How do you do in polite, unfamiliar social situations?
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How do you do in polite, unfamiliar social situations?
I picked the second thing.
It's really part of my job to host, mingle, and get along with people, but I kinda hate idle chatter.
I commend myself on a single, well-honed skill: I can talk about politics, at length and in depth, without offending anyone and without tipping my hat as to my personal leanings.
I've grown good at it by the nature of my job history (decades in sales and customer service), but I hate doing it. I always feel badly for artifex, because I go home after work and my idea of relaxing is to talk as little as possible.
It does not come naturally to me, sadly. I work at it, but I have a pathological fear of Getting Looked At Funny.
I do OK at it. I do even better when I've had a beer or some wine. Usual topics: books, movies, history, politics, travel, jokes.
This...this really is a good message board for you, isn't it? :DQuote:
Originally posted by Elendil's Heir
Heh. And I didn't even mention Tolkien, flags or Sherlock Holmes!
How about askance? Is it OK to look at you askance? I've just always wanted to do that to someone.Quote:
Originally posted by Orual
I thought I'd responded to this. I could talk the hind legs off a donkey. I love small talk, shooting the breeze or what have you.
I'm looking at you askance right now!Quote:
Originally posted by OneCentStamp
As long as it's not aghast, I think we're good.Quote:
Originally posted by OneCentStampHow about askance? Is it OK to look at you askance? I've just always wanted to do that to someone.Quote:
Originally posted by Orual
Technical Meetings where I know what I am doing, I can gabble away. Small talk makes me want to hide in the corner. Once the topic gets beyond the weather, I'm usually stumped.
It is easy for me, I can strike up conversations with strangers, I can always talk sports or politics or movies or whatnot.
As much as Zuul might disagree, I'm terrible at small talk. I tend to ramble, if I manage more than two syllables at a time.
No.Quote:
Life Skills, Part Seven: Can you make small talk?
Best reply ever.Quote:
Originally posted by Myglaren
I don't know if I'm good at it, but I'm comfortable with it. Have to do a lot of it for work, where I suppose my real skill is hopping from chitchat to deeply personal questions. I don't mind striking up conversations with strangers, though.
Unless I'm at a party where the entire idea is to strike up conversations with strangers. Then it becomes terrifically uncomfortable for me. Just realized that, that the difference seems to be focusing on small talk and impressing with my social prowess, versus being engaged in something else (even if it's waiting in a line) and making small talk while doing so.
One of my favorite stories about the notoriously laconic Calvin Coolidge is that he was once seated at a dinner party next to a beautiful young woman who said, "Now, Mr. Coolidge, I give you fair warning: I've made a bet with a friend that I can get you to say more than two words this evening."Quote:
Originally posted by OneCentStampBest reply ever.Quote:
Originally posted by Myglaren
Coolidge replied, "You lose."
It's pretty amazing to be able to turn on a dime, from hearing about someone's grandkid, to asking them about the consistency and amount of their stools.Quote:
Originally posted by artifex
I remember reading this story as a kid, in some "quick facts about the Presidents" book that I had. I can date the book by the fact that the last entry in it was for first-term Reagan. :DQuote:
Originally posted by Elendil's Heir
I find that using transitional sentences can help in situations like that: "I'm so glad that Trixie is enjoying high school life. Well, I guess we'd better talk a bit about your digestion. Can you tell me how things are going in the bathroom for you?"Quote:
Originally posted by OneCentStamp
I hope I can. I'm meeting four strangers tomorrow from America (one of them lurks on SDMB).