What do I do with a free Bible?

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18 Dec 2009 01:29 PM
Sarahfeena

What do I do with a free Bible?

The other day I arrived home to discover that a local church had hung a bag on my doorknob, inside of which was a paperback copy of the New Testament. I don't have a use for said copy, as we already have a couple Bibles in the house, and I'm not exactly the type to carry a little one around with me.

It's sitting on our kitchen table, and I said to my husband that I don't know what to do with it, that I didn't feel right throwing actual Holy Text (of any religion) in the recycle bin, which is what I do with any other proselytizing materials I might receive.

So, do I need to keep it? Can anyone think of anything else to do with it? Leave it on a park bench in hopes that someone who could use it would find it?

This really falls under the header to me of "find something more productive to do with your non-taxable income, religious groups!" Arrrgh.
18 Dec 2009 01:31 PM
Oliveloaf

I bet the pages make good fish 'n chips basket liners.

Nothing like a little cod with your Luke.
18 Dec 2009 01:37 PM
Sarahfeena

No, seriously, I don't want to wreck it...that's my problem. :(
18 Dec 2009 01:38 PM
What Exit?

How close is the Church? Couldn't you return it?
18 Dec 2009 01:55 PM
Sarahfeena

:smack: you know, I could do that. I will hang it on their doorknob.
18 Dec 2009 04:57 PM
Cluricaun

Is it one of the old school ones with the thin tissue like pages? Almost like....maybe....rolling papers?
18 Dec 2009 09:06 PM
Jaglavak

Quote:

Originally posted by Cluricaun

Is it one of the old school ones with the thin tissue like pages? Almost like....maybe....rolling papers?

:: chews pinkie ::
EEEEEEeeeevillll! I like it!
19 Dec 2009 10:25 AM
Cluricaun

They actually work too. So do the tissue paper that McDonalds uses to put around their ice cream cones. So I've heard....
19 Dec 2009 10:43 AM
terrifel

Next time you stay at a motel, leave it in the nightstand.

If you are so inclined, you might also craft a bookplate label reading:

This Bible has been placed by the Gideons.
WARNING:
If you find another Bible in this motel room, beware!
IT IS A TRAP.
19 Dec 2009 10:46 AM
Sarahfeena

Quote:

Originally posted by terrifel

Next time you stay at a motel, leave it in the nightstand.

If you are so inclined, you might also craft a bookplate label reading:

This Bible has been placed by the Gideons.
WARNING:
If you find another Bible in this motel room, beware!
IT IS A TRAP.

lol. If I did that, I would for sure use a Catholic Bible. Catholic stuff makes the Protestants all twitchy. :priest:
19 Dec 2009 11:20 AM
Katriona

Quote:

Originally posted by Sarahfeena

lol. If I did that, I would for sure use a Catholic Bible. Catholic stuff makes the Protestants all twitchy. :priest:

Heck, some Protestant stuff makes other Protestants all twitchy.

We had an (Episcopalian) Communion service at our wedding largely because it would freak out the in-laws.
19 Dec 2009 11:22 AM
Sarahfeena

Quote:

Originally posted by Katriona

Heck, some Protestant stuff makes other Protestants all twitchy.

We had an (Episcopalian) Communion service at our wedding largely because it would freak out the in-laws.

That is awesome. What denomination are they?
20 Dec 2009 02:57 PM
Katriona

Quote:

Originally posted by Sarahfeena

That is awesome. What denomination are they?

I can't remember what the "big" name is - Church of God, Church of Christ, something like that. About half a step away from handling snakes and speaking in tongues!
20 Dec 2009 04:46 PM
vison

Protestant stuff makes Catholics twitchy, too.
20 Dec 2009 06:59 PM
Muffin

Give it to the next poor street beggar you come across, along with directions to the church that gave it to you.
29 Dec 2009 01:08 PM
Sarahfeena

Quote:

Originally posted by vison

Protestant stuff makes Catholics twitchy, too.

Hmm...interesting, maybe this should be a thread of some sort in The Crucible. When I said twitchy, I meant that Catholic stuff makes Protestants nervous because the statues, beads, praying to saints and all that seems like idolatry.

On the other hand, I'm not saying that the Catholics are any more accepting of the differences...but I don't see Protestant stuff making Catholics twitchy in that sense. I would say that Catholics feel more "exclusive" about Catholic stuff than nervous about Protestant stuff. I remember once on a Saturday night I slept over at a friend's house and went to her Lutheran church the next day. Mom made me go to mass when I got home! Not because there was anything wrong with the Lutheran service...just that it didn't "count." (I know that probably seems totally :roll: to a non-Catholic.)

Ever heard the one about the Protestant who goes to heaven and sees a wall at one end. He asks what it's for, and is told that the Catholics are on the other side, so they can think they're the only ones up there!)
29 Dec 2009 01:29 PM
The Original An Gadaí

Just throw it in the furnace, that book's done enough damage already.
29 Dec 2009 03:07 PM
OtakuLoki

Quote:

Originally posted by Sarahfeena

Hmm...interesting, maybe this should be a thread of some sort in The Crucible. When I said twitchy, I meant that Catholic stuff makes Protestants nervous because the statues, beads, praying to saints and all that seems like idolatry.

And here I was thinking you'd meant this to be a minor dig at all the effort and emotion the Protestants bring to the books of the so-called Apochrypha. ;)