The Thread of Colossal Hubris
Welcome, one and all, to Mellophant: the new online community born phoenix-like from the still-smoldering ashes of several lesser message boards. Though certainty is rare in most of life's enterprises, it seems fairly obvious that Mellophant is destined to be the greatest thing ever. In any event, we may all rest assured of one thing here, at the very least: NOTHING CAN GO WRONG.
The site administrators have forseen every problem that could possibly occur. As a result, Mellophant is guaranteed to deliver a literally flawless exemplar of site design and performance, reliable and trouble-free in every respect; "unsinkable," if you will. We may confidently predict that membership will continue to increase exponentially for the forseeable future, and soon we will all be rich and famous beyond our wildest dreams. Mathematically, this is inevitable. There is good reason to predict that the Mellophant community will outlast the internet and perhaps even the human species itself.
Can even the gods stop Mellophant? It seems unlikely. All previous philosophical notions of deity must needs wither and die before the candent radiance that is Mellophant's glorious future. We joyously spit on the head of Fate without any fear of reprisal, for we are indestructible. Mellophant has arrived; from now on, things will only get better.
