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Ugh. Hell no. I know exactly what they are, and what can be done with an xG connection. Exactly nothing good. I wouldn't want to be without my trusty (?) laptop, but even tablets are of debatable value (I sometimes fantasize about stepping on my little 7-inch for spite, but...I don't know, I guess it has a tiny little niche).
TNP shouldn't stay awake past his or her bedtime.
Generally true, although it tends to be pretty late. Not unusual for me to still be up at 1am.
TNP needs at least seven hours of sleep or is a wreck the next day.
Amen. I don't know what it is, but I'm one step away from being incarcerated if I don't get a good night's sleep. Not sure if they lock up drooling idiots anymore, but they should in my case. Fortunately, I tend to be scrupulous about it most nights.
TNP has very fixed opinions about home "decorating."
Definitely. I've seen it done well, and I've seen it done badly.
TNP has redecorated at least one room in the past year.
Not personally, but my wife is working on the rec room.
TNP likes M & Ms.
Yes, esp. peanut M&Ms, although it's been awhile since I've had any.
TNP likes hot, buttery popcorn with a good movie.
True. But even better with no movie, so I don't drown out the sound with my munching.
TNP has very little time for watching movies.
False. It's just that I have very few hobbies, so where other people might fritter away free time whittling or hang-gliding, I sit glued to the boob tube like a moron.
TNP is having a screwdriver right now, or has in the recent past.
No, it's been years, but I like them.
TNP has had a beer in the past week.
Pfft what a question for an Aussie to answer!
TNP is looking forward to Christmas.
Kinda, yeah. Spending it on a cruise ship for the first time.
TNP likes to travel at Christmas.
No, it's usually a bit of a pain in the ass. I like seeing family and friends elsewhere, but not the bother of going there!
TNP will be traveling this Christmas.
Yes, quite a bit, actually. Will use up a few pages of my passport!
TNP is prone to wetting their whistle a bit at this time of year.
Not so much, especially anymore.
TNP likes whisky in eggnog more than rum.
Yep. I like anything with whiskey in it better than rum -- except maybe a nice rum-n-coke or one of those rum cakes.
TNP thinks, if he or she ever becomes homeless, buying a handgun, a permit to carry concealed, lots of ammo, and a nice holster would be a swell idea.
Well, I can't help but think that it would be hard to get a concealed carry permit without a fixed address....
TNP is really glad to have a home.
Amen, amen, amen!
TNP bought some eggnog just today (as I did).
No. I'm not anti-eggnog, but it's not popular here, or easy to find. I'm sure I'll find something to drink...
TNP is enjoying the snow!
Ha! No, it's overcast and in the high 60s here.
TNP would love to see some snow before Christmas.
Nah, I think White Christmases are over-rated.
TNP has more than three credit cards.
No, I think I have just three: Target, Chase and L.L. Bean.
TNP has been to a Target store in the past 30 days.
True. My Christmas shopping is finally over yay!
TNP hopes to build a snowman this winter.
Most definitely.
TNP invariably uses a carrot for the snowman's nose.
Never tried making a snowman before (limited opportunities). I plan to rectify that soon.
TNP has done all their Christmas shopping.
Yup, pretty much. Might be a few odds and ends, stocking-stuffers etc., I still pick up.
TNP grew up believing in Santa.
False. Some people did try to "instill the magic", but I had a reasonable grasp of logic from an early age. I saw through it.
TNP has resolutions for the new year.
Yes.
TNP is already working on his or her resolutions. Head start and all that rot, what.
No.
TNP has tried turducken.
Yeah. It wasn't very memorable except the host kept crowing about how awesome it was going to be, and everybody was polite. Big chunk of protein, nothing to sneeze at, but I think it's something for people who are old and bored to try once.
TNP is going to watch a bunch of insane cartoons when he or she gets home and regret not having a shitload of whiskey to drink.
No, wasn't on the agenda for tonight.
TNP has seen a live stage production of A Christmas Carol in the past five years.
No. Haven't seen any live theater in twice but less than treble that time.
TNP never gets around to watching many filmed stage adaptations, even though they've been sitting on his or her shelf (or, for streamers, "shelf") for a long time.
No. I don't watch those much.
TNP will be away from home on Dec. 25.
True. Starting my journey proper in about 4 hours, actually.
TNP likes mulled wine.
Not only do I think it's fine, but much like the character "Tweak" on that dogshit American cartoon that stole all my jokes, my parents owned a whole-bean coffee retail shop, that just sold whole beans, and some teas and specialty things like mulling spices and crap like that in the early 1980s, until they went bankrupt and those Starbuck people fucked everything up. It brings back memories of those years of Reagonomics, watching public broadcasting on a 13 inch black and white TV, and my father spending years delivering Franz bakery products and managing a Dunkin Donuts. No wonder that fat freak still thinks sleeping in until six AM is a luxury.
TNP thinks of himself or herself as kind of a disappointment to his or her father.
No, my father and I get along very well, and he's often told me that he's proud of me. He's a great old guy and I'm very blessed that way.
TNP has a fraught relationship with his or her mother.
Well, since nobody else wants to weigh in, I'll have to say she's crazy to the core, but I like her. We have fun going on walks and gossiping about funny stuff the nephews say and complaining about stuff. I talk to and/or see her a few times a week. I like the way she has a hair trigger, and completely spazzes out about ridiculous stuff. Makes it easy to troll her IRL, but that's part of the fun, and she knows it.
You asked, anyway. ETA she just texted me from the coast saying she thought the Rat Man was boring, but liked the Wolf Man and is looking forward to Dr. Schreber. (Loaned her Freud's *Three Case Histories* as a joke, since the old people have some rats/mice in their garage, a few days ago). So, she's also apparently a quick reader with a good sense of humor, which is nice.
EETA yes, extremely fraught. Alcohol basically destroyed her nuclear family, and one has to tread carefully. Although I unexpectedly had a "night with the parents" and got to watch Jeopardy! with them last night (dad forgot his BP meds, so they decided to come back for the night after I'd gotten over there to "housesit" aka download youtube videos). Me and her split a couple of bottles of red, and that was fine -- she pours, she always pours the liquor/beverage. Eh, that's her thing. So, yeah, it's a little fraught with tension under the surface, but she knows me well, and is always happy to share her meager portions of alcohol with me, provided it's in an appropriate place and time. EEETA as an example, last evening, downstairs I plugged in an extension cord for my laptop into a wall outlet. She hustles down the stairs and squints her eyes and says, as only a mother can do, "Are you drinking BBBBBEEEEERRRR!" --"No, I don't have any beer. Do you?" "I thought I heard a sound like a beer opening!" --"No, I was plugging this into the wall, see?" "Oh."
I think that's called paranoia shaming. And, FTR, no, I didn't have anything to drink. But I got in the zinger, "If I had some beer do you think I'd be drinking your shitty wine?" (under the breath, but so she could hear me, you know, like a joke -- that calmed her down and all was good).
TNP thinks revenge is a dish best served ice cold.
Like the Klingons and Khaaaaaaaaan!, yes, I do.
TNP is more of a ST fan than a SW fan.
That's an affirmative. I like the ST movies.
TNP thinks stabbing with a knife is satisfying, in a visceral sort of way. Stabbing what? I don't know, just stuff.
Yes, if I'm cutting meat, for instance, it does feel kind of good.
TNP has had a great steak in the past month.
No. I think I did have a steak of some kind, but it wasn't really something to write about in magazines. Not complaining, it was nice, and I was glad to have it -- I'm not much of a cook these days, so it was exactly proportional to the effort I spent preparing it.
TNP has made bread (or, for the culinarily lazy/challenged, "bread") in, say, a month or so past.
No. I don't bake (or even cook much). My wife is a great baker but sticks to cookies, pies and cakes.
TNP has a favorite Christmas or holiday cookie.
I like those sugar cookies with frosting on them, as far as it goes.
TNP remembers the last time he or she had a broken nose (image included for reference).
No, fortunately. My nose has never been broken.
TNP has put on a Band-Aid or other bandage in the past 24 hours.
Sure. Lucky to have found one moldering in a "sterile" packet in my medicine cabinet.
TNP remembers the last time he or she had one (or, for extra points, two) black eye(s).
Never had one, fortunately!
TNP has big plans for tonight.
Seeing my nephews and their grandparents until about seven or so. So, yes, I suppose.
TNP thinks New Years > Xmas.
Definitely not. I far prefer Christmas.
TNP enjoyed an alcoholic beverage this evening (I'm sipping a little whiskey myself now).
Yeah, had a little sparkling wine to see in the New Year.
TNP likes watching the Rose Parade.
No, although my wife and youngest son do.
TNP will buy roses for someone on Valentine's Day.
Are you crazy? I have sent my share of roses from afar, corsages, whatever, all that crap. It's a bunch of shit. Also, roses are stupid, and painful.
TNP doesn't care for flowers in general.