The next person to post in this thread...

Depends. If it's a group of people and more than, say, five feet or so separates new introductees, I think it's cooler to just give the high sign or nod. Don't know about this bowing stuff, though. Why not a grand sweeping 18th C French courtesy flourish, letting the feathers from your hat touch the ground? "Weeellll! My lady!!!!!!!! How do you do!" ¶ Although I kind of like the intimacy of a firm, brief, dry handshake for a crisp introduction or re-introduction. For friends, I admit to doing the 1970s-style "cool guy drug brothers" soul clasp or an unabashed hug, though, more often than the "square" handshake. I'm pretty sure that's not cool at all, but that's what I do, for some odd reason I picked up a few years ago.

TNP has called people far, far worse things (IRL, out loud, within earshot) than he or she has been called. And yet lives to tell the tales.

No. I only rarely respond in kind to insults, and never, I think, notably worse than I was called.

TNP loves to play Tetris.

Well, I didn't say I TNP respond in kind to an insult, just that TNP has a much filthier mouth than most, and tries his or her best to hurt feelings. I love Tetris. It's been a few years, since I've moved on to mindlessly playing Spanish Draughts (the best form of checkers/draughts) on a tablet. I find ways to make it exciting. Don't ask.

TNP has given the "thumbs up approval" sign to someone recently, while intending the opposite.

Hmm. I don't think so. I'm sarcastic or ironic usually only in what I say, not in my gestures.

TNP will probably see a movie this weekend.

No. Seeing Andrew McLagen's *Mitchell* the other morning, starring a plump and surly Joe Don Baker, ruined movies for me. That is very possibly the worst movie I've seen in a long time, maybe ever -- at least *Manos Hands of Fate* was fun. Anyway, I wouldn't know what to watch, really. Maybe the *Garbage Pail Kids* movie, get some new ideas for the limits of bad taste.

TNP ate something that had been dropped on the floor recently.

Yes, and I've been having unacceptably loose and frequent stool ever since a few days ago.

TNP sometimes doubts if he or she is ever going to figure it all out.

Only every day.

TNP has seen Road House with Patrick Swayze.

Hell yeah. Recently, in fact (past few weeks), saw it yet again -- one of my favorite Rifftrax commentaries, and, probably the only thing that makes the movie bearable, IMHO. Because, PAIN DON'T HURT.........mijo! "I used to fuck guys like you in prison," yet another choicely absurd line from one of the great cheesy movies of all time.

TNP is not really feeling the spirit of summer yet, whatever that means to TNP.

True. It's a little too cool here; still feels more like spring.

TNP has been swimming in the past week.

Hahaha. Bacteria swim. I stroll.

TNP can think of an actor who used to do amazing, experimental movies, but recently turned toward some supicious movies. Like, for example, Ben Gazzara, who, unfortunately, is dead.

Hmm. Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, maybe?

TNP thinks those two have probably French-kissed at least once.

Um, no. to whichever question there may be.

TNP thinks the cops ought to be allowed to summarily lock up smug-looking douchebags with hipster beards the same way they used to be allowed to lock up vagrants.

If they keep trying to sell me Vietnamese port-a-johns, absolutely.

TNP knows at least three Vietnamese smug-looking douchebags with hipster beards.

Only from the movies, and only if the question is "Vietnamese-looking" and "smug-looking," and only if "hipster beard" is either a fu-manchu or like the half-assed circle goatee Iron Man wears. I don't know any east-asian-looking types with the full-on-hipster lumberjack beard or a fancy moustache.

TNP thinks, when asked a question by a cop, an appropriate response is "Are you having some problem I can help you with?"

No. I'm more likely to answer the question directly, if there's no chance it will incriminate me.

TNP has been read the Miranda warning or its equivalent by a police officer.

Nah, never been in that much trouble.

TNP has told a cop: "Excuse me sir, but I'd like to talk to my lawyer before I answer any questions."

No, although I came close to it once.

TNP has taken a picture he or she then regretted.

For once, something disreputable and shady I haven't done IRL. Nope. I've written things I regret somewhat, but conveniently rationalize away any regret by thinking, in a Robert Loggia, voice, "Little pantywaists don't like it, they can go die."

TNP has gotten into the habit of tucking in a T-shirt, when worn not as an undershirt, when wearing pants with a belt.

Nah. In fact, the last time I tried that, my kid asked me what I was doing.

TNP has considered joining the French Foreign Legion.

Hah. There's an advantage to not caring for teenagers -- I don't care! I've thought it would be cool if I were a fugitive from justice, and had socked away a few tens of thousands in cash for travel/training expenses.

TNP has a backup plan for when existing backup plans fail 9 [eta supposed to be just "fail," but the typo "fail 9" sounds cool, so I'm going to leave it, in the hopes of starting a new bit of slang], such as moving to Alaska (or the equivalent) or joining up with don't-ask-don't-tell mercenaries like the FFL.

Yeah, I usually have a backup plan not too far back in my head.

TNP has voluntarily been to Alaska.

Well, I said a backup FOR a backup -- I assume everybody has a backup plan, whether it's living off savings or crashing at Uncle Zed's couch.....eh, fair enoughNo, never have. I would love to, having some family up there which I adore [don't nitpick me for not saying "whom" -- I'm correct], but it's just too far away from the lower 48 to go spend a mere week or so. Pictures I've seen from people I like and trust are beyond beautiful, though, and, Sarah Palin notwithstanding, I suspect there's a culture there that I'd admire. Plus, møøse.

TNP's mother (while alive. mutatis mutandis) was/is a great friend.

My mom is still alive and, although I love and respect her, I wouldn't quite call her a great friend. That's just not our relationship.

TNP's mom can or could dance really well.

I have no idea. I'm guessing not.

TNP learned, supposedly, basic ballroom dancing as a kid.

No, never did. Might have been useful a time or two when I was in college.

TNP still has fond memories of college life.

Yeah, pretty good.

TNP hated high school.

I guess -- TBH, I don't think of undergraduate years that often, but they were good years, lots of learning went on, from the best in my field, and I developed my distaste for most things there, as well as my casual disregard for human life. So, sure. That's a check in the positive column. I'm also glad I didn't go to some pansy liberal arts place and learn about respecting some bullshit.

TNP is or has been recently dismayed by the weight emotion plays in the thinking of many people.

Ninja'd!

No, I got along OK in HS, and kind of liked it a lot. Do I feel it was administered correctly? No. But, then again, I disapprove of most things.

TNP thinks "disposal" or "destruction" are positive terms that make a happy face on one's heart.

Yeah sort of, but I'll make a dummy reply because I want to know IF

TNP hated HS.

I did for the first year or so, but then I met some really good guys who remain my friends even now, and that made all the difference.

TNP is still regularly in touch with at least one high school friend.

Now I am. Thanks to the "wonder" of Facebook. Jesus fucking Christ on a goddamned cross, I do not give one fucking shit about your gay-tard kids, nor the fact that it sprouted out of my junior prom date, you fucking homo wannebe.

What?

Meh, I let some of them talk to me, because it is my privilege, noblesse oblige, and whatever.

Stupid fucktard wankers.

TNP thinks having bad habits like smoking tobacco or whatever is a weakness, and people who don't put in the effort to stop such weaknesses are pussies and deserve whatever they get.

For many people, yes; not all. Some people are genuinely unable to control themselves.

TNP hates the thought of being a psychologist.

It isn't what I would choose to be, but I think the broad field of cognitive psychology has a very interesting lexicon. Which is, in my view, exactly analogous to the vocabulary bestowed on us by the law, in scope, precision, and application to the human mind.

TNP is pretty much skeptical, if not contemptuous, of the crude narratives mankind has invented to justify its behavior.

Hmm...not contemptuous, but skeptical, sure.

TNP wishes it would rain.

Most definitely. Very dry here; the grass is getting pretty brown.

TNP has watered plants or a lawn in the past week.

Not in the slightest. If I had houseplants, they would be dead a long time ago. If I had a lawn, it would have been replaced by gravel, or else a sea of brown, dead grass, appropriately trimmed out of respect for any neighbors.

TNP has recently been walking behind somebody and been confused when overhearing a deep, man's voice talking to his/her companion, because he or she just thought,"wow, that's one tall, mannish-looking broad."

Not recently, but something similar has happened to me before.

TNP has been in Toronto in the past year.

Heh, yea, a little bit.

TNP has never been to Cleveland.

Incorrect. I've been there a lot.

TNP was glad the Cleveland Cavaliers won the NBA Finals a few weeks back.

First I've heard of it, but I'm kind of glad. I like LeBron James well enough, as a non-B-ball-follower (they move too fast for me to follow!), so, sure.

TNP spent the fourth of July with extended family and had an "interesting" time (you know what I mean!).

Nope, just my nuclear family. We were in Toronto most of the day, though, and had a very good time.

TNP thinks it's about time to see Ghostbusters again.

Funny enough, I have asked myself that question recently. The answer was no, so false.

TNP has had recently a weird religious dream recently. Feel free to choose not to elaborate -- if I can figure it out, I'll do mine in the weird vivid dreams thread, but it might be escaping my memory too fast.

No, I don't think I have. I don't believe I've ever had a religious dream, weird or otherwise.

TNP knows a priest, rabbi, imam, cleric etc. who is a very good human being.

Not really. I have known some good clergy from both protestant and Catholics, but I don't have any in my current pile of active participants. I'm sure they exist, just not in my social circle at this point.

TNP remembers the TV show *Father Dowling's Mysteries* (or whatever), with the guy from *Happy Days* and the young nun with the checkered past who went around solving mysteries.

Yes, I remember it. I saw ads for it but never watched it.

TNP thinks he or she could be a pretty good detective if needed.

Absoltively. I think not being the cleanest monkey in the cage, a desire to plumb the depths of the underworld, having a tendency to be suspicious, if not paranoid, and generally unafraid to "bust" some punks, as well as a strong desire to keep a bottle of whiskey next to a loaded firearm in my desk (which is where my feet go): "indications point to yes." Plus, I'm a raging sexist who has no troubles calling women "broads," "skirts," "dames," "twists," and "cookies." Add in liking to work out chess games from the paper and listen to classical music, and smoke a pipe, and I think I might be a detective from the 1940s in the past life. Crude, vicious, and yet somewhat logical -- that's all you need.

TNP doesn't respond well to a bunch of disorderly dramatic hysteria.

Absolutely. Sometimes I'm a bit too rational and level-headed.

TNP has totally freaked out in the past 30 days.

It's hard to say. Not really, but I have been extremely displeased by certain things. No freak-out, just kind of not happy about what I've seen. I just retreat, get some sleep, maybe have a nutritious meal, and regroup to my default attitude of "well, what do you want? people are fucked. not my problem."

TNP likes knowing what makes people tick, but not enough to really care.

Yes, other than with family and close friends, that's fair to say.

TNP is still regularly in touch with at least one childhood friend.

Well, my best friend from childhood is a Facebook friend, I guess that counts.

TNP watched the Home Run Derby.

Nope. Had to paint the barn.

TNP has painted (all or part of ) a barn.