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Who would win in a fight between...
... a fruit bat and a mole?
... Belkar Bitterleaf and Batman?
... a cloud of sentient nuclear fusion and a cloud of sentient dark matter?
... a Scrabble champion and a Bridge champion?
... my fist and your face? :twisted: :D
Who would win in a fight between...
... a fruit bat and a mole?
Tie, go read Sun Tsu.
... Belkar Bitterleaf and Batman?
Batman, but only if he's prepared.
... a cloud of sentient nuclear fusion and a cloud of sentient dark matter?
The sentient cloud of dark matter, but it wouldn't survive the encounter, either.
... a Scrabble champion and a Bridge champion?
The Scrabble champ. Have you seen how insane those people are?
... my fist and your face? :twisted: :D
Your fist.
Oh, no. Belkar would so own Batman, prepared or not. That little fucker is just plain mean! Bats would be prepared for everything except a direct, frontal attack, which is just what Belkar would do.
No way. Those guys don't know words, they know strings of letters. There are top-tier Scrabble players who don't speak English. I, on the other hand, can't wrap my head around those crafty, hinting Bridge bids. I give it to Omar Sharif in a walk.Quote:
Originally posted by garygnu
Joe
Knife fight:
Woody Allen vs. Paul Prudhome
Kick Boxing:
Bea Arthur vs. Mia Farrow
Big sticks:
Oprah vs.Chuck Norris wearing oven mitts
Paul P. You could stick a knife anywhere into him and not hit a vital organ.Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
Joe
< cue trumpet fanfare >
And now, we have the main event.
For the Galactic Heavyweight Prophet title belt, we have -
Jesus versus Mohammed
Come on, lay your money down, fight fans!
vs.... Galactus?Quote:
Originally posted by ivan astikov
Hmm... Mohammed is a warrior, but Jesus has the whole resurrection thing... not to mention Galactus, who eats planets but has the habit of getting defeated by Richard Reed...
Either way, I'm going to hell.
I think these pairings should stay in genre.
To that end:
Sipowicz vs. Barney Miller.
But we don't all know who they are... do we? I've vaguely heard of Barney Miller, but I don't know if he can do a bit, or can take one on the chin! As for the Sippy fella, who da fuck, he?
Sipowicz in a New York second. Miller would never get his gun drawn. Even Wojo couldn't take down Sip. Fish.....maybe.
Would Jackie Mason in his prime versus a straight Lenny Bruce fit in this genre then?
I note you didn't object to the combatants in my last suggested match-up being dead for a while.
Fish was a God-damned bad ass!Quote:
Originally posted by silenus
Yeah, you're right, Miller was kind of a wus.
Okay:
Mr. Crabs vs. Pops Racer.
Discuss.
I can't find any form for Pop Racer! How am I supposed to think about shelling out matches on this fight?Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
Oliveloaf versus ivan astikov
:evil:
Quote:
Originally posted by AllWalker
I bite.
< cue Rocky theme >
I eat bread!
< gives oliveloaf Eye Of The Tiger and a Van Damme muscle flex >
FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!FI GHT!FIGHT!
I've trained so hard for this fight and now I'm finally getting the chance to prove I have the skills to compete with the best, so oliveloaf will have to do until they come along.
< throws out a lightning left >
I hate bread eaters! You going down, sucka.
(Mr. Crabs woulda won)
You're toast, just you wait!*Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
( I fancied him as well! The other guy was just too much of an unknown quantity to risk my reputation.)Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
*Are we playing up to the fans or are you serious?
(I was completely playing up to the fans. You?)Quote:
Originally posted by ivan astikov
Bring it on!
Most definitely!Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
< slaps Oliveloaf with trademark chain-mail and diamente gauntlet >Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
Pees in your shoes.
While I'm wearing them? Is it gonna be that sort of fight?
This thread terrifies and disgusts me.
$5 on ivan for the win.
Normally my threads sink like a stone. This one is crashing and burning.
I consider it a win.
(Who would win: my best thread or the horrible abyss where forgotten threads go to die?)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer vs Xena, Warrior Princess
Quote:
Originally posted by Oliveloaf
Is this a shoot out or detective work? If detective work I would go with Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich. In a death match I have to go with Tessio, I mean Fish. ;)Quote:
Originally posted by silenus
I assume the winner would be all the straight men in the audience. [spoiler:192fiv4g](jello or oil?)[/spoiler:192fiv4g]Quote:
Originally posted by silenus
I never watched Xena but didn't she kill/defeat Gods and Buffy never more than demons and vamps?
Father Ted Crilly v The Vicar Of Dibley
Dawn French by a knockout in the first. No contest.Quote:
Originally posted by ivan astikov
Oakminster had one about two weeks ago. I would love to see a grudge match style weekly game break out.
Who Wins: Frank Burns vs Les Nessman. Overall most people had Les beating Ferretface.
Anyone know the origins of the "Celebrity Death Match" thing?
I know back in the 70's when we only had one telly and were forced to watch my mam's 'soaps', I used to imagine fights between Coronation Street and Eastenders characters.
I don't recall telling anyone about this though, so it must have developed independently, like Lamarck and Darwin's Evolution ideas.
Violence is a part of human nature.Quote:
Originally posted by ivan astikov
So is comedy.
The idea springs fully formed from our very essence.
(Hmm... who would win, Human Nature or Evanescence? How about Darwin versus Lamarck?)
Actually there are some claims they stoled it from Grudge Match as Grudge Match is older but I know Picard vs. Kirk goes back to the 80s. I think the idea has been out there for a long time. There were probably kids in Greece debating Ares vs. Apollo and ancient Sumerians debated Enlil vs. Enki.Quote:
Originally posted by ivan astikov
Vishnu vs Shiva?Quote:
Originally posted by What Exit?
I think Shiva would win, Vishnu is a bit of a wimp. ;)Quote:
Originally posted by AllWalker