Art gazed longingly
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Art gazed longingly
, sure that finally
true love might
find its way
, despite everything.
But
Art had not
considered the possible
effects of having
sixteen bulbous eyes
on intertwined stalks
gazing back into
the two eyes
in the centre
of his face.
But now that
he had succumbed
to the wiles
of the sexy
yet eight-limbed
alien Nigel, he
at last resolved
to get over
all of his
squeamishness concerning the
surplus appendages, and
just get busy.
"Wait, Art!" cried
his mother, Blart
Bama. "You can't
just up and
break God's Law
simply because you
like tentacular love
and all its
eldritch pleasures. You
have a duty
to pledge your
troth to some
proper tetrapod lifeform.
"
"Ah, gee whiz
, Ma. You know
that all the
cool kids are
partying with the
Tenties!"
"I suppose
that makes it
right, just because
your 'cool' friends
are doing it?"
"Pretty much, yeah."
came the response,
one guaranteed to
elicit TEH RAEG
from da mama.
It was unspeakable.
Quite literally. For
nobody could say
the words that
the god Zygolideskutheemelodumivimhowmuchlongeristhisfucki ngaliengodsnameanyway,
now channelled through
the combined voices
of Zygolideskutheemelodumivimhowmuchlongeristhisfucki ngaliengodsnameanyway's many
Dunno why the Mello hamsters keep inserting a space in the name....
avatars.
Suddenly, though
actually rather languidly,
a star fell
on southeastern Ohio.
This might seem
unusual in Cleveland,
but in fact
(ever since 1992)
there had been
stars falling in
more places than
you could shake
eight dozen sticks
at.
Nevertheless, it
was obvious that
time had stopped.
"Oh, no!" Lafayette
exclaimed, grabbing the
hilt of his
monogrammed letter opener.
"But, but, but
...," stammered the Pope,
I haven't yet
(I presume you meant to add quotation marks to the beginning of that, Sarah?)
found my white
bra and panties
yet, let alone
the suspender belt
that would complete
my fashionable ensemble!"
"Are you kidding?"
Lafayette said dubiously,
whilst nibbling on
the earlobe of
an errant yeti.
Suddenly a dog
leaped out of
hammer space and
began to dance
a lively jig.
"Well, well, well."
Yes, it was
a cliche, but
that was really
the best way
to express the
utter indifference of
the audience watching
the zany shenanigans
that had now
reached an end.
"Can we please
just agree to
disagree?" the Archbishop
said to the
surly horde of
sundry characters assembled.
They pondered briefly.
Then pondered again.
Nope, it still
was going nowhere,
and so the
Lord God Almighty
reached down from
the Heavens and
smote them all
where they stood.
"There! That idiocy
has now ended."
So He thought!
But, no. It
just kept going.
"Or maybe not?"
A new story
had just begun
with new people
and new places
, utterly unlike before!
So, walking towards
the fiery inferno,
holding a magic
wand of truth
, Alexander Graham Bell
had a tough
decision to make:
Left or Right?
Left, he decided.
"But wait!" exclaimed
a figure stood
Um. I can't figure out how to make posts 2149 and 2150 work together with anything approaching good grammar.
( oh, what the heck)
up on its
"But wait!" exclaimed a figure stood up on its
...looks fine to me
unsteady limbs. "Don't
even think about
pulling that gun
, unless you really
have a real
plan to really
really really really
really really really
put it to
me gently, friend."
Carefully putting the
dime in the
nearby jukebox, his
lips pursed sensuously,
while selecting the
perfect song for
everyone to hear.
I think that sentence needed a character of some kind in it.
"But wait!," said
Gandalf, servant of
the Secret Fire,
"First you must
hum a few
bars of "The
Star Spangled Spaghetti!"
"Is that even
a real song
, or are you
pulling my leg?"
"Well, obviously I'm
making it up."
Gandalf sighed heavily.
It wasn't going
to be easy,
to get the
massed regiments of
orcs to play
Monopoly without causing
factional fighting. This
could only end
in swordplay, he
was sure. So
taking off his
elaborate Centauran headdress,
and reluctantly picking
up the banjo,
unleashed a solo
home run that
cleared the upper