Spitz, what the fuck is wrong with you?
I don't expect this to be terribly interesting to most of you and if you don't care about stupid gay chat drama then move along.
So Spitz comes in one night with the explicit goal of starting a conversation about some irrelevant Australian athlete of some sort who, upon watching some irrelevant Australian sports team win a victory against someone-or-other, congratulated the victors, and told the losers, "Suck on that faggots" via Twitter.
Now, this isn't the kind of news I care about. Dumb athlete says dumb homophobic thing, news at 11. I'm not exactly shocked by this. This is not the kind of news I follow; I couldn't give have a shit, honestly, about irrelevant celebrities I've never heard of in irrelevant countries I've barely heard of.
At any rate, some rugby player called her out (it's like American football except they don't wear padding and the French national rugby team puts out this incredibly sexy calendar every year and if you get on Google you can find the uncensored pics and videos and you can buy compilations and oh my god.) Anyway, Australian rugby player Ian Roberts called her an idiot (which seems valid) and said that any sponsers who continue to support her are idiots too (which also seems valid, unless being anti-'faggot' is somehow a useful marketing position in whatever irrelevant country Spitz is from.) Ian Roberts, incidentally, is in fact a faggot. (As, in fact, am I. Please, dear readers, control your breathing so you don't faint with shock.)
Anyway, surprisingly, young Spitz was upset by this. Spitz came in to explain to Mellophant that this woman didn't deserve to be treated as though she had just used an anti-gay slur. She deserved the pretense that she had been perfectly polite all this time. Yeah, I don't get it either. He was upset about something about how gay people had attacked the "straight community" (yes, those were his words) by condemning her actions. Somehow, iniquitous gays had essentially assaulted straight people everywhere by blaming them for this.
Aside, of course, from the fact that -- as far as I can tell from Googling -- Ian Roberts is pretty much the only gay person who has even bothered responding to the dumb bitch in question. Spitz certainly couldn't find any examples of what he was complaining about. That, however, did not stop him from explaining that it was some sort of injustice that gay people had blamed her -- and, by extension, the "straight community" -- for what she said. There are literally zero examples of gay people who have blamed straight people in general for this dumb bitch's comment. Seriously, get on the Googlenets if you doubt me. There just aren't any.
But anyway, despite the fact that this undoubtedly talented (in areas that don't involve social behavior, intelligence, or really any skill not related to timing one's breathing) idiot insulted gay people, somehow, gay people managed to avoid repeating her behavior, and limited their criticism to the dumb bitch herself. No one said anything about straight people in general. Nonetheless, Spitz is extremely butthurt over the tremendous insult the "straight community" suffered due to the iniquitous gays who have the nerve to hold a straight person individually responsible for the anti-gay thing she said.
Look. I don't think the moron in question is actually a homophobe. I just think she's an imbecile. I get that people use casually homophobic language and don't understand or care about how that impacts on gay people. They do it because they're dumb, not because they're particularly bigoted. She's too stupid to understand what she's saying. I recognize that. I'm every bit as pro-stupid as she is pro-gay.
What I don't get is why Spitz decided to be her white knight, bringing the stupid bitch in question up in chat and demanding that chatters offer her an indulgence for her behavior. I don't get why I or anyone else should be required to excuse what she said. It wasn't okay for her to use homophobic slurs the way she did, and I don't understand why Spitz would feel it is somehow appropriate to defend that shit the way he did.
I also don't get why Spitz decided that the moment anyone disagreed with him, it was yet another attack on the "straight community". I don't get why he somehow thinks that gay people should ignore that kind of thing rather than, you know, responding to it and disapproving of it. Apparently, in Spitz's mind, gay people are obligated to tolerate and excuse that kind of thing. I don't understand why he thinks that at all.
What I really don't get, though, is how I am somehow responsible for this. See, ever since this event, Spitz has had me on ignore. This, despite the fact that it was a conversation in which I was almost completely uninvolved. Look at the transcript: I showed up well into the conversation, stayed for a few minutes, and then left, because I didn't want to have the fight. I showed up again, briefly, before the end. Because it was somehow still going on after I drank a bunch and masturbated to pee videos on Youtube. All in all, I was there for well less than a quarter of the conversation he had which was with Inner Stickler and Myrnalene. Who, gamely, futily, tried to get him to stop embarrassing himself by launching his anti-gay tirades.
Somehow, nevertheless, I am the bogeyman of this conversation. I've attached the text of it in the next message so that my beloved readers can see for themselves. Despite the fact that I was involved in less than a quarter of the conversation -- and most of that spent trying to derail Spitz's self-humiliation with jokes -- somehow, I am some sort of monster, devoted to unfairly attempting to hold straight people responsible for what they say. Which, according to Spitz (but not, however, the dumb bitch in question) is some sort of outrage. (N.B. The dumb bitch in question has apologized profusely for her dumbbitchedness, which is not enough to stop Spitz from bravely defending her against the cruel hordes of gays that are victimizing her and all other straight people.)
Spitz, in fact, spent the whole conversation screeching about how people were being cruel to him. It was unfair, apparently, to accuse him of defending straight people for using homophobic slurs (even though that's what he was doing.) In Spitz's world, apparently, it is totally unconscionable for gay people to hold straight people responsible for their actions, and expecting him to come up with some backing for his defense of this dumb bitch was yet another example of gay people victimizing straight people like him.
Anyway, for reasons that are not clear to me, Spitz has blamed me for his embarrassing failure here. Somehow, I -- despite being present for less than a quarter of the conversation, and that time spent mostly trying to derail it through jokes -- somehow I am the horrible gay person who is attempting to victimize straight people everywhere just because they use anti-gay slurs. Basically, because Spitz was humiliated in his conversation with Inner Stickler and Myrnalene, I deserve to be punished -- see, he's stuck me on his ignore list. I have no idea why. I have been pretty cool with him on a lot of occasions. In particular, I have spent a lot of time attempting to help him with computer troubles.
I don't see what I've done to deserve this. I really can't see why I deserve punishment here, rather than, say, Myrnalene, who was actually attempting to correct his behavior. Except, well, she's straight, and I'm gay. That's pretty much the only thing I can figure out that I have done wrong here. It appears that being gay is, in itself, enough reason that I deserve to be punished, for the horrible brutality that gay people never exercised upon this dumb woman and the "straight community".
