When you're offered food you don't want...

How do you handle it? How would you prefer a polite guest respond if you offer them food that it turns out they dislike?

My niece and her boyfriend came over at dinner time tonight, uninvited. I'd made extra, as I'd intended on saving leftovers, so it wasn't any particular hardship. I asked them if they'd be interested in staying for dinner. My menu consisted of baked chicken, green beans and bruschetta. My niece happily agreed. While dishing up, my niece asked her boyfriend if he wanted some of the chicken. He responded in a sarcastic tone of voice, "Is it good chicken?"

:confused:

I don't recall any horrific chicken related mishaps in the kitchen, so I'm not sure what inspired that.

He doesn't like "green things", so made gagging sounds at the beans.

I offered him some of the bruschetta.

Him: What's that?
Me: It's roasted bread that's been topped with things. This one has tomato, onions, garlic, basil, cheese and olive oil. It's kind of like a sauceless pizza.
Him: What the hell is the point of pizza without sauce?
Me: Well...that's why it isn't called pizza. It's bruschetta.
Him: God! Leave it to the French to make terrible food.

I can honestly say that's the rudest I've ever had an adult dinner guest. Assuming you had been offered an equally repugnant feast, what would have been a polite way to back out of eating it?

Quote:

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Originally posted by Zuul

Assuming you had been offered an equally repugnant feast, what would have been a polite way to back out of eating it?

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NOT LIKE THAT!!!!

In all seriousness, though, a simple "I'm not really hungry," or small portions of things you can stomach or haven't tried can go a long way toward not being a bad guest.

I'd have a bite or two to be polite, or if I really really really couldn't stand the food being offered, would just say, "No, thanks, I don't care for that."

That guy was pretty damned rude.

Um, I'd eat what I was offered. If it was something I literally couldn't choke down, I'd say that I wasn't hungry.

How old was this barbarian? Who the hell over the age of 10 makes gagging noises?? Jesus Christ.

Yeah, boyfriend is an extraordinary jerk.

There are so many polite ways to turn down food -

"I think I'll just have one bit because it looks too good to resist, but I had a late lunch so I'm not hungry."

"oh no, tomatoes! I love them but unfortunately I'm slightly allergic so I really shouldn't. Too bad, I bet those are terrific."

"What a nice offer. I'm feeling a little under the weather and I'm afraid eating might make me feel worse, so I think I'll skip. Maybe just a bite or two, if anything you're serving is bland."

Wow, that was rude indeed.

The usual one to use is "Thank you, but I'm not hungry", but making sarcastic comments about the food is a guaranteed way not to be offered any more food again.

Dear lord, that worse than how my 4-year-old turns down food. I think there are very, very few excuses to show anything but delight in food someone else has cooked, even if it's feigned delight.

Doesn't like "green things?" Allow me to join the chorus of people asking for this dingbat's age.

Also, was your niece mortified and apologetic on his behalf, at least afterwards privately to you?

He's in his twenties and about to buy his first house, so clearly he has some ability to function in society. When I told my mother about this over lunch today, she asked me why I didn't answer his chicken question with, "No, it's not good. It tastes like shit." Ah, hindsight.

I'm not sure I've ever turned down food that I've been offered, except in cases where I was genuinely not hungry or didn't have the time to eat. It's simply polite, I've felt. Nibbling away at something that doesn't meet my usual taste expectations or a simple "oh, I already ate, but thank you" doesn't seem like too much effort. Making it clear that you are hungry, but just don't like their food breaks every rule of manners I grew up with.

People with dietary restrictions, of course, have an easy out if they're faced with something they can't eat. If they share that politely, I don't take offense.

Quote:

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Originally posted by Zuul

People with dietary restrictions, of course, have an easy out if they're faced with something they can't eat. If they share that politely, I don't take offense.

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Sure. Having a wife who is Jewish and a mom who is Buddhist (of a denomination that is vegan about 10 days per month), I have plenty of experience with observing how to do this gracefully. :)