Modern Manners

How many times have you wondered if its really alright to eat that pickle and pastrami sandwich on the on public transport?

Do you consider whether using BCC is acceptable if you really don't want to someone to know if you passing info on or what is the correct way to greet a friend: a handshake, air-kissing or just a hug?

Well worry no more because Debrett's, that essential guide to all matters of etiquette, has released its top ten questions it has been asked over the last year. Now, you will never have to fear making a faux-pas and embarrassing yourself in front of all and sundry.

So, to find out your social status have a look here

Then again, I look over the Debrett's site and realise just how strange it must be to the rest of the world to see all these foibles and customs in everyday life.

Those are pretty much the answers I would've given. Some public transport outright bans food and drink to avoid spillage/mess/vermin.

Yes, and generally I think that's a good idea. On the other hand, once or twice I've worked really really late without food, and have been grateful that Toronto has no such ban as I tuck into a sandwich on the subway as I head home.

I could see eating a candy bar or drinking from a Starbucks-style coffee cup while on a bus, but the bigger and messier (like a sandwich) the item, the less I think it's appropriate. YMMV.

There is nothing quite as infuriating as watching someone get on board public transport with several wrapped fish n chips portions. Everyone watching looks at them with outright longing because it smells soooo gooooodddd!!!!

Of course, if you are the one holding the portions, its great fun.

Smelling good food never bothers me, even when I know I won't get a taste; I just enjoy the smell and am glad for whoever's noshing. But loud lip-smacking and sloppy spilling can be annoying.

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... is it rude to start eating at the table before everyone else has been served? According to Debrett’s the simple answer is yes, unless the host or hostess gives their permission for diners to start

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I was agreeing with the etiquette advice up til this point. This is a practical consideration - if I get a hot meal I am not waiting for it to go cold, and I'll be damned if that behaviour earns criticism. Besides, if I followed this advice, then I'd be thinking that a host who hasn't granted permission is being very rude, you know? But is that polite of me to think mean thoughts for what was probably an innocent oversight? And now I'm having an internal debate which is probably making my social anxiety flare up a little and then I start to get grumpy and maybe a little passive aggressive all because I want to be a good guest but the food is right here and AHH AHHHHHHH

Or maybe that's just me. YMMV.

I know what you mean, but IMHO being courteous trumps getting a hot meal into you, so I typically wait. However, your host or hostess should be on the ball enough to notice and insist, "Don't let your food get cold - dig in!"

I think a lot depends on the host, regarding how much consideration is required.

Exactly. I dislike smelling others' foods or hearing their chomping noises as much as the next guy, but then again I have no issues with someone have a six or eight o-clock beer, or fast food or whatever, as long as it's done discreetly.

Discretion is the key. Chew with yr mouth closed, and don't be a fool, and if it doesn't bother me, I won't bother you. And if it's an inadvertently-expelled stench, I will definitely exercise my ability to make fun of you. Depending on how grouchy I am at that moment.

I hate travelling in a packed bus but whether someone is eating or not has zero impact on the pleasantness or otherwise of the journey. People shouting or getting up in others' faces are much more irritating.

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Originally posted by The Original An Gadaí

I hate travelling in a packed bus but whether someone is eating or not has zero impact on the pleasantness or otherwise of the journey. People shouting or getting up in others' faces are much more irritating.

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You forgot cell phoneheads. But somehow I'm more often amused by spying on a one-sided convo than listening to some morons blather on.

THat's when it helps to be on a crowded bus or train -- you can hurl insults under some anonymity.

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Originally posted by Jizzelbin

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Originally posted by The Original An Gadaí

I hate travelling in a packed bus but whether someone is eating or not has zero impact on the pleasantness or otherwise of the journey. People shouting or getting up in others' faces are much more irritating.

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You forgot cell phoneheads. But somehow I'm more often amused by spying on a one-sided convo than listening to some morons blather on.

THat's when it helps to be on a crowded bus or train -- you can hurl insults under some anonymity.

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I am always conscious of this while travelling on public transport, to the point where I find myself nearly whispering down the phone. Not that anyone calls me much.

I was on an elevator just today with a woman talking into her phone as loudly as if the person was farther away than the walls of the elevator. Grrrr.

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Originally posted by Elendil's Heir

I was on an elevator just today with a woman talking into her phone as loudly as if the person was farther away than the walls of the elevator. Grrrr.

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I have occasionally made snarky remarks when in that situation. Though it doesn't work if you're by yourself.

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Originally posted by What Exit?

I have occasionally made snarky remarks when in that situation. Though it doesn't work if you're by yourself.

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Sure! It works great! You just have to be either (a) very rude and not care (b) very subtle (c) pretend that you're talking on your own phone saying nasty stuff or (d) just mutter under your breath like a crazy person.

If you go for (a) -- pauca intelligentem, don't ever look at them in the eye, don't slouch, don't make any sudden moves, and if confronted, use some classic words like, "I'm sorry, what did you just say?" or "I'll be with you in a moment," or clear the throat subtly, or "I'm sorry, ma'am, I just don't have time to talk right now." I suppose you could just say some crazy shit like "I know! The Sox did all right last season," but I never have had the balls to go that far. You can also reach in your pocket, pull out ear plugs, and say, "just a moment, please," as you put them in, but I';ve never had the chance to do that either.

I don't mind eating on public transportation as long as I can't smell it. If I can smell it, you've invaded my space too much.

So many people are so rude in so many ways, this eating on public transport thing doesn't really botther me. If that's the worst rudeness I cop in a day, I'd be pretty happy with that.

My big no-no is not letting people off public transport before trying to barge your way on.

You should always leave a gap and let everyone off first.

Holy fucking shit. CIAS gets it in one.

Now, there are always some differently-abled types who somehow weren't ready to exit the train within thirty seconds of the doors opening. Those, screw them, if I'm boarding. You snooze you lose.

But the rest usually get some righteously-indignated body language from me, maybe a roll of the eyes or an elongated sigh, or depending how offensive they are, "Move it," or "Watch it."

Speaking of manners, I don't think there is one damned thing wrong with calling people out on their stupidity or lack of decorum in public. Just toe the line, and there's never going to be a problem, people.

Sometimes, I eat in the car or on the go. When it is a public vehicle, it a a whole different situation I admit. I wouldn't normally do it on public transportation but sometimes, I do bring water or soda with me. I hate it when people throw away my cups of ice before I am finished. I don't really mind when other people eat on public transportation.

I guess it's good that there is a place that explains that kind of thing.

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Originally posted by Froody Blue Gem

Sometimes, I eat in the car or on the go. When it is a public vehicle, it a a whole different situation I admit. I wouldn't normally do it on public transportation but sometimes, I do bring water or soda with me.

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I like to be seated in a regular, non-moving place to eat -- I just don't like to be rushed, and I won't perish if I don't have a bite of whatever food.

Beverages can be good on the go, though.

I think it's acceptable to have a beer, a glass of wine while on public transportation.

Hot liquids, I think are better consumed at a table, but a simple refreshment -- sip of water, glass of wine, so forth.

I find those to be acceptable.

I do understand that the US, unlike many Western democracies, has a Muslim-Evangelical-inspired ban on consuming ordinary beverages, in most states.

But that's not to be observed, since it is a rule for children, Protestants, and "alternative" people.

Civilized people who cleave to the standards of Western traditions should ignore such barbaric proscriptions.

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Originally posted by Jizzelbin

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Originally posted by Froody Blue Gem

Sometimes, I eat in the car or on the go. When it is a public vehicle, it a a whole different situation I admit. I wouldn't normally do it on public transportation but sometimes, I do bring water or soda with me.

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I like to be seated in a regular, non-moving place to eat -- I just don't like to be rushed, and I won't perish if I don't have a bite of whatever food.

Beverages can be good on the go, though.

I think it's acceptable to have a beer, a glass of wine while on public transportation.

Hot liquids, I think are better consumed at a table, but a simple refreshment -- sip of water, glass of wine, so forth.

I find those to be acceptable.

I do understand that the US, unlike many Western democracies, has a Muslim-Evangelical-inspired ban on consuming ordinary beverages, in most states.

But that's not to be observed, since it is a rule for children, Protestants, and "alternative" people.

Civilized people who cleave to the standards of Western traditions should ignore such barbaric proscriptions.

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I know that some people get carsick. Everyone is different. That is good that you can wait. I guess technically I can wait but I don't mind eating in the car. Sometimes when I've needed to get to class last semester, I had to eat dinner quickly so I ate on the go. I do love having coffee on the go. Then again, I do like my caffeine in the morning and don't do well without it. I may have it at home but I've found myself having it on the go multiple times.

The beer or the glass of wine is a good way to look at it. I also sometimes may have water but I haven't really had beer or wine on the go. It is good to take into consideration how much if the person is behind the wheel though.

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Originally posted by Froody Blue Gem

I know that some people get carsick. Everyone is different. That is good that you can wait. I guess technically I can wait but I don't mind eating in the car. Sometimes when I've needed to get to class last semester, I had to eat dinner quickly so I ate on the go. I do love having coffee on the go. Then again, I do like my caffeine in the morning and don't do well without it. I may have it at home but I've found myself having it on the go multiple times.

The beer or the glass of wine is a good way to look at it. I also sometimes may have water but I haven't really had beer or wine on the go. It is good to take into consideration how much if the person is behind the wheel though.

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Well, if you can drink hot coffee in a car without spilling it on yourself about half the time, then power to you.

I'm dependent on coffee as well, but I recommend swapping the coffee for about a liter or so of room-temperature wine, so when you reach your destination, you REALLY need that coffee.

And, to be sure, safety is important for the driver. I recommend a hard ceiling of ten to twelve units of alcohol.

Certainly no worse for impairment than jacking off or texting/talking on the phone/punishing your child/whatever else idiots do.

Some may disagree, but I say, the terrorists cannot win.

Well, except when they do.

But they shouldn't.

Unless they're freedom fighters.

Never mind.