A Bible.
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A Bible.
Any of the secondary dials on a chronometer watch.
A jar of curry powder.
A treadmill.
Ipecac syrup.
Guest towels.
Brevell Sandwich toasters (well after the first week or so)
gravy shaker. (I don't know if that's what you call it or not. It's a plastic container with a screw-top lid. You are supposed to put flour and turkey drippings in it, and shake it up to mix them together, as part of making gravy. That's not how I make my gravy.)
A set of encyclopedias
A set of picture notecards I was given which I don't like but just never got around to throwing away.
A fondue kit.
The sense God gave a squirrel.
Juicer
OK in fairness I'm about to get rid of my encyclopaedias but I had both childrens' (Childcraft) ones and adult ones that I used a lot until the age of maybe 15. After getting Encarta and then internet taking off I had no use for 'em anymore. Although the ones we have are from the '70s so some of the illustrations are priceless.
A condom in their wallet.
Principles.
Bay leaves.
Whole wheat flour.
Sure, you bought it with good intentions, but it's going to sit there forever.
That electric dog polisher Steve Martin gave me.
Well shit. I use the chronometer dials on my watch, curry powder, whole wheat flour, bay leaves and our fondue set all on a rather regular basis and I'm nearly sure that I've used all of those food related items AT THE SAME TIME before. Guess I'm more of a weirdo than I'd previously admitted to myself.
Anyway, I present A List of Shit that is Had But Never Used in the Cluricaun Household:
Decanters
All of the Waterford crystal
The nice blanket on the couch
Most of the pillows on the couch
The remote that came with our TV
Our Wii
Ammonia
Candles, and lots of em. Oh there's ones we burn, but there's a lot more we don't.
My printer
The TV in the guest room, hasn't been turned on in at least two years. I pay for cable on that fucker too.
A samurai sword
Shaving cream
More bedding than you could shake a stick at.
I'm a corse heathen to my wife, I don't belive in 'decorative' bedding, towels or candles. Decorations are things like paintings or brass diving helmets (note: I am not allowed to purchase a brass diving helmet much to my chagrin, but I digress and think it would look lovely) or plants. They're nice, but they don't serve any real purpose (except perhaps brass diving helmets).
Decorating with useful things is fucking dumb. I don't get the point of owning practical things that you can't ever use. We have down pillows, big king sized ones, that live inside of a tellingly named thing called a "sham" that I am not allowed to use.
Common sense.
Coupons for that new Chinese place.
Witch hazel (just folks over 60).
A kitchen drawer full of fast food condiment packets.
Batteries that don't fit anything you have.
Thimbles.