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Feel free to add your own, let's make this thing longer than the anti-children thread at the dope. :P
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hatesfreedom « Thu May 14, 2009 11:32 am » oh god What Exit is telling one of his senior stories again
hatesfreedom « Thu May 14, 2009 11:32 am » tell us about the time you made soup in 1995
What Exit? « Thu May 14, 2009 11:34 am » So in 1995 I got out a large pot and set the water to boil...
Chimera » Sun May 10, 2009 9:28 pm
"Or you could be a Real Man and use a propane torch."
featherlou » Mon Apr 27, 2009 3:05 pm
"I like Fucky better than Chunks"
Sarahfeena » Tue May 12, 2009 10:16 am
"To save water, we only flush on even-numbered days."
That wasn't in chat, was it? I'm so confused! :???:Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
P.S. There is nothing longer than the anti-kids thread on the Dope. Nothing.
It's in the F*ucking Oyster thread.Quote:
Originally posted by featherlou
This is for quotes from the chat, meathead!
We doan care 'bout no steeking fucking oysters here.
Boring.
Please leave so I can be alone in my failed thread.
There are no failed threads. Only failed posters.
Er...
I mean...
Just wait until a day when the chat room is hopping.
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Myrnalene « Fri May 15, 2009 9:42 am » Can we induce morality in sea monkeys?
It's true; Canada is just adorable.Quote:
MsRobyn « Fri May 15, 2009 9:34 am » Don't mind me. I'm just sitting here thining about how Canada is just adorable.
This one just really needs to be preserved for posterity:
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XJETGIRLX « Fri May 15, 2009 10:21 am » You know, I think we should just let Caerie make all the rules from here on out.
Myrnalene « Tue May 19, 2009 4:22 pm » he's a little on the ribby side but I bet that's not too far from normal for them
Sarahfeena « Tue May 19, 2009 4:21 pm » That ferret looks like he's starving to death.
What Exit? « Tue May 19, 2009 4:14 pm » Blech! Ugly critter.
Myrnalene « Tue May 19, 2009 4:12 pm » that's what hates looks like under his clothes
pepperlandgirl « Wed May 20, 2009 9:14 pm » I think stacking several small cakes for a majestic erection is for the best.
A short while later, Caerie was terribly rude.
andQuote:
Originally posted by Caerie
Quote:
Originally posted by Excalibur
Further questioning of manhood:
Quote:
Originally posted by Caerie
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Dangerously Unqualified « Wed May 20, 2009 6:48 pm » Link my ass, post a picture of that crazy russians wanger.
See, taken out of context that looks totally...
Um...
Ok, even in context it was...
Uhh...
Nevermind.
I just walked into the middle of this discussion -
Um. Yeah. Okay then.Quote:
Q.E.D. « Thu May 21, 2009 6:56 pm » I don't think you can make such a broad claim. Have you ever seena dead, skinned baby painted purple and orange? No, you have not.
terrifel begins a story......
terrifel « Sat May 23, 2009 4:22 pm » Astonished though he was to find a talking sea hare, the kind-hearted farmer's son could not ignore its cries of distress, and lifting up his pail he set about bludgeoning the savage barnacles, which retreated with surly grunts of displeasure.
terrifel « Sat May 23, 2009 4:19 pm » "Save me!" cried the sea hare piteously as it was roughly assailed by its attackers.
terrifel « Sat May 23, 2009 4:17 pm » There before his eyes lay a pearl-white sea hare, cast up by the tide, being vigorously molested by a mob of gooseneck barnacles.
terrifel « Sat May 23, 2009 4:15 pm » "Here is a strange thing!" said the farmer's son. "Never have I heard a voice laden with such sorrow!" And he went straightaway to lend what aid he might.
terrifel « Sat May 23, 2009 4:13 pm » "Alack a day!" it cried. "Will none hear the cries of a stranger in need?"
terrifel « Sat May 23, 2009 4:11 pm » One morning, as he was filling his pail with the finest and plumpest sand fleas, he heard a tiny voice from a neighboring tide pool.
terrifel « Sat May 23, 2009 4:10 pm » Every day the youngest brother would walk down to the sea, there to gather sand fleas with which to groom the eyebrows.
terrifel « Sat May 23, 2009 4:09 pm » In this kingdom lived a poor eyebrow farmer and his three sons.
terrifel « Sat May 23, 2009 4:08 pm » Once upon a time there was a kingdom by the sea.
Then Q.E.D. came along and interrupted the story, because it is Q.E.D.'s job to stamp out fun wherever he finds it. ;)
Sorry Caerie. :DQuote:
Caerie Sun Jun 07, 2009 4:01 pm I don't knw how many shos of tequla I've had, but my fingers are numb,. WOO
You're going to make me star that Ask the Drunk Mod threwad, aren't you? :lol:Quote:
Originally posted by Jeff
Quote:
Caerie Sun Jun 07, 2009 4:08 pm SWB has been posting pics of her handstands? And people haven't saved them?
Caerie Sun Jun 07, 2009 4:08 pm You fools. You sad, sad fools.
The Logos Sun Jun 07, 2009 4:09 pm Don't tell her, but I saved one of those pics, as well as a back bend pic. I don't want her to think I'm some sort of psycho stalker or anything.
Caerie Sun Jun 07, 2009 4:09 pm Don'tworry, your secret is safe witrh me.
Eep! There goes pictures in chat!
Not really, if that makes you feel any better, SWB. :smile:Quote:
Originally posted by Jeff
My immature sense of humor has backfired yet again!Quote:
Originally posted by Sleeps w/Butterflies
May this dialogue last for generations...
Quote:
AllWalker Tue Jun 09, 2009 10:23 pm of ocurse, I'm multitasking
AllWalker Tue Jun 09, 2009 10:24 pm I'm watching 300 and looking at pics of sexy ladies
AllWalker Tue Jun 09, 2009 10:25 pm those 2 things are kind of opposite, now that I think about it
CatInASuit Tue Jun 09, 2009 10:26 pm some people would begin to wonder
AllWalker Tue Jun 09, 2009 10:35 pm yeah, I should choose one or the other - i never realised before that Xerxes was so pretty :(
Sleeps w/Butterflies Sat Jun 13, 2009 3:09 am I really just didn't know what to say other than "Did you just say 'electric nigger' to me?"
A little more context for the above post:
Sleeps w/Butterflies Sat Jun 13, 2009 3:05 am He said to me "I'm tired. My boss has been working me like an electric nigger"
And yet wider context:
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Excalibur « Sat Jun 13, 2009 2:04 am » Dem free-niggers f'um de no'f sho am crazy!
Sleeps w/Butterflies « Sat Jun 13, 2009 2:05 am » OMG Exy reminded me of a guy I met a week or so ago at a bar
Sleeps w/Butterflies « Sat Jun 13, 2009 2:05 am » I will never get over racist people saying racist things as if it is nothing.
Sleeps w/Butterflies « Sat Jun 13, 2009 2:05 am » He said to me "I'm tired. My boss has been working me like an electric nigger"
Sleeps w/Butterflies « Sat Jun 13, 2009 2:06 am » I damn near choked
It's not often that I have absolutely no fucking clue what's going on in chat.Quote:
Sleeps w/Butterflies Sun Jun 14, 2009 7:22 pm what are we talking about?
Excalibur Sun Jun 14, 2009 7:22 pm GOD DAMMIT MOONALENE SHUT YOUR WORD HOLE RIGHT NOW
Myrnalene Sun Jun 14, 2009 7:22 pm the whale is the one with, "Oh my poor friend!" lol John Barrowman fucking sucks
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Excalibur « Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:32 pm » Eventually I would have ejaculated my various internal organs
Excalibur « Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:32 pm » In a pool of ejaculate
Excalibur « Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:32 pm » Hollow
Excalibur « Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:32 pm » If Gregory Peck had done porn I would by this point literally be a shell of a man
That doesn't sound like something I would say.Quote:
Originally posted by Myrnalene
Quote:
Caerie « Fri Jun 19, 2009 9:39 pm » Everyone else on the Internet must live in a lovely land of pretty people and the few, rare people who don't look like screen idols die virgins. Because where I live, I am surrounded by giant toothless hippos who are fucking like mad.
Quote:
McNutty Sun Jun 21, 2009 2:39 am - /me sticks one finger through, pauses, withdraws finger
featherlou Sun Jun 21, 2009 2:39 am - one shouldn't indiscriminately stick his penis through a glory hole and hope for the best. He might try looking through it first. If the person on the other side is hard and stroking, he might then poke a finger through. If a finger from the other side returns the gesture, it's time to play ball. Or he might stroke his own penis as a sign of availability until a guy on the other side bites. All is nonverbal. There is no room for small talk in the world of cruising and glory holes.
featherlou Sun Jun 21, 2009 2:38 am - Here we go - "GLORY-HOLE PROTOCOL"
dread pirate jimbo Thu Jul 02, 2009 12:14 am Can't play a proper game of baseball without snipers. Ya GOT TO have snipers!
Oh yes, the Glory Hole Protocol. I'm sorta thinking, "New username?"
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Excalibur Wed Jul 01, 2009 10:02 pm LOOK I WOULD LET BARACK OBAMA FUCK ME AT ANY POSSIBLE OPPORTUNITY
It's always scrotum, scrotum, scrotum around here.Quote:
terrifel « Mon Jul 06, 2009 9:06 pm » i remember when a single scrotum bought as much as a dozen do today!
Excalibur « Mon Jul 06, 2009 9:02 pm » things that i am not really into include: scrotal inflation
Here's a good one from today:
Quote:
Auntbeast « Tue Jul 07, 2009 8:27 pm » you seem old school
binks « Tue Jul 07, 2009 8:27 pm » the only reason I shave my crotch beard is so freaks cant suck them while they beat off
::hangs head in shame::
SRS CHAT BIZNESS
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Caerie Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:03 am If you were a werewolf, would you eat bears?
AllWalker Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:03 am are no bears where i live
binks Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:03 am would you kill baby Hitler?
AllWalker Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:04 am hitlet?
Jeff Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:04 am if i were a werewolf i would eat whatsoever i wanted
Sleeps w/Butterflies Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:04 am duh Jeff, you ARE a bully
AllWalker Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:05 am if i were a vampire, i would eat werewolf hitler
binks Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:05 am I'd target people and infect them with my werewolfery
Jeff Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:05 am I will start with Sleeps for an appetizer, and then spend my days blissfully stalking BigMac-flavoured fat people outside McDonalds
AllWalker Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:05 am but if i were a werewolf i would not eat vampire hitler
Jeff Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:05 am Because she is mean and calling me a bully :(
Caerie Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:06 am I mean, a bear would be a more interesting challenge than a human. Imagine the rush of taking down a grizzly.
Sleeps w/Butterflies Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:07 am awwww
AllWalker Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:07 am if you were a werebear would you eat a wolf?
AllWalker Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:07 am that would be awesome
binks Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:07 am but imagine the rush of killing grizzly hitler
Sleeps w/Butterflies Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:09 am if I was a werewolf I'd kill lib
AllWalker Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:09 am hmm, if there is a grizzly hitler then there must be jewish bears
Sleeps w/Butterflies Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:09 am I wouldn't eat him, but I'd kill him and stuff corncobs up his ass
Sleeps w/Butterflies Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:09 am well, his people call it maize
AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:11 am » *sigh* my best recipe, but no one is here to appreciate it
AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:09 am » then throw the scalding water in their face, bash them with the stone and rob them
AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:08 am » there! free stone soup. delicious!
AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:08 am » repeat, but with meat
AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:08 am » repeat, but with vegetables
AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:08 am » after a while, repeat, but ask for stock
AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:08 am » after a while, taste it and rave about how delicious it is. if they ask to taste it, say it is not yet ready. ask for a pinch of salt
AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:07 am » when they don't believe you, offer to make it in front of them. go into their kitchen and begin cooking the stone in water
AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:06 am » it's a brilliant recipe - ask someone to give you soup for free. when they refuse, tell them it's okay, you have a delicious stone with which to make your own soup
binks « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:05 am » well, that does sound rather appealing
AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:05 am » all you need is a stone!
AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:04 am » and, if you do it right, it's free
AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:03 am » you could always make stone soup. delicious!
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AllWalker « Sat Jul 18, 2009 2:29 am » tentacle porn
Damned furriners.Quote:
AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:49 pm » kangaroo is delicious, if you don't mind the gameyness
Claptree « Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:49 pm » I'm gonna get me a late night snack of lutefisk and meatballs
AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:49 pm » someone should rearrange the continents like i proposed
Claptree « Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:49 pm » f me running. Nice job on the quota, mate!
AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:49 pm » ah, damn timezones
AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:48 pm » but last night, i BBQed up some kangaroo steaks and kangaroo sausages while drinking, so my aussiness quota has been met
Claptree « Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:48 pm » Well, I should be getting to bed, actually. I've got a quarter to 4.
AllWalker « Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:48 pm » it's winter - puts a dampener on festivities... and yes, it is quarter to noon now
Claptree « Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:47 pm » It should be mid morning your time, right=?
Claptree « Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:47 pm » As an Australian, how do you defend your not being out getting drunk and nailing Sheilas right now?
Claptree « Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:46 pm » Just one question
That's hawt.Quote:
Jeff « Fri Jul 17, 2009 9:41 pm » Which will no doubt be covered with unsightly body hair by then
Jeff « Fri Jul 17, 2009 9:41 pm » I'm just getting old and decrepit. Soon I'll feel the clammy hand of deeeeeeeeaaaaaaaath on my shoulder.
It's all about the penises. Always.Quote:
Jeff « Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:58 pm » that is so hot
Myrnalene « Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:58 pm » I don't think I have any penises
Zuul « Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:58 pm » They levitate around my collarbone.
Myrnalene « Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:58 pm » I dn
Zuul « Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:58 pm » My breasts are DDD cups and don't need a bra.
Zuul « Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:57 pm » ...damnit, Jeff.
Jeff « Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:57 pm » Don't worry, one time I made the same mistake
Excalibur « Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:57 pm » man the only thing bigger than my penises are my H-cup breasts
Jeff « Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:57 pm » that's your forearm, caerie
Sleeps w/Butterflies « Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:56 pm » they see him reading. they hatin
Zuul « Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:56 pm » My penis is only sixteen inches. ;_;
Worst. Typo. Ever. :eek:
Quote:
Myrnalene « Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:28 pm » he would probably taste kike cyanide
terrifel « Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:28 pm » Nazis taste just like other people, don't be racist
Sleeps w/Butterflies « Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:28 pm » You know, people tease exy about not liking people. . . I think Exy likes way more people than I do
Excalibur « Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:28 pm » raeg
terrifel « Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:27 pm » thank you binks
Myrnalene « Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:27 pm » I don't think a Nazi would taste very good
Sleeps w/Butterflies Sun Jul 26, 2009 4:22 pm oh man I shouldn't do nursely things when I'm high
featherlou « Thu Jul 30, 2009 2:25 pm »But you've just described the true American Way!Quote:
Originally posted by Dangerously Unqualified « Thu Jul 30, 2009 12:24 pm »