The guy with one can at the checkout line.. and his family has a cart in the other line

Its a busy day in the local Food Mart. Lines at least five minutes long if you have more than 10 items. The chorus of barcode scanners beeping away, one every second or two, some faint, some louder.. A continuous wash of sound, a crying child down the way who's mom said no to a Snickers or Hershey bar, the mumblings of an old lady as she digs through her purse for a coupon or for that last thirteen cents, a light chatter between two teenage girls about their not present "friend".

Then there's this guy carrying his one can of Campbells chicken noodle soup. Tossing it back and forth here and there while glancing behind and off to the right to a rather embarrassed looking middle age woman with a young boy that's lost in a comic book. Hand signals.. Up, down, slight nod.. A barely perceivable shake of the head followed by the glance to the Soaps digest with a cough to conceal the true meanings of these communications.

But alas his plans are all for naught... Whether its the number of items in the carts in queue, the lady in full 60's regalia with several large bags of organic fresh fruit that need to be weighed, or if he simply got a funny feeling on which horse to bet on based on a "Hello My Name Is" plastic nametag... We'll never know.

He ditches back to his now red faced wife. I lose him, busy adding to the light roar of noise, being that guy talking on his cell about plans for the evening with some associates.. But as I drop the thirteen cents change and receipt into one of my assorted bags I got a slight bit of satisfaction passing by our friend restlessly fidgeting as a manager and a checkout attendant dig through keychains full of color coded keys to fix a register problem that only the designer of the system had even heard of.

I wave.

Were that chap with the single can of soup in my checkout queue, I would have addressed the people behind me with a request that all of them, including myself, please step aside and allow this poor guy to go to the head of the line.

I do this all of the time. Why? Because I ask people to do the same when I have less than a handful of things to buy. Why? Because I believe that ANYONE with such a meager purchase should be sent ahead for All of the Right Reasons™.

I especially do this if there is a store employee who needs to purchase a lone can of soda for their break and nothing else. Watching someone who earns almost an order of magnitude less than me spend the better part of half their break waiting in line is ethically repugnant.

I'm confident that my usual enemies will find something to object about regarding this typically objectionable stance of mine. To that I can only say; "Your welcome".

Dude, its a joke about a guy I saw talk to his family for a minute while pointing from line to line.. Jumped into the line just before I got in with his one item (ready to invite his family over as if they had just left to grab something).. Then realized our line looked too slow so went back to stand with his family in the middle of the other line.


I could put it into a few less words if ya like.

on edit.. It's "you're".

Maybe I have misread your post. Is this guy only a placeholder?

If so, then there is room for debate but if urgency is still an issue I still try to make room for people who spread out into more than one line in the hope of being checked out more quickly.

What do I stand to lose? One minute? Two? A whopping three minutes? I've never seen myself lose more than that and if someone is in such need of a swift checkout, I usually do not have any problem with it. I'VE DONE THE SAME THING MYSELF ON A RARE FEW OCASSIONS! [GASP!]

So, please do tell which scenario you originally intended to express. Obviously, I am terribly cornfused.

my usual enemies

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Originally posted by Zenster

Is this guy only a placeholder?

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Arn't most guys just placeholders in the great supermarket of life relationships?

I would like to state, for the record, that I like Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup best when it's still condensed.

It's the essence of salt and therefore delicious.

That's all.

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Originally posted by Exy

my usual enemies

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Ewww ... tinny. Ever not in any way woody and so horribly tinny!

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Originally posted by Zenster

Ewww ... tinny. Ever not in any way woody and so horribly tinny!

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It's that GODDAMNED BUDDY EBSEN!

Hey Zen.. There's a button called "New Thread" that you can push and have all the fun you like in your very OWN thread!

Until then, how about we stick to the topic way up at the top in the first post.. You know, the one that's not under the title "Zennie's issues".

Quote:

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Originally posted by Julie

I would like to state, for the record, that I like Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup best when it's still condensed.

It's the essence of salt and therefore delicious.

That's all.

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If you wanted to be really unhealthy/trashy with it, make a package of ramen noodles, then stir the seasoning packet in with your condensed soup and pour it over the noodles.

It's salt to the max. Mmm.

Edit: Also...um...damn people trying to cut in line!

Quote:

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Originally posted by Julie

I would like to state, for the record, that I like Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup best when it's still condensed.

It's the essence of salt and therefore delicious.

That's all.

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Soul mates! I drink off a tin whenever I do not have the time to heat one up in its diluted form. I bow to your superior intellect.

I have a superior intellect? Oh... right! YES! BOW BEFORE IT!

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Originally posted by Muffin

Arn't most guys just placeholders in the great supermarket of life relationships?

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You are a great human being, Muffin.

Could I request this gets locked? I've restarted this thread away from this mess of a personal "I'm an asshole, who wants to challenge me" diversion.

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Originally posted by Clayton_e

Could I request this gets locked? I've restarted this thread away from this mess of a personal "I'm an asshole, who wants to challenge me" diversion.

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We try to avoid locking threads, but just unsubscribe and abandon it to the Raeg and fun.

gotcha.. It might end up more amusing anyway.

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Originally posted by Clayton_e

"I'm an asshole, who wants to challenge me"

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I would like to challenge you to an asshole-off.

Heh, now THAT is a perfect out of context future sig line.

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Originally posted by Zenster

Obviously, I am terribly cornfused.

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Personally, I generally try not to fuse myself to the vegetables.

But, to each his own.

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Originally posted by CairoCarol

Personally, I generally try not to fuse myself to the vegetables.

But, to each his own.

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Someone's not a stick of buttah.

Depending on my mood, I would be pissed as shit if a guy tried to that placeholding thing on me or I might let HIM through, but then feign complete surprise at his family with the full cart... But I am looking at this from a customer's POV. I would have put all my stuff on the belt anyway, so Family Cartfull couldn't jump the queue anyway.


I reserve my grocery rage for those who cannot seem to work the self-serve checkouts.

And I don't like Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup, but I do like Ramen.

This story gives me an odd sort of amused pity for the guy trying to cut in line and shot down at a distance by his family. I can see it perfectly in my mind's eye, where somebody thinks they're being clever by scouting out another aisle, and the rest of their party is just ashamed.

Same here. You have to have a little sympathy for the mind that would create such a cunning plan, then attempt to carry it out.

Posting to show off my new sig.

The one can guy is a big cheatah! (My friend is from Bahston and I can't help it this PM)

A cheatah I say, and Zenster, you would be contributing to the world's disfunction by allowing him ahead of you since his red-faced wife and bored kid would move into place as soon as you gave the cheater the bow.

Nice sig, jali!

I think his poor family would be even more upset if somebody actually let him in. Can you imagine the shame of being that family? That poor child would be in therapy for years. Years I tell you!

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Originally posted by jali

Posting to show off my new sig.

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Oh my goodness. I don't think I have ever been quoted in anyone's sig before. I am honored and delighted (but adamant that I would win an asshole-off).

Quote:

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Originally posted by Muffin

Arn't most guys just placeholders in the great supermarket of life relationships?

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-Winces- I prefer to think of myself as a napkin ring in the great dining room of life relationships...

...or an asbestos gasket on the head of a 4-cylinder Honda engine in the great automobile of life relationships...

... or a dry clean surface with a slightly roughened texture awaiting the application of a self-adhesive strip of Velcro® brand fastener in the great arts and crafts table of life relationships.


I feel better. :cool: