Is it judgmental to say "I support the right to choose, but I personally would never have an abortion?"

I was reading a pro-life vs. pro-choice discussion on another board, and a couple different posters said basically what I said in the quotes in my thread title. Another couple posters protested that you never know if the person you are talking to might have had an abortion, so you shouldn't say that you would never have one because it's judgmental and might make them feel bad.

I'm pro-life in my personal philosophy and grudgingly pro-choice (or maybe I should say not anti-choice) politically, and so I don't think there's anything wrong with stating that I, personally, would not have an abortion. It's the truth, after all, and I think it's perfectly reasonable stance, so why shouldn't I be honest about it? What do you think?

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Originally posted by Sarahfeena

Another couple posters protested that you never know if the person you are talking to might have had an abortion, so you shouldn't say that you would never have one because it's judgmental and might make them feel bad.

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Don't ever share your opinions, lest some other person feel judged by them. :dubious:

Of course it's not judgemental, but for some reason some people have this ridiculous need to feel like others can't have a different viewpoint without it invalidating their own.

Yeah, that's the essense of the word "choice" right there. I support your right to choose whatever you want for yourself and whatever I want for me.

Anything else is just internet butthurt.

Seems cool to me.

I am pro legalization of pot, but wont smoke the stuff. I think that's fine. Same with prostitution.

Judgmental? Judgmental is deciding that what works best for you is what's best for everyone. This is the opposite of that.

Unless you go the, "I guess it should be legal, but you're a dick if you do it." route.

I don't know. Is it actually relevant to the discussion that the person posting would not have an abortion?

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Originally posted by Sarahfeena

Another couple posters protested that you never know if the person you are talking to might have had an abortion, so you shouldn't say that you would never have one because it's judgmental and might make them feel bad.

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I am vehemently pro-choice and I think that's just silly. Abortion is a very delicate topic, but I think that if your feelings on the matter are fragile, you should probably remove yourself from the discussion rather than expect everyone else to censor their opinions for your benefit.

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Originally posted by Myrnalene

Is it actually relevant to the discussion that the person posting would not have an abortion?

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If the discussion is about people's opinions on abortion, "I support the legal right, but would not personally make that choice" is a perfectly valid contribution.

Never smoke prostitutes. They taste terrible.

Anyway, supporting someone's right to do something doesn't mean that you support their efforts not to have any repercussions from it. That's now how personal responsibility works. You make your bed, you lie in it. You had an abortion and now you feel bad? Go fuck yourself.

Also, for the record, I'm 100% pro choice.

I don't find that to be judgmental. I don't expect other people to make the same choices I would, and so long as they don't try to take that choice away from me they can make whatever personal choices they want to make. If you're pro-choice, then the fact that someone is anti-abortion and yet pro-choice is a good thing, because you have another ally. Good God, are they expecting everybody to be cheering abortion on if they're pro-choice?

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Originally posted by Oliveloaf

Seems cool to me.

I am pro legalization of pot, but wont smoke the stuff. I think that's fine. Same with prostitution.

Judgmental? Judgmental is deciding that what works best for you is what's best for everyone. This is the opposite of that.

Unless you go the, "I guess it should be legal, but you're a dick if you do it." route.

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I'm with you. I don't smoke pot and haven't for years but really want to see it fully legalized and commercialized and of course taxed.

Prostitution, of course they should legalize it, it would be better for the workers in the long run. Seems to bear out in the countries where it is legal.

Pro-Choice, yes I am, though not enthusiastic about it. Half the reason I am pro-choice is that as a male I tend to feel like I don't really have a right to tell women what they should do in these cases. What I really am though is very pro Birth Control. Push in the schools from Middle School on. I think that one of the worst things kids can do to themselves is get themselves pregnant. It really puts them behind the 8-ball early. I know there are exceptions but not enough.

Devil's advocate here: Is it fair to simultaneously tell someone they have a right to choose, and then telling them that you think they're making an immoral choice?

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Originally posted by Sarahfeena

Devil's advocate here: Is it fair to simultaneously tell someone they have a right to choose, and then telling them that you think they're making an immoral choice?

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Probably. On a different subject, I like what Obama said on the WTC Mosque, 'They have every right to build it. But maybe it would not be the best idea.'

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Originally posted by Sarahfeena

Devil's advocate here: Is it fair to simultaneously tell someone they have a right to choose, and then telling them that you think they're making an immoral choice?

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Only if they asked. Otherwise you're being overbearing.

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Originally posted by Sarahfeena

Devil's advocate here: Is it fair to simultaneously tell someone they have a right to choose, and then telling them that you think they're making an immoral choice?

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It depends on the context of the conversation. It would be assholish to say that to a woman that just had an abortion, in those words. I don't think saying "I wouldn't choose that for myself" even comes close to implying "because it is a universally immoral choice", though.

Sure, it's judgmental, but I'm not sure that's a bad thing. I fully support the right of any woman to have an abortion whenever she chooses, but that doesn't change the fact that if a woman was pregnant with my child, I would try to convince her not to.

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Is it fair to simultaneously tell someone they have a right to choose, and then telling them that you think they're making an immoral choice?

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I don't think it's unfair if you aren't curtailing their freedom. It might be rude, particularly if they didn't ask for your opinion, but that's just life.

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Originally posted by Sarahfeena

Devil's advocate here: Is it fair to simultaneously tell someone they have a right to choose, and then telling them that you think they're making an immoral choice?

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It all depends on context. There are a lot of people out there who are pragmatically pro-choice who nonetheless feel that abortion is, at its basis, a decision that involves deciding to kill a living thing. I don't feel that's true until later in a pregnancy but for me, it's inescapable that there is little difference from a third trimester abortion and infanticide of a baby that has been born. I'm pro-choice more for pragmatic reasons than for purely moral reasons.

So, I guess, if a parishioner comes to her pastor for advice, I'd expect the pastor to say something along those lines. Probably padded out with some more verbiage to make it less straightforward, but basically that. As someone who has never dealt, and will never deal with that situation in reality, I have a hard time even imagining how it would go. But I think that, as a moral perspective, that answer is perfectly legitimate.

On the other hand, if I gave that moral perspective to someone contemplating it, I wouldn't particularly expect her to be pleased at it. That kind of advice is only welcome in a very few circumstances.

I don't think the quote posed in the OP is inherently judgmental. You're not imposing your beliefs on anyone else, or requiring that anyone follow your own beliefs or that your beliefs are to be made law.

As for the second question, it would depend on context. If I was having a conversation with a girlfriend where she asked my opinion, I'd counsel her to do what was best for her and her circumstances. If asked what I would do, my response would be "its not something I would do, but if you feel this is what you have to do, then I will support your choice" (and yes, have been there done that when I was in college, still good friends with the woman in question). I wouldn't, on the other hand, tell a girlfriend out of the blue that I wouldn't, only if she were to ask.