blue skies today while farting around online.

No, I wouldn't expect to find just about anyplace around here open on Christmas Day.

TNP got a particularly nice present from someone on Dec. 25.

Actually, yes. I gave in and saw my family on The Eve and, as seems to be a routine by now, rode downtown to carry some packages for my gimpy Uncle up to his apartment. My mother dropped me at my place on her way back and handed me a box. Not on the best of terms, me and ........ well, most people.... so I was mighty suspicious, and treated it as though it were full of hazardous waste or phosophorous munitions. Pretty sweet, she gave me a pretty neat jet-style pipe lighter and a fleece jacket that I don't need but is still brand new, so I'll save it for a fancy occasion. As I texted her, she discovered my only two weaknesses: pipe accessories, and presentable clothes, and I even made a weasely little attempt at an apology, so it was like a Christmas.....something, or whatever.

TNP is excellent at moderating his or her responses to being in bad moods, publicly, but is still in part a slave to emotions, probably some part of the basal ganglia or something.

That was too fake-serious. The real TNP has had kind of a toothache despite a meticulous routine of flossing and brushing recently.

Yes, back by one of my lower molars. I expect it'll go away on its own, though - it usually does.

TNP has seen the 1951 version of A Christmas Carol with Alastair Sim.

Maybe. Not sure.

TNP can arrange flunking a test, being fired from a job, failing a class, or getting cuckolded in order of ... goodness, best to wost.

Hmm... OK. Flunking, failing, fired, and f... I mean, getting cuckolded. None of these are good things, mind you.

TNP can list three movies which have an important scene taking place on stairs or a staircase.

Uh, Vertigo, Gone With the Wind, The Battleship Potemkin.

TNP can name three more.

Remind me - what was the stairs scene in Vertigo?

I'll say... Dark City (John Murdock zipping upstairs in midair as he developed his psionic powers), Appaloosa (gunfight at the end on the hotel stairs) and Notorious (Devlin and the girl escaping from the Nazis at the very end).

TNP has seen all three of those movies.

Sure. *Appaloosa* was one I only heard about over here, and turned out to be an excellent Western.

TNP can do the same but with an elevator instead of stairway. (yes, I think the staircase scenes could go on pretty much forever, though -- *The Man Who Knew Too Much* *Psycho* *Taxi Driver* *Whatever Happened to Baby Jane* .... I think my head might explode)

Hmm. Let's see... True Lies (Ahnuld on his police horse at the hotel), Liar Liar (Jim Carrey getting slapped by the beautiful girl), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (the T-1000 forcing the doors open... briefly).

TNP had a bit too much to drink on New Year's Eve.

Twenty-four ounces of beer, at 10.6% ABV. An impulse buy at the grocery store. I don't consider four units of alcohol too much, but I forget that defective American popular culture is dominated by effeminate males who probably think that's a bit unhealthy.

TNP probably should not say what he or she is thinking out loud, to real people, IRL.

Learned that a long time ago.

TNP is sorry that the holiday season is over.

Yeah, kinda.

TNP celebrates Arbor Day.

Every day is Arbor Day. Fucking trees with their goddamned squirrels and birds and shit. Love that shit.

TNP has been (or is being, or expects to be) extremely impressed by the grocery-bagging skills of a cashier.

False. I've seen some who are good, many who are fine, and a few who are incompetent, but have never been "extremely impressed" by anyone's grocery-bagging skills.

TNP will watch Trump's inaugural address live.

False, unless somebody drags me into it.

TNP watches Turner Classic Movies a lot.

False. Don't think I ever have.

TNP is not especially a fan of Tchaikovsky's Symphony No.2 in C minor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KeErhHHmf7w

I don't have to listen to it to know I'm not especially a fan of it -- but it's OK.

TNP thinks the time is coming in America when the average person will observe another carrying a shotgun and think, "meh, drone defense," or "autonomous cars, right!," or, for short, "Amagoogle!"

I wouldn't be terribly surprised, especially out in the sticks.

TNP prefers the sticks to the big city.

Nah, I grew up in the sticks. They suck.

TNP likes to take aimless walks.

Guess I'd have to disagree. My walks, although long, are more purposeful - getting from Point A to Point B.

TNP has been to Point Z.

Yeah, I think so. Zima gets a sideways-thumb, Zabriskie gets all appendages down, Zulu tied with Zebra, and Z as in depths of depravity, I only think I've been there, but pretty sure.

TNP knew somebody personally who died of a heart attack while shoveling snow.

No, but I hear of it just about every winter.

TNP has gotten winded and become just a little bit scared of having a heart attack while shoveling snow.

False. Yeah, it can be a bit tiring, and definitely can work up a sweat -- hey, I figure I've done my share of digging out cars and sidewalks, and let the local kids do it.

TNP has never walked across the Brooklyn Bridge, for some reason.

False. I've only done so once, though, a couple of years ago while visiting a high school friend in NYC. Very glad I did it - an iconic structure.

TNP can name three movies in which the Brooklyn Bridge is destroyed.

No, I can't even think of one. My guess is it would have to be a recent movie or set of movies, so as to do CGI on it, since I think I heard NYC cops are pretty much not amused by movie people, for all the movies that are around New York, Tisch and everything.

TNP can name off the top of his or her head three famous people who were born in the same year (for example, Bach, DScarlatti, and Händel were all born in 1685, which I think is neat).

The movies I was thinking of: Deep Impact, Cloverfield and I Am Legend. Spoilers ahoy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNtsVP42bOE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVCki9kwF_4
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...end_teaser.jpg

In play:

No, I don't think I can. I know Lincoln and Darwin were both born on Feb. 12, 1809, but that's the best I got.

TNP has a great weekend planned.

No, I never make plans that far ahead.

TNP has never "played Freebird," and will explain.

I can't play guitar, so no, I have never played "Freebird."

TNP wants to travel abroad this year.

Yeah, it would be great to move around a bit. On second thought false, since not sure if I need to leave the continent -- Mexico or Alaska/Canada would be good enough. Maybe just go to the cities and become a stud.

TNP likes hot weather, but can think of lots of disadvantages, like direct sunlight and flying pests.

If I can just be in a T-shirt and shorts, I don't mind hot weather, but I can't really say I like it. I prefer fall or spring.

TNP just can't keep his feet warm in the winter.

False. I have a pretty good supply of these things called foot-gloves, or socks. Sometimes two pairs at once! Not as good as barefoot, but pretty good.

TNP has spent more time than should be imagined in the company of Deadheads.

No, very few, actually.

TNP has seen the Bill Murray classic film Groundhog Day in the past five years.

I think that's very possible I've seen it that recently. Can't be sure, but I think it's very likely.

TNP thinks wearing glasses is a PITA (for example, it makes it harder to pick your nose), but would not trade them for laser correction (where applicable) or contacts (where applicable).

Yes and no. I alternate between glasses and contacts, and don't particularly mind, but I have no interest in laser correction.

TNP has seen and enjoyed Yojimbo, a tongue-in-cheek samurai drama starring Toshiro Mifune.

Sure. I did enjoy it, too, although I like the reboot or whatever people call it a little more -- not that the Clint Eastwood "vehicle" is better, just more layers of intertextuality going on. I also enjoyed it despite my contempt for anything to do with samurais and Japanese culture -- Ozu and, to a lesser extent, whatsisface....the guy who directed.....the John Ford fan..................the famous.....well, whatever, that guy. No don't bother to fill in the blanks of my memory, I'd just....KUROSAWA, that's it. My mnemonic secret was to think of the movie *High and Low*, and his name popped up. I don't care for, generally, East Asian movies that aren't dubbed -- in fact, any movies with subtitles, really, but with Western European movies I feel I can sort of get the gist of whatever, from facial expressions or embouchure of the mouth while speaking (what vowels are likely sounded, and so forth). Also, I'm an out-and-proud racist whose energies are fueled by hatred and contempt. So, that means the movie must be good.

TNP thinks music should be taught in equal proportion to literature in compulsory schools (in USA, K->12, I guess it is). Or at a minimum, call what they teach as "English" or whatever, "literature appreciation," since IME it's rare that actual literature is taught at the level of techniques and languages, as music and literature are taught at the university level.

I'm as big a music fan as anyone, but I'd be fine if it were taught mebbe half as much as literature.

TNP has a favorite living contemporary non-rock, non-pop composer.

Sure. Trojan Kid is all right -- he's quick and efficient and has a good ear. I don't think there's anything happening in jazz or academic music that is interesting to me, nor in Lautgedicht.

TNP thinks he or she might lose his or her shit if he or she hears some of that goddamned Hollywood New York Anglo bullshit again soon -- that jingle bells, white christmas, rudolph bullshit. Or what we in straight circles call "music for murdering toddlers by."