decks and then
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decks and then
sailed out of
Earth's gravity field
, venturing forth to
sail the stars.
But...what was
Jimmy Hoffa doing
just standing there
, while all the
Orcs of Moria
got out their
straight razors and
shook the shaving
cream can vigorously
until it burst.
They were having
a heck of
a lot of
fun, I'd say!
By golly, they
were just about
to shake something
out of its
deep dark nest
of interwoven, horrible
eldritch abominations from
some rugous netherworld
beyond time and
space, where any
-thing could happen.
"Go ahead, punk
orcs," the rangy
son of a
sea witch, Alistair
McBoing Boing Smith
Throatwarbler Mangrove Ftang
, dread personification of
the reincarnated but
somehow still also
it stained there
(That doesn't really fit, Jizzelbin. Want to reread the current sentence, beginning with post 2231, and try again?).
the orcs stained
???
the deck while
they also stained
their ill-tailored undergarments.
"Hmm, this is
not good. I
wonder if, by
leaving," Gandalf pondered,
"I could, just
before anyone notices,
get away with
all seventy waxen
Waxoff nerds touching
each other's waxy
but rugously trembling
mounds of waxiness
(that was waxy)
. "No, probably not
," the Prime Minister
replied very coyly.
Group Captain Smithers
nodded grimly and
stroked his bushy
tustles of hair
.
"This is it
, lads," he said,
running his fingers
through the luxuriant
strands of curliness
that all the
empty salon, nails
and rusty scuppers
couldn't cut through.
Meanwhile, back in
Spokane, perky weathergirl
Narice, home, finished
her strawberry Twinkie
, licked her lips
, put the revolver
in its holster,
which she called
Maurice, and then
spun around quickly
, suddenly wishing she
had thought to
do up her
braids before she
removed her pants.
Her girlfriend, Rebecca,
removed her pants
then I removed
mine, and we
put the scattergun
high atop the
lonely mountain.
But
Narice was vexed.
Why? Well, for
starters, ever time
Should read:
starters, every time
it feeds at
midday, the monster
of whom the
staff at Appleby's
spoke in hushed
tones, always would
give them pause
until it didn't.
Looking back over
the years, Methuseleh
realized that, often,
he had mistaken
pudding and violins.
for dessert and
(You missed the period in post 2313?)
a string quartet.
"Oops, he said.
(And Rube said it too, totally missed the period.)
Methuseleh dropped his
pen and pencil
, grunting in annoyance
and oiled up
for whatever Sheba
had in mind.
"Well, well, well
," the Sheriff said,
petulantly, with gross
, merciless imaginings of
strange, demented and
eldritchly rugose phantasms.
Consulting a dictionary,
Lovecraft sighed with
a heinous belch.
Suddenly, from out
of nowhere, the
buxom young trollop
Lolita Bombalooza Melons
Phartuccia Nefertiti Cleopatra
shortened her name
to merely "Lo."
Lo and behold,
Lo beheld a
bell well below
Lo's bottom, now
cold, so slow,
that, oh no
, she briefly thought,
"What, oh, what
can I possibly
do to bring
along a filthy
filthy girl with
serious bladder issues
posted long, boring
Stories about nothing
on a board
forgotten by all.
Once she thought, "
I wonder if
I will ever
see Manderley again?"
Just then, Manderley
stuck his head
into her window.
"Stand and deliver!
," he declared, as
he pulled out
a truly scary
piece of weaponry
out of his
striped purple corduroy
merkin. He then
, without a trace
of his former
shyness, he whipped
out his prodigious
Wand of Power
, the likes of
no one had
(Think you're missing a word there, spitz)
ever seen in
Oops...
a long time.
Of course, Manderley
never forgot to
floss every alternate
tooth until they
had reached the
crown. She remembered
what Daddy had
always said: "Honey,
if you want
to conquer Botswana,
your mouth must
contain at least
the magic words
'Zippity Doo Dah
'oh, wonderful, just
spank me!'" Lolita
and her cream
-colored pony didn't
play that game
no more, for
they contracted tetanus.